Chapter 52 - 7 18- 8 5

Story 7 - To Kill Demonic Vines (18/18 End ??)

Spear That Weaves Through Lightning walked forward with his own weapon out. "Even though she just made us help a bunch of mortals by doing work that should have been left up to the city lord—"

Little Spring scowled. "Are you still talking about that?"

"—You don't insult our sect's senior."

The kid stepped in front of me, as if determined to protect me this time. This brat.

Actually, all of these young kids were brats!

As a thousand-year-old monster, I really didn't need the help. But youths liked to feel useful so I'd let them do what they wanted.

"You realize that two of those alchemists are in the golden core realm, right?" I gestured to Violet and Red Leaf.

Clear Eyes grinned. "Doesn't matter. We're from the Indomitable Will Sect, and we have each other's backs."

"Also, one of their guards." I pointed to a muscular man who was eyeing us like he was gonna take us down any second.

Basically, we'd end up dead before we could even touch their sleeve. It was partially why I hadn't tried anything.

"It's not like Peak Elder Grass Sprout isn't in the area," Little Spring said.

Point to the brat.

Goddamn it. That dragon was going to update our scorecard once he found out.

"Oh! Grandmaster Grass Sprout is here?" Alchemist Red Leaf said. "I haven't seen her since the last Alchemist Assembly a few decades ago."

Violet sent me a look that told me that I was on her 'To Kill When She Had the Chance' list.

Red leaf waved everyone down. He must have had the respect of everyone there because they did so without question.

"There's no need for that. Violet Pill Fairy here was merely expressing her concern and didn't mean anything by her words. Now, why don't we discuss the Dao of Alchemy while we wait for your Peak Elder?"

I could practically feel Mad Tongue getting ready to escalate and Violet Pill getting ready to prove her elder wrong.

The last thing our sect needed was to start a war with the Alchemists' Guild just because Violet and I wanted to murder each other.

"Of course we can discuss the Dao of Alchemy!"

The teen pursed his lips.

I began to lead everyone to our courtyard while talking to the old man.

"By the way, when is the next assembly?"

"Oh, in a few years." He stroked his beard, "With your contribution to creating a cure for the plague, I'll be sure to send you an invitation."

I glanced back at Violet. That plastered smile on her face couldn't fool me. Not when I could see a vein in her forehead bulging from her rage.

She had obviously wanted to impress him to get into the conference.

Having been there before, I knew that they limited who could enter, relying almost entirely on the current members to bring in new ones who contribute to their field.

This was likely her one chance to get in. And I was stealing it right out from under her.

Muahahahaha! Take that bitch.

Now, I just needed to con er— convince these guys into helping me end the plague so I could go home faster.

***

Several difficult months later…

Little Spring, Salamander, Clear eyes and I gathered to say our farewells to Hu Huan and Head Physician Xiang You.

"I hope you both will live healthy lives." And long ones for mortals.

Little Spring grinned. "Thank you for your hospitality."

Hu Huan ran up to the kid and handed him a rock or something that seemed significant between them. The two had become friends since their ages were so close and since they'd both experienced similar upheavals.

After much persuasion, Xiang You had adopted the little mortal into his family as a favor to me… Also because he'd come to care for the child after looking after him for so many years.

Surprisingly, the kid had spent the whole fight sitting on the toilet and completely missed everything. That may have been for the best, though it probably left him a bit traumatized.

I looked to Sword Master Salamander, who had reached the peak of Golden Core and was almost ready to go through his tribulation.

In my past life, he only made it to this level when I turned 25.

::I don't have any gold or silver…:: I explained to Salamander. ::Sword Master, can I borrow some, and I'll pay you back in spirit stones?::

He sent me a look. ::The last time I used mortal currency was around twenty years ago… I think I might have a few coins somewhere?::

We both turned to Clear Eyes Mad Tongue. ::Bring out your silver and gold.::

The teen rolled his eyes and waved his hand in front of the two mortals. A small chest of silver teals in the Empire's currency appeared in front of them.

I tossed him a spirit stone to pay him back for it and he looked insulted.

Hey, not all of us had a master who could bankroll our cultivation. Some of us had to be our own masters.

I turned to the Head Physician. "This should be enough for Little Huan's education."

He wiped the sweat off his forehead using a handkerchief. "I-I believe so. You don't have to do this. You already saved our city!"

Of course I did. I needed to get rid of any karmic ties I made because of my promise to Hu Xiaofan. I was currently outsourcing most of my responsibility to Xiang You.

"Also, if the child is ever in danger, break this." I handed him a token I carved out of jade and embedded with a piece of my will inside of it, similar to the one I left with my body's original parents. "I promised his mother that he'd live a long mortal life and I intend to keep that promise."

"Yes, Master Alchemist Lin!"

I was just glad the kid didn't ask to come with us.

***

Our team and the alchemists from the Guild, gathered together outside of the palace in front of City Lord Long Jiaye. It was time to officially leave.

"Thank you everyone from the Alchemists' Guild." He bowed to them, then went on for a few minutes, extolling how they'd helped.

Violet, who had been shockingly quiet over the past few months, hid a smirk behind her fan. It was like the bitch thought she was the only one who deserved the praise.

Senior Red Leaf nodded. "The Guild will remember your hospitality."

"I and the Empire also would like to thank the cultivators from the Indomitable Will sect." He bowed deeply to us. "And I am grateful to you for helping save my citizens directly after the disaster."

"We only did what needed to be done," I said.

The City Lord then placed several chests in front of each team for us to take back to our organizations.

Most of ours were full of raw materials that our sect could use, like local herbs and metals. He also had his maids give each cultivator a small box with local spiritual ores as a token of his gratitude. They weren't rare, but this wasn't exactly a rich area.

But I could use them to create armor for Little Spring and myself. We'd need a good set for our tribulations.

"And to Master Alchemist Lin. I'd like to give you this in appreciation for all the work you've done to help the city and the empire through this plague."

He handed me a box. Using my divine sense, I looked inside to find a rare spiritual fruit in stasis.

Violet Pill Fairy sent me a glare.

What? It wasn't like she could use it since she was already in Golden Core.

"I had planned to have a Perfected Golden Core medicine made from this when I reached the peak of Foundation Establishment, but I might not reach that realm in my life. I'd rather give it to someone who will need it."

I kind of liked this City Lord. When his people were in trouble, he did everything in his power to prevent the spread of the plague. He'd listened to our advice without complaint. There were even rumors going on about how he fought off the vines during the Demonic Slaughter Formation incident and protected those he could.

There were no rumors going around about him doing weird or extremely heinous things behind closed doors, and he treated everyone decently enough for this time period.

He may have ignored me when I first came here, but that had been my plan‌. As far as I was concerned, the guy was a rare decent person for someone in his position.

I scanned Long Jiaye with divine sense. Ah, there it was. A blockage from an old injury prevented him from continuing down his path.

::I recommend you get a Three Tears Qi and Blood Cleansing Dan from a good alchemist. It needs to be at least High Quality. Its effects might surprise you.::

His hand subtly shook. ::Thank you, Master Alchemist Lin!::

Whether him becoming a Golden Core cultivator would be a good thing or a bad thing, who knew? ::Just keep taking care of your city and people as well as you have been. Some cultivators look down on mortals, but we should never forget that we came from their number.::

He nodded.

As long as he did a decent job keeping everyone here safe, that would also help me take care of Hu Huan.

Now, it was time to go home and get my goddamn kiwis!

The City Lord returned to his palace leaving just the teams who were about to leave.

Before we could leave, Red Leaf walked over and greeted me. Violet and the others trailed behind him.

"Your official invitation arrived this morning." He handed me a jade token with the symbol of the Alchemists' Assembly. "I hope you'll agree to holding that lecture on Sky Rank Pills you mentioned."

And the Pharma Bitch looked like she'd just eaten something sour.

Muahahaha! I stole her spot and the bitch still couldn't do shit about it. But I didn't doubt that we'd meet again. And the next time, things might not end so peacefully between us.

I placed the token in my spatial ring. "Of course. And I look forward to your lecture on the control of strange flames in Golden Core."

He chuckled. "Ah! I almost forgot since I didn't have time to give them to you earlier!" He took out two large jade gourds. "The medicinal wine I've been brewing has finally finished fermenting. Gift one to that nephew you were telling me about. And keep the other for a special occasion... ah, when you're older."

Yeah. Giving wine to a near eleven-year-old, even if it was technically medicinal, wasn't really a cool thing to do, but there weren't laws against it.

"I'll be sure to drink it when I'm 'older' and have something to celebrate."

He looked at the gourds like he might be regretting his decision.

I took out a much smaller jade gourd that I'd filled with a diluted spiritual spring water. Something I could only give now that we had a whole sect backing us... with Little Spring's permission, of course. "My brother and I wanted to gift you with this before we left. We don't have much."

He quickly put it away before anyone could scan it with their divine sense. Smart man.

"As expected of Alchemist Lin and Apprentice Little Spring."

***

Peerless Resolve showed no hint of surprise when he saw me enter his hall, so someone must have spilled the beans... or he was getting better at not showing his emotions.

I grinned. "Nephew! I returned alive!"

He coughed. "I didn't doubt that you would."

"I even made a friend who I conned out of some good medicinal wine."

The tips of his lips turned down a little. There we go, some emotions. "Aunt Lin. You're too young to drink wine."

"Hey! I never said it was for me."

I pulled a gourd from my ring and handed it to him.

He took one look at it and his lips twitched as if he were about to break his forced facial paralysis again. "Well, I can't say no to a gift from my Martial Aunt."

I nodded. "Right? Now, do you have something for me?"

"Of course, I won't forget. You know, it took us a whole three months to gather all of these?" He waved his hand and a spiritual ring flew towards me. It was even better than the one I'd been given for winning the alchemy tournament! "You can keep the ring. It has a time stop function added to it to keep the kiwis and other ingredients fresh for when you eventually use them."

Wait... "You didn't have me stay there for three whole months just so you could gather these, right?"

"Of course not." He glanced to the right.

"Because, if you needed three months to get the ingredients, all you had to do was tell me."

He cleared his throat. "Little Aunt Lin. I thought it would be safer than staying here. While you were away, I made some progress toward finding the demonic cultivators within the sect."

"Were you able to find them all?"

He sighed. "I only found a few more, but I haven't outed them yet. For now, I'm using them to track down the others. I've also been intercepting their communications to find out what they're planning next." He paused. "Be careful while in the sect, Martial Aunt Lin."

"Always."

Eye scanned me with his divine sense. "I'd hoped that you'd use the time while you were out to transcend your tribulation. You've been sitting at the peak of Qi Condensation since before you arrived here."

I grimaced. Maybe I should just tell the truth. Well, some of it. "As the disciple of an immortal, my tribulation... will be very difficult to transcend."

His eyes narrowed. "How difficult?"

"I wouldn't be surprised if someone at the end of Foundation Establishment would barely pass it... I also wouldn't be surprised if it suddenly became harder than that."

Considering that the last time I attempted to transcend a tribulation I fucking died I seriously questioned my luck when it came to them.

"Then what's your plan?"

Just thinking about going through another death-seeking tribulation sent a weird chill down my spine.

I had time. I was still very young and already at the peak of Qi Condensation. No one could say that I was slow, even if I delayed it for a decade.

Except that I didn't exactly have a decade.

While my soul and body were currently stable, there was always a possibility that I'd need to use my divine sense at a higher realm than my frame could handle. And that would put me right back into the situation I had been in before.

"It will take every possible thing I can throw at it in order to survive. So..."

***

I rushed to our courtyard and found Little Spring practicing the sword. Ever since I'd been hurt while trying to stop the demonic formation, he'd been dedicated to training. He'd finally realized that strength was nothing without the skill to wield it.

He jumped when he saw me. "Ah! Sister Lin!"

"I need to start preparing to transcend my Foundation Establishment Tribulation."

"That means you'll have to travel more, right?"

I nodded.

He bit his lip, cast a cleaning technique on himself, then ran up to me.

"I made a lot of mistakes while on this sect mission, but please keep taking me with you! I'll work so hard that I catch up."

Catch up to me? Brat. You're a thousand years too young. "Where is this coming from?"

"Please?" The kid tugged on my sleeve and looked up at me.

I sighed. "Originally, I hadn't been planning on picking up any missions for a while. This one was supposed to be special because it was an emergency."

He eyed me with obvious doubt.

Brat.

"Regardless. It's good that you're trying to attempt the impossible. There are worse goals to have than being as badass as myself." I smirked.

He looked a bit exasperated.

"However, everyone is different. Lean into your differences and make them unique."

"Yes, Sister Lin!"

"Another reason we need to work on increasing our realm — a war with the demonic cultivator sect is going to occur, eventually." It may even come sooner than I'd originally expected. "If we're going to survive it. We'll have to get stronger."

"That also means more training, right?"

"That is part of it. Especially for you. You'll have to start seriously working on your immortal cooking if you want to be able to make those body cultivation meals."

His eyes sparkled at the prospect. "I'm planning on spending the contribution points I earned to have a Golden Core master instruct me."

"Be sure to do that before we leave."

"Wait? Leave?"

"I also signed us up for a sect mission." Before he could frown, I continued, "We'll need to hunt down crab spiritual beasts during the upcoming Great Crab Migration. Not only do their shells make great additional ingredients for spiritual armor, but I hear their meat goes well with immortal cuisine."

He frowned. "Won't that take a lot of time? And we just returned from a mission."

After waving my hand as if I could wave away his concerns, I said, "It's fine. This is just a short mission. It will take us less than two months."

Dark eyes bore into me with the skepticism of an old man who'd seen it all.

I grinned. "But let's not focus on the things that will happen. Right now, we should celebrate! We just cured the demonic vine plague and made it back alive and well!."

I retrieved the extra bottle of spiritual wine.

Technically, I was older. A day older.

Little Springs' eyes grew wide. Probably because I'd told him that wine wasn't healthy for growing kids. Even the spiritual kind.

Then I pulled out two small cups. First, I poured a little into each glass, then I drowned it in spiritual spring water, knowing that it would purify the drink and remove any of the adverse effects normally associated with alcohol, including intoxication. This was all while keeping the flavor.

The kid scowled.

"What? We have the bodies of children. I will not give us actual wine."

I had just pulled the equivalent of taking out a champagne bottle, pouring a child some, only for them to take a sip to realize that it was sparkling apple cider all along.

"Congratulations on a successful first Sect Mission!"

He grinned. I showed him how to clink our cups together, then we both drank wine-flavored spiritual spring water. And I got to watch as the kid made a face like he just tasted something nasty.

"Why would anyone want to drink this?"

Muahahahaha!

Story 8 - Tribulation Troubles (1 ?)

[Author's note: Due to the author's poor health, this part is, unfortunately, shorter and hasn't been content edited, so some areas may change later. It has been line-edited to the best of the sick author's ability.]

As we faced each other on the training grounds, I eyed Sword Master Salamander's classic stance. It was perfect for this time period.

But it wasn't perfect for Salamander.

With the ease of motion from hundreds of years of practice, I placed my feet in the form that he taught me. The one he'd wished he'd known about when he was younger.

He frowned. "The way you hold yourself is too loose."

I almost snorted. "Are you sure that it's my stance that's too loose and not yours that's too stiff?"

"Impossible."

Muahahaha.

Months after we solved the plague and the crab-mission-that-we-don't-talk-about, our schedules all finally aligned enough that I could 'request some pointers' from my friend.

Basically, he thought he was going to give his Little Martial Aunt some advice — instead, I was here to kick him onto the right path... with my sword.

Giving him this stance was part of that.

Unfortunately, the realizations he needed to achieve from this stance were something I couldn't tell him. He needed to figure it out on his own before he reached Nascent Soul.

Because there was more to it than simply holding one's limbs casually and breathing a certain way. It had to do with the truths of the universe. Whether he could decipher them or not would be up to him and his luck.

I broke my stance and rested the flat of my blade against my shoulder like a gangster. "How about we make a bet?"

He raised an eyebrow.

Then we both stepped to the side to let Little Spring fly past.

The kid's body, which had grown a lot in the past few months, hit a massive egg-shaped boulder in the training ground. With a crack, it split in half.

[Insert Image]

However, unlike the last time I saw him crash into a rock, I knew he'd be fine.

Those recipes had actually improved our body cultivation, as well as Little Spring's cooking skills — though part of that, I grudgingly admitted, was thanks to his new immortal chef teacher.

The kid hopped to his feet, practically uninjured, and ran back to Clear Eyes Mad Tongue.

"I wasn't ready!" He stood back in the same stance that I'd been using earlier, a determined look on his face.

"Well, are you ready now?"

He nodded, then started exchanging blows.

Whatever. As long as they were having fun.

Salamander cleared his throat. "What do you have in mind for the bet?"

Ah, we were getting serious. "You suppress your cultivation to the peak of Qi Condensation, and we'll spar. If you win, I'll change my stance to match yours, but if I win, you have to practice my version for a week, or until you gain inspiration from it."

Okay, maybe I was as subtle as that boulder Little Spring just broke, but the results were what mattered.

"Isn't that too low of a bet?"

Oh… now he had my attention. "You want to add something more?"

He pulled out a mini pagoda spiritual tool. It was red and gold, with tall square windows and curved roofs. The whole thing looked like an adorable, tiny replica.

I couldn't stop my eyes from focusing on it. "That is a Heaven rank defensive tool. One that could take several hits from a Nascent Soul."

He nodded. "I am planning on using it in an emergency when I go through my tribulation. However, if I lose, then I'll lend this to you when you face your own."

A rechargeable tool like this could, for as long as its charge lasted, protect me from a few of the more powerful lightning strikes I'll inevitably have to face.

Since I didn't trust the heavenly tribulation to not fuck me over, I had to ask, "What if I break it before you can use it?"

He laughed. "How could a Qi Condensation tribulation even scratch the surface of this tool?"

Considering my luck with tribulations? I wasn't taking any chances.

"Answer the question."

He chuckled. "Fine, if you break it, then it will be on me for losing to you."

"You have something in mind that you want from me."

"I need a few pills created."

I scowled. "You could just pay me for that, you know."

He looked up into the sky as if there were troubles in this world that a young child like me could never know.

I wanted to pinch him.

"Sword Master Salamander, did you spend all your spirit stones and contribution points on this pagoda and supplies for your sword?"

He coughed. "Not all."

"Then did you spend the rest on spiritual herbs to make the pills you need?"

"They were prohibitively expensive." He blushed. "Look, Martial Great Aunt Lin, sword cultivators are known for our righteousness and—"

"Your often empty pockets."

Very few sword cultivators picked up additional skills, like alchemy or formation mastery. This meant that the sole way for them to make money was by using their sword.

This was fine, except that it limited their spirit-stone-making opportunities to things that put themselves in danger.

Well, his pocket wouldn't stay empty for long. But he probably didn't have enough money to hire an alchemist to make the pills for him. Even me.

I'd give him the friend and mentor discount, but I wasn't working for free unless I benefited in some way.

"Alright. I agree to these terms."

Then I ducked as Little Spring flew over my head, landed on his feet, and ran back.

"Gonna say that you weren't ready, again?!" Clear Eyes taunted.

"Shut up!" The kid sent a slash of sword Qi towards the teen.

"Maybe we should move?" I gestured to an open space that had just cleared up.

He nodded.

We relocated ourselves to an open area. Several sword cultivators must have overheard us because they called over several friends and started seriously studying us.

Even Little Spring and Clear Eyes figured something was up, stopped their spar, and ran over.

Well, if they were just going to do that in the first place, why the hell did we need to move? Whatever.

I once again stood across from Salamander in a loose stance, with the pointy end of my sword aimed at him.

He stood in the old way, his eyes on mine.

We both went through the mental gymnastics of what we could do next while trying to hide our intentions in stillness.

"What are they doing?" Little Spring whispered to Clear Eyes.

"I've been told that masters will sometimes have a psychological battle before fighting for real. Right now, they're playing out an intense fight inside their minds."

"Are you sure they aren't just waiting for someone to say go?"

Someone in the crowd coughed.

Salamander and I both moved at the same time, sending a blade of sword Qi out. This was a test, and something he often did at the beginning of friendly spars.

Our Qi crashed together and canceled each other out perfectly.

His eyebrows raised. Then, instead of resorting to a powerful single strike or one that sent many blades out like Ten Cuts, he swerved his blade.

A snake-like sword Qi slithered toward me. Tricky. Using something like the Snake Blade technique to gauge my limits.

But I was ready for it… and for the actual attack that was concealed within.

I sent out a Snake Blade of my own and a hidden stabbing-type attack. Then I stepped back as Salamander jumped over our colliding energy and stabbed at me with his physical sword.

Our blades crashed together. He was older and a man, which meant that he had more mass and better reach, but I had body cultivation nearing the peak of Qi Condensation.

As I caught his sword with mine and deflected it, I grinned.

We exchanged several more blows that I canceled out.

When he physically stabbed toward me, I stepped to the side and placed my sword at his neck a half second before he placed his own at the back of mine.

"I believe this is my win, Sword Master."

"Are you sure about that, Great Martial Aunt?"

"You think I got lucky when I canceled out your attacks?"

"Maybe, but this doesn't prove that your stance is better than my current one."

You're the one that created it in my last life, you weirdo. "And that is why you have to practice it yourself to see if it works better for you. Sword Masters should never forget their fundamentals since, more than any other cultivation method, it's the one that relies on them the most."

He blinked. "Are you sure I'm the one teaching you?"

Ah, Salamander was always too smart for his own good. I coughed.

With a smile, he said, "I concede. Now, show me what's so special about this stance of yours, Little Senior Lin."

I waved Little Spring and Clear Eyes over and started my lecture. A few of the smarter disciples also stayed behind and listened in.

"Qi cultivators are different from sword cultivators, however, we practice the sword the same way you do." At least in this Xianxia universe. "We use sword Qi, though it's handled differently in our bodies. That said, there is enough overlap that it's easy to…" I noticed a few eyes had glazed over, including the brat's.

Whatever. My intended audience was listening, and that was what mattered. While I doubted that he'd have an epiphany from this lecture, it should improve his chances to have one later.

Story 8 - Tribulation Troubles (2 ?)

After a good twenty minutes of lecturing how to do the stance while hinting at the deeper meaning behind it, I ended my lecture. "Remember, this stance doesn't work for all sword cultivators. But even if it doesn't, learning something new is better than not knowing it."

A couple of the kids vibrated with energy and immediately left to practice.

Little Spring scowled. "Isn't this just what you've always taught me?"

Brat. "You're fortunate enough to listen to my advice every day. These kids rarely get to talk to me. My time is precious, you know."

He pouted. "I know." Then Mad Tongue gestured at him to continue their sparring session. I waved him off.

He bowed and ran over to the teen.

When I glanced back at Salamander, his hand touched his bare chin. That was the same expression he had on his face when he was pondering the sword.

That new stance could help him further his path if he discovered its secrets.

Of course, there was always a risk. Knowing his Dao wasn't perfect could cripple him if he let it.

But I'd rather see him work through his issues early, while he was still young and malleable, than wait until he was old and set in his ways.

"I think that I'll have to try this stance out and see it working for myself."

The scientific method. I approved! "You should record how your techniques feel and how much damage they do before practicing it, then once again a week after using it. You might surprise yourself."

"And if it doesn't work out for the better, I can always go back."

I nodded. That was the nice thing about sword cultivation. A new stance or position didn't usually fuck with someone's Dao. At least, not in the same way it could for Dantian practitioners. Changing the looping pathways inner Qi traveled down could seriously fuck a person up.

Then again, that was just how this universe worked. Considering that most Xianxia I read in my past life didn't have many details about shit like this, it was hard to tell.

The dumbass author may have thrown every type of cultivation into this world but — and I grudgingly gave him this credit — he also put in effort to make it work.

At least, I assumed he did.

Since I'd never read the original, he could have just tossed everything together like a big Xianxia salad and let the universe figure itself out.

I stepped up beside my teacher and grinned.

"So, Sword Master Salamander, when are you going to lend me your little pagoda?"

"When you finally call down your tribulation. Don't think that I don't know that you've been holding it back for at least a year now."

"I still have a lot of things to prepare for it."

"Isn't that the same thing you always say to everyone who asks about when you'll be going through your tribulation?"

The fuck? Was this an intervention or a personal attack?

"With the inclusion of this pagoda, what other preparations do you even need to make?"

I sighed. "First, I need to finish my body cultivation." Little Spring and I still needed one last meal to reach the peak of Qi Condensation.

"Secondly, I want to forge a set of armor for myself." I was still waiting on supplies I ordered for that.

He raised a brow.

"And the last thing I have to do is find better wood. I need it to make stronger formation flags since my previous version was destroyed," I turned to Mad Tongue who was blocking an attack from the kid and yelled, "during the crab mission!"

"What happened on that mission, anyway?"

Clear Eyes ducked under an attack and called in from across the training ground. "We don't talk about the crab mission!"

"What he said."

"Fine. I won't ask." He sighed. "Great Martial Aunt Lin, there is such a thing as over preparation. Especially for something as small as a tribulation to reach Foundation Establishment."

"Yeah, well, I'll see if you can tell me that after you watch me go through mine."

"And when will that be?"

I cleared my throat. "You know, the lecture I just gave took longer than I realized. It's about time I get Little Spring to his lesson for immortal cooking." I pointed to the brat who was once again sent flying over the training ground thanks to a well-timed blow by Clear Eyes.

He landed on his feet and slid across the sand, leaving two distinct tracks. His sword wasn't stuck in the ground and instead he held it so it wouldn't get damaged pointlessly. Then the kid jerked his head towards me. "What? Already?"

Both of these brats gained something from today's sparring session. They probably wanted to continue, but it should be fine to leave now.

"Let's go! You shouldn't keep your teacher waiting."

While Little Spring bowed and thanked a scowling Clear Eyes Mad Tongue, I pulled out my flying sword and stepped on it.

Salamander stepped in front of me.

"Little Senior Lin, know that I'm not trying to push you."

"I do."

"While I've seen many cultivators who don't ever reach your level, I've also seen those who spend too much time preparing for their tribulation. They take so much time on one only to not have enough years left to reach their next." His gentle eyes showed me that he really was concerned. "I just don't want to see that happen to you."

Of course, I pointed to my face. "You realized that I'm only eleven, right?" I obviously had plenty of time.

He placed his palm on top of my head. "And yet, when you lecture, I feel like I'm in the presence of an old Immortal Ascension master."

Goddamn it. When would I look like the fucking adult I was?

I scowled up at him, and he removed his hand. Honestly, if I didn't know that he had no idea about how my soul actually looked, I'd think he was teasing me about my original stage.

"Okay. I wasn't trying to push you. I am only concerned. Just let me know when you decide to call down your tribulation and I'll send you my pagoda."

I grinned. Even if I didn't like it, I still appreciated the care of my mentor. He was the same in this life as he was in the last. "Let me know when you get an influx of spirit stones, and I'll work on those pills for you."

"Thank you, Great Martial Aunt Lin."

***

Out of all the weird groups within the Indomitable Will sect, the immortal chef cultivators were some of the oddest.

They didn't have a mountain of their own, so they were scattered throughout the foothills between the inner and the outer sect.

Technically, they were considered inner sect disciples, but they always felt like outsiders since their locations ranged so widely.

They cooked spiritual meals for the peaks that didn't practice grain liberation. Places like the massive mountain we called Beast Tamer Peak.

Many of the contracted spirit beasts here sampled the work of these chefs, even before any of the peak masters.

Since, in my last life, I used to avoid Beast Tamer Peak like it was the goddamn demonic vine plague; it had taken some time to get used to going there. Because that was where the chef Little Spring had chosen to teach him immortal cooking stayed a majority of the time.

Actually, I had regretted allowing him to find his own teacher as soon as I saw that she was the fucking shady chef who married Bloodsword in my past life — Fairy Garlic.She was the same woman I suspected of orchestrating the spirit rabbit incident.

I mean, who takes the pet her husband gives his master/wife — a living creature at that — kills it, cooks it, then blames it on her husband's martial sister?

Seriously, what the fuck was wrong with her?

Well, after a few classes, it was already too late… because she had agreed to continue to teach Little Spring for free.

I landed my flying sword at the entrance to her new open-air kitchen.

Little Spring tugged at my sleeve. "Could you please not get into an argument with Master Chef Garlic today?"

I eyed the brat. "I don't start the arguments with her, but I damn well end them."

Besides, it wasn't entirely my fault.

Back when I'd realized who the teacher was, I'd been on edge from seeing Verdant Bamboo.

The last thing I wanted to see was a creepy weirdo flirting with my almost ten-year-old martial brother like my past-life's master. Because of this, I stayed to watch several of their teaching sessions.

I'd gotten on the irritable chef's nerves a number of times only to—

"You're banned from the kitchen for a reason, you know," the brat said.

This was so fucking embarrassing.

While I was watching her help Little Spring with knife techniques to cut different types of meats, I saw her helping him adjust his stance. She'd gone behind him and grabbed his hand.

From my angle it looked like she was being inappropriate when she hadn't been.

I... may have started a fight with her that ruined a good section of her building, leading to it now being an open-air kitchen.

I cleared my throat and murmured, "That was my mistake. I thought she was a pervert."

"A what?"

"Someone who touches chi—" He looked so innocent that I couldn't say it. "Ah… someone who deserves to have their asses murdered."

"Ah."

"Remember, if anyone with a disgusting expression touches you somewhere you don't want, murder them. Or call for an adult."

His eyes hardened, and he nodded seriously.

Frankly, getting kicked out of the kitchen wasn't the worst thing that happened because of that incident. The worst thing that happened was—

"Apprentice Chef Little Spring. I thought I asked you not to bring your little girlfriend here."

The bitch always said shit like this, because she thought I was the protagonist's goddamn romantic interest.

Me! The anti-relationship, cultivation addict, old monster.

Little Spring looked exhausted. "Master Chef Garlic, Fairy Lin is my Older Martial Sister. I don't think she appreciates your teasing."

Damn straight, I didn't. I grabbed the jade sheath of my sword hairpin like I was about to throw down.

"Who is teasing?" Garlic threw her white hair over her shoulder and put her hand on her hip. Then she looked at me with glittering brown eyes.

Fuck. Maybe she was merely goading me into fighting her again. "I'm not falling for your instigation this time. I already made you several cooking spiritual tools to pay you back for the damages I did to your kitchen."

She grinned. "Well, your tools are surprisingly worth it. If you'd just let me buy more off you, I wouldn't have to resort to these tactics."

Yeah… instead of being a creepy fucker like Verdant Bamboo, she was a cooking-obsessed psychopath.

After getting to know her more in this life, I realized that, between her and Effervescent Sea Pearl, Bloodsword had a type — older, super attractive, and batshit crazy.

Or maybe it was that damn harem author who had a type.

Whatever.

Mentally, I threw up my middle finger at the chef. "I'm leaving. I'll be back here in four hours to pick him up."

"Apprentice Chef Little Spring, you should really consider moving in with the other apprentices here."

"Thank you for the offer but, I like staying with my older sister in our courtyard."

"But you'd get to be around other boys your age, which would be a far better influence than hanging around your strange girlfr—martial sister."

I closed my eyes and reminded myself that I could not punch this bitch because I could not afford the time and metal to make more spiritual tools for her.

I'd punch her after I transcend my tribulation and could actually take on a golden core practitioner. Of course, there were also things I'd done to secretly get back at her... like steal all of her chicken-type spiritual beasts and return them the next day.

I mean, I would have kept them, but they were pecking at the spiritual herbs in the space.

"Master Chef Garlic, my sister is the best teacher for everything aside from cooking."

I glared at the psychopathic chef. "I have other things I have to do, so I'll leave now."

Little Spring waved goodbye while Fairy Garlic just smirked at me before starting a lecture on the next immortal chef technique the kid was going to learn.

She wasn't my favorite person, but she was — fucking unfortunately — a fantastic teacher. And she at least didn't bug me about my tribulation.

Story 8 - Tribulation Trepidations (Part 3

Since I was no longer welcome to watch Little Spring's lessons, I headed over to the Sect Leader's hall.

I entered the side area where disciples filed reports and finished paperwork. A few of them talked excitedly while others quietly handed jade slips to each other.

Daoist Early Rise Swift Brush rushed down the bustling room. The young cultivator looked like he was about to burst with energy, figuratively.

His eyes widened and he slid to a stop right in front of me.

After hastily bowing, he said, "Great Martial Aunt Lin! I just had an epiphany on the Dao of Paperwork this morning!"

What?! Really? So soon?

I coughed and stood up straight, clasping my hands behind my back like the little master I was. "Very good! I knew the Dao of Paperwork would be perfect for you."

Well if anyone looked like they were born to push papers, it was Early Rise Swift Brush.

He nodded sagely. "I've recently taught it to some promising young peak disciples. Breaking it down to teach it to others helped me organize my thoughts and delve deeper into its secrets." He clasped his hand in an encouraging fist. "Soon, all the paperwork on the Indomitable Peak will get finished faster than in any other sect!"

"That sounds like a solid goal to start out with."

His eyes glittered in a way that made me think he was looking for more direction. Shit. What do I say?

"Always keep in mind that there is more to the Dao of Paperwork than the mundane."

His eyes widened. "Because Paperwork is used to navigate laws, and the universe is composed of laws? So if I can..."

He trailed off as if his mind was just blown, then a heavy universal energy rained down on him.

Another epiphany? Didn't he just get one?

"Oh! I'm about to transcend! I need to go."

The fuck just happened?

He pulled out his flying sword and rushed away. Probably to go through his tribulation.

What the hell kind of Dao did I just help invent? And there were going to be more practitioners?

Were the heavens tired of doing paperwork and decided to speed run clerks through their realms?

***

At the end of the lotus-themed hall, my friend, Peerless Resolve sat on his very uncomfortable-looking seat.

"Martial Aunt Lin, I heard you exchanged swordsmanship notes with Sword Master Salamander."

"And I won."

Despite his attempts to have a blank face, I could see his exhaustion in the slight downturn of his lips and the few wrinkles around his eyes. "Doesn't this break the low profile image you keep agreeing to cultivate?"

There were just some things I needed to happen, and this spar had been one of them.

"I mentioned that I'd try to cultivate it." I waved off his concerns. "It's fine. It's not like I beat him while he was at his full cultivation level."

"He's a sword cultivator, and you're not," he deadpanned.

"Salamander took his defeat well."

My friend looked exasperated. "Regardless of how he takes it, doing something like this will put you back on the radar of the demonic cultivators."

He was right, and I was downplaying the dangers.

I knew that.

But I also saw that Salamander was on the cusp of transcending his Nascent Soul Tribulation, and there were things he needed to practice and discover before he did.

Considering that it had been months since I'd last heard the sect leader talk about demonic infiltrators, I figured this might also help shake them up a bit. Maybe get my friend's investigation rolling again.

"If the demonic cultivators have a list of disciples to watch out for, they would have put me on it when I destroyed part of Fairy Garlic's kitchen, or when I cured the plague."

My old friend looked at me as if I were a ball of trouble that had rolled into his formation and knocked down half the flags.

"Actually, it would have been when you first entered the sect." He cleared his throat. "And since we're speaking of the demonic sect — I have news that they're going to try something drastic soon."

"I doubt that they'll attack the sect directly. At least not right now."

"Not directly. I don't want to discuss it. Any significantly different actions taken could alert these infiltrators and put our disciples in danger. For now, just be careful and keep a low profile."

Sometimes I wonder if he's met me. "I'll try."

I mean, it was hard to not show how incredible I was when a mere joke of mine could turn into a whole new style of cultivation. But, I knew how to be subtle when necessary.

"Also, I think you should finally transcend your tribulation... for your own protection."

I frowned.

"I understand that you've been putting it off until you're ready, but you don't need to be prepared for every possible eventuality."

I raised my hand to pause him, but he continued.

"Your increased difficulty is causing you some stress. But you shouldn't put it off much longer. Doing so could give rise to inner demons."

Me? Have inner demons? Ridiculous. Honestly, he should just relax. I had this handled. I wasn't worried, I just... needed to be completely prepared for every possible eventuality.

"There are still a few more preparations I have to make. But I'll go through it soon."

"You've said that for months now. How soon is soon? A week? Two?"

"I have a mental list of things I need to ensure I get out of my tribulation alive. Once I have everything on the list, I'll call it down."

"From what I heard, Salamander is even letting you borrow his new pagoda defensive treasure."

"While that will be useful, anything could happen during a tribulation."

"Like what?"

"Some malicious person could get close to me, increasing the difficulty of my tribulation."

"Aunt Lin, while that is a real risk, it rarely happens as long as you prepare a good place to transcend."

"I already have a few spots picked out."

"Then why don't we head to one of them now? We can even call over Salamander and have him give you the defensive tool."

I sighed. "As good as that tool is, I can't stand inside it and breeze my way through. Doing that would just anger the heavens and cause me to fail."

"I wasn't suggesting that you just stand there."

"But that's what I'd have to do if I don't complete my preparations. Trust me, Nephew. I know what I'm doing."

Despite his nearly blank face, he looked unconvinced. I didn't blame him. If some 11-year-old girl told me what I told him, I'd have an even worse reaction.

"Besides, I haven't finished my body cultivation. How can you expect me to transcend without completing something so integral to my foundation?"

"Fine. Just try to do it sometime within the next week or two."

I was an Immortal Ascension Stage monster. I wasn't scared of a silly Qi Condensation tribulation that had the strength of Foundation Establishment.

***

After working for a few hours at the Sect Leader's hall, I finally received a secret sound transmission from my new favorite black market dealer.

The thing about sects was that if I went through legitimate sources, I would get what my contribution points paid for. This was technically the only way to buy things within the sect.

But disciples in the know, like myself, knew better.

There were secret monthly markets where inner sect members gathered covertly to trade or sell.

Then there were a few shady individuals on each peak who were always open for a profitable transaction.

Disciples called these individuals black market dealers or fucking-shameless-conmen.

If these dealers didn't recognize what they had, a clever customer could profit off them. Of course, if the customer wasn't careful, a bag of medicinal herbs would actually be full of poison.

For an expert like myself, these were people who would always make a loss. But they usually made so much from their other ignorant clients that it didn't matter too much.

I activated the simple obfuscation token I'd made. It changed my face, deepened my voice, and blurred my silhouette.

Once satisfied, I entered the rendezvous point.

This particular dealer had set up at an abandoned immortal cave that had lost all of its spiritual energy long ago.It also had a lot of scorch marks on it from where the poor disciple who used to cultivate within it tried to transcend their tribulation.

Considering how empty the place was, they probably failed. They must not have had enough of an area to move around. A critical error in judgment on their part.

"Are you seriously not going to give me my spirit stones back?" A man raged at the small cloaked black market dealer. While he also used an obfuscation token, his wasn't very good. I made out a weird silver eagle hanging from his waistband.

A girl's young voice echoed through the cave, but it had obviously been changed due to her sky ranked Obfuscating Cloak."Dear Customer, as I told you at the time of your purchase — you couldn't return items you've purchased."

"You said that they were high-quality Emperor Jade stones."

"I said that they were mined near where high-quality Emperor Jade stones were found. And they are technically jade."

"But they have no spirituality. They may as well be rocks. Why should I give you spirit stones for this?"

"There are no returns or exchanges." My black market dealer gestured to me. "And my next customer is here. Please leave."

"I'm never coming here again!"

"Thank you!"

He stormed toward the exit. The guy and that eagle pendant looked familiar. I was pretty sure I'd seen him before in my past life, but I couldn't remember where.

Well, whatever. I had shit to buy!

Unfortunately, before he passed me, he stopped and leaned over.

In a threatening voice, he said, "You should just use contribution points at the Indomitable Peak's treasure pavilion. All these black market dealers are frauds and tricksters."

I shrugged. "The girl used your greed against you. It's not her fault you were too ignorant to notice."

Compared to all the nasty schemes of the internet conmen from my past-past life, these dealers were tame.

He blushed. "You're lucky I don't have time for this." He then flicked his sleeve and took off on his flying sword.

I watched him go, then eyed my dealer. "He's likely going to send a sect enforcer over soon."

While I couldn't see her through her obfuscating hood, her obvious amusement came through when she said, "He has to file a complaint about me first. Either way, we better make this quick."

She sat down on the stone cave floor.

After a swift cleaning technique that earned me a startled jerk from the cloaked figure, I took a seat in front of her.

"Was that really necessary, dear customer?"

"Absolutely."

She pulled out a melted crimson metal piece about the size of my hand. "This broken shard was once part of an Immortal Ascension cultivator's sword. It's made from Three Star Red Titanium. Which was exactly what you were looking for."

Then she placed several large folded pieces of dark gray leather next to it. "I also received this in the same shipment. The hide from a Magnificent Black Rhino — a spiritual beast that reaches stage 5."

Then she pulled out a familiar tree that awkwardly took up half the space of the cave and had to bend a bit to fit inside it. Its leaves tickled my hair. I awkwardly tilted my head so it wouldn't touch me.

She coughed and rubbed her shadowed face in embarrassment, but didn't apologize. Yeah, she probably shouldn't have taken it out inside the immortal cave. At least the ceiling was high in here, and this spiritual version of this tree was very bendy.

The girl must have had a very special bag to keep a whole tree in there without it losing its energy.

After scanning everything with my divine sense, I confirmed my suspicions. This was definitely what I was looking for.

"I'm not sure why you need this, but I happened to have a contact who imported it over here."

"It's called a Spiritual Rubber Tree. This one is exactly the size I requested, too."

"Then shall we go over pricing?" She pointed to the Red Titanium. "Ten mid-grade spirit stones. The Leather is very hard to come by, but I'll give you a deal since you're a repeat customer. Twenty mid-grade. And because of how far my contacts had to travel to find such a weird tree, it's two mid-grade."

I batted away the leaf that kept touching my head. It slapped my forehead. Doing my best to ignore it, I cleared my throat. "The tree's price is fine since it's an item I specifically requested, but this sword shard is not worth ten mid-grade spirit stones. It's not even worth 10,000 regular ones."

Story 8 - Tribulation Trepidations (Part 4

"What do you mean it's not worth ten mid-grade spirit stones? It was the sword of an immortal! I'm giving you a huge discount here." my black market dealer crossed her arms.

I grinned. "It may have been an Immortal Ascension cultivator's sword — when they were in Golden Core — but it definitely isn't pure Three Stars Red Titanium. It's an alloy, which will have spiritual metals in it that won't work with the item I'm preparing."

The girl's whole body slumped. Her acting wasn't fooling me.

"Then what about the leather?"

"While this is the hide from a Magnificent Black Rhino, it's from a stage three."

"Does it help if I mention that it was made into leather using the most sophisticated techniques of the Su clan?"

"Do you think I'd believe that it was a master and not an apprentice who worked on it?"

She slumped even further. I had no mercy for this dealer.

"You're asking for 32 spirit stones for everything but I'll only give you 10." This was half the amount I was willing to spend on everything.

"Hey! Just getting these three treasures here cost me that much!"

Doubtful.

"How long before the sect enforcer reaches here? Half an incense stick's worth?" Of course, that could mean anything from five to thirty minutes. Basically, we had a very little time.

"The sect enforcers move slowly when it comes to black markets."

"Being questioned by them for a few days would be embarrassing."

"Better than being locked up for a month or two."

I grinned. "Don't you think we should speed this up?"

We stared at each other as if preparing for a duel.

If this had been a poorly done live-action movie of the Xianxia, I was positive the camera would have dramatically panned over her shadowy face, then over mine.

"27," she firmly said.

I snorted. "11."

Her slight jerk told me how offended she was by my low-ball counter.

"While this leather isn't as good ‌as I'd originally said, it's still well made. It has no defects. And this fragment would be perfect for a small blade. Together they should be worth at least 23!"

"Oh? Then what's this?" I pointed to a damaged part of the leather that was hidden by the crease.

She clutched her heart as if I had stabbed her with my sword.

"But the shard—"

"Is only going to be used for armor."

She pretended to cough up a mouthful of blood. "Dear customer," she whined weakly.

"15," I countered.

"At least bump it up to 17. There might be a defect on the leather, but it's not in an awkward place to cut."

Considering my plans for it... "Agreed."

The girl was good at what she did. I handed her the mid-grade spirit stones.

With a wave of my arm, I sent everything into the space.

I could hear the smile in her voice as she put my hard-earned stones into her storage bag and said, "Thank you for the business, dear customer. I hope these items help you with your tribulation preparations."

She must have seen my peak of Qi Condensation cultivation and put two and two together.

"Don't remind me. Everyone has been on my case about it."

Her hood bobbed up and down from her exaggerated nod. "Don't listen to them. Be sure to take all the time you need. My father..." She cleared her throat. "He thought his preparations were enough for his own tribulation. Everyone said he was fully prepared. But after he entered his immortal cave, lightning struck it over and over again."

She slammed her fist into her palm repeatedly, mimicking the familiar rhythm of the strikes.

The smacking sound reverberated through the cave.

When she paused, a slight chill zipped down my spine.

"He never came back out."

I cleared my tight throat. "My condolences."

The tribulation that I held back seemed to tap and roll at the edge of my consciousness. Almost as if it laughed at me.

Ha! I wasn't scared of some mere Foundation Establishment level tribulation.

I'd been hit by so much lightning in my last life that a few more bolts were insignificant.

And once I finished all my preparations, it wouldn't be able to kill me! Muahahahaha!

"Excuse me, dear customer, we should leave now!"

I sent out a pulse of my divine sense and felt a cultivator hurrying over towards our position. Shit!

My dealer ran deeper into the cave. I figured she had a secret tunnel or a place she could hide.

Technically, so did I.

I waited for the enforcer in a small alcove at the entrance. Right before he stepped inside, I went into the space long enough for him to get far into the abandoned residence.

When I returned, I couldn't see him, but I heard him chase after the dealer.

Maybe she'd been counting on my presence, holding him up for a few minutes to help her escape. Poor girl had some bad luck.

I pulled out my flying sword and left like a goddamn boss.

It was time to go pick up Little Spring.

***

Now that I had a second to think, my black market dealer was odd. Well, there were a lot of strange disciples in the sect, so I couldn't exactly hold it against her.

Between her smooth exit, the burn marks on the floor, and the story about her father, I had a conjecture.

The girl was probably using her father's old residence as one of the various places she conducted her shady business.

With her contacts being so good, she likely inherited her shop as well.

Whatever. It wasn't any of my concern.

As I landed in front of Garlic's open-air kitchen where a small crowd of adorable little chefs gathered.

A young girl with a high ponytail, a boy with a red headband, and another disciple with sunken cheeks sat at an outdoor table. These three appeared to be taste testers?

Little Spring stood between Garlic and the crowd with his arms crossed. Obviously, the kid was participating in whatever this was.

A girl covered in more orange than the fruit walked up to the table. She set a small plate in front of each of the tasters. On each dish, several buns were artfully displayed. "This is my Xiaolongbao. The filling is a level 2 fish-type beast with a unique sauce that I created using a special technique. The dough was made from White Yang Spiritual Wheat Flour, which I processed myself."

Garlic observed from the side with her arms crossed.

This must be some kind of immortal chef duel.

Ponytail picked up one bun with her chopsticks and took a bite. Behind her, an illusion of a koi splashed water.

Oh shit! The girl had a very expressive Perfect Tongue special constitution. This was something I'd only seen in this universe... and maybe anime from my past-past life. But I didn't count those since it was from a completely different country and genre.

Perfect Tongue was an unusual body type that used the cultivator's spiritual energy to create illusions based on how good they found an immortal dish. That girl must be a rare talent.

"The spiritual fish in this bun was so nicely proportioned that I wished to keep eating. However, while the sauce paired well with the meat, it just wasn't flavorful enough. Still, it's very well done for your level. Eight out of ten."

Orange Robes nodded solemnly, then her burning eyes stared at Headband.

The taster's stiff face and darting eyes made him look like he wanted to escape.

He cleared his throat. "I found that the flavor was spot on. Mild and not fishy. It may not have suited my colleague's taste, but it was perfect for my palate. Ten out of ten."

Little Spring's orange opponent grinned triumphantly at him. He calmly waited for his turn like a professional. I honestly couldn't tell if the brat was nervous or not. Was the kid taking lessons from the sect leader or something?

Then again, he was so focused on this duel that he hadn't even noticed my arrival.

Sunken Cheeks nibbled at the bun until he'd consumed a quarter of it. Then he returned the rest to the plate.

"While it wasn't as flavorful as I would prefer, I found it excellent." Did he though? This young man looked like he'd rather eat anything except this xiaolongbao. "The spiritual energy received after consumption is where this attempt truly shines. After having only a quarter of one bun, I feel like I could run non-stop for a week."

Was that supposed to be a good thing?

"Nine out of ten."

With how Orange Robes smirked at my martial brother, I suspected that the last two had been paid off.

"Apprentice Chef Little Spring. Present your dish," Garlic said.

He pulled small plates with three adorable and perfect dumplings on them and placed them in front of each judge. A bowl of soy sauce with little slices of spiritual scallions next to the plate. The first thing to hit me was the delicious scent of the dish.

While I hadn't noticed the aroma from Orange Robe's xiaolongbao, Little Spring's dumplings made even my mouth water.

Then again, he had been tailoring his meals to me for over a year. "Simple fish dumplings."

This kid. Was he trying to be cute? Weren't chefs supposed to go on and on about their dish like the girl did?

Ponytail dipped the dumpling in the sauce, then put it in her mouth. Before she could fully bite down, she froze. It was like time had stopped. A tear ran down her cheek.

Even for the other judges — as soon as the dumpling entered their mouths, they froze.

Oh shit! Was it that bad? I mean, it had been a while since the kid had cooked me something barely edible, but it was always possible for him to fail.

Orange Robes tilted her chin up in triumph.

And that was when Ponytail finished her bite. The most colorful and solid illusion appeared behind her of a carp jumping over a dragon gate made of golden wheat.

"Simple?!" She slammed her hand against the table and stood up. Her accusing finger pointed at Little Spring. "You call this simple! I should beat you! You didn't mention how the boiled fish dumplings were topped with julienned Three Tears Ginger and Verdant Scallions, then drizzled with hot freshly made oil that gave it that perfect sizzle. Not to mention how beautifully the flavors of the fish go with this scallion infused spiritual soy sauce. What is wrong with you?"

The kid's cheeks turned red, and he coughed.

She sat back down. "Ten out of ten."

Look at him being a little protagonist... Though now I wondered if my meddling in the timeline somehow changed the damn genre.

"Thank you."

Orange Robes glared like she wanted to punch the brat. When her eyes fixated on the next judge she visibly calmed down.

Headband stared straight ahead, not looking at the girl at all. A bead of sweat ran down his forehead. Eventually, he focused on the kid. "Apprentice Little Spring, this dish was disgusting..."

The silence in the courtyard was so intense I could hear a talisman drop.

Then he continued. "Disgustingly good."

"The dough went well with the fish, but the ginger and soy sauce truly brought everything together." He sadly looked down at his empty plate. "I only wish that you'd made more."

He grimaced. "Unfortunately, the fish you used was only stage 1. Nine out of ten."

Really? The only thing he could berate was the rank of the ingredients, so he used that to take off a point.

Still, the fact that he made someone who was so obviously against him give him such a positive score showed how skillfully the kid prepared those dumplings.

Finally, it was Sunken Cheeks' turn. Surprisingly, his plate was completely consumed aside from a few bites.

"These dumplings were perfect in almost every way. Almost. Unfortunately, they're too small. Because of this, the amount of spiritual energy absorbed per dumpling is far too meager. Considering that the fish was only a stage 1 beast, this is a major flaw."

He paused, stealing the crowd's attention. "Eight out of Ten."

Little Spring winced.

Orange Robes' face turned red and her hands clenched into fists.

Oh, I would remember her. Also Headband and Sunken Cheeks.

They were kids, so I wasn't going to hurt them. But if they ever needed my help or tools in the future, I wouldn't mind bankrupting them.

Garlic stepped up. "Since you asked me to not be part of this duel, I won't say anything. Well, I will mention that this argument was stupid and I hope each of you learned a valuable lesson from this tie." With the way her face scrunched up, the last word must have given her an unpleasant aftertaste.

She should have done more to make the challenge fair.

I glared at her. She looked me in the eye and smirked. Fucking cooking psychopath.

"Apprentice Chef Little Spring, your little girlfriend is here to pick you up."

I pulled out my sword, started to walk toward her.

Before I could yell out a challenge, the brat ran forward and tugged on my sleeve. ::We have to use the rest of the metal to make your defensive items!::

Right. First, transcend my tribulation. Then I could come here to kick her wok-wielding-ass.

This bitch was too good at provoking me.

I pulled out my flying sword tool. With a gesture, I rose into the air. The kid followed me on his fan.

As the mountain grew smaller, he looked a little too contemplative.

"What was that duel about, anyway?"

His fan fell behind, then quickly caught up. "N-nothing important."

"If you don't want to talk about it, then it's either embarrassing for you or it's about me."

His jaw tightened. "It doesn't matter what it was about. They rigged the whole thing," he said. "It feels like I did all that work for nothing."

I smirked. "It was rigged… to fail. But you were so impressive that they had to come up with horrible rationalizations to remove points, and then they could only stand to give you a tie when you deserved to win. I'd say that shows how extraordinary your cooking skills have become."

He shook his head. "They may have been pulling out the only excuses they could find, but they were valid complaints. My dumplings were too small for the low level fish. This meant that the spiritual energy received from them wouldn't be worth the effort of eating them. If I'd had better ingredients, I could have improved my dish significantly."

"And if you'd thought about it earlier, you could have made larger dumplings to compensate."

"I won't make this mistake again."

"You've also learned some valuable lessons."

His eyes grew a little fiercer, and he nodded.

Story 8 - Tribulation Trepidations (Part 5

By the time we landed in our courtyard, Little Spring had fully recovered from the recent duel.

"I'm ready to make our last Qi Condensation body cultivation meal." The kid looked determined.

"Good! The last meal should increase our survivability significantly." We wouldn't be able to consume the Foundation Establishment meals if we didn't finish these.

"I'll be using the forge today, so there are some things I need to prepare. " When I took a step away, he tugged on my sleeve.

Large brown eyes blinked at me.

I swear the brat had weaponized adorableness.

Weren't kids supposed to get less cute with age?

I guess he still had four or five years before he became a gangly teen. Then he wouldn't be cute at all.

"Sister Lin… I was actually hoping you'd watch?"

Well, the only time I'd observed him prepare this cultivation meal from start to finish was the initial attempt. We had looked at the recipe together and I helped him decide which tools he needed. After that, the kid had to figure out the timing and process himself.

Of course, his first attempt had completely failed and almost caused the whole palace to explode.

"Do you want me to see how much you've improved?"

He nodded shyly. "The last time—"

"Was an important learning experience."

It was also a relief.

The kid was already growing up to do things too perfectly. If he didn't have serious setbacks now and then, he wouldn't get the chance to exercise his indomitable will.

That was something I'd had the chance to develop significantly in my past life since it was about endlessly trying until reaching success, then endlessly succeeding until reaching the peak.

Of course, because he had ruined so many meals over the course of 19 days, he'd wasted all five of the extra ingredient sets I'd allotted for this recipe. The last time had been just a couple of days ago.

And, despite my best efforts, I hadn't found another batch of these ingredients at a reasonable price.

Little Spring couldn't afford to fail again, and he knew it.

It wouldn't be a bad idea to make sure he didn't fuck up.

I grinned. "I can spare some time."

The brat seemed to fill with energy and vanished into his space.

I entered as well, making my destination the new kitchen.

The golden dragon spirit flew through the wall and blew imaginary fire at me.

I scowled at the spirit. "What was that for?"

"A reminder for you to plant that tree of yours."

Doubtful considering our recent cold war. Likely, he was just trying to get some frustration out since the current scoreboard had me in the lead by one.

I secretly flipped it off, and it flew away while spewing flames.

The kid sent me a curious look.

"I'll show you later. Right now, I want to focus on your progress."

I gestured towards the gleaming countertops and sparkling floor then sat at the small kitchen table and crossed my arms like a stern teacher observing my student.

Ever since the old shack had turned into a small palace, everything within it had seriously upgraded.

This room was one example. Every part was so clean and spotless all the time that it almost looked like a professional kitchen designed for a chef who practiced traditional Chinese cuisine from my past-past life. Of course, the modern-style tools I forged to help the kid may have contributed to that look.

Little Spring started to set up his workspace.

He pulled out and measured the specialized spices and pre-made sauce he'd worked so hard on creating.

Next, he waved his hand over the countertop. Several vegetables, a sack of rice, and a bag of flour appeared on the surface in a perfect line.

He even set aside a plate with the last of the spiritual tofu that took the both of us an hour to grind up and squeeze a few days ago.

This was a far cry from the stir-fried vegetables he first prepared for me.

His brows furrowed.

Maybe he was more tired than I thought? It couldn't have been easy to go from training, to studying, to dueling — only to come home and prepare one of the hardest meals he currently could.

"If you need it, you can take a break first."

He smirked and proudly puffed up his chest. "I'm fine. Chef Garlic taught me a method that uses less energy with better effects and I want to practice it. With it, I should enhance the effectiveness of the meal even more!"

"Just from the taste, I can tell that you've improved every day."

The rapid quality increase was so shocking that I attributed most of it to Garlic's teachings. Girl might be a cooking psychopath, but the bitch knew her shit.

Little Spring grinned.

"Just remember that if you fail this meal because you're experimenting with something new, you're dead."

He coughed, then nervously took out a chef's knife.

His eyes focused on the colorful veggies as he breathed in and out, calming his mind.

Suddenly he attacked a carrot, slicing it faster than I'd ever seen him before. His accuracy was astonishing. Each piece was the same size as the previous one.

Well, fuck. Did the kid spend the full day chopping cabbage and working on his blade techniques? He was a thousand times better than that instance a couple of years back when he'd awkwardly chopped a cauliflower and almost sliced his finger off.

Once all the veggies were sliced up and placed in separate bowls, he used the cleaning technique on the whole area, including his hands.

Good! That's what I liked to see! Then again, if he didn't already know how much better working with clean surfaces made a meal, I would have kicked him out of the kitchen until he did.

He poured some of the Hot Winds Spiritual Flour onto the counter, along with spring water and special secret ingredients, then let it sit.

This would become the start of his noodles. Was it Garlic who taught him that or had he picked it up from his mundane cooking?

The kid looked up at me and grinned. "I learned this two weeks ago."

He grabbed some spiritual seeds in one fist and crushed them while creating a hand seal. Oil poured from his fingers into a bowl.

I almost stood up from shock.

The last time we made oil, I had to make a whole damn spiritual tool to extract and process it. This single technique did it all! And from what my divine sense picked up, it kept more of the seed's energy!

The kid repeated that process until he'd filled the bowl.

Next, he used the cleaning technique on just his hands and started roughly kneading the dough. With one pat, he flattened it into an oblong pillow.

Then he threw it up into the air and punched it several times. Before it could fly across the room, he used Impossible Leap to catch it in a bowl!

I admit that when I taught him that technique, I never expected to see it used for immortal cooking.

The kid spun the bowl around and threw a moist cloth over it.

Fortunately, this was spiritual dough that was being processed using the technique of an immortal chef. It didn't need the normal long wait times and care that mundane dough would.

While Little Spring let that sit, he scooped a few handfuls of spiritual rice into a wok with spring water from Fairy Lake and had it soak on the side.

This would not only remove the impurities from the rice but also help increase the speed it cooked, something the kid had repeatedly explained.

The spiritual ingredient wasn't like the mundane rice of my past-past life that benefited from soaking for 24 hours. This would only need a few minutes before it was ready. Though the first time we tried it, I did have him soak it overnight... it turned into rice-water.

That spring water was just too powerful.

As if he were a cooking machine, the kid pulled a whole bulb of garlic. He used a hand seal to blast away the peels. Before the cloves could land on the counter, he waved his arm and sent the peels into his bag.

From there, he grabbed the bowl of fresh oil in one hand and the spiritual garlic in the other. Using his enhanced strength, he crushed them like softened butter. They dripped down, causing a bit of oil to splash up.

Sure... Why not use hands to crush something when there was a perfectly good mincing tool I spent my precious time forging?

I crossed my arms.

He glanced at me and had the grace to look sheepish.

Yeah. That's what I thought. Whatever. At least he'd used it for a short while.

After using the cleaning technique, he took a brief break to replenish his spiritual energy and drink some spring water.

Once he finished his preparations, he looked at me like he wanted something.

I gave him a thumbs up. "This is a much better setup than last time. Keep up the good work."

His cheeks turned pink. Then he grabbed a handful of flour, spread it on the countertop, and poured the dough ball on top of it. He pressed it and used a hand seal I didn't recognize to flatten it. Then he rapidly and repeatedly folded it over.

Somehow it became a hard-looking box with perfectly sharp corners.

I know I watched the entire process, so how the hell did he turn soft dough into that?

Whatever. As fascinating as that technique was, I was no chef. And I never would be since I had zero interest in learning to cook.

If Little Spring hadn't studied it, I'd have returned to practicing grain liberation.

Next, he started five earthen flames on the stove I'd MacGyvered into something like a combination of a modern stove and the traditional style the kid was used to using.

With an incredible amount of speed and precision, he placed the covered rice over one flame then, a wok full of lake water over another.

He grabbed three smaller pans and generously poured oil into two of them.

When he scooped the crushed garlic and oil into the last pan, it started sizzling.

These next several steps were where things became complicated and where I'd seen him fuck up.

With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the plate of tofu high into the air. Before it could land, he aimed his blade at it and slashed. "Cube!"

Several small blades of sword Qi left his chef's knife and entered the soft white box. It sliced up the tofu from the inside.

I almost stood up in shock at the precision! While I knew he'd been working on his Qi-type skills, I hadn't seen him use them in a crafting capacity like this! Well done, brat.

He caught the spiritual tofu in one of his pans. They landed like bouncy cubes.

With the wave of his hand, he pulled a bowl of the prepared spices over. It sprinkled onto the tofu, then he grabbed the handle and tossed the cubes high into the air. With a simple hand seal, the spices covered everything evenly. Then he caught everything. Not even a single piece bounced away!

In another pan, he haphazardly threw in all the vegetables he'd diced and placed a bamboo lid over it.

I had no idea if there was a method here or if he really was just throwing things together.

At this point, the scent of garlic practically took over the kitchen.

He removed the garlic oil pan from the fire and threw in another of the bowls full of ingredients he prepared earlier. After a quick whisk, he poured it into a large jade gourd, finishing the Three Fires Garlic Chili Oil.

Its scent lingered, causing even my mouth to water — and I'd eaten the same fare nineteen times in a row!

He had so many things going on at this point that I half wondered if he'd mastered the Split Mind technique.

But I knew he hadn't, which meant that he still had a chance at ruining this meal. If that happened, we'd have to scramble for a duplicate set of ingredients.

I might even have to beg my martial nephew to help pay for it. Because I would never allow us to fail our body cultivation before reaching Foundation Establishment.

That would make all those Kiwis that I forced—er, coerced Peerless Resolve to collect for me completely useless.

As Little Spring stood in front of the stoves, controlling multiple fires, he appeared to be a mini emperor observing his court of immortal dishes.

The water he'd let sit started boiling. Instead of leaving the flames alone like I'd have expected, he used a hand gesture to turn them down to the minimum. Then he lassoed the block of dough with his spiritual energy and swung it over to the water until it hovered in midair. Next, he grabbed a special knife and quickly shaved thin slices of the dough into the water, creating the noodles.

As soon as the first noodle hit the surface, it steamed.

A slight afterimage of a stalk of the White Yang Wheat used to create the flour briefly appeared over the wok. Once the entire block was shaved, the bubbles increased significantly.

Ah, that was why he turned down the flames! The yang energy of the flour caused the heat to increase subtly.

It didn't take long before he had the full block cooking in rapidly bubbling water.

He glared at the noodle-filled water as if daring it to not do what he wanted. Suddenly, his eyes widened.

He pulled out two bowls, placing them on the counter. Next, he used a special immortal chef technique that looked like he grasped an invisible fly. The noodles flew out of the boiling water and separated in midair. This caused them to cool down and stop cooking. Then they split into two portions and flew into the bowls.

They seemed to sparkle with energy.

Without pausing, he used another chef's technique to grab half the fried tofu and sent it flying into the same dish. They softly bounced into the bowl, looking like soft, exquisitely browned tofu.

Finally, he poured an equal amount of Three Fires Garlic Chili Oil from the gourd into each bowl and topped them with Resplendent Yin Coriander.

With that, the first half of the meal was perfectly complete!

Now, to see if he spent too much time on this part and left the other to burn.

At this point, the only things left on the stove were the covered rice, the frying vegetables, and the other half of the tofu.

He flipped the remaining tofu into the fried veggies. This caused a small whirlwind to appear above the pan.

I wasn't sure if this was an effect of two energies clashing with each other or if this meant the last dish was about to fail.

A bead of sweat dripped down Little Spring's forehead, but he was too focused to pay attention to it.

The suspense had me on the edge of my seat.

Then a grin spread across the brat's face.

He gestured to a bowl filled with special seasoning. It flew over the pot and dumped its contents into the funnel. The tiny tornado distributed the spices evenly between vegetables and tofu before it disappeared.

I had no idea what had just happened there. When it came to immortal cooking, aside from how to make tools for chefs, I was out of my depth.

Little Spring glanced my way, expectantly.

The grin I initially returned to him felt stiff as fuck.

Well, whatever. The kid looked like he knew what he was doing.

I relaxed and gave him a nod of approval.

His smile grew larger, and he made a chopping motion toward the wok with the rice. The bamboo lid sailed high into the air. Then he appeared to grasp something invisible.

Two large rice balls flew toward him at excessive speeds. Before they reached him, he pulled two dishes from his spatial ring and caught each portion. However, just catching them, apparently, was the easy part because they'd moved with so much force that the kid skidded back several feet.

Seriously, why was immortal cooking so weird?

Once he'd stopped, he ran towards the remaining pan and kicked it into the air.

The fuck?