Mark Delauter Jr.
I have kicked people's asses for a lot less than what just got yelled at me and my family by my younger brother Guy. I know part of me wants to kick someone's ass right now because it is better than feeling like an idiot. Mom is crying and Dad is holding her while Abigail is burning holes through Bethany. Beth on the other hand is more concerned about Mom than what Guy said about her. Maybe that's part of the problem, Mom and Guy are a package and she doesn't see it. Dr. Hill is still waiting to speak like Guy is going to come back down and let her have a word with him.
"Well that was good," the doctor says and now everyone is looking at her like she is an idiot.
"How in the hell was that a good thing," Dad asks and I agree with him.
"Guy's biggest problem is he has cut off all his emotional attachments. When I was able to speak with him in the hospital my main obstacle was his emotional distance. He'd rather speak with a stranger on the street than sit at a table with his family. Nothing any of us can do to break that wall down since it was outside stimuli that built it, we needed Guy to break it down and from that we can help him feel again," the doctor says and I'm confused.
"You manipulated him to say all those cruel things to my Mother so you could do your job," Beth begins to argue and I don't know which to smack, her or the doctor.
"Yes, I'm here to help this family and Guy grow and hopefully develop a real family bond. A bond that is easier when emotions are involved which he wasn't feeling or allowing himself to feel. You know your place in the pain that he's endured but you are not able to empathize with it. Guy needed to lash out and hurt, he needed to express himself after years of silence," Dr. Hill is firm with my sister before looking at the rest of us," You needed to know his pain, all of it and even though this wasn't the happy accepting session you thought you would get we're actually making good progress."
"Explain to me how him leaving the room when we're trying is good progress," I ask because there are a lot of emotions and I'm not fully understanding.
I watch as Doctor Hill picks up a pen and then I'm hit in the face with it. It stings a little and everyone is staring at her as I want to throw her out of my Dad's house.
"Did that hurt," she asks and I nod angrily," now imagine that all your emotions are a feeling, that was you feeling emotional pain. Happiness, sadness, rage, shame, envy, lust are all feelings that would have a corresponding physical feeling. Do you understand so far?"
"Yes," I grunt and I want to throw the pen back at her.
"Now think about how you would feel if I struck you with the pen but there was no pain. Emotionally Guy has spent years building himself up so that he feels nothing since all of it for him has had pain attached to it. His Mother loved him but couldn't cope with her personal issues until she found your father and then she was busy trying to build a solid family base with him. Your father is a solid provider and loves in his own way but can be emotionally distant at times as he is a rational thinker," the doctor explains and I'm beginning to get it I think.
"So what about the rest of us," Bethany asks and I'm curious as to our faults.
"Your brother was naïve to how much deceit you have directed towards others and you turned his nature of defending his family against Guy. Your sister, your twin, wasn't as emotionally strong as you and you bent her to a follower position just to further your agenda," Doctor Hill says to Beth who doesn't like what is being said.
"So what about Beth, Mark was misled and I was coerced," I don't know that word Abby used," What is Bethany's thing other than she's a mean hateful bitch."
"She's not mean or hateful, she's scared," Doctor Hill says and I think I scoffed louder than Beth," You are afraid of being alone and forgotten. When your mother passed you clung to everything and now with your Mom, Loretta, you have changed yourself so that she will feel closer to you.``
Now that makes a lot of sense but I feel like we're all missing the point since Guy's upstairs and not down here. I didn't even think about it when Beth told me Guy attacked her and I don't hate her even though I'm not happy with finding out I have been her goon for a few years. Everyone continues to talk about what to do with Guy and how him screaming at us is good but again he's not here. I stand up and walk to the door only to have Dad say something.
"Mark we're in the middle of the session," Dad says but I shake him off.
"Dad I have to do this," I say as I head out the door.
Up the stairs and I can hear Guy in his room crying, dude we made him cry? I don't get that at all but here it is and I am just going to have to deal with it. I knock on his door and hear it go quiet so I knock again. It takes a minute but he opens the door after the third knock. He doesn't say anything but he looks at me like he wants me to leave.
"Put on some jeans and shoes, we're going out," I tell him and he gives me an angry look.
"I'm not going anywhere," Guy informs me and I shake my head.
"Yeah we are, come on," I tell him and stand there.
I let him close the door and wait for a few minutes before he comes out with jeans and shoes on. I take my time walking with him downstairs and out to the garage then get him and me into my Dodge Challenger and I head out to get some food. We're about five minutes out and Guy is just sitting there looking out my window.
"Burgers or chicken," I ask him.
"What," he asks, guessing I confused him.
"You want a burger or chicken, I don't know a decent seafood place with a drive through," I tell him and he shrugs," pick one man."
"Burgers," he tells me looking back outside.
We pulled into the drive thru of a mom and pop burger joint, the kind that you eat in the parking lot because all the whole building could fit in my Dad's garage. Guy picks his meal and I tell our order to the girl behind the counter, kind of cute but I'm not trolling for high school girls. We get our food and drinks after I pay and I take him to one of my spots at the college and park before getting out with our food. Guy is about a half step behind me as I head to the edge of the parking area and sit down on the grass. It's a hill overlooking one of the practice fields where football and soccer do their drills. I could have kept playing but I wasn't first string or second string material and decided to stick with academics, sadly I'm not that good at those either. I am glad that I can find decent tutors for a few of my classes so I don't let Dad down by failing college. I pull mine and Guy's food out of the bag as he sits to my right and we start eating. It is only about six in the evening, but the sun is low enough that the sky is really pretty. All we do is sit and eat, we don't talk much or say anything big and important. I just want to sit and eat and that is what we do. I don't take my time on my burger because I'm fucking hungry and so is Guy, home food is good but you need a fucking burger I figure since he's been on hospital food for three weeks.
"The one thing I wish I could do over again this last month," I start and Guy stops with a grumpy look on his face," I should have brought you one of these when you woke up everyday."
He sees I'm talking about the burger and nods in agreement before we both laugh a little and continue eating. More eating and less talking when I have to ask.
"Dude are you still a virgin," and the look I get is funny," I guess not but damn I thought you would have killed me in the fucking therapy session but that look would do me in right now."
"Why the hell would you want to know that," Guy asks me confused.
"Because I don't know you, yeah we're supposed to be bros and all that but you could probably tell me more about me than I know about you and that's not how bros are supposed to be. I'm just trying to fill in the important details," I try to explain but I don't think it's coming out right.
"So if I was a virgin," he asks, confused.
"Then I'd be at college in a couple weeks trying to get you hooked up with a girl or something, I don't know. It's just… I'm supposed to be your bro and if shit isn't good then I'm supposed to help," I explain and he shrugs.
"Not much you can do to help me now," Guy says, finishing his fries and not looking at me.
"No, I can do a lot to help now. Now is all I got. Yeah I can't go back and change shit but I can do shit now. That's all I can do," I tell him and realize I sound dumb and shut up.
Guy doesn't say anything to that, he just nods and we sit watching the state of Texas go from day to night before throwing out garbage away and getting back in my Challenger and heading home. I don't know why but I have to ask.
"So was she good," I ask about his last girl and he shrugs.
"It was my first time, it felt great. I just didn't want to be the only high school virgin," Guy says and I nod.
"I get that, so women weren't beating down the door of the school outcast. Think they will start now," I ask him and he shrugs," I say don't change a thing man. I want to be bros, here on out we will be bros but as for them at school I say don't change a thing. Be you and fuck them."
Guy nods and I am thinking about what to do now when it hits me and I pull off the freeway and into one of the Latino communities. We're driving around for a bit and I know Guy is confused but I'm looking for something. I think I remember what they look like or where they hang out but it takes a half hour before I find them in a parking lot with their low riders. Guy is looking at the group and I park my car.
"So let's go kick some ass," I tell Guy and get a confused look.
"Who's ass and why," he asks me and I point the little gangers at their cars," Mark what are you talking about?"
"Those guys kick the shit out of you at school so let's go fuck them up," I don't know how bad Guy is still hurt but he could take one.
"Mark, I don't know them. They aren't even part of the group at my school," Guy says and I look at the gangsters again.
"Really, they dress like them," I say confused.
"Wrong colors, the crew at school is white shirts and blue jeans with black rags, these guys have black and green," Guy says and I shrug.
"Okay so we'll go find white and black," I tell Guy who stops me.
"Mark can we please not do this, I know what you are thinking and it's cool but it's not me," Guy tells me and I nod, his call really.
"Next time shit happens though I need you to tell me about it okay," I tell Guy getting a nod
We pull out of the corner store parking lot and head back towards home. We're about half way there when Guy decides to talk.
"They're going to get me back on the first day," he tells me and I shake my head.
"If they're stupid they will. I'm not as smart as Abby or you but I know that I'll show up at their houses with half the football team from my college and beat everyone of those fuckers," I tell him thinking they won't be stupid enough to say shit to Guy again.
"Why the hell would you do that," he asks and I smile.
"You're my bro, I'm gonna keep saying it till you learn it's real," I tell him almost hoping someone fucks with him.
Guy doesn't say anything about it and we get home easily enough. Parked and out of my Challenger. We get into the house where Mom and Dad are waiting outside his office. I think they heard us coming when Guy surprises me.
"Thanks Mark," is all he says but he smiles as he says it.
I watch him head up the stairs and end up getting pulled into my Dad's office. Mom and Dad are worried but I'm smiling.
"Where did you two go," Mom asks and I tell her everything,"Why would you try to find the people that have been beating up my son?"
"To scare them so they'd leave him the hell alone," I tell her and my Dad doesn't approve.
"That was an unsafe move Mark," he says and I stop him.
"Dad, you told me I scare people from hurting or pushing my sisters around. Guy needed me and I wasn't there because I didn't know. I know now and I can do something about it. Now the next time one of those shits decides to push Guy around I'm gonna find him and kick his ass in front of his boys," I tell Dad who doesn't like my way of handling it I think.
"Mark, did you talk to Guy tonight? Did he tell you anything," Mom asks and I think a bit before telling her.
"Mom we talked a bit about guys, I mean bro stuff and I wanted to do something about the gang at school who messed with him but he talked me out of it when I couldn't find them," I told her, leaving out the sex talk.
Mom smiles a little and that makes me feel better, I remember my Mom but Mom now is really good too. Hell she's great and she deserves something for all the pain and shit she's been through since Guy got stabbed. I leave my Dad's office and head back to my room to chill out. I think I did good tonight or at least did good by Guy for once.