The Office of Dr. Gene Hill, December 19th
After further review of my caseload I have come to the conclusion that I need fewer clients with transparent problems. I get the remainder of my work filed away and settle down to my last two patient files. A joined case but the psyche of the patients is off by a sea of differences. First file is for Bethany Delauter.
-Youngest in her family, coped with it by developing advanced social skills over others including her twin.
-Lost mother before her teen years, not a lot of information on coping until a new mother persona was discovered.
-New mother entered life and the dependent psychology of the time dictated a need to seek out attention and praise. Child assimilated to the characteristics of the new mother.
-Jealousy of an existing child (see adjoining case) caused a backlash of hate and advanced social skills turned to manipulation, bribery and blackmail to force a wedge in between the new mother and brother.
My established timeline for Bethany's problems is solid and her response to our sessions has been moderately positive for the most part. Still the patient's greedy personality overweight her own mental image of how she perceived herself and her family unit. Bethany over the course of two months has grown out of her hatred for step -sibling and sees that her alienation of him has done more harm to the family than help. Further exposure and inspection by the patient of her actions have also given her remorse and patient wishes to make amends with step siblings.
All of it is part of what Mark Delauter Sr. paid me for as the rest of the family was ignorant or blinded by the youngest daughter as to her actions and the actions of exterior forces on the patient, Guy Donnelly.
-Child of divorce at an early age, isolated and fearful of the outside world the child dug into himself and instead of acting out for attention hid from it (verify parenting style of biological father with Mother).
-Severe cases of emotional neglect due to Mother's alcoholism and grief turned to internal and external isolationism from the patient.
-New Step siblings added to neglect and emotional void with further abuse, threats of violence, or general apathy to the situation.
-Lack of supervision allowed patients to build greater emotional walls and separate themselves from the family unit despite internal desire for acceptance and positive emotional response.
-External abuse in school enabled patients to develop plans to escape the environment despite potential for failure whether observed or oblivious to the situation.
-Some progress is made with breaking down emotional barriers with patients. Family must allow the patient to express emotions without justification of actions.
Rereading Guy's file I get to my last notes and think back to his outbursts both on myself and on his family. I have to review my recordings. He's distressed, obviously but why? It's not confrontation causing him to lash out nor is it fear, both of those would have manifested themselves in more obvious times. My concern is that there is something rooted in Guy that he knows about subconsciously but he doesn't actually feel yet. The walls, the lack of emotions and unwillingness to make connections to others from an emotional standpoint could all be a sort of safety catch all for Guy so that he doesn't change into something he feels he can't control. Continued review and interviews with members of the family, specifically his step sister Abigail point to panic attacks when met with stressors that she saw as fear attacks. My worst case scenario is that it's not fear or terror that is causing the panic attacks but more so rage. Not anger or simply being upset at something, a pure rage.
I set the file down and pinch the bridge of my nose thinking of Guy's actions. If he is shielding everyone from his rage then it's important that I resume working with the family to prepare them for moments when he will allow it to leak out of himself and onto those around him. It won't be pretty but if we can safely allow him to vent his pent up rage onto people who will listen and understand it will be a better alternative. I shudder to think of what happens when someone finally allows their pain to encompass their life and with Guy that exception can be worse. Simple formula really, take the abused and decent person and remove all the filters that they have to prevent themselves from lashing out at the world. Then when they are forced to feel and act upon their feelings they have no self control, no restraint and no remorse. Guy feeling his emotional range considering what he has inside himself would be catastrophic.
Guy Donnelly: Christmas Morning
Waking up tired on Christmas morning is a pretty usual thing but after Mrs. Lawson aka Cassandra's visit after the party a couple nights ago, sleep has been helpful. I still don't understand what is happening with me in regards to this 'family' that seems to want me around now. It was almost three months ago now that nobody even gave a damn whether or not I was coming down to dinner. Now it's Christmas morning and I'm probably being waited for by everyone. I pull on the Christmas pajamas that we purchased for me, not my idea to wear a snowman's face on my ass, but I go through the trouble of getting the two pieces on and make my way downstairs. I think I'm the only one until I hit the TV room where the tree is and see Mom sitting on the couch with Mr. Delauter. They're cuddled up together and drinking a cup of coffee by the smell as I step in the room.
"Merry Christmas," I beat them to the greeting and see them both smile that I'm there.
"Merry Christmas," I am hit back with it and I take a spot in the corner chair.
The rest of the family makes their way down and Mark looks especially goofy in old pajamas that don't quite fit and we sit down to begin going through presents. I keep more of an eye on everyone else as they unwrap their gifts and finally it gets to mine, the ones I got for them and I wait quietly. Mark opens his first and like most others from me the box is small. Everyone watches him remove a pendant shaped like a shield with an angel on the front holding a sword and shield while wearing armor. It takes him a second to read the paper and quietly he puts the pendant on and looks humbled.
"Mark what is it," Mom asks, leaning forward.
"It's a guardian pendant, like an angel one. Thanks bro," Mark answers Mom then turns to me.
Mr. Delauter is next, and I got some black gold cufflinks. He swears he never has any good dark cufflinks for his black suit. He smiles and gives me an appreciative nod. After him it's Mom and it was difficult to get something appropriate and while finding the frame, a simple silver one, found a picture of us when she wasn't in a bar. I dug it out of an old box but it's from move number two and had the old picture touched up of us in a restaurant booth smiling. I look kind of sad in my smile but Mom is her old bright happy self and when Mom finally gets a good look at it she has to stop and check her tears a bit before thanking me with a smile. My last gift, other than the t-shirt to Rosa that says 'I will cut you bitch' in Spanish on it, is the one to Abigail and Bethany. One box and both names on it have them a little confused and Beth does the opening so they can pull out mated lockets. I say mated because they are one piece of jewelry that separates into two pieces each with a chain and when the separate pieces open there is a picture. Abby has Beth's picture reversed, took me a bit but Rosa helped me find it of the two of them when they were my age around the divorce. I am being asked for an explanation by the looks on their faces.
"You're twins, you seem to forget that you are and you have nothing current that shows it. I figured you needed reminding," I explain as Mr. Delauter smiles at it.
"He's right actually, we can even move you both back into a single bedroom again," their Father says and the immediate argument is met with joking laughter.