A figure stops in front of me blocking my veiw, I don't need to look up to know that its Jessica.
She bends down and hugs me giving me a peck on the lips. I am wary of her but she has been a really good friend to me so I always let her have her way.
She leans into me and whispers,
"Hope she didn't kick you out today? Well even if she did atleast you went with your car this time". We all laugh at her joke remembering how I had to walk a long distance the last time before Andre showed up.
I see Annah get up from her sit, I see the anger burning In her. She walks over to us and pushes Jessica away from me causing her to stumble backwards. Shock is an understatement for how we all felt. I stand up and hold her hand before she decides to do something else.
"Is everything okay?" I ask stupidly for lack of a better question.
How can I not know what is going on?
The mate pull heightens certain emotions like anger, jealousy and sexual feelings.
Jessica standing so close to me must have triggered it.
"I just don't want her close to you" she replies looking down at her feet.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Jessica bellows.
Savannah turns to me calmly ignoring a very angry Jessica
"Can we talk outside?" I nod and follow her out the door.
"I think I like you" she says immediately we get into my car.
Her deliciously plump lips pouting a little as she makes her confession.
Every part of my body is singing for joy, She likes me, that's what she just said.
"But I hate the idea" she continues
My brows furrow at her next words.
"Hate what idea?" I ask disappointment and the fear of rejection lacing my tone
"The idea of liking you, I hate it" she says sorrowfully looking at her fingers
"Why?" I ask even though a part of me already knew the answer.
"I hate it because you make me remember everything I wish to forget "
I put my hands on hers and she pulls away.
"Do you like me?" She finally let's her eyes rest on mine
"Like is an understatement for what I feel for you. I love you Savannah "
I try to hold her hands again, at this point my emotions are starting to show. What can I do to make her see me?
"So why did you spend so much time beating me up, is that how you show your love?"
I feel the words covering my face as it leaves her mouth. It strikes me in the lower abdomen and I wince in superfluous pain. I deserve this, I deserve all of her hatred, I was an egotistical idiot.
"You have every right to hate me. Fuck, I hate me. I hate everything I did to you and I'll spend the rest of my life regretting it" .
Regret doesn't come close to what I feel, Shame and disgust is more adept but still not exact, I don't deserve her.
"I don't deserve you. I spent so much time being angry at you for not wanting me around when the truth has always been that I don't deserve you" . My voice breaks and close my eyes tightly looking away from her to hide the tears.
I look back at her opening my eyes.
The sorrow I see in her eyes shatters me more, I am not worth such an emotion, I'm simply not.