Looking between them, I felt a bit lost at the private conversation they were having that likely had something to do with me that I wasn't privy to. I had been relegated to a child or object in the room while they talked over my head in cryptic terms I couldn't make any sense of.
"What do you think, Kimi?" the Director spoke, looking at me but not at me. I couldn't fathom why until I heard the unexpected voice behind me.
"Acceptable."
Startled by the voice, I jumped in surprise. Firm but gentle hands held me down in my seat from behind me, so that I wouldn't leap too high and crack my head on the ceiling again. I recognised the voice and the feel of those hands. It was the rough looking painter man with the shock of silver hair from earlier.
"Sorry for frightening you, Kim," he turned my chair around and leaned over to shake my limp hand. "I'm Shigure. Kimi Shigure. We can't both be called Kim, so you can just call me Shigure."
"Drizzle rain?" I blurted. "Egg yolk?"
"That's right," Shigure smiled and patted my hand, turning me back around to face the Director.
"This?" I pulled a yellow pastry from a little box in my pocket that I had bought just yesterday from a Nihon sweets shop on a whim. The pastry I had taken from my drawer earlier that I was planning to eat during a quiet moment anytime soon. I twisted around in my chair to show him. It had a cracked surface that looked like parched earth. "Would you like it? I think it's got your name."
Shigure threw his head back in a short laugh and grinned at the Director.
"I like her," he told the Director and then accepted my little box with my pastry in it. "Thank you," he told me. "I won't refuse my favourite sweet."
"I like your name," I said to the man.
What a good idea it had been to name himself after his favourite pastry.
"Thank you," he replied, turning around to move his face mask and take a bite from the pastry. When he had turned back around, his eyes were squinting into smiles. There were a few crumbs on his face mask that I wanted to reach up to help him wipe off. He sensed my gaze and brushed the crumbs off himself. "Oh, this is a good one. Where did you buy it?"
"From a wagashi store next to a Nihon library bookstore which was next to a Nihon bakery and cafe. They're in a little street off the ninth and fifty-ninth corners of Long Road toward the sea. You know, behind the big green shop with the big green monster statue. The statue can block the view of the turn off but if you turn immediately after the statue, it's that street," I said, picturing the directions and locations in my head as I spoke.
"I see," Shigure's face fell into thought and then lit up with understanding. He ruffled my hair.
"I'm lost," Mr Holt said with a frown.
"To tell the truth, I am too," confessed Director Worth. "All I understood was a green building with a big green monster and Long Road. Except there is no Long Road."
Shigure laughed.
"She was giving the directions and location from this direction rather than the address," he explained. "There's only one road in this city that completely travels from end to end along its length. That's Long Road or Hoppers Road as we call it. From where we are, if we travel toward the sea along Hoppers Road, there are ten streets on the left but sixty-three on the right. On the corner she mentioned, there's an automobile repair and parts store along with a big green hardware store on the right. They have recently put up a giant statue of a tyrannosaurus rex on the grass that blocks the view of the street behind them. If you turn right onto that street behind the statue, you will find the small group of Nihon shops she was just talking about."
Mr Holt applauded Shigure's reasoning and I smiled. Finally, there was someone else who understood what I was saying.
"In fairness, Kim," Shigure told me, "when talking to other people, it's best to just give them the address. Otherwise they'll get confused. They can work everything else out by themselves."
"Ah." I said. I thought about it. "I understand. Thank you."
"Alright," Director Worth took a deep breath and waved at the door. "Kimi, you can get yourself a chair from out there if you want. Otherwise, close the door."
"I'll stand," Shigure said, walking over to close the office door, "but thank you all the same."
"Kimi is acting as an extra witness and as an advisor for us today, Kim," Director Worth said to me. "I hope you don't mind?"
"A bit," I said, "but after having met him, I trust him a little bit now. Someone named after a sweet pastry can't be a bad person."
That made them cough to hide their amusement again.
"Then let's get down to business," the Director sat back in her chair. "I want you to give a report on all that happened in your latest mission first, up until just before you entered my office. After that, I'll ask you a few questions. Don't feel embarrassed. Don't leave any details out. Hearing things and reading reports isn't as good as a firsthand account. When things are this serious, I need reports that I can believe in. I want to know and understand your team dynamics as well, so please, start from when you received Howard's message early this morning. What were you doing and thinking at the time?"
I closed my eyes in order to recall what happened and gave my report. The Director guided me with her questions and had me repeat certain areas with more detail. Some parts, such as describing how my teammates bullied me, had me hesitate and cringe in shame. I didn't want to tell them what I thought or remembered or what had happened.
Bit by bit, more information was dragged almost kicking and screaming out of me. The Director was much better at convincing me to speak than Mr Holt was. Every now and then, I felt Mr Holt's rage flare up or felt him reach out to touch my shoulder. Shigure retracted his presence so that I forgot he was even there.
By the end of two hours, I felt drained and exposed. Dizzy and tired. Dirty and apprehensive. Was the Director going to ask me to leave the Agency? I know I wanted to but Mr Holt was right. Besides here, I had no where else to go. The Agency supplied all my food and accommodation. If I left, I was left with nothing. If I stopped sending money back to my family, they would struggle. If I stopped sending money back to the tribe, I would be hunted down and then brought back as an ungrateful wretch to be punished.
I was scared. If our team disbanded, what would happen to a useless person like me? Mr Holt wouldn't be able to keep protecting me. Not with the way my grades tended to fluctuate. But those fluctuations weren't exactly my fault. Mary Belle and Flint had played a large role in giving me misinformation and like the simple, stupid person that I was, I had believed them. Allowed them to steam roll over any self confidence I had gained. I'd miss Sarden and Big Brother, but I could live without them.
They were going to toss me off into some unknown corner and forget all about me, weren't they? I was going to be abandoned and told I really was a useless agent.