Songs: #1 Rihanna - Lift me up #2 Alec Benjamin - Let me down slowly. (These songs came to mind while I was writing this chapter. Let me hear yours ☕)
For long shocking minutes, or probably hours, I remain in the same spot, dumbfounded. If I'm right, they will do away with me so long as I stick with Hendrix.
Or was it just a threat? It sure doesn't look like it. Beta Xavier was beyond determined to drive home his point, and I'm certain he knew he did... perfectly for a fact.
I crumble on my knees, broken. If only my fate would be rewritten if only I could have my mate by my side and not lose my kingdom.
I was groomed to know that nothing goes for nothing, but this is too much of a sacrifice... one I'm scared I can't make. I've grown so fond of Hendrix, his scent, laugh, jokes, and authority. It's like I wake up each day with the anticipation to be next to him.
And if I do reject him, I will have the pack, my papa's legacy, and forever live sadly with Dante?!
Screw him! I sob.
He and his ugly-looking papa would one day wake up to rule me, bend my life to their will, and make me their puppet, one that I can't be except for Hendrix of course.
'Natalie, you should think about this thoroughly...' For the first time, my wolf sounds confused and not selfish. Normally, she would take sides with her mate, just not today.
'I'm stuck, can't you see? I just need to breathe and escape simultaneously.'
'You don't have to be too hard on yourself, you have three days to make a wise decision.'
'I can't live unhappy forever, not like I was ever. But I don't want to let the joy that comes with Hendrix slip away...'
'I would choose him too, other than the bald, ugly, stinking...'
'Fine, let me think.' I halt her train of thought. Her selfish head is popping up and it would only mess with my equilibrium.
Luckily, I have roughly two days to be with Hendrix and make my final decision, I should spend it in his arms, for it might be the last time I will ever see him.
Wiping tears off my cheeks, I get up, dust dirt off my gown, and start my journey out of the pack house and to his.
The walk back to Hendrix's house is slow and hence longer. The threat from the elders and Beta Xavier still leaves me in a state of frenzy. And as much as I try to play tough, I feel defeated.
To think that Beta Xavier thinks I'm a clown for saying Hendrix is my true mate, the mockery on the faces of the elders, makes my stomach churn. I mean, why would I do that? Why would anyone do that and face such humiliation?
I snort.
They surely don't expect me to just give up Hendrix like that even though he isn't my mate. He's a subject for a start. I try to rationalize my act.
"Screw you, Xavier!" I scream, not minding if anyone is around to see me broken.
Sooner or later, they would see my pain and the sacrifices I make for them, not like they would know if I didn't tell them Dante isn't my mate.
Damn leadership and its shitty rules.
And then again, does Beta Xavier expect me to opt and marry the ugly and almost-looking bald son of Alpha Arthur and fuel his greed for power and selfishness? It's like asking him to forfeit his mate and marry a witch... or a vampire! I'm sure he will gladly.
For a fact, my papa wouldn't endorse it, or enable their greed for power. Otherwise, he would have sent Hendrix away long ago or given him up. If only I had paid more attention to the troubles of the pack and not been nonchalant.
'Do you know why my papa would preserve Hendrix?' I ask my wolf.
She is silent.
'Of course...' I sniff.
Tears well up in my eyes and I fight for it to not fall.
From quite a distance, I hear a familiar voice sobbing. The atmosphere doesn't seem blissful and as I approach Dr. Cain's house, it grows louder.
On the ground, is Dr. Cain, clutched in the arms of Hendrix as he applies pressure to his bleeding chest. He appears to have been stabbed multiple times. Oh no.
Who would do that? Could it be one of those random attacks by Alpha Arthur's dumb mummies? I so would make him bleed to death. Or...
Dante?!
My heart throbs with the possibility that it could be Dante, for he was nowhere to be found when I left the pack house. And if it's true, I blame myself for the death of his papa and causing him this much pain.
Maybe I should heed his advice and leave and not cause him so much discomfort for my sake. He too didn't ask for this.
It's easier to blame the moon goddess.
I rush to where they both are and squat next to them... Should I comfort Hendrix? Or hold his papa? My scattered brain leaves me without a clue.
If only I have healing powers or dark magic. Perhaps being a witch is not so bad.
"Who is responsible for this? And I promise to slit the throat of the monster." I groan.
For the first time, he looks up at me. His sea-blue eyes were now faint and filled with sorrow. My heart sinks deeper.
"There won't be any need for that. What could it possibly change?"
I hesitate. Nothing. But then I open my mouth to defend.
"Yeah, it will..."
"Natalie, please." He stops me. "I'm not cut out for this right now. If there's anyone to blame, it should be us! We saw the handwriting on the wall but chose to ignore it."
"We didn't ignore it..."
"Neither did we analyze it, which makes it the same. Don't you get it?! It's not so difficult to assimilate."
Is he insinuating I'm dumb?... That's not the point right now. I sweep the angry thoughts away.
"We only got double-crossed..."
"Okay?" He scans through my face. "Fine, you're right, what next?"
I go mute. I never saw it coming.
"Natalie, I've lost everything." He screams, and tears fall freely.
Now that he hurts, he does deeply. My papa was right after all.
"There's nothing left, it's not a fair battle in the real sense of it. You have nothing to lose."
"You don't know it."
"What more is there to know? Other than you're privileged and entitled? And just blame anyone but yourself?"
I break down.
"Where's all of this vile energy coming from?" I scoff. "Not like it's my fault anyway, you should blame the moon goddess too..."
"There you go again..."
"Whatever." I shrug "Is that how you view me?"
"Natalie, it doesn't matter, that's beside the point. Look around you, be realistic and truthful. Only you can do this. I can't."
"We can!" I stand up, shaking like a leaf being thrust about by the wind. "You can. You only need to give us a chance, you only need to trust me." I sob.
"Trust is so strong a word and you don't just go about demanding it."
"I promise I will eventually earn it, I only need you to give me... us a chance." I plead.
"Unfortunately, there's no place for us, not anymore. I can't afford the luxury, unlike you. I should be given the chance to bury my papa and not get it ripped from me, so please Natalie, no."
I sob, heartbroken. Not even the death of my papa made me feel this way. Shattered and scattered.
My wolf withdraws, afraid it will get rejected. Perhaps, it would make things easier for me, one of us has to make the bold step... and it's certainly not me.
"I guess I'm not needed here." I sob.
"Natalie..."
"No, Hendrix. You don't have to say it, implying it is enough for me." I take a few steps backward. "And so you know, I have something to lose... I'm tasked with choosing you or my kingdom."
"Well then choose."
"It's not easy, Hendrix and damn you for making my choice foolish. I'm asked to respond in two days' time or give my crown to the next suitable wolf."
"Natalie, losing so much isn't worth it."
"They want you, don't you get it?" I scream.
"Then let them have me." he growls. "My life isn't any better."
I get that he's grieving., but he can't be so careless with words.
"Hendrix..."
"Please, stop. Reject me!" He yells.
'Oh no.' My wolf quivers. 'Please don't.'
"Isn't that what y'all do? Freaking reject me and set me free!" He demands.
"You don't know for sure..."
"I think I have the liberty to do that, I may not be a wolf, but I have the freedom to choose those who come and stay in my space!"
"Hendrix..."
"I, Hendrix, human... whatever..." he sighs.
"Stop." I plead. In all sense of it, I have been reduced.
I hope one day I see the silver lining in his rejection.
"... and member of Green Moss Pack, rejects you, Lady Natalie, soon to be alpha of Green Moss pack!" He continues regardless, damning my feelings.
I clutch my heart, as though shielding it from more pain. Could humans also cast the rejection spell? Or probably I'm just hurting from his spiteful words... I may be exaggerating my feelings.
"Well, I don't accept it!"
"Do I look like I care? I don't Lady Natalie, and you shouldn't too."
I sigh, wiping tears off my cheeks. "Now you know I too have something to lose, but I still don't care, because I have the one thing I want... Or maybe I thought I had it."
I breakdown totally.
"Lady..."
I wave him off. Not giving him a moment to talk things through, I turn around and walk out, so fast it feels like my legs would give me away soon.