Jenna has nothing for that and I turn back to my computer allowing her time to her own thoughts while mine are more concerned. Not for her but for me, I don't think I've ever felt that vengeful before and it feels very foreign to me. Like something was crawling around inside me and just took a moment to show itself before crawling back into its hole. Jenna leaves, the library isn't the place for her and I'm not bending to her wants and needs so there isn't a reason for her to be in here. I get about an hour into working when a student takes a seat next to me and I feel that creeping feeling that something is about to go very wrong.
"Hey," I hear a female voice that is kind of familiar and turn to see Marta.
"Umm hi," I remember the last time we spoke, I wasn't kind.
"How was your Christmas," she asks, keeping it to a whisper.
"It was good, got a car, the car got stolen but returned and I paid for a new paint job," I left out the part she knows where I blew up on her front porch.
"Yeah, my dad wasn't too happy when he found out someone came to our home and yelled at his wife. My brother said he'd handle it and then he comes back saying that everything will be alright. I thought he did something to you but Abigail said you were fine," Marta gives me the other side of the confrontation I sought at her home.
"Listen I was…," I start and she cuts me off.
"You were beaten into a corner and you lashed out, I get that and when Mom wanted to know what was wrong I had to explain to her that you've been picked on by a gang," she says it and I note she's leaving out the who," and that you thought Carlos was in charge."
"Because he is in charge, you kept that from her," I state and she nods.
"My mom doesn't need to hear about how my brother goes on with his business and handles his problems," Marta states and I am interested now.
"I'm a problem," I ask and she nods.
"Yes but not for what you think. You're like the thing he can't square up. He let people beat and humiliate you for years and now he needs to make things good with you but he can't," Marta explains and I nod," He's asked me for help too."
"And here you are," I note and she shakes her head.
"Yeah but his problems are his problems. I heard that somehow I was a target for some sort of punishment after everything that happened to you and then you canceled that plan," Marta says and I want to ask how she knows," Imelda is my cousin and she wanted me to be safe."
"Well considering she stole my car and nearly finished what your brother and his friends started I can't say I understand why she was bringing me into this at all," I counter and continue," I just didn't want someone hurt because of me."
"You did the noble thing even though nobody has done that for you but I'm going to say it since nobody else will, thank you," Marta actually thanked me for doing the right thing.
"How many others know," I ask concerned.
"Just me, Carlos, and Imelda… and whoever was going to come after me," she informs me and I nod," I just wanted to say thank you for stepping in and stopping it. Nobody did it for you and you still decided to do it for me."
"You're right, nobody did it for me," I remark, noting that really nobody did and I have to step back and think of my family," but some were just doing what I asked."
Okay I lied about that but I don't want to disturb the order of things now and with Beth and I actually cohabitating and socializing it doesn't do any good to ruin that now. I return to my work as Marta actually does some work of her own on the computer. We don't talk anymore and that's probably a good thing as she'd eventually get dragged into her brother's attempts to get me to have a conversation about how I need to forgive and forget. I can't and I won't and thankfully the real people I have close to me understand that. I continue my work and somehow miss the final bell realizing that school has been let out only when the librarian comes by to check everything and gives me notice that I've been here for about an hour after school and she needs to close up. One saving grace of being late to leave is that today I brought my car. Packed up and heading to the parking lot there are a few stragglers heading home and still some faculty and teachers. I get to my car and have to admire the new paint; glossy color instead of metallic or a matte but the actual color is wine red. It has no place in the history of the car but I love the deep dark red and that's what I wanted. I'm in my car and almost get the engine started when a fast loud knocking on my window nearly scares the piss out of me. I look and see Emily, one half of the cheerleading lesbian duo minus Natalie, her Hispanic partner. She looks like something is wrong and I roll down my window to see what she wants.
"Have you seen Natalie," she asks concerned," We always catch a ride together but I haven't seen her since lunch."
"I really haven't seen her since my thing at the auditorium last Friday," I reply, keeping it short and honest.
"She's always here, I tried calling but she didn't answer and now I'm stuck," she says looking around.
"Did you need a ride, I do have a car," I state since it's obvious and she's Beth's friend.
"No it's not just a ride, I need Natalie," Emily says and she seems distressed by something.
"Well either I can give you a ride or you can hope she comes back but if you haven't heard anything by now it's probably an emergency or something," I'm using logic to help out her thoughts.
"You're probably right but it's just been a while since she hasn't been there for me," she says sounding very self centered.
"Okay well did you want the ride or did you want to step back," I ask and she gives me an odd look," So I can go home. I don't want to hit you with my car."
Emily thinks about it for a couple seconds before coming around to the passenger side and gets in. Seatbelt on and I'm driving a girl home with my car, yeah she's in a relationship but it's something for me. We get off school grounds and she begins giving me directions to her home. It's a quiet ride and I take a little better notice of my first passenger. She's about 5'7" and not super thin like most of her friends on the squad. She's got some curves to her but not super thick either, she has to be in the pyramid somehow I guess. Brown hair straight and down to her shoulders wearing denim jeans and a big sweater round out Emily's appearance and attire and at one point I think she figured out I was looking at her.
"So aside from today everything is good between you and Natalie," I ask and she nods.
"It's good, she looks out for me and I help her. It's a very symbiotic friendship we have," Emily explains and I think about how she's wording it.
"But I mean you two are always together, that has to keep the bond tight," I ask and she nods.
"Oh we're not always together, we have separate classes but my parents don't trust her. They think she's a bad influence," she says as we stop at a light.
"Well some parents aren't very understanding but if it's what makes you happy and you feel loved then go for it," I state my opinion and Emily gives me a confused look.
"Happy and loved? What are you babbling about," she asks and I wonder at her agitation.
"Well you two have been together for a couple years now I think and I'm just saying that since you are a couple," I get that far and I'm shut down.
"Who said we were a couple? Wait, you thought we were what? Gay," Emily says and I nod a little," Oh no, is that how we come off?"
"Yes, well at least to me, I don't know what other people say or think," I explain and she gives me a questioning look.
"Why do you think we're lesbians, what have you seen," she asks and I think a little bit back.
"Well there was when you two wanted your own room during Beth's slumber party, how you were clingy almost when you were looking for her a few minutes ago and then when I was forced to watch that fucking vampire movie," sparkly piece of crap movie," She was playing with you while you bit your pillow."
"You saw that," she asks and I nod," oh my god I'm going to die."
"I didn't tell anyone, it's not my business or my place to go around talking about other people's lives," I state my position and Emily shifts in the seat.