I hopped on over in the spirit to where the Creator Father was already waiting for me by the river side. He had fish grilling over a fire and the smell made my nose twitch. My tummy growled. It appeared that He had been expecting me.
"Creator Father, I got too excited, jumped out the fourth storey window and broke my legs," I said, squatting next to Him to stare at the fish grilling on the fire. The fish skin had turned a golden brown and looked almost ready to eat. "I came to get my legs healed."
He nodded knowingly, probably having heard about it from Shigure or seen it himself.
"Go sit in the water on that rock," He told me. "It will help ease the pain."
"Will you heal my legs?" I asked, doing as I was told, while reluctantly parting from the look and smell of the grilling fish. The cool water eased the pain in my legs a lot.
"Will you jump out of the fourth storey window in excitement again after discovering you're healed?" He asked, sitting on a rock with his feet in the water. He handed me one stick of fish and took another for Himself.
"Haha," I rubbed my nose and scratched my head. "I can't promise that I won't. I might lose my head in excitement again. It's been such a long time since I was well. Oh, thank you," I accepted the fish.
"Bones take a long time to adapt to new situations," the Creator told me, taking a bite from His fish and indicating for me to do the same. I heard the slight crunch of the crisp fish skin and wiped away my drooling saliva to take a bite of my fish. "You have to slowly train your bones to be able to take the weight and amount of forces you put them through so that they won't break. Suddenly jumping on them like you did would have overloaded them."
"How come I didn't break any bones when I leapt across the Blue Gulf last time?" I asked and then sunk my teeth into the fish past the slightly crisp skin to the moist flesh beneath. The meat came easily away from the bones. There was just the right amount of saltiness, but there was a flavour missing. Before I could ask, a pepper shaker was handed to me. I took another bite and my whole body wriggled with glee. This was it. This was the flavour. I smiled all the way up to my eyes and I saw the Creator's eyes smiling as well. "This is sooo good," I gushed. "You're so good at cooking. This is the best fish I've ever had."
"Thank you," the Creator nodded acknowledgement. "My grace was with you when you were escaping across the Blue Gulf. You had been practising for a long time before you had to make that leap, you also rolled to help disperse the forces. You were not prepared this time, jumping out the fourth storey window."
"I see," I sighed at myself and then concentrated on eating the fish clean. "Thank you."
"Since you can't promise you won't make impulsive big leaps again before your body is ready to handle it," the Creator smiled at me, while eating His fish, "it will be better to let your body take a slower healing route to remind you to curb your own emotions and impulsiveness. I'll still speed up the process and ensure it heals well, with the bones stronger than before, but I don't want you to go about hurting yourself or purposely putting yourself in dangerous situations because you think I will heal you. Your body is my temple. I dwell with you. You have to take care of it. Understand?"
When He put it that way…
I nodded my head and looked at the pile of fishbones in my hand and lap. The Creator held out His hand and I put all the fish bones into His hand. The bones were tossed into the fire and then He picked up new fish skewers for each of us to eat while talking.
"It's not that I can't or won't heal you," the Creator told me, "but rather that I want you to be responsible and steady. I thank you for your trust, but I paid the price for your healing when I was whipped for your transgressions. Please do not take my sacrifice and pain in vain. Do not treat my grace lightly."
My eyes opened wide at that and I understood that I had been on the verge of insulting the Creator and His covenant. Rather than treating Him respectfully, I had almost begun to see Him as a tool. Someone to be used, not taking into account who He was and what He had really done. That was scary. It shook me how easy it was to fall into mental traps, and ways of thinking. That kind of thinking would cause me to look down on Him and eventually disrespect Him.
The Creator would take care of my needs and health, yes, but only when things were beyond my own ability or power. I had the responsibility to be a diligent caretaker of my own body and health. I should not assume that He would just do whatever I asked whenever I asked. He could, but He likely wouldn't. He had His own ways of doing things hat I may not understand. After all, He could see more and was much smarter than me. I only had a small perspective of things.
He was a King. One should never assume they knew what the King was thinking. That was dangerous thinking. With that type of thinking, a person could easily start trying to usurp the King's power and authority - and the Creator would never allow that.
While I called Him Father, I also had to be careful not to be over familiar with Him. After all, there was hierarchy even in royal families and there were some lines that could not and should not be crossed. While I could related to Him in that way, the Creator was foremost a King and anything I asked of Him and any way I related to Him must not injure His dignity or in any way be lacking in the respect He was due.
Realising this, I wanted to smack myself for my carelessness and impulsiveness. I had almost ruined such a beautiful relationship with my thoughtlessness. I had to remember to be more careful and cautious in the future.
In the meantime though, I had to ask the other question burning in my mind. The other reason for why I had come looking for the Creator, other than to get my legs healed.
"What about Sarden? Can you heal Sarden?"
"Your friend's code name is Sarsen Bird, not Sarden Fish. Although he has gotten used to the name, it is not respectful for you to misuse his name," the Creator chastised in a firm tone. "If you love your friends, respect them. Friendship is built upon mutual respect, give and take. Some things said in jest can still hurt. When it hurts, it is no longer a jest but a mockery. Sarsen Bird is also another child who's been hurting that I've had my eye on. I very much want to help him as much as I can."
"I'm sorry. I'll apologise to him when I see him next and make sure to call him by the right name," I lowered my head and then looked at him again. What He had said made perfect sense. I ought to have known. I didn't like people to make fun of my name either. "So will you heal Sarsen?"
"Because you have asked with sincerity and love for your friend, and because I have my eye on him, yes," the Creator smiled. "It is done."
"You're so awesome," I leaned my body back and rested my head on his knee, looking up at him. "When can I be as awesome as you? Will I ever grow up to be as awesome as you? They say I'm an adult now, but I don't feel like it."
"You will always be my child and you are still very young in my eyes," the Creator said solemnly but with a twinkle in His eyes. "Keep me as your goal and you will surely achieve greater things and do greater works than I did when I was still walking the world as a man."
"Is that possible?" I sat up straight in surprise, turning around to look at Him.
"Yes," He said.
"Awesome," I said, feeling relaxed and happy here with Him. I felt loved. I felt safe. There was food and good company. My legs didn't hurt. "I don't feel like going back yet. May I stay a little longer this time? It's nice being here with you."
"You may."
We were on our third fish, just enjoying each other's company when I suddenly realised that the Creator was the best person to advise me on a lot of matters. He could help me overcome all the nightmares in my memory. I could ask Him about whether I could or should have Shigure's baby. Shigure didn't seem very keen on it. He might not like me or see me that way, considering he had been acting as my elder for a long time. In fact, he might be more evenly matched with the Director.
I tried to imagine him and the Director's baby and thought it would surely turn out very cute. His and my baby would be cuter if he ever allowed it. Would he?
If he didn't, I couldn't think of anyone else I could trust to marry. The number of people that I was willing to trust and entrust myself to were pitifully few. Mr Holt had been my teacher. It felt wrong to think of him in that way. Big Brother was Big Brother. He still felt too much like a brother than a potential marriage partner. I loved him but the way he had treated me when we had been in the same team didn't lead me to feel like he could give me as much of a sense of security.
Honestly, Shigure was the only one. He was handsome. He was suave. He was talented, wise and kind. While he was a bit of a pervert, that was only in private. Otherwise, Shigure was very professional. He was also very considerate and generous. He was able to keep up with me and all these new talents he had woken up in me, developing them himself after being with me after some time. He had an amazing ability to learn things on the spot. Perhaps he was the smartest person I had ever met.