Guy Donnelly: End of School Day
Well my 'audition' was interesting and afterwards I was pulled aside by the school music teacher and spoke with all three judges who were very interested in where I would be pursuing my scholarship if I were to get the full ride. USC is the one that Mr. White keeps informing me of but Mr. Akagi keeps bringing up travel abroad and that sparks my interest more than a little. Both leave and I get the privilege of walking Mrs. Lawson to her car.
"So have you recovered well enough," she asks and I nod, getting a smile from her," So that sister of yours is trying to show you off for her benefit?"
"I don't think so, I think she's trying to get in the head of a girl we both know," I explain and Mrs. Lawson thinks for a moment.
"And she has an application for the same scholarship," she asks and I again nod," Would it happen to be Jenna Christianson?"
"That would be her, know her very well," I ask and she smiles as we reach her car.
"Honey I was her," I get the door and allow Mrs. Lawson to take the driver seat of her car.
"I honestly doubt that Mrs. Lawson," I state and get a curious and slightly sour look," You are a beautiful woman and she's a spoiled bitch."
"Well get in boy and I'll drive you home for today," Mrs. Lawson says laughing at my joke.
The ride home is brief yet fun as Mrs. Lawson and I talk about nothing important and I get a kiss on the cheek as I head inside. Mom isn't home yet but Mark is and I don't get across to the stairs before he comes out and calls for gym time. I change and we head out in his car since he's pretty much glued to it. We tried to do a family thing once with all of us in two vehicles and he ended up driving his own making it three vehicles. We get through basic work out and I use the indoor track to get some running in before Mark stops me and brings me into what he likes to call 'Battle Zone'. It's really a room with heavy bags, dummies for beating on and slamming and pads on the floor for sparing if there is a class. We get in and he hands me pads, this will not end well.
"Okay, I'm not into fighting Mark. We've talked about this," I tell him, dropping the pads.
"Come on, I'm not gonna hit you or anything. We're just going to do something with the heavy bag and the speed bag," Mark pushes, picking up the pads and handing them to me.
"Mark I'm not a fighter, stop trying to make me something I'm not and don't want to be," I throw the pads at him and leave the room.
Back to the track and I run another four laps before stopping and heading back to the rest of the gym. It takes me a little bit to find Mark, he's hitting on women at the elliptical trainer and when he sees me he nods that he'll be there in a few and I decide to wait by the car. It doesn't take long for Mark to get out to me and soon enough we're in the car and on our way home. It's quiet in the car since Mark probably thinks I'm upset with him since I had to lay down the law on what I will and will not do. We get home and still no words are said between us and I finally have to explain myself.
"I know you're trying to help me," I get it out and Mark stops to look at me," I get why; I'm just not a violent person. Yeah I get angry but I don't know what it is about me I just don't think to fight. It's just not who I am."
"Well next time you better call me so I can kick someone's ass for you in advance," Mark retorts after a pause.
I shower, the family eats and proceeds to enjoy my evening and in the morning it's Saturday and I have nothing that needs to be done. I figure on doing something different so I decide to help Mom. Granted she's not doing anything today so we sit and talk, then she helps Bethany with something on a dress or whatever and we go back to watching TV and talking. We spend most of the day doing this and it feels amazing, okay emotionally it feels good but with no pressure and nothing to get in the way I actually get to talk to Mom about things. We go over Beth's plan to fuck with Jenna, my audition; I explain who my friend was that I stayed with when I was with Kim. I don't give details that would get me in trouble or weird looks but I do get to dump a little bit of my life out for her and she just listens and offers encouragement. When the subject of me dating comes up she has a very opposite opinion as to what I should want or do.
"I don't think you need a girlfriend now honey," Mom informs me and I'm a little shocked.
"Okay but why," I have to ask.
"Because you're going to be moving on in a couple months and going to college. Is she going to follow you? Is she going to want to? Are you going to change your plans for her and short yourself on an amazing future," Mom asks these questions and now I have to think.
"I see your point… but I still want a girl that loves me and one I can love back," I tell her and she smiles.
"You're a sweetheart, that's why," Mom informs me and I get a hug.
And that's Mom telling me I'm too nice. I must be too nice but what's the alternative, become a raging asshole to everyone? I don't know if it's true and at times like this I wish I could remember more about Dad. How did he get Mom originally? Was he an asshole to her or just people in general? Questions like this keep me moderately occupied during the weekend, either that or just hanging out at home and watching as Beth seems to rejoice at the small surge in popularity I seem to have found and I discover that I have four new invites to be friends on Facebook and one is the arts program at school. Yeah a group invited to be friends, super excited here.
Monday I am back at school and with my classes being mostly elective or college based on the computer I find I have more than a little time to relax and just work at my own pace and after lunch I find I'm being followed. Okay she's following me but she's not being very subtle about it calling after me to stop. I don't and when I finally get a hand on my shoulder decide to acknowledge her.
"Guy didn't you hear me," Jenna asks a little out of breath.
"Yes, I just don't feel the need to stop," I reply and begin to turn so I can leave.
"We need to talk," Jenna informs me looking around," alone please?"
I kept walking since I was heading to the library that has the computers I use for the college classes I'm taking. I get into a cubicle and begin to log in as Jenna stands next to me expectantly and I have to point to the sign in and the cubicle next to me for her to actually get a seat. She signs up for the one next to me since I'm next to the wall, a safe place for me, and begins in a whisper.
"I heard you are going out for the same performing arts scholarship," she says and I know she was there.
"It's something that gives me options in case academics fail," I'm making a joke…. and she doesn't get it.
"I need you to back out," Jenna asks and I stop loading up class pages to look at her," I know it's selfish to ask."
"Yes but you're a pretty selfish person, I'm just surprised that you decided to be so brazen about asking," I am pretty sure most of the words I'm using are in her vocabulary.
"I'm not selfish," Jenna says and I give her the 'really' look," It's just this is part of my plan, you knew that and now you're probably 'the' one person who is going to take the scholarship after your performance last week."
"Wow, I'm really that much of a threat," I ask, a little surprised.
"I was a front runner and I've been campaigning for the scholarship and in one weekend things are being reviewed, do you know what that means," Jenna asks and I feel a little smug.
"That people have minds that can be changed by one apparently amazing performance," I ask in return, okay it's a bit smug but I'm allowed.
"That means they're looking at you for the scholarship and there's nothing left for me to show since you got an emergency audition. I'll get the scholarship if you drop out since I was the front runner from our school," Jenna explains and I shrug.
"I understand," I replied, turning to my computer.
"Thank you for this," Jenna almost squeals and I look at her.
"For what," I ask and she smiles.
"For backing out of the scholarship," Jenna tells me and I shake my head.
"But I didn't, I said I understand. That means I can hear what you said and I can see the point you are trying to make without actually agreeing with it or committing to the idea proposed," I say all that and smile before turning back to my computer.
"Please, I know you misread how I felt about you back before the holidays and I'm sorry about that," Jenna apologizes and I stop everything to listen," but this is my life, my future at stake. I need your help."
"Okay you say it's your life but what about my life," I ask and she looks at me a little astonished I mentioned me in 'her' conversation.
"You have money and are an amazing student, you don't need the scholarship," she states and I can't disagree… however.
"I don't need this but maybe you should think about whether or not I 'want' this. Maybe I've been ignored and stepped on for so long that I deserve something back. Maybe after all the money I spent on you, helping with pictures, dinners at places you wanted to go and then only being relegated to some sad little boy that should never have been next to you in your mind in the first place I deserve to take something from you. You hurt me, you didn't care or even notice that you did it but you just did and then when I was hurt you didn't care about what you had done," I recall everything in my harsh whisper for Jenna who stares at me a little horrified," So maybe by me getting this scholarship I'm being made whole, karmically speaking."
"But I never meant to do that to you," Jenna whispers, more than a little pained.
"But you did, and when it was obvious I was hurt you minimized it and told others," I heard about this from Bethany," that I was overreacting and that I'd come around. Well I'm around and I want what I'm owed and if this scholarship is how I get some of mine back then so be it."