The smell and sounds of the hospital were familiar. A blood bag hung over my head and the sharp sting of a line in my arm told me they were giving me a blood transfusion. Through my link with Shigure, I saw that he was sleeping with exhaustion.
Having the same familiar nurses and doctors attending to me was a relief. I could relax, knowing that I was in safe hands. They knew how to handle me and I knew what they expected of me. It was very comforting.
From the feel of things, I was going to be left with a lot of new scars. If the Creator didn't get involved, what would happen to my legs? They'd just been healed and had been smashed again from the feel of things. The doctors might say it was impossible to fully heal again.
I reached out to the Creator to see what he would say about my situation.
*"Please put up with the pain for a while longer,"* the Creator Father told me in a gentle voice. *"There is a purpose and use for your injuries now. These injuries will enable you to eventually be sent back home to your own country where you can reunite with Perry, April and your other friends. Don't be afraid. Junichi has a few things here that must be dealt with and the judgement upon his clan must be completed. As for you, please rest."*
*"Ok,"* I replied. I hadn't exactly expected the instant healing like last time, but I had to admit I was a little disappointed.
Despite the Creator's reassurance, my recovery this time was bumpy. It was filled with ups and downs. I could feel Shigure's exhaustion at times, even when I was asleep. Going in and out of ICU, I wondered where all the money for treating me was coming from. I developed various infections in various wounds, one after another. New problems and complications kept coming up. Shigure was even hospitalised for a short time with me when the exhaustion and stress became too much for him and his body to handle.
The doctors told me that I might never walk again and might forever have pain in some of my joints or from the big fractures. I didn't believe them. Once everything here was over, the Creator Father could give me new joints and legs again. Easy. It wouldn't be hard for him. I just had to put up with the frustration and irritation of living on the brink of death again for the moment.
Shigure and I kept missing each other with our waking and sleeping times. We didn't have much time to talk. The best we could do was leave messages for each other.
The day the doctors declared my condition was finally stable and that I was unlikely to suddenly die, the ward threw a mini party. I had smiled at them and eaten the cake someone had bought.
And then Shigure had dropped a bomb that scared the staff stiff.
"I want to bring her back overseas to her own country."
None of the medical staff replied for a long moment and then in a probing and gentle way, checked to make sure he understood that it was best for my recovery that I wasn't moved. Although my condition was relatively stable now, any new stimulation or any big events could possibly set me back again. In a manner of speaking, that meant that the relatively stable health I had was actually not very stable at all. The stability was a fragile state of balance where the scales could still be easily tipped if we weren't careful.
Shigure sighed at their reactions and ate another bite of cake.
"You yourself should continue receiving treatment and seeing your Psychologist," a doctor suggested to Shigure. "I heard you are now starting to relax and make progress. A big change may be too much for you as well. Wait a bit longer before you start organizing the move back overseas. You have a lot of things going on and your identity over there is still sensitive. Isn't it? Don't make any rash decisions. At least here, our government can continue to protect the two of you. Or that's what they told me. There is also enough compensation money left to continue the treatment. The two of you don't need to worry about the money."
"I don't want to work for the government," Shigure said in a quiet voice. "I want to take my wife somewhere quiet where we can retire and recover in peace."
"I can understand that," the doctor soothed and I began to have a feeling that we weren't in just any old hospital. In fact, we might be in a special sort of hospital, "and normally I'd even encourage it, however didn't our agents already make contact with you? Please complete your mission. We will take care of your wife in the meantime. The higher ups have told us that you are both valuable resources, and so they are investing in you. If you don't give them a good return, things may become difficult."
Shigure rubbed his head and I saw quite a few strands of silver hair drop off his head. My heart ached for my very stressed man. He didn't reply to the doctor and he went back to eating cake.
It seemed there was a lot going on that I didn't know about. Shigure was being forced to work for the government here in return for me being cared for. He hadn't mentioned anything of the sort. Did that mean I was being used as a hostage or sorts? Was Shigure even well enough to be helping his government run around?
Shigure stroked my hair and I blinked a question mark up at him, wanting to know what was going on.
"We'll talk later," he told me in a soft voice, feeding me a spoonful of cake. "How's the cake?"
"Delicious," I whispered. There was something wrong with my voice. I hadn't been able to talk in more than a whisper for some time. I was living up to my old name in primary school now. "What flavour is it, though? I can't tell."
"Kinpira gobo. Burdock and carrot," Shigure told me with a slight amused crinkle of the eyes. "What do you think?"
"I'd never have tried it if you hadn't given it to me," I scratched my nose, eating another mouthful that Shigure brought to my mouth. "I was wondering where the earthy flavour was coming from. It's pretty good. It reminds me of beetroot cake but not."
Shigure gave a little shrug.
"One of your doctors bought the cake for us. How should we thank them later?"
"Mm," I agreed. "We should definitely thank them somehow. Let me think on what sort of gift would be good."
After one more mouthful of cake and a sip of water, Shigure helped me adjust my position, I allowed myself to begin to drift off to sleep while the medical staff continued to pop in and out to take a slice of cake and eat hurriedly in between patients. I heard their congratulations and the relief in their voices.
"I'm going to be away for at least a month," Shigure told me in a soft voice. "I'm sorry. Don't be scared. I'll be back. The government is just borrowing me for a while. They know that we were City Agents and are likely to be ability users, but are not entirely certain what abilities we have. They wanted to give us both time to recover. After seeing what happened in my family and clan this time, the government have forbidden my clan from contacting us anymore. This time, since I was not seriously injured, they have asked me to temporarily work for them in exchange for protection for both of us. They will hide us from international eyes."
That woke me up with a start. I opened my eyes wide.
"Don't let them use me to threaten you," I told Shigure. "Even if they hurt or neglect me, I don't think the Creator Father will let anything happen to me. I'll be ok."
"Yes," Shigure bowed his head. "He said He'd take care of your safety. He said that if we had run the moment He had told us to leave and hadn't hesitated until that Auntie grabbed you, we could have been spared all this pain."
I nodded and stroked Shigure's cheek.
"It wasn't just your fault. It was both our faults, ok? Don't beat yourself up over it. We'll do better next time. I don't think we'll be able to escape the enemy or dangers in the future if the world is really changing like they said. We might be hunted and we need to get better at remembering to communicate with the Creator Father for advice and instructions before things happen. Then we need to get better at obeying him immediately when He speaks. Let's ask Him to intervene like He would as an earthly father even when we haven't asked for help. That way things won't get quite as bad as they did this time," I suggested. "It's best that He interjects and intervenes as often as is needed."
Shigure pressed my hand to his cheek and kissed my hand a few times.
"Let's do that," he agreed and quietly used our shared link to speak to the Creator of our request. We felt the Creator's pleasure when He agreed. I hoped that the trials we went through in the future would never be this bad again. We had to get better at hearing the Creator's voice - and fast.
I felt Shigure's heart aching slightly over the fact he might never be able to mend the rift between him and his family that had grown even wider than before. It hadn't been his parents or immediate family's fault as such. It was the clan.
Although I didn't know if something had happened to the clan or what had happened after Shigure and I had been rescued, I didn't really want to know either. I hoped Shigure's family and parents were fine.
Shigure read my mind and a painful sensation throbbed on his side of the link. A strong emotion or feeling he was suppressing.
"What's that? What happened?" I demanded.
"It's fine. You don't need to -"
"It's not fine. It's hurting you. Of course I need to know," I snapped and then clutched my chest when our mixed strong emotions became a bit too much for me to handle. I groaned.
"Calm down. Calm down," Shigure said in a fluster. "Please calm down. I'll tell you. I'll tell you. Just don't let your emotions get stirred up. You just stabilised. I don't want you going back to the ICU again."
A nurse skidded into the room because of the machines monitoring me bleeping alarms. She watched as everything settled back down and wagged a finger at both of us.
"Don't get excited. Don't let your emotions get stirred up. You can save all the lovey dovey things for when you are well enough to go home."
Shigure blushed a bit at her misunderstanding while that reminded me to check if I was pregnant. Shigure and I nodded absentmindedly at the nurse when she left to tell the other medical staff who had been rushing over that I was fine. When she was gone, Shigure and I entered the private baby room in our link. We looked down at my womb and clutched hands hard, sighing with relief to see the room was still empty. Now was absolutely not a good time to get pregnant. Especially not while I was still so unwell.
We exchanged glances. Both of us were so full of words and emotions that we couldn't speak.
*"I'll do my best in the future,"* said Shigure, his voice filled with a clash of relief and regret. *"When you are better, let's try again."*
*"It's good. This is good,"* I nodded. *"I don't think my body would be able to cope with a baby right now."*
*"Don't be upset,"* Shigure said, seeming to believe that I was secretly upset. I wasn't. I really wasn't. It wasn't a good time now. I knew that. *"We'll have plenty more opportunities in the future. I still haven't had enough time with you and having you to myself."*
The images that arose in his mind made me feel hot and uncomfortable. I pushed him away.
*"Stop that!"* I scolded, running away from him through our link. *"Now is not the time for that."*
Shigure teased me, following behind me while I scurried from my side of the link to his and then back again. He chased me around my mind space until my brain got tired and threatened to shut down.
*"Alright. I'll stop now,"* Shigure said, catching me in his embrace to hug and kiss me. He held me tight. *"Wait for me to come back. Don't miss me too hard. Be healthier when I come back from my mission."*
I nodded and returned his kisses.
*"You stay safe,"* I replied.
*"Then I'll get going now,"* Shigure said, letting me go, but I caught hold of him, knowing he was trying to avoid talking about his family.
*"You said you'd tell me what happened to your family and the clan. Tell me,"* I insisted.
Shigure made a face at me and was silent.
*"Tell me,"* I repeated.
*"When I come back,"* Shigure replied, looking away, but I felt that stabbing pain in his chest.
*"No,"* I replied, hugging him tight. *"Now. Then I know how to help you."*
*"You can't help me,"* Shigure shuddered, drooping in my arms. Tears leaked from his eyes. It was bad. It was bad. What happened was really bad. Look. He was barely containing it and he said it was 'fine'.
*"You'll keep it to yourself then? Keep beating yourself up over it?"* I scoffed. *"It's eating you up inside. Just spill and be done with it,"* I scolded. *"I'll at least understand why it hurts so much and you can share the pain with me rather than bottle it all up."*
*"They're dead, alright?"* Shigure suddenly exploded and shoved me away, so that I tumbled onto the ground. It was like being caught by the edge of a grenade blast. Sudden and shocking. Burning. Latently painful. *"What can you do when my return home killed them? If it wasn't for me, they'd still be alive. Why do you have to know everything? Are you happy now?"*
Shigure turned to hide inside his mind but I jumped on him from behind in our shared mind space, tackling him from behind. He fought and I fought with him. Although I was no match for him, I was able to at least keep up for a while until his flash of anger settled down enough for his rationality to begin to return. I wasn't going to let him keep hiding his pain away until it festered.
*"Tell me what happened,"* I demanded, sitting on him when he slowed down before he could hurt me. *"Stop hiding. You can't talk about this with anyone else, but you need to get it out. Otherwise if it affects your judgement while you're out on your mission, I'll feel guilty. It'll be my fault for not helping you stay on top of your emotions. You aren't allowed to get hurt out there."*
Shigure glared at me, his left eye glowing red. Mine probably matched his. We were that angry with each other.
We stayed like that for a long period of time. The red glows in our left eyes faded and the atmosphere somehow became somewhat more ambiguous. Amorous.
When we next attacked each other, it was a different kind of battle altogether. Shigure was filled with a desperation and a hint of despair while I tried to accommodate him and show him the strength of my love for him, in order to remind him that he was not alone.