Sophia Hope and I can't be friends, right? As I noticed, she hated me for something out of my hand. To understand the meaning of respect is an unknown tale. Everyone can understand and know the meaning of respect, but does one know the real feeling of it? I have been asking myself for a few seconds as Sophia entered the classroom door...
"...Fufu, isn't that a wonderful face you making at me," Sophia grinned with a flirty look. "I respected you so much, you know that? Even when you were gone... I waited for you to say hi or check on me, but you didn't!"
I could read her words correctly... To see someone like this you can say they are a Yandere or Kitikudere. ...But normal people wouldn't understand that.
"I see, but that doesn't make a reason to treat your childhood friend like this! I didn't do anything to deserve this!" I said with a pleading voice.
"Oh you didn't, yeah? Then what with your trash introduction? ...When we were younger, I never saw you with glasses, and what's with the voice change? I knew you were a male but you have a female voice like when we were younger. Like a child voice actor in anime, and with your physical as well... When did you get a square build?"
"...Man! I get it, I get it!"
She was talking so much I couldn't understand it, and like what's all that nonsense! She doesn't need to go to the past to talk about someone who was gone for their life for one year. What damn month is this anyway!!!
"Get what? Are you being a piece of trash that nobody has remembered or taken out? ...Like what type of person thinks that they are the dominant one? ...Fufu!"
"What's with the "fufu" laugh?"
"...Tch!"
As I responded to her laugh she made an untruly look at me. I didn't even want to defend it in my own words, but she made her face back to normal and glared at me.
"...You're dull... And it's truly sad," She walked up to me again, but with a weird style with it. "But who can't say, I wasn't always ready..."
She walks to me like a model from a catwalk thing... Whatever, but she puts her hand on my right shoulder. The lighting for this very scene was a dim blue color, to the fact that is now after school. It was so cold or rather should I say chilly weather; it was like an early morning theme, and made it seem everything in the classroom was a cloudy light blue color.
"I don't care, about what you have planned or even ready to do..." I said while sightly moving her hand off me. "So don't even bother...!!!"
"...Neither then myself then!"
In a quick second, I was on the ground, and it was so sudden that I thought it was a dream. Still soon to know, it was a natural takedown technique from what a beginner can even do.
"Ghaack!"
"Haha, never seen this coming...huh? ...And now! See a life where vision is gone from you!" She begins to take off my glasses. "Don't try!!!"
"You bas....!"
As you my thought, the scene had turned into a kid fight where the both of them were trying to take them off each other.
But soon enough she was able to take off my glasses, and my vision became a blur.
Soon...
"Stop it!"
"Do your best nerd! ...But you don't have a chance against me! I'm Sophia, the strongest person you'll ever meet!"
"....Tch!"
The fighting went on for a while, so I was getting irritated that I wanted to just end this with something I wouldn't do, and yeah it was something awful. But I didn't let those thoughts corrupt me so I simply pushed her away.
As Sophia stumbled away from me...
"Ack! Y...you damn bastard!" She yelled while hitting her back against the wall between two of the windows, "What are you doing pushing me like that for? Don't you know my body is way more valuable than yours?"
I don't know what she is yapping about, but I can see that she has a cocky grin on her face. Yes, I'm blind as of now, but still, I can see the grin in my soul.
"Okay, be quiet! I had enough of your bull-crap! What did I do to earn this? Because I left one year? Don't make this silly, I don't know what you may be thinking, but I had enough with this... You're treating me of the lowest of the low!"
I was looking up at her like a peasant, but this wasn't because I was weaker than her, I simply couldn't see a darn thing. So I was on my right knee, and using my right arm to pick myself up from the kneeling position.
"Oh—that? I thought you were an otaku. ...But I'm only messing with you, Manly boy!"
Manly boy?
Praise this woman isn't as dumb as this, and only this is her using an ego as of now...
Sophia still had her back against that wall, but it was a narrow one. She started to get up from the wall with her footsteps being louder from just being quiet. I was getting nauseous just dealing with her.
If only I had my glasses on.
"Hey!"
I shouted at her, and it made her stop in her movements, as I went for my glasses that was probably on the right side of me.
"What!? ...Why did you yell at me!"
"Shut it... But let me just say this... You know who I am?"
I was trying to get this answer from her because she did know my name, but she could have gotten it from my teacher or whoever even checked the attendance...
I was trying to see if she hadn't forgotten about me...
"Pff... Are you serious?"
"Yes, I certainly am!"
Her face was from a giggly to an emotionless stare. I didn't care what she felt, but now if I want to improve myself. I will need to face reality.
"Of course, I know you, and what you were when you were young. We have been friends since childhood in the broke side of town." She coughed, assuming with the word broke-side, "But what do I do anything from this? ...I know who you are Andrew Aemilius."
It was like she was standing her ground looking at me. Luckily it seemed she was preaching to herself, and I was able to find my glasses, so I stood up again, and ready to talk.
"Same to you, Sophia Hope." I push the glasses back into my face with my index finger.
For some reason, I digress that she started to blush, and sort of smiled a little bit. I was hoping she wasn't going to be saying "Say it again, maybe three more times too" if you know what I'm saying...
Now, me and Sophia standing there with poses that didn't fit with the situation.
But I digress...
"So why do this to me? You know we're childhood friends but you treat me like a villain!" I remarked.
"Who knows... I'm probably just 'mean' teasing you..." Sophia smiled as she was still blushing, "But the real reason is that you had lost your self-respect."
"?"
"You don't know what I'm talking about? Man, this is why I love you——but still, you need to understand yourself. I know that face when I saw it, but you seem to lost your way. Heh heh... You used to be so happy but when I first saw you here, your face was tense than usual. I mean, I guess, it is a little embarrassing but the way you didn't look me into my eyes I knew something had changed inside you."
"...Huh?"
This feeling was like when she got mad at me, but I hoped it wasn't a fetish, still, I was stunned, she said she loved me... I was astounded, but she had said.
Self—respect? I don't get it.
"Haha... You making that face again."
It was like I was in a spell, I was locked still, and I couldn't move a single inch.
I mean, it wasn't like I was into Sophia, but I just felt so low beneath her that I thought I couldn't have a chance. It even felt like I had a crush for so long that it felt impossible.
But.
Why would I say that? ...I have a right to try, right?
Still, me being myself, I did just say that, and I told her to stop treating me as the lowest of the low, as well.
"Stop! I don't want to hear it. Your words have no such meanings to me!"
I started to take a defensive stance, moving back a little with my oblivious nervousness and concern about myself. Pushing my glasses, back again, and now watching Sophia coming closer to me.
"What's wrong, Andrew?" She was using a seductive voice, it was starting to cut me off track. "See... You getting defensive, running away, and even scared to speak with me. And isn't this what you want? To speak with me, right? Heh heh... Also, you know that you have no self-respect because you let me bully you with ease. With this, you ain't tricking anybody at all. And you should know you're worth something, so why run away?"
"..."
I had no response, I was shivering in fear, but this wasn't fear... This fear was within nervousness... I couldn't counter her words with my own, and I did let her bully me. I don't even fight back nor even talk back to her, I guess, because of love or respect.
What respect was there? Making me look like a loser, a nerd, or someone weak? Not all people are weak, but it is their self-respect that makes them fear the small stuff.
"...I didn't...." I stopped my words.
"Didn't what? Run away, played as a dog, or even being mocked? You only sat there because I was the only one who said that mean things to you... You're in love with me, aren't you? And if you don't have any willpower or self-respect left, I probably can make you my dog, under my foot."
She was beating me, and I simply couldn't fight back... I'm probably in love with her; who wouldn't? But I'm not into that tho so, I'll just have to fight back.
Because having respect for a person can change in any and every situation, but your respect for yourself sticks with you all your life. The reason is that if you gonna let someone control you. You are just a slave and a puppet in your opposer hand. No self-worth is no self-belief in your morals... So now you will have to stand your ground, face your foes, and show them that you have respect in a battle of the death, but not literally, but mentally you can face the foe with honor and "respect" in a battle. So standing your ground and being self-centered is the way to self-respect!
"I probably am! And I should take my place in this world!" I had a stern look, as I went in close, as she was as well. "I see now, and I shouldn't treat myself that way anymore. I have my way in life, and I don't need people to treat me unequally with others. We are all the same and I won't take this bullying, self—discrimination, and unmeritorious to myself any longer!"
To be yelling at a girl who is still blushing—is embarrassing and cringe. I still feel like, I found myself within my words, though.
Nobody should be lowering themself to anybody. Everyone is special and talented in their way. Being disabled or not, you can always beat the odds—soon or present. And even GOD will show you the way as well if you need hope in your self-worth.
"Oh my... It seems you 'grow some balls' huh? But Andrew this is what I been waiting for."
"...Eh, enough with teasing, I understand, I did find what I have been looking for"
"Yes yes, the thing you were looking for," Sophia started to have a nervous voice, while I was walking towards her making her back up to the same wall I pushed her to. "If you understand now that you have..."
"Respect" I answered clearly.
As she was at the wall I was looking like a "bad boy" in those romance animes, but with somewhat ease, I towered over her like I was confessing to her, It didn't feel real with her blushing and all.
Pretty embarrassing, but I have been told I'm a quite handsome male... Hahaha.
Sophia Hope was at the wall, covering her face with embarrassment and sweating. If I put my hair back and tied it, and also if I took off my glasses it would have been a better scene than in any romance novel or manga.
With our breath showing in this dim-cyan light and both of our faces blushing like lovers—having my arm above her head resting it there with a serious look in my eyes and face. Lovers or just a weird fetish from some weird anime or something that me and Sophia were doing. Still, the connection was as close as chains. Inder's connection by lost commotion and morals from an unknown situation can bring people together.
Now said, Andrew Aemilius; that is me of this context, and Sophia Hope who was my childhood friend since the 3rd grade, and only left each other for one simple year.
We will have fully shown respect and kindness for each other.
And become lovers... Or to start as friends again.