-Why you don't want me to?!- yells Qin Luo following me -Lai'Er...!-
I ignore him and enter our tend, starting to taking some clean clothes
-Lai'Er, you own me a reason at least!-
-I don't have it, I just know it- I slow down in my movements, avoiding his stare
-Then I will come-
-I don't want a friend's death on my conscience-
-Why are you so sure I will die?-
-All four of them died and... I have been warned about something I yet have to comprehend-
-Who warned you?-
-I don't know that either- I press my lips together, I'm quite aware of how irrational I sound not having a single fact as an answer
-Our soldiers cannot possibly know anything about that mountain, you should not trus...!-
-It wasn't a soldier- I talk over him -I'm not even sure if he was human-
-This... Change things up then- he stops talking, the words slip off of his mouth, with an hand hanging midair as he was trying to reach my shoulder and turn me toward him
-I know, that's why I don't want you to come with me... Please-
I leave the tend and head to find any source of water and cultivate for some time alone...
...
We wake up early for training while the Generals, and other higher-ups, all radunate to study a new strategy together.
Approximately, we should be having our next battle in 3 days and that would be the perfect moment for me to strike...
I have no idea of what awaits me up that mountain, nor how such base is structured.
But going alone should be a vantage for me, all their men will be on war and just a few ones will stay back... Such as injured, servants and or weak guards.
I need to find a good higher place to look at the base before going for the hit...
-Ah nonsense!- yell a men beside me as he is speaking with a few men while duelling
The fervor in their words gets me back to reality
-Favor of the Gods? It can't be true, we are definitely the one on the right side!-
-But why do we always lose then? Do you have an explanation for such a bad outcome?-
-That's all a matter of strength! They have a lot of determination and provisions... But we are all, well most of us, trained soldiers so we can endure till the moment they lose such determination-
-You are wrong... To me the Gods have something to do with this-
"The what? Gods? Mhm..." I grunt to myself
-Yes, I think so too... Haven't you heard what Ziheng said? He stabbed that man in the heart but he kept on walking...!-
-We all know he's a big liar, he's got the fame of one-
-But why would he lie about this?!-
-Yeah... Maybe the Gods decided it is time for a change in our nation, so we're forced to lose-
-The Gods can't be so cruel, come on Chen!-
-I'm not saying they are curel... It's just normal administration for them, maybe a change for the best who knows?
We have all been praying and making offers non stop and still nothing changed, open your eyes!-
-Same for other aspects of life too, I come from a family of farmers and you have no idea how difficult it was lately... My parents told me that the weather makes no sense anymore.
Tons of hot suffocating days and when finally something begins to grow, heavy rain ruine it all...!
The ground is never fertile and the animals are out of control, attacking for the fun of it!-
-Mmh same for me actually... I have been robbed a lot and lost everything I owned, just before I got called back to arms...
I never saw so much criminality as these last years when I was younger... And I've been a soldier on standby while being a merchant for over 35 years now!-
This can't be denied.
The last couple of years have been really difficult for the commoners and, for how much they always turned their eyes elsewhere, the Nobles too felt such changes...
The disequilibrium in the world is stronger than ever and it is in fact the Gods who take care of such things... The energy, the elements, the luck, the goodness, the wealth...
It's all thanks to them.
But it's hard to believe they would ruin our trust so easily, they themselves depend on it... Not just for a change of "normal administration".
Even less if it does not benefit the other faction either!
I shake my head and get back to my training "For now let's just win this one..."
-So? How was it?- I ask to Qin Luo who enters the tend and seats down by the small table at the center
-To cut it short... A mess-
-Why's so?- I seat down too, pouring myself some wine
-The situation is worst than what I expected honestly...
The provisions are a lot less than needed and the fields around here are not producing enough.
Too many men died too, and the other Armada lost manpower... Not to mention ground.
The men are all demotivated, some even murmured about backing down and when the voices reached the General... Ah, God.
He punished them way too severely instead of encouraging them, which only made them lose more hope... And when hope is lost, pretty much the whole war is too.
I don't know how the situation is on the other battlefields, but it can't be much more different than here- he takes a cup and gulps down
-Needless to say is how much I am looking forward to work along with your plan-
-Liutenant Luo...-
-I know I know, nevermind that now... I already have too much of an headache to talk any more-
-Sure-
-What about the camps?- he finally faces me
-The men are well trained and you surely know that... But I too have heard weird murmurs. Some men believe the enemy has the Heavens favor-
-Do you think that too?-
I shake my head
-That's good... At least someone should keep their sanity, for our sake- he sighs
-But...-
He close his eyes at my interruption sucking in the air, ready for any possible bad news -But?-
-It is indeed strange what's happening... They might not have directly the Gods favor, but they Indeed are victorious and less demaged than us-
-What's your thought about it?-
-I only have questions too- I pour one more cup
-Then let's not create more mess in our minds, we cannot solve Heavenly problems even if we want to-
-Yeah...-
-Anything else I should know about?-
-No, I think that's all... The men don't really have much mental strength left to care about anything else.
Ah life here sure is different from the Sections...- I rest my head on my hand -Those guys won't survive a day out there...
Only caring about themselves and loosing time over minor irrelevances, such as who is better than who or other discriminations-
-Mhn... Yeah, but don't think these men were much better once. It's only that once you face death, everything else lose meaning... Honor, Beauty, Lust, Clothes... You just want to survive here, in any possible way-
His face turns darker as he sips slowly... -Some events in life really can change a man-
-It feels like you experienced it yourself-
-I... Uhm...- he stares into the cup in his hand as if recalling something unpleasant.
-Don't push yourself-
He shake his head -Nevermind now, let's sleep- he puts down the cup and stand up, going to change his clothes for the cold night