A giant eye opened and saw me. It looked at and around me and the shattered pieces I had become. The skin around the eye reminded me of the huge forest giant who had saved me from a falling tree. I felt the soft huff of its breath and a nudge from its snout.
An image of walking through a tranquil forest grew around me. From this height, I could see and identify landmarks, plants and creatures that made up this landscape, my home. The little creatures below cried out in fear and raced off in alarm. Just the sight or the waking of this giant made all smaller creatures tremble in fear and toe the line. Anybody belonging in its domain was a part of its home and was expected to play a part in maintaining the balance.
I saw myself from the giant's eyes, crawling awkwardly on the ground, trying to escape a falling tree. It had seen me as a baby. An abused baby with a broken mind. A child barely grown but already so injured that it didn't even understand how badly hurt it had been.
It had saved me out of pity, wondering where my parents or elders were. I was obviously out of place.
The giant's eye looked behind me now and I turned around to see Shigure. The gentle giant sent a mother's rebuke to him and Shigure lowered his head in acceptance, exuding regret. She seemed to recognise Shigure as my elder and sent him a complex blend of emotions and images that I took as her way of communicating. I was curious at all the colours and reached out to touch them, but Shigure stayed my hand, pulling me tight to him, while he continued to accept whatever the gentle giant was telling him. His head remained lowered and he patted me in assurance and as a reminder to behave.
After the giant was done with Shigure, she looked beyond us into the physical cave. She nodded at the growly bone soup man who had saved me and he nodded his head in greeting. Like a meeting of acquaintances. Peers.
She. She was like a big mother. A kind, loving one who took her responsibilities seriously.
I couldn't help it. I shook free of Shigure's arms to hug her and she lowered her head with a purring thrum that sent a soothing sensation through my body and softened the sharp edges of the broken pieces in my mind.
While she was comforting me, she examined Big Brother who was looking nervous. He sat a little straighter under the giant mother's careful scrutiny, but looked around blindly. He couldn't see her but he seemed to feel her presence. She compared him with something in my head. I felt her send him a flat rejection over something. She seemed to shake her head and say something further to Shigure. I was bathed in a glowing green light that tickled and made me laugh.
Her tongue licked me and then her presence faded and disappeared.
Feeling sad that she had gone, I wiped the tears from my eyes. Sitting up taller, my blanket slipped. I hurriedly covered myself with the damp blanket after discovering that I was naked. Big Brother's hand had a cold, moist rag that had paused on my back. I brushed it away and shivered. It was cold.
Shigure seemed to be lost deep in thought. The growly bone soup man who had been caring for me the past few days was dressed in a mix of furs, leather armour and cloth. He looked out toward the dark cave entrance and then back at me. Big Brother seemed in a daze.
The growly man stood up and took the cloth from Big Brother, shaking his head. He tossed it into the basin of water and moved it to another side of the cave. From a corner, he took out a bag, placing it on my lap.
Shigure automatically turned his back to me and Big Brother had to be physically turned around to give me privacy. The growly bone soup man gave me a nod and gestured at the clothes, before moving over to the fire to fiddle with things there until I smelled the fragrance of cooking food.
I smelled Shigure's scent on the bag and opened it, finding a bundle of my own clothes inside. Shigure was the best. He was so thoughtful. He had even included underwear.
I hurriedly pulled on my clothes and then closed the bag. Getting up out of bed, I was surprised to find my legs felt so weak and unsteady. Shigure caught me before I fell and sat me on a chair, while he and his friend stripped and remade the bed with clean sheets.
A chunk of bread dipped in gravy had been thrust in my hand and I happily slurped at it, nibbling away all the parts soaked in the tasty gravy.
The growly bone soup man was a great cook. I was going to miss his cooking in the future. What was I going to do if I craved his cooking one day? Would he mind if I came to visit? Would it be too awkward? Would he turn me away?
A spoonful of gravy dripped a dollop onto the bread just as I was thinking of how I should go about getting more. A big hand patted me on the head, radiating a peaceful feeling and I smiled up at the growly bone soup man. I didn't even know his name, and I felt hesitant to ask him now.
Seeing me continue to stare at him with a conflicted expression, he stopped what he was doing and crouched down in front of me. He didn't say anything, just cocked his head to one side, waiting.
I got my thoughts in order and gathered up some courage.
"Name?" I asked.
"Your name or mine?" he asked with patience.
"Yours," I stuttered.
"You can call me," the man paused for a moment, "Bone Soup Man. Soup Man for short."
I blinked at him in confusion and he laughed.
"Homeward Bound. You can call me Homeward," he said. "Yes. I know it's a strange name, but that's what it is."
"I'm…" I paused, trying to remember what my name was now. I'd had so many over the years. My mind was still in a mess and it was hard to get words out.
"Kim Na?" Homeward prompted. "Uki-chan?"
"No," I frowned. "I'm…"
I said the name that my parents had given me when I was born but that which nobody had ever called me by again.
"Ah," Homeward's face broadened into a smile. "The soft breath of wind in the trees on a pleasant sunny day, where all is fine and all is well," he chanted a tribal song and I felt my eyes grow round that he should recognise where my name had come from. That he should know one of the prayer songs of the tribes. "The family sit in peace to eat and have more than enough to spare. The days of plenty and of rest, the blessing of the Creator, given to those undeserving, a grace to those who depend on Him." He put more gravy on my bread with a chunk of meat. "A good name."
"A prayer of the tribes?" Shigure said from behind me and I jumped but didn't go anywhere because his hands on my shoulders kept me from breaking my head on the rock ceiling. "Lovely. Sorry, Uki-chan. I didn't mean to surprise you."
I wrinkled my nose at him and nibbled my bread before the gravy slid off it.
"What's wrong with Big Brother?" I pointed at the man who was still in a daze, facing the wall.
"That…" Shigure hesitated and exchanged glances with Homeward. "Uki-chan, you know that Big Brother isn't actually your big brother, right?"
"What do you mean?" I frowned again, trying to understand what he was telling me.
"Big Brother is his call name in the Organisation. Just like yours is Kim Na. He's not your biological brother," Shigure said, looking partly amused and partly uncertain.
"He's not my big brother?" I asked, feeling my head start to hurt. "But he said he was my big brother. He's not my brother?"
"No," Shigure shook his head while Homeward moved back toward the fire, chuckling to himself. "He's not your brother at all. In fact, I believe he's been wanting to be your boyfriend for a long time."
"But he's my big brother. How can he be my boyfriend? That would be wrong." I couldn't wrap my head around this new piece of information. It wasn't right. It meant I was wrong. And if he was a boyfriend, why would he want someone who had… The shards in my head shifted and I groaned, clutching my head. "My head. My head."
"Stop thinking. Stop thinking," Shigure and Homeward were immediately by my side. "It's ok. You're ok. Come and lie down. You're a lot better, but a good sleep will do you good. Come and sleep, Uki-chan."
"My head," I groaned, feeling tears sliding down my cheek. It was like having shifting glass shards in my mind. The way they shifted whenever I thought about something cut and stabbed like there was a torturer with a knife in my head.
"Sleep, Kim Na. Go to sleep. Everything will be alright," Shigure touched a finger to my forehead after helping me lie down and I immediately fell into the dark.