What is this sadness I feel? This need for warmth. I fold myself on the cold ground wrapping my slender hands around myself with my chin resting on my knees. I slowly drift into sleep.
I see a gigantic brown wolf standing in front of my house, its eyes filled with a familiar kind of warmth and pain. I open the front door and walk towards it stretching out my hand to touch its beautiful fur but it turns away from me and strides into the woods that opened up before it.
I open my eyes and realise I am still on the kitchen floor. As I pass by the living room window to pick up my bag that I had dropped earlier I see a car parked in front of my house. Isn't that Zacharys car? I question internally. I check the time on my phone and see that it is past midnight.
"Why the fuck is he still here?" I contemplate ignoring him and just going to sleep but I find it harder to walk away. The night is cold, I can't leave him out there like that. 'Are you ready to tread that road again, the road of feelings and emotions and friendship 'a voice in my head chided
"No" I reply aloud. But even i did not buy that answer. Well fuck it, whether I want to admit it or not I'm already in this so I might as well go all in.
I open the door before I found more reasons to change my mind, the night breeze bites against my exposed flesh as I step into the night. I see zachary curled up in the drivers seat, eyes closed in slumber. I knock gently on the window and he opens his eyes, he has always been a light sleeper like me. He opens the door and steps out looking around him carefully.
"Why are you outside, its late" he asks
"I should be asking you that. What are you doing parked in front of my house, I could call the cops on you" I respond folding my hands on my chest. He ignores my question and walks over to me
"You're going to catch a cold, go inside"
"What about you" I ask stubbornly not moving an inch
"I'll be fine in my car"
"Why are you here is what I mean" I huff arrogantly trying to sound unbothered
"I just want to make sure you're fine, I won't bother you" he says ignoring my act, he knows it's all an act, he must know. I turn to leave but my heart tugs me towards him.
"How will you know if I'm fine from out here" I ask trying to still sound unconcerned looking everywhere but at him.
"Come in" I invite and then quickly walk into the house. I see him smile widely from the corner of my house as he follows me inside happily. I bolt the door locked.
"You can sleep here" I say pointing to the couch. I know I want him in my bedroom, I want to feel his hands around me...
"Hope you won't kick me out in the morning again" he says playfully,
My face turns red in embarrassment as the events of last Friday play in my head, I turn my face away.
"I have not been able to get it out of my head" he says his eyes dancing with excitement
"I will kick you out right now if you don't shut up" I say roughly, my voice betraying my true emotions.