(Gotham city)
It was two weeks after the crew had freed King Shark from prison. While most of the crew was laying low at the mall, Harley was having Coffee with the tax book containing Queen of Fables at her tax office.
"And that's one chipmunk we'll never forget. In other news evil sorceress Queen of Fables won a huge ruling today when a judge found her imprisonment in a U.S tax code to be cruel and Unusual punishment" Tawni said via a giant screen in central Gotham showing a picture of Queen of Fables drunk on the ground and flipping off everyone present
"They always use that same damn picture" Queen of Fables complained from her tax book
"Better than the picture they use of me" Harley said showing a picture of herself that showed her mouth open and eyes half closed
"From what I heard they paid a premium for that picture so of course they'll use it" Naruto said entering the tax office carrying a sack of something
"That's cause you sold it to them you whiskered bastard!" Harley yelled at Naruto
"Hey don't blame me. It was a slow day with my clients since I had only gotten with 10 of them that day" Naruto said defending himself before dropping the sack on Queen of Fables desk
"What the hell is this shit?" Queen of Fables asked irritated
"I owe the IRS some back taxes and need to know the exact amount I need to steal or create" Naruto said as he sat down in a seat next to Harley
"... you pay taxes? You? Mr slaughter everyone who looks at you funny?" Harley asked baffled at this admission
"Listen clown babe I'll fight many things, Lions, Tigers, bears, Kryptonians, Tamaranens, Green Lanterns, Billionaires in need of getting laid, People Who fuck bats, butlers, vampires, magicians, vampire magicians, ninjas, samurais, the undead-" Naruto was saying before he was cut off
"We get it!" Queen of fables yelled getting annoyed at Naruto's bull crap
"My point is the IRS is on my very short list of things I don't fuck with" Naruto said
"That's a first for you I guess" Harley snorted
"Oh Don't get your panties in a twist. I'm still the violent nutbar all the ladies love to have wreck their tight twats" Naruto said simply as he put his feet up on the desk
"Feet on the ground or I'll have the IRS auditing you until you're old and Grey!" Queen of Fables said with a threatening tone of voice
"I'm putting my feet down but not because you told me to." Naruto said taking his feet off her desk
"Well at least you won't have to put up with people's taxes once you're freed huh Fables. We still gonna do our weekly coffees once you're out?" Harley asked curiously
"If I'm not too busy getting my fuck on sure" Fables said before the two villainesses laughed
"You know if you want someone for help with that" Naruto said with a smirk
"Not with a thousand condoms" Fables deadpanned
"Oh so there's a number now?" Naruto smirked at this
"Ignoring the man whore here, what's the update with the legion of doom?" Fables asked Harley ignoring Naruto
"Nada. Same As last Week" Harley explained with a annoyed tone
"Same here too. I'm running out of room for all the acceptance letters and I'm getting sick of turning them all to dust" Naruto said with a scowl of annoyance
"I still don't understand why the legion would want you over Me" Harley said as she scowled at Naruto
"Body count and the fact that I have information on certains heroines since I give them a piping on the regular" Naruto said simply
"Can't you go one day without being perverted?" Harley asked with an annoyed tone
"This coming from you when you love when I'm balls deep in your ass and pulling on your pigtails while you squeal like a-" Naruto was saying before Harley elbowed him in his dick
"Oh god! That was the left testicle!" Naruto groaned falling to the floor
"So Fables, who do I have to blow up to get into the legion?" Harley asked ignoring Naruto's pain
"I'd say Jim in accounting but that's because he pays his taxes in pennies" Fables said "in all seriousness though find what the legion wants most and get it for yourself" Fables explained "Alright you two get going. I have a two o'clock with an independent contractor who keeps his receipts in a fuckin' ALF lunchbox" Fables told them
"Sure thing. See you when you get out. Let's go Overhaul" Harley said grabbing Naruto and dragging him out as he held his groin
"Your ass is so getting rammed for this!" Naruto yelled out
"So like normal then?" Harley asked with a smirk as she smacked her ass for emphasis
"I meant with no lube" Naruto growled out
"Ooooo kinky" Harley said smirking challengingly at Naruto
"Oh it's fucking on!" Naruto yelled with a mad grin before he leapt from the ground and pounced on Harley bringing her to the floor
"Hey not in my building dammit! You two wanna fuck go fuck in the street for all I care but not here!" Fables yelled
"Fine! Come on let's role play a pimp and his hoe in the back alley!" Naruto said before lifting Harley over his shoulders and carrying her out
"Am I the hoe or you?" Harley asked smirking
"Oh it's fucking on! Fuck con 4!" Naruto yelled as he destroyed a wall and left through it before repairing it
"please like he's that good" Fables said with a scoff of disbelief
"AH! FUCK YEAH! RAIL ME YOU HUNG MOTHERFUCKER!" Harleys screams echoed from the alleyway behind Fables Office
"Huh. I'll be damned" Fables muttered
(A day later the mall)
"And so 3 buildings were destroyed yesterday afternoon killing 30 people with the witnesses to the scene filming a nude Overhaul and Harley Quinn engaging in coitus before fleeing the scene" a reporter announced
"Who's your pimp?!" Naruto shouted over the footage as he rammed into Harley from behind
"Ah! You are pimp daddy Overhaul!" Harley yelled out a mad grin on her face as Naruto smacked her ass and pulled on her pigtails
"Oh god!" Harley groaned out from the couch seeing the footage being reported
"and thus we end another showing of as the manwhore turns" psycho said as he changed the channel
"Oh please. You act like Harley's the only villainess or heroine I was caught fucking on the news with" Naruto snickered
"You mean like the time you got fucking Zatanna during her magic show?" King Shark asked as he typed on a laptop
"Or your rendezvous with Silver Banshee in that graveyard a month ago?" Clayface asked
"Or the time you fucked Powergirl and Supergirl on top of the daily planet" Ivy deadpanned
"Ah that was great the boy scout was so mad I was railing his cousins at his place of work." Naruto smirked
"He works there?" Clayface asked surprised
"Well that's the rumor and he showed up after I finished pissed so I'm assuming the rumor is true" Naruto said with a smile hiding the fact he knew supes identity. Because anyone can goddamn figure it out.
"My chance at joining the legion is ruined" Harley groaned
"Bitch you act like I haven't fucked most of the sluts in the legion in public scenarios now calm your tits and tell us what we're stealing to get your fine ass in the legion of doom" Naruto said knowing Harley probably had an idea for a hiest
Harley took a breath "ok many legion members have gone after this. Grood, Bane, Sinestro, even Joker and they all failed to get this" Harley said grabbing Shark's laptop before showing something "Kord Industries Weather Machine" Harley said showing off the item in question
"Bitchin I'll round up my elite sluts to help" Naruto said before pulling out his phone "Hey Komi get Ultra tits and Super whore we got a heist to do!" Naruto ordered into the phone
"If none of them could steal it, that seems like a pretty good indicator that we should not try" Shark said to Harley
"Fuck that! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!" Naruto yelled
"Well said ya manwhore!" Harley said with a smile "when we succeed the legion will be so furious they'll have to notice us. And I mean all of us not just Overhaul there" Harley said gesturing to Naruto who was on the phone
"Whaddya mean Kano doesn't have the drugs I ordered? Damn that one eyed son of a bitch! Look I don't care what fighting tournament he's going to he owes me those damn drugs! Ok fine Just bring your fine asses back here for the heist. You three fly faster than bullets. I'm sure you can make it back fast enough for this weather machine heist tomorrow. Good. See you three soon tell Kano he better have my drugs soon!" Naruto ordered "good news Ultragirl, Superwoman, and Blackfire will be here to help with the heist for tomorrow" Naruto said hanging up the phone
"Good that will go well with The recon I sent Clayface to do earlier" Harley said nodding at this
"My character was a sassy Divorcee named Brenda" Clayface said shifting into said character
"Huh I think I fucked a chick in front of her husband that looked like that" Naruto said as he rubbed his chin in thought
"Do we have to Listen to the unnecessary backstory thing?" Psycho asked before Clayface cut him off
"You see Brenda is just getting back in the dating game for the first time in a while, and she's decided to get adult braces" Clayface said forming braces on her teeth
"Oh God" Psycho groaned out as he pinched his nose
"I know what you're thinking, it's a little expensive on a secretary's salary, but no! You can't put a price on a smile! So she threw caution to the wind-" Clayface was saying before he was cut off
"Clayface! Intel!" Harley demanded reaching her limit
Clayface sighed before returning to normal and morphing his hand into a model of the room where the weather machine is being kept
"The machine is being protected by one thousand-ish lasers. According to head scientist Jerome Stansfield, who may or may not be heartbroken when Brenda does not show up to work Tomorrow" Clayface explained
"How are we ever gonna get past a thousand-ish lasers?!" King Shark asked as he found the idea crazy
"Already thought of that. Psycho?" Harley asked to the diminutive telepath beside her to explain the plan
"S.T.A.R. labs created a personal force field device that deflects energy." Psycho said pulling out some blueprints for the S.T.A.R. labs building floor plan "problem is the only way to get into the room is through an air duct four inches wide. I don't know how the hell we're gonna do that" Psycho said
"We can always cover you in butter and shove you through it" Naruto said with a smirk
"Eat a dick manwhore!" Psycho yelled back
"I prefer pie or tuna. More specifically your exes sweet sweet tuna" Naruto said smirking
"I'll kill you!" Psycho yelled before attempting to run at Naruto while Shark and Clayface held him back
"Will you both shut the hell up?! I'm trying to watch the news!" Ivy yelled sitting on the couch
"Oh shit! Harley! The news is talking about that book you love!" Frank yelled from next to Ivy on the couch
"Oh Clive Cussler's Sahara?" Hatley asked as she stood up and made her way over to the couch
"Clive Cus- no Queen of Fables" Ivy said baffled at Harley's question before she corrected her
"Oh that's right she's getting out today" Harley said happily
"We are bringing you live to the courtroom where Queen of Fables is being released from her tax book prison of 30 years" Tawni said on screen as the camera showed live footage of Zatanna standing in the middle of the courtroom holding said book as she channeled magic through her fingers into the book as pages started to turn on their own. As she swung her arm upwards the Queen of Fables came out of the book in a cloud of pink smoke and gold glitter she had e cup breasts, a curvy body, and a plump round ass
"Oh yeah! Damn! Feels good to get out of those pages" Fables said happily as she floated above the ground before she descended next to Zatanna "Thanks Zatanna. Thanks judge. See ya" Fables said before she made her way towards an exit only to be blocked off by security guards from leaving "whoa! What the- watch the robe!" Fables demanded "you said you were gonna release me!" She demanded of the judge
"I did. From the tax code. But you're hereby sentence to serve the remainder of your time in Arkham Asylum" the judge ordered with a bang of his gavel
"Oh fuck you! You senile old fuck wad!" Fabled yelled as she was being dragged away
"What?! That's bullshit!" Harley yelled "somebody's gotta do something!"
"Yeah! She's way hotter then the pictures showed she will get passed around for cigarettes while in Arkham!" Naruto yelled at this
Everyone looked at Naruto with flat looks at this before Ivy slapped him in the back of the head
"Oh please you know I ain't wrong" Naruto said scoffing at them all
"She's been stuck in that book for thirty years!" Harley yelled her attention back on Fables situation
"Haha. Yeah cause she tried to and almost succeeded to destroy Gotham" Ivy snorted as she shook her head
"Yeah, I think it was a lack of affordable housing that destroyed Gotham but, look, Fables has been a mentor to me. She just gets a bad rap" Harley said
"Look I'm obviously not pro Arkham, but if there was any person who definitely belongs there, Queen of Fables is at the top of that list" Ivy said
"Oh I got knocked down the list?" Naruto asked with a grin at Ivy
"No you're still on it" Ivy deadpanned
"Please, you would break me out within a weekend. You can't quit me my rose" Naruto said with a smirk at Ivy
Ivy froze at this before she looked at Naruto with a look at this not sure how to feel about this pet name
"Rose?" Psycho asked snorting "what kind of stupid pet name is that"
"Better than Giganta calling you tattoo" Naruto said smirking
"Ha! De plane! De plane!" Frank yelled before laughing at this along with Naruto
"You're dead!" Psycho yelled at Naruto while being held back by Shark and Clayface again
"My point is that Fables has it comin- and she's gone" Ivy Deadpanned seeing Harley was gone
"Yeah while the midget was being held back her and Naruto left. She didn't hear jack shit on what you said" Frank said laughing
"You're usually more alert Ivy. Did him calling you his rose actually get to you?" Clayface asked curiously
"Drop it mud stain" Ivy said glaring at clayface who quickly shut up
(Streets of Gotham)
A black van drove down the streets of Gotham towards Arkham Asylum with Queen of Fables cuffed in the back, a Hannibal lecter style mask around her face
"Let me out you rent a cops or I swear I'll turn you all into chew toys for my pets!" Fables growled out to the two cops sitting on their phones in front of her
"Ooh I'm so scared of the 3 blind mice attacking us" one cop scoffed
Suddenly the truck shook and stopped
"What the fuck man?" one of the cops yelled as he looked up front and saw that the entire front of the truck was impaled by stone spikes and the driver was impaled through his eyes by said spikes.
The back door of the escort van suddenly fell to dust revealing Overhaul and Harley Quinn in front of the two living cops
"Sup Fables. Nice tits" Naruto said smirking under his mask as he stepped inside the truck
"Don't move Overhaul and Quinn" the cops yelled pulling out their pistols
"Oh no my one weakness small guns!" Naruto yelled in fake fear before he grabbed one of the cops head with his left hand and he turned to dust
"S-stay back freak!" The other cop said terrified
"Oh are you gonna pee yourself? Then let me give you some advice before you die. In the case of guns and dicks. Size does matter" Naruto said before he grabbed him by his throat and splattered him across the wall
"Well I'll be damned" Fables said impressed at this show of brutality
"Aw I couldn't leave you behind" Harley said as she freed Fables from her restraints
"And I just like to kill things" Naruto said as he eyed Fable's outfit. Specifically her tits and legs while she went and grabbed her Fairy tale book
"Oh for fucks sake I told you I'm not interested! I'm not swerving with you, I'm not gonna swerve a jump, I'm not hollering at you, I'm not your shorty or your boo!" Fables yelled seeing Naruto was checking her out as she started turning pages in her book
"Oh my god are you summoning Candyman?! I don't play that shit!" Naruto yelled as he looked around in a panic
"You are such a moron" Harley said with a flat tone at Naruto not knowing street slang
"Ah here we go!" Fables said with a grin as she found the right page in her book
"Nope! I'm gone! See you two fine ass bitches later!" Naruto yelled running away not wanting to face candyman
"…is he really that good a fuck or is he just your rebound lay?" Fables asked Harley curiously as she wondered what made Harley put up with the unstable Overhaul
"...He's really fucking good" Harley said after a moment but not answering further as the two walked after Overhaul
(Mall later)
As the crew was milling about, Naruto suddenly burst through the doors running "must avoid candyman! Quick to the bedroom!" Naruto yelled grabbing Ivy and slinging her over his shoulders
"What the fuck?!" Ivy yelled before she was dragged off to Naruto's bedroom
"I'm not summoning Candyman you racist idiot!" Fables yelled as her and Harley entered the mall
"Hey I'm not racist! I plow plenty of chicks of different ethnicities and species!" Naruto yelled back still holding Ivy on his shoulders
"Put me down you moron!" Ivy yelled before she used her powers to grab Naruto with her vines and pull him up into the ceiling dropping ner
"No! Don't let the vines do things to me! I'm not a Japanese schoolgirl! " Naruto yelled as he was pulled up to the ceiling
"... anyway everyone meet Queen of Fables!" Harley said as she introduced Fables who stood next to her "she agreed to help us break into S.T.A.R. Labs tomorrow" Harley said "so yeah I'm gonna need you to pull something around four inches tall from your storybook" Harley said to Fables
"You can't use the midget?" Fables asked with a smirk at psycho
"ahahahaha! I love that woman!" Naruto yelled from up in the ceiling
"Fuck off you cunt" Psycho said flatly not amused at all
"Anyways yeah I can get you something. Not sure how Prince Charming's dick will help you though" Fables said to Harley
"Kind of low hanging fruit. Not even trying" Psycho said boredly
"I give it a 7 out of 10" Naruto said "but only because she has nice tits"
"You call that a compliment whiskers?" Fables asked with an annoyed tone as she looked up at Naruto
"Would you prefer I called you dump truck booty?" Naruto asked Smirking "Cause I can do both" he said
"You must have no fear or a death wish whiskers" Fables said with a glare
"eh 50/50" King Shark said as he waved his hand In the air
"Death is my bitch!" Naruto yelled out as he swung from the ceiling
"Is this a metaphorical bitch?" Clayface asked confused on what he was talking about
"I mean literally my bitch! The original goth loves me baby! She can't get enough of me!" Naruto yelled
"... yeah ignore him. I have no idea what he's on" Harley said to Fables
"I'm on the same weed Frank sells you fat ass!" Naruto yelled
"What about your other drugs?" Ivy deadpanned
"My L.S.D is out until Kano gets me more now let me down dammit!" Naruto yelled
Ivy rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers
"Not that way damn it!" Naruto yelled before he fell and slammed into the floor hard as the vines dropped him
"Ooh that looked like it hurt" Clayface said wincing at this
"I'll be fine as soon as I get a stacked bitch riding me" Naruto said from the floor
"So you can pull any story book character out of your book?" Shark asked walking up to Fables
"Sure can. Who's your favorite?" She asked opening her book
"Oh I'm partial to humpty dumpty" Shark said before Fables summoned Humpty Dumpty before them on the couch
"Oh hi everybody!" Humpty greeted waving at everyone
"Let's make an omelet!" Naruto yelled standing up holding an egg whisk and a pan
"What? But he's adora-Ahhhh!" Shark screamed seeing Fables smash him with her staff
"He makes the best eggs" she said before starting to stir the eggs inside of Humpty's body
Naruto looked at Fables with wide eyes at this "dear satan I think I'm in love" Naruto said as he smirked at her
"Please" Fables said with a tsk at this
"Oh Great you recruited his spirit animal" Psycho said with a groan at Harley
"Hey she's not that bad" Harley said frowning at this comparison
"Hey! Where's the booze in this shithole?!" Fables demanded
"Top shelf babe!" Naruto said with a smile
"Don't call me - is that top quality stuff from the Penguin's private storage?!" Fables asked with a grin
"Damn Right! Stole it from him after I nailed those sexy assistants of his in his office. Left them on his desk dripping cum while I made off with his shit" Naruto said smirking "that reminds me I gotta check with Gsptlsnz on their next appointment" Naruto mused in thought "where is she anyways?" Naruto asked
"She said something about your next appointment and went out" Shark said with a shrug
"Can we just plan this heist before I have you fixed?!" Harley yelled at Naruto while taking out her bat for emphasis
"Fine, fine keep your shorts on….. although actually" Naruto grinned before Harley threw her bat at his face "Gah! No my face! My precious modeling career!" Naruto yelled in pain as he held his head while the others all made plans for the heist
(S.T.A.R labs the next day)
Near a public park was a large sewer tunnel leading to S.T.A.R. labs itself. The crew, including an arriving Blackfire, Ultragirl, and Superwoman, stood outside the tunnel waiting for Fables to help them out
"Wow you actually have heavy hitters on this team though I don't recognize the wannabe Wonder Woman and Power Girl" Fables said looking at them
"Dump truck booty meet Ultra Juggs and Super Whore" Naruto said with a smirk before Harley smacked him in the back of the head with her bat
"No insulting the help!" Harley yelled at Naruto
"I wasn't! They get off on me calling them that!" Naruto exclaimed holding his head
"I don't you moron now let me work!" Fables yelled as she opened her book and summoned a mouse
"Aww he's precious but are you sure Cinderella's mouse is up for the job?" King Shark asked curiously
The mouse looked at King Shark before donning a french mercenary styled outfit and vest before pulling out a cigarette, lighting it, smoking nearly the entire stick in one puff, and flicked the bud at Shark's face
"That answer your question?" Fables asked smirking
"Actually yes. But it also brings up a lot of other questions" Shark responded
"Yeah well for now let her work" Harley said as she smiled at Fables
"Let's go folks" Fables ordered as the crew started making their way into the giant sewer tunnel. Only for a soccer ball to randomly roll and bump Harley in her leg making her, Overhaul, and Fables pause while the others went on ahead
"The hell?" Harley asked as a man came out from some bushes and looked at the assembled villains, and grabbed the ball before quickly walking away.
"I think I fucked that guy's girlfriend once" Naruto said making Harley again take a swing at him with her bat
"Focus!" Harley ordered before the pushed open the bushes a bit to see a large group of people having a massive barbecue in the park
"Welcome to the Praxis Family Reunion?" Naruto read with a quirked eyebrow
"Shit it looks like that guy ratted us out" Harley groaned seeing the man with the ball talking to some cops "I'm calling off the mission" Harley said as she knew when to pull back from a job
"Relax. I'll handle this" Fables said as she shook her head
"Really?" Harley asked curiously
"Sure. You all do your thing. I'll keep em busy" Fables said walking forward with her book in hand "who likes fairy tales?" She asked with a smile
"See I told Ivy she wasn't so bad" Harley smiled "Let's go" she said to Naruto
"Alright lead the way sexy" Naruto said with a grin following behind Harley
(A few minutes later)
"We got it!" Clayface exclaimed as the crew ran out the sewer back towards the park
"Fables we have it, let's go– oh my god!" Harley yelled wide eyed at the sight before them.
It was a bloodbath. Bone and bodies littering the ground with blood splattered everywhere. Fables was sitting at a table with a large black wolf next to her eating what looked like the remains of a victim.
"Wow she's very thorough" Superwoman said with a smirk at this while Ultragirl nodded in agreement
"Dear satan I think I really do love that crazy bitch" Naruto said grinning at this
"Really dude?! don't you have any limits?!" Psycho yelled at Naruto at this
"I won't touch Bug chicks. And I don't mean like wings or something I mean like face of a fly type of deal." Naruto said getting some looks "long story involving a guy named Craig and his wife" Naruto said just getting weird looks
"What the fuck Fables?!" Harley yelled as she approached her friend
"I Didn't do anything. Credit here goes to the Big Bad Wolf" Fables said smirking gesturing to the wolf next to her
"Sound reasoning" Naruto said with a nod at this
"Zip it you idiot!" Harley yelled at Naruto before she turned back to Fables "why did you do this?" She asked
"You saw that guy ratting us out. So I killed that guy. Then everyone saw me kill that guy so I killed everyone. You gotta end the bloodline to prevent any revenge killing later. That's like evil 101" Fables said explaining herself
"Yup sounds about right to me" Naruto said with a nod along with Blackfire, Superwoman and Ultragirl
"Uh I taught that class at Boston College and we never covered anything this fucked up" Psycho said gesturing to the carnage around them
"Anyways everyone take a look around, make sure I got everyone" Fables said waving her hand dismissively at the group
Harley looked around and saw what looked to her like a little girl with a ponytail hiding under a table.
"Are we good?" Fables asked from her table
"Yup everyone's dead" Harley said with a smile
"Ok good. Let me grab the three little pigs to clean this mess up" Fables said summoning the 3 little pigs
"Aww they're so cu- holy Shark Jesus!" King Shark yelled seeing the pigs devour the remaining corpses and bones
(The mall after the heist)
"You know they never tell you how hard it is to get brain out of your cape" Fables said picking out bits of brain from her red cape
"That's why I don't wear one. On top of the whole getting it stuck in things" Naruto said simply from his seat at a table
"I'm not sure how to feel about this comrades" Clayface said with a frown
"Oh come on so she is going a little Gung ho with the no witnesses thing I say it's about time we had another hard core villain like me" Naruto said with a bored tone as he ate from a instant ramen cup
"Thank you whiskers at least you have the right attitude even if your eating habits suck" Fables said with a smile at Naruto before she scowled a little as Naruto slurped up the last of his ramen and finished it
Narutos eyes widened at this before he clenched his fists and decayed the ramen cup "FUCK YOU YA CUNT!" he bellowed out at her his voice echoing throughout the mall
"Woah Naruto take it easy" Harley said placatingly to him
"No one insults the glory that is ramen and gets away with it!" Naruto yelled as he stood up and flipped the table sending it flying across the room
"The fuck you call me you whiskered bastard?!" Fables yelled glaring at him
"You heard me, you sad excuse for a storyteller! Why don't I make you a bit more like the little mermaid and decay your legs from your body" He growled his eyes flashing blood red before some vines separated the two of them
"Calm the hell down!" Ivy ordered the two
"Like hell I will!" Naruto yelled as the vines around him started to decay without him even placing his hands on them
"Yeah stay out of this you sad excuse for an eco terrorist! You give us villains a good name!" Fables yelled
"First you insult ramen and now Ivy? I'll fucking gut you with a fish" Naruto yelled as he cracked his knuckles
"Don't you want to and I quote clap those cheeks an hour ago?" Frank asked with a flat tone as he made air quotes
"And I still do so right now my libido is at war with my rage!" Naruto yelled before suddenly a portal opened up underneath him "ah Craaaaaaapppppp!" He yelled before it closed
"Well seems like I arrived before he did something stupid again" Gsptlsnz said coming through the door
"And who the fuck are- oh fuck me!" Fables was saying before she jumped back at seeing Gsptlsnz
"I don't recognize you, have we met?" Gsptlsnz asked Fables with a curious tone
"No but I know your husband and what your kind is capable of. You have one of them on your team?!" Fables yelled at Harley
"Uh Gsptlsnz isn't technically on the team she's well" Harley was trying to come up with something to say
"She's the manwhore's pimp after he left her husband for him" Psycho explained flatly
Gsptlsnz snapped her fingers at Psycho and his mouth fused shut making him attempt to yell in shock but it was muffled
"Now you have a problem with my beloved?" Gsptlsnz asked Fables with a glare
"Beloved? A woman of your power and you bow to that moron?" Fables asked baffled
"Moron?" Gsptlsnz asked dangerously
The rest of the group groaned at this and quickly moved away from Fables so they weren't in Gsptlsnz way as she approached
"Listen you pathetic little tramp, my beloved is a being far beyond yours and even my comprehension. He is not even close to the peak of his true power. You are not fit to stand in his presence. You are not fit to even kneel in his presence unless your tongue is working over his glorious shaft" Gsptlsnz told Fables as she walked closer and closer
Fables glared at Gsptlsnz before she scoffed and laughed in a mocking way "wow you are pathetic. I guess power can't give you pride eh red?" Fables asked
Gsptlsnz glare deepened at this before she snapped her fingers causing what looked like a burning portal to appear behind Fables
"What the hell is this?" Fables asked looking at the portal
"Your new home. Enjoy it" Gsptlsnz growled before she kicked Fables through the portal before tossing her book through the portal after her and closed the portal
"Well that's one way to avoid a fight" Ivy said with a sigh relieved that this didn't end with a big fight
"indeed" Gsptlsnz said before she snapped her fingers and in a flash of light Naruto fell out of the sky and landed on the ground
"Gah! You know I hate that shit gspy!" Naruto yelled as he shook his head feeling dizzy
"Uh…. where is she now?" Clayface asked
"I'll tell you where she's not. Safe." Gsptlsnz responded simply before a blonde man suddenly burst through the ceiling of the mall Shooting Lightning
"Where is the Queen Of Fables?!" He demanded
"Who's this clown?" Naruto asked standing up from the floor
"I am Jason Praxis!" He exclaimed "now where is she?!" He demanded
"Oh goddammit she missed one of the witnesses. Alright come closer and I'll tell you where she is" Naruto said to the man
"Don't toy with me you whiskered bastard I'll gladly kill everyone here if i- Gah!" He was saying
Before Naruto grabbed his face with his decay hand "I don't know where she is but unfortunately for you I don't share prey. So do me a favor. When you get to hell tell Lucifer I said hello" Naruto said before decaying the man to ashes
"You do realize that's not fun to clean up right?" Ivy asked looking at the dust left behind after Naruto decayed the man
"would you rather I leave him in a blood splatter with my other hand?" Naruto asked with a raised eyebrow
Ivy said nothing to this as she knew he had a point
(With Fables)
Fables groaned as she stood up from wherever the hell she was sent to. She looked and saw her book sitting in some sand
"Alright where the hell did that crazy skank send me?" Fables asked, looking around and seeing only sand and rocks. A massive barren wasteland from what it looked like. Fables looked unimpressed however
"Is this the best she could send me to? What a joke" she scoffed before she heard loud roars and saw what looked like a group of 6 humanoids. Only their mouths were large, razor sharp, monstrous teeth and protruding from their arms were long blades.
"What the fuck are you guys?" Fables asked as she quickly opened her book and summoned the big bad wolf and the three little pigs
"We are the Tarkata Earthrealmer! And you are a long way from home! We have fresh meat once more!" The lead Tarkatan yelled as they all screamed a war cry and rushed ather
"Where the fuck did that red hair Psycho send me?!" Fables yelled as the tarkata attacked and her fairy tail creatures attacked back.