Chapter 5 Dylan
I lumbered into the loft: the open-plan office was where I spent a large portion of time. The Starsmoon kept a complex of buildings here in which to manage our various businesses.
We ran a diverse range of trades, which allowed our community to be autonomous and sustain us. We managed a few farms, a large amount of forestry, and a timber and silage business. All of these things required day- to-day admin tasks.
Yet, I couldn't focus on the dozen or so tasks that had racked up because all I could think about washer.
Cherry.
And the spectacular mess I'd made of things. I hadn't thought it could get any worse than playing house and being trapped in a life I didn't want. Well, it could. And it had. Through drunken sex, and my life had reached the breaking point.
I swept a hand tiredly across my face, still feeling groggy from the party two nights' ago. I didn't usually drink much. A beer or two with Bert or the other guys in the pack was usually the limit. Whereas at the party, I remembered downing mouthful after mouthful of champagne right from the bottle.
And then, everything went blank.
Well, not a complete blank. Last night, fragmented memories had returned from the blackness: to torment me. Flashes of smooth skin, the echo of moans, the feel of juicy lips, hot breath, and the memory of my wolf rising in me, telling me to claim her.
My thoughts skittered confusedly, wishing I hadn't got drunk, wishing that Cherry had pushed me away when I'd kissed her, and wishing as ever that I could change the life I was stuck in.
Going to the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. Draining half, I ambled back to find Bert had arrived for the day.
"Mornin'," my Beta chimed, shrugging off his jacket. "You look like shit."
I huffed a laugh, collapsing in my chair. "Feel like it, mate." I hoped he'd leave events from the weekend there, but, of course, he didn't.
"Shitty cos of the hangover, or because you're still in the dog-house with Cherry?"
I exhaled heavily, my flinty gaze doing nothing to get my Beta, who'd taken his seat opposite, off my back. Bert clasped his hands underneath his chin and waited. I knew he wouldn't let up until he'd gotten it out of me. When it came to Cherry and me, he was like a dog with a bone. I supposed it was because he was a good friend to us both. It was natural that he cared about us.
And he was right that I was in the dog-house. When Cherry had come back yesterday, she'd kept to her room, not even leaving to eat. I'd been too
ashamed to come out of my room either, only slinking out early this morning.
Bert's comment suddenly had me leaning forward. If he knew Cherry was pissed off, he must have seen her. "You've spoken to Cherry?"
Bert's ordinarily upward-tilted lips dipped down. He nodded. His blue eyes darkened like a sky with rainclouds. "Saw her yesterday leaving yours. She told me about what happened. Said that you'd told her your kiss was a drunken mistake."
My stomach twisted with guilt.
By Nuu-Chah.
Cherry had told Bert it was just a kiss, but the truth was far worse. I'd drunkenly taken her to bed. I'd had sex with her and then told her it meant nothing.
Knowing I had to own-up to what I'd done, I exhaled heavily. "It was more than a kiss. I took her to bed. We slept together."
Bert leaned back in his chair, letting out a low whistle. "I see."
His serious expression had my hackles rising. "I was drunk. I wasn't really in control. My wolf kinda took over."
"I get it," he answered, holding up his palms. "If I'd been living with a woman like Cherry, there's no way my wolf would have lasted a year without claiming her. I don't know how you've done it."
A flash of Cherry in that silver dress, with her long blonde hair spilling over her shoulders, jolted through me. My mouth went dry as a flash of that
dress hitched up around her narrow waist, exposing her curvaceous hips, and hot sex had my cock hardening.
I took a swig of water, frowning as fragments of the other night re-surfaced, making my head feel jumbled.
Bert continued, perhaps mistaking my scowl for disagreement. "Look, you're the future Alpha of Starsmoon, Dylan. And Cherry, she's destined to be the future Luna. That means you belong together. It's just part of who you are. A fact. Don't you think you should listen to what your wolf clearly knows? Given how you wanted her the other night when your instincts took over, doesn't it make sense that you are meant for each other?"
That word meant had me bristling again. I didn't think such an important decision like being with someone for the rest of your life should be something I had no say over. Restlessness had me cracking my knuckles, and I wanted to kill the conversation. "It's too early to talk about destiny, Bert. How about you get us a cup of joe instead?"
In true Bert fashion, my Beta persisted, "Look, even if you don't do it because it's good for you, think about it for Cherry's sake. She's smart and loyal. The pack will be lucky to have her as their Luna one day."
My expression hardened, my jaw clenching in warning. Bert was taking this too far. He was my Beta. He was getting dangerously close to telling me what to do. Part of me wanted him to overstep the mark. The tension building in me liked the idea of having an outlet. Suddenly, my Beta was looking like a good target.
Bert held up his palms, my anger calming, and the gesture soothing my wolf in a similar way to how it felt when my pack crouched in respect.
"Two cups of coffee comin' up," Bert said. But before he left the room, he added, "Just remember, it's not only yourself you're hurting by denying your path."
I stiffened, feeling the weight of guilt settle on my shoulders. I didn't dislike Cherry. But I couldn't stand this feeling of being trapped in something I hadn't chosen. I was a fucking Alpha, for Nuu-Chah's sake. I gave the orders. I drummed my fingers on the desk, wondering how I could ever accept this.
Then, a flash of Cherry, looking at me with her grey eyes, almost silver like the dress she'd worn the other night, shot through me. The memory of her gaze on me with such meaning, although it still caused my stomach to knot, also fired a note of desire through me. Maybe, just maybe, our path would bring us together. Maybe with time, I could grow to accept her.
When Bert brought me my much-needed caffeine hit, I fired up the laptop, and my tasks engulfed me. The day flew by, and when I returned home with the dusk, it was with anticipation. I'd resolved to talk to Cherry: to try to patch things up for the sake of the future. For the sake of what we might be to each other given time.
I expected to find Cherry shut in her room but was surprised as I wandered into the living-room to find her sitting cross-legged on the floor in the center. She'd moved the coffee table and was sitting amidst a circle of paper. Her delicate eyebrows were scrunched together in thought as she studied the paper around her.
"Hi," I said, her surprise evident as she looked up, her lips forming a perfect "o".
Belatedly, I realized I was staring at her mouth. Thoughts about the other night were already pitching through my head. I wondered whether those lips had made a similar shape then. Echoes of her moans resounded through my thoughts. My eyes retreated to the safety of the drawings around her. "What are these?"
She hastily started to bundle them into her arms. "Nothing… Sorry, I didn't expect you back yet."
Her words swamped me with guilt as I considered how often I'd left her alone. How often had I found her waiting for me, only to retreat to my study? As she swiped at the drawings around her, I reproached myself at the fact that she clearly didn't see this space as hers if she was hurrying to tidy her things away.
"Wait a moment." I crouched down, picking up a drawing. Sketches of stylized dresses decorated the page. "Are these yours?" My gaze drifted up, and Cherry slowly nodded.
Her throat bobbed, and I realized how close I was to her and stooped down on the carpet. Her nearness prickled over me. She'd swept her long hair up into a knot, and the urge to reach out and untie it, as well as the memory of fisting those long locks, had me standing up. "These are really good, Cherry."
I watched her cheeks flush as I handed her back the drawing. Once more, my thoughts tripped to our time in bed together. Was that how her cheeks had looked? The same red hue that splashed so many of her colorful designs laid out on the carpet.
"What are you doing?" I asked, finding a distraction from my wayward thoughts.
Cherry shrugged. "I'm due to submit a portfolio for a fashion design course I've applied to for the fall. I'm going through my old college designs, choosing which ones to include."
Like a wolf hitting my flank, it struck me that I hadn't even known Cherry had studied Fashion Design or that she wanted to continue studying.
"Wow. That's amazing," I said.
A faint flush crept along her cheeks again. "I've always liked fashion design. It feels right to study for a degree in it."
I nodded, impressed at all the things she had time for: shadowing my mom in her Luna duties, looking after the house here, and keeping up with her own studies. "Can I help?" I asked.
Her eyebrows flew up. "Umm…" She bit her lip, looking awkward like she didn't know what to say. Was this because of the other night? Was she about to ask me to leave her alone?
My chest tightened at the thought of being ordered away just when I was, starting to know something about her. I interrupted, "Maybe you could do with a second opinion."
Again, her gaze skipped over my face with incredulity. Slowly, she chose two sketches, both with swatches of material stuck around the design like a collage. "Tulle or chiffon?" She asked seriously.
My dark eyes skipped between the two drawings. "A hundred percent chiffon," I kept my expression staid to hide the fact that the two materials looked the same.
But amusement rose in her eyes, and she chuckled, telling me I'd been found out.
Warmth spread through my chest, and a smile broke across my own face. "I'm not sure my particular skillset translates well to this. How about I get the artist some food instead?"
Cherry hesitated a moment, and I tensed, waiting for the second time for her to tell me to get lost.
But her mouth quirked. "I could eat."
My chest loosened with relief as she accepted my olive branch. In between setting some ramen on to boil, I watched her pouring over her work, examining her art. Bert's words came back to me: "Cherry's beautiful and loyal." I'd long known that Cherry was beautiful. With her hair up, her heart-shaped face, and her beautiful silver gaze, she would easily be the most beautiful woman in any room, and my thoughts catapulted back to how gorgeous she'd looked the other night in that silk dress.
But what I hadn't appreciated was just how beautiful her dedication was. I knew from my mom's constant praising of Cherry's helping her that she'd risen to the challenge of taking on the duties of Luna. On top of that, Cherry had been here for the last year, endeavoring to build a relationship with me. And to see that amidst all that, she'd kept up her commitment to her own studies was damn attractive too.