Its mission is difficult to pee with a hard on pointing at your face and jerking off first would leave me feeling really awkward. I manage to calm myself enough to do a weird leaning and peeing combo so I don't make a giant mess of my toilet. I get done and don't have to wipe up anything before exiting the bathroom and almost walking right into Lela who has a look like she's waiting for me.
"Your sister thought you would try to sneak off so I came up here to get you," Lela informs me with her arms crossed.
"No, I just preferred to use my bathroom," I explain as I begin to head back down to the movie.
"Hey, can I ask you something," Lela asks and I nod curiously," what do you find attractive in a girl?"
"That answer could be a lot of things," I ask back confused.
"You're a guy; what is it that you find more attractive about some girls than others," Lela asks again.
"I think so but I'm a bad judge of beauty honestly," I say it and she gives me a confused look.
"Why are you a bad judge of beauty," Lela asks and I stop to explain.
"I look at how people treat each other, not what they look like. I've seen you before strong-arming people for picking on your friends and standing up for yourself. That is what I find beautiful, all the physical stuff can change. I mean look at me," I gesture to my face," I'm a map of small to medium scars. If I let that define how I think of myself I should just go crawl in a hole and die."
"Damn, that's some hard shit," Lela says and we return to the movie.
We watch but no more interesting shit happens in either the movie or the floor in front of me and once it's done I realize I could have been doing something more entertaining. The girl's debate watching a movie when Katheryn with a 'y' decides to make me suffer.
"Let's play a game," I hear the suggestion and immediately bow out.
"I'm heading back to my room. I'd rather not play any games," I say and now all eyes are on me.
"Oh come on, it's true or dare. What is the worst that can happen," Kat says and the girls begin.
I hear all sorts of horrible questions from biggest crush to worst decision and biggest date regret to the dares that don't consist of anything interesting like girls stripping down naked and fondling each other. That would be an amazing slumber party; it would for me at least and probably Emily and Natalie. I see eyes settle on me as girls are thinking of how to get me involved.
"Truth or Dare Guy, are you a virgin," Katheryn asks and I roll my eyes.
"Aren't you supposed to make me wait for the question? Truth and no," I answered annoyed.
"Yeah I could confirm he's not on that one thank you very much," Beth clarifies saving me a little.
"Okay well truth or dare," Lela asks and I figure on dare," I dare you to change into your smallest pair of shorts, not underwear, and come back down here in only that."
"Oh for the love of Christ," I groan and the girls all giggle.
I get up from the couch and head up to my room to find 'small shorts'. I settled on a bathing suit that was about a size too small for me and crammed myself into it before awkwardly heading back down stairs. I'm shaking a little thanks to my brain reminding me I'm going to be in small shorts and no shirt in front of a half dozen girls that are so far out of my league that I'd need a space shuttle to ask them to lunch at school. I step into the doorway and that's when every female in the room goes from giggling to themselves about what I'll look like to awkwardly quiet. I moved back to the spot they pulled me down to so I would be on the floor with them and now nobody wants to speak or look at me.
"Well this is embarrassing as all hell, I'm mostly naked in a room full of girls and nobody has the nerve to even laugh a little," I mutter and Lela is the first to speak.
"Guy I'm sorry I just didn't think about it before I said it," Lela says and I shrug.
"Who wants to go next, not like shit can get any worse," I had to say it when Emily asked the truth.
"Did you really love Jenna," Emily gets the question out and I deflate.
"Yes," I answer and see the 'why?' in her head," because she was nice to me."
"Nice to you, she was a bitch," Beth states for the record and I shrug.
"I'm not used to people being nice to me. I've been on my own for over nine years and some attention was nice for a change," I declare sounding pathetic.
"Well she was a bitch for using you. She lost a lot of friends when she put you on the shelf before winter formal," Lex explains and I grunt.
"Not like it matters, nobody came running to pull me off the shelf except for my family and that would just make it weird," I bring out a little of my past and all the girls are
looking.
"Do they hurt," Lela asks and I shake my head," what about the big one? Is that the one from…"
"That's where I got stabbed," I lean back a little so they can see it," It's kind of small compared to the movies."
All the girls including Beth take a look and stare a bit before settling back into awkward girl mode. Emily reaches out a hand to touch the stab one but recoils looking at me and I nod, it's weird but I'm not exactly sure why I agree. Her fingertips gently touch the area and now I have hands tracing over every single scar on my back, chest or head. Except for Bethany who sits there ashamed of what she did and horrified by the sight of my body.
"Okay this might be weird but if you were a brother I'd fuck you," Lela states and now everyone looks at her funny," I'm just not into white guys okay but he's quiet and sweet, don't tell me he ain't he sat through that movie and I don't know of a straight guy who has but he's tough."
"Because he got his ass beat for three years and got scared up," Natalie asks, pulling her hand back.
"He could have cried or whined but he didn't want to be that, and I'm not trying to be mean here Beth, rags to riches kid. The one who has everything and can buy his friends, he wanted to be someone else and he took beatings for all of high school and got stabbed," Lela says and the girls are still looking at me funny, not a good or bad funny either.
"Okay I am going to step around the scars and talk about the fact that your brother works out," Katheryn points out and now it's a different level of embarrassment.
It's a new round of personal questions that I have to mostly make up answers for thanks to Beth's lie about why nobody knew we were family and still I keep the blame
on me. It takes a bit and I settle down despite awkwardly tight shorts. I finally leave the girls to some actual girl time and return to my room to change and sleep.
I'm up at the crack of dawn to work out, mostly run, and then try to relax a little before the cheer brigade decides to add another embarrassing moment in my life. I hear them do the rise and shine which sounds more like zombie bitches from hell. How many times can a female tell another female they're hogging the bathroom when we have two upstairs and two downstairs not counting the one in Mom's room? Yeah it's like that for most of the morning as I quietly eat breakfast by myself. I let the girls go about their day which at one point before noon has everyone leave in Beth's truck and I think Lela's car will go somewhere. Rosa is cleaning and I see her smile at me and nod as I set up a speaker or two and put on a few classical pieces. I don't only listen to opera but I do have some of the accompanying music so I can sing them myself. I've been practicing for years and while I have no clue if I'm actually any good Rosa likes it and she's about the only person whose opinion of my singing matters. I've been singing for her since my second year at home and she says I've gotten better, only praise I really had for a long time.
I work my way through a few arias and lay down a little more of Phantom, it's in English so for me it feels easier. I must have been at it for a couple hours as we break for lunch and while Rosa prepares real enchiladas for me she has one request and while it's a favorite it's difficult I can't refuse the woman making my food. It's from Pagliacci, the Vesti la Giubba and while I love the piece it's not easy because of the emotion involved to make the piece resonate. First off, shut up, it's my creative outlet and Rosa loves it. I wind my way through the opening and make it through most of the middle when we come to the crescendo of the piece and I can feel the emotion pouring out of me and I'm on my knees as Rosa is standing in the doorway to the kitchen while I'm assuming my food is cooking. I end the piece in the traditional laugh to cry and hear the music trail on as I rest a moment before the track ends. Quietly I stand up and turn to change the track and see, waiting in the awning, Bethany and her five friends with shopping bags. The bags are on the floor and the girls are staring as I am now very self conscious of what is going on.
"How long have you been standing there," I ask and not a single one of the girls moves," How long… have you been standing… there?"
I ask with a point and all I get is a shrug from Alexandra, the small blonde, as I turn to Rosa. She nods before heading back into the kitchen to finish my lunch as I put away my small music equipment. I barely get out of my room and there are females with questions, a safety hazard to be sure.
"You can sing, I mean you can sing that," Lela asks, trying to make an operatic gesture.
"Better than most of the pop crap they put out now," I state, it's a fact for me.
"How is it that you sang better than Brittney or Miley," Beth asks, trying to take control of the situation.
"They are all about how they look and maybe, just maybe they will sing about something with emotion. Otherwise it's twerking on stage with people in animal costumes or having shit painted on you before you do a concert that melts off," I clarify heading downstairs and into the kitchen to eat.