Everyone is apparently in the TV room waiting and it's only once I'm inside that I see we have a visitor. Dr. Hill has her own chair and the rest of the family is seated on the couch or in the other comfortable chairs. Another chair is brought from the dining room for me to sit on and I can scream about how poetic this is but I put a pin in it to come back to the point.
"Thank you for joining us Guy," Dr. Hill greets me with a smile.
"Not sure why I'm here," I remarked sitting down in my wooden seat.
"You're here to join the family therapy sessions. The rest of your family has been meeting for almost a month now to work out their issues and since you are out of the hospital and moving we figured you'd like to join us," Dr. Hill explains and I scoff.
"You figured wrong," I say it and Bethany rolls her eyes, another pinned item to bring back.
"Guy, all of us are here to work out the way this family has acted. There have been a few one on one sessions so that some of us can accept things that we have done or didn't do when it came to how we treated this family as a whole," Mr. Delauter explains and I shake my head.
"Okay so what does this have to do with me again," I ask and everyone grimaces at my lack of enthusiasm.
"Guy what your family is trying to do is bring you into the fold emotionally, you've always been a part of the family," I start to say something but Dr. Hill cuts me off," now before you begin we're going to let everyone say their piece on how they felt about the whole situation once everything was brought to light."
I should get up and leave right now but Mark Jr. steps up and wants to say something to me that he's probably rehearsed over the past sessions.
"Guy when you came around I didn't know what to think because you were different. Different from me, I was waiting to see who you were when the fight happened and I beat you up. I didn't know it at the time but I was used to making a point and I'm sorry I was a shitty big brother," Mark stops to gauge my reaction before continuing," Mostly I just want to take you out and try to make up for lost time."
I think about it, put it in its place and watch as Abigail stands up to say her piece. Oh lord they are all going to do this one at a time.
"Guy, we've talked a little bit about it but you have no idea how sorry I am for my lack of actions in your defense. I will do many things to help bridge the gap I allowed between us, I only ask that you let me and trust me like I trust you," Abby sits back down a little hopeful.
"Guy, when you came into my life I knew you were special. You are a smart young man and you have the best sense of duty and family I've ever seen. You did things way beyond the responsibility that you should have had and have grown up too fast and yet not poorly. I never wanted to take the place of your father but I hope with time and consideration you will accept me and my children as your family as we have done a poor job of showing you that you are a part of our family," Mr. Delauter hits a few really good points before sitting back down next to my Mom.
It's a big debate who is going to go next but I'm talking about it. Apologies are fine but it's like a Nazi apologizing to a holocaust survivor. You can use all the words you want but it's not going to change the fact that you killed twelve million people. Granted that's a bit bigger than my current dilemma and I stand up gaining everyone's attention.
"Guy could you please let the rest of the family finish their statements," Dr. Hill asks thinking I'm going to leave.
"No, I need to head back up to my room so something productive can happen in this little session," I say and everyone in the family is a little hurt by my dismissal of their apologies but Dr. Hill doesn't want to let go.
"Guy this family is trying to tell you how they recognize the situation you've been living under," She begins but I shake my head," And you are being dismissive of their efforts."
"It's a moot point, you can't change what was done and what wasn't done to and around me since I was nine. All the things that lead up to the point in my life where I got stabbed were unrelated to that event unless someone here orchestrated it which I doubt. I'm not going to let one event that had nothing to do with my living situation change how I…," I am trying to explain but Dr. Hill cuts me off.
"Guy you are not helping this family, they are all sympathetic and attempting to help you but you aren't giving them the opportunity…," about where I decide to finish this.
"SHUT UP WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! Why the fuck can't you seem to understand I don't care. I am the poster child of an uncaring life and an uncaring family environment but you keep on nagging with their feelings. FUCK THEIR FEELINGS AND FUCK YOU! I did everything for my Mother and she was happy to have her fucking victory trophy of a son for years while she drank herself into a fucking hole and I took care of us and as soon as she found the man she was looking for she decided she needed to straighten her ass out for her new perfect fucking family," I am spewing venom but apparently that doesn't dissuade Dr. Hill.
"Guy your language has no place in this session," She gets that much out before I continue.
"Bitch my voice has no place in this house thanks to that cheerleading whore, her idiot brother and brow beaten sister. I tried to talk to them and I was ignored and the best part is Beth was right. I'm not wanted here, not unless you want to count to make the perfect family feel less guilty about their upper class ways. Get one thing straight, there isn't a person in this room that has been there for me to the point that I would call them family in almost a decade. NOT ONE PERSON! All of you are a family, I'm just the shitty trophy from Mom's first marriage that she won when she somehow screwed my father out of rightful custody," my words are poison and everyone especially Mom is in pain from them," I don't need this family. I don't need your bullshit or guilt or lies and I especially don't need someone to try and tell me the past is something I need to forget about because it doesn't help everyone else. Everyone here for years has said fuck Guy. Now here is me saying FUCK YOU!"
I leave the room fast and head up the stairs to my room in a rage I've never had before. My ears are ringing and I can feel my heart in my head pounding. My limbs are shaking and I don't feel well. I sit down and lose all control as I cry against my bedroom door.