My heart tears through the middle when I hear her voice. I'm hoping hard that she won't cause a scene seeing me here with Haz.
As soon as she steps into the light, I look at her and then at Haz, trying to contemplate the way forward. I don't like the look on Haz's face though.
"What are you doing here Lynn?" I ask trying to figure out her mind, maybe I'm just suspecting her for no reason.
"I was just taking a stroll and saw you there." She replies, looking Haz up and down. "Good then, you may continue on your way." I tell her. "But, Ree can't you come with me." She says, whining, pretending not to see Haz who is just standing there watching the whole ordeal unfold.
"Ree? You are Reign?" Haz suddenly comes out of her trance. Tears start collecting, and pooling in her blues. It hits me, I never told her my real name, I wonder how she feels right now.
"Yuhh, his name is Reign. Do you think he'd tell that to every pass time chick he hooks up with." Lynn scowls, I bet I hate her more for this. "Can you please just shut up Lynn." I say, losing control over my emotions. They are spilling in every direction. Rage towards Lynn and guilt towards Haz.
Haz gathers her dress and struts away, her shoulders jerking, omG, she can't be crying. I hate that Lynn is right. I did treat her like a one night stand.
I run after her, Lynn's voice echoeing after me, "Buy your girlfriend shoes and one day she will run away from you!" Her voice laced with mockery. I ignore her and run towards my priority.
I catch up with her in the parking lot. Her back is towards me and her shoulders are still jerking, a sight that breaks my heart.
"Haz." My voice comes out cracked and she doesn't move so I try again. "Haz, can we please talk, I'll explain." This time she raises her head and says, "Go away." without looking my way.
I know I have to persist, I can't lose her before she is even mine and that too for something as light as this.
"Haz please, can we find somewhere to sit and talk." I plead with her looking around, the parking lot is the most inappropriate place to be having this conversation.
She sniffles and nods. Relief washes over me at that small gesture. I take her hand and lead her to my car. We drive to the Star diner, a few miles from the Diamond hall.
I thought of going outside the city but the tension in this car is unbearable. The air is so thick it's almost tangible.
I clear my throat as soon as we take our seats in a corner booth overlooking the parking lot. I'm struggling for words because for the first time I have to explain myself to someone while trying not to lose them.
"Two is my stage name." I begin, looking straight at her face for any reaction, I get non, so I continue. "I usually sing in the up and coming artists concerts that's probably why you didn't know me." She lifts her head slightly and peeks at me through her lashes.
"My name is Reign. Reign Richards." I earn myself a smile– progress, I release a sign of relief. "I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself properly from the start." I apologise meekly. 'Please I can't lose her please', I'm screaming in my head.
"I wasn't entirely honest myself." She starts, her first words since we got here. "My name is not Haz – or Hazel." She continues, her eyes cast down and her fingures tracing imaginary circles on the table.
"My actual name is..." "Can I take your order." A waitress says smiling down at us, interrupting Haz's statement. "Umm yes, just a moment." I say, picking up the menu booklet.
"We will have Irish coffee please." I say, slapping the booklet back down having ordered for Haz as well. "Is that all?" The waitress enquires. I dismiss her with a nod.
I turn my attention to Haz or whatever her name is going to be and ask, "You were saying?" She raises her head and looks into my eyes, hers reflecting conflicting emotions, I wish I could know what she's thinking.
"Oow yuhh, I was saying Haz isn't my actual name." She replies. "We had gotten past that I say." Eager to find out her real name. She goes back to tracing circles on the table avoiding making eye contact with me.
"My actual name is – Ocean." She says with a pause in between to raise her eyes to my face. Wonder what she was looking for. I hope she didn't find any if it were something bad. "Wow, is it from your eyes?" I ask, already in love with the name.
"Ocean." I say, tasting the feel of it on my tongue, it rolls off nicely. "I love it." I say, and her eyes flatter to mine, her demeanor relaxing, I'm guessing it's from relief.
I reach for her hand, and she lets me take it into mine, "I'm sorry we started off wrongly." I say, the need to apologise taking me over strongly. She just smiles and pats my hand holding hers.
The need to ask her to be my girlfriend is gnawing on my mind, but I don't know how to say it, most of all I don't know if she'll agree. I'm trying to arrange my words in my head when the waitress interrupts my train of thoughts. She places a tray holding two mugs and two slices of chocolate cake. "We didn't order cake." I say, as soon as she sets the tray down. "It's on the house. Enjoy." She replies and struts away.
I place Haz's part in front of her and unwrap her cutlery. We dig in in a silence that's holding questions that neither of us dares to ask. I still glance at her now and again. She must have been doing the same because our eyes meet and she averts her gaze giggling– 'caught yuh' – I smile to myself.
I only have a bite of the cake, it melted deliciously on my tongue, no wonder Ocean is enjoying it. I barely eat because part of my mind is screaming at me to ask her out, the other is screaming–even louder– that I can't do it over cake and tea. I decide to go with the latter and just continue watching her savour her supper, yuhh it's way past dinner.
We are driving back to her apartment, we have said little to nothing to each other after the confession. I'm actually a bit worried that the name withholding we did might have put a strain on our once perfect relationship.
"Can I hear your songs." Ocean says, breaking the silence, taking me by surprise. "Yuh sure, why not." I reply, reaching for my dashboard screen. I scroll through my playlist until I reach my first ever song, coincidentally I titled it Ocean, and hit play.
"You are good. It's not half as bad as I was expecting." She says, teasing me. I welcome the teasing with a smile because I was starting to miss it.
We bicker back and forth until I pull up in front of her apartment. I walk her to her door and bid her farewell. Before I turn around to leave, she clears her throat loudly enough for me to sense that she had something to say.
"Thank you." She says. I cock my brow in question, waiting for her to elaborate, so she continues, "Thank you– for the evening. I had a great time." She seems to be struggling to put her words out here but I understand and so I pull her in for a hug. When I let go, she continues, "And for making me look like this." She twirls around trying to emphasize how she looks. She looks stunning, even after getting drained by the evening, it's barely showing. "Only a tiara was missing." I say, teasing her. "Otherwise you would have been princess Ocean." I continue, annunciating her name, I'm trying to make it stick in my mind and also to let her know that I have accepted it.
She throws her head back, laughing then changes her posture dramatically and did a curtsy. "Let me act like a proper princess." She says, putting a hand to her mouth and laughing cinematically. "And oow, I almost forgot, people were loving my hair. I got a tonne of compliments." She says appreciation showing in her blues.
I drive back home, after making sure she was safely inside. I can never get enough of her light humor, I will never get fed up.
I'm replaying the evening, when my mind gets stuck on her introduction to my parents. I'll have to confront my dad about his coldness towards Ocean. I wonder what was going on in his mind.
The most important thing is to find the perfect setting for me to ask Ocean out at. Right now, I'm a desert in terms of ideas.