A hand stroked my hair, easing my trembling trepidation somewhat. I wiped my eyes.
"Have a good nap?" Shigure asked when I opened my eyes. I hadn't even realised when I had fallen asleep. He helped me sit up, while I winced and held my aching head. Honestly, I just wanted to lie back down and never wake up again. "You passed out."
Looking around at the unfamiliar room, I came to realise that I had been laid down on the couch in a corner of the Director's office. Two blankets had covered me. One thin one and one a colourful, thick woolly blanket.
"Are you cold? You kept shivering," Shigure told me, examining my face for signs of something. "The doctor came by. He said you were fine and they found drugs that Chad had injected into your system. He's given you an injection to counter it. You still have a concussion. You'll need to get plenty of rest tonight if you have to meet Chad tomorrow."
"She's awake?" the Director asked.
She and Mr Holt came over to sit on the other couch facing me.
"Thank you for talking to us and telling us everything," Director Worth smiled gently at me. Her eyes searched mine with sharp probes and I could see that she was affronted and outraged. Mr Holt was too but his shoulders carried a heavy measure of dejection. "Your team has been suspended pending further investigation. Howard will be returning to Headquarters for some time. We won't be able to see him until the investigation is over. Once your teammate, Sarsen has been cleared of any wrongdoing, we will try and help him too."
I winced. Sarden and wrong doing couldn't really be separated. Mary Belle and Flint had made him do a lot of things too. Some of them, he'd done himself without their instigation. After all, he was a naughty, rebellious kid all on his own already. I only liked him because he'd been nice to me and tried to protect me.
"What's wrong, Kim? Is Sarsen guilty of certain crimes as well?"
I glanced once at Mr Holt and the Director and looked down again with a sigh. They didn't look very pleased.
"In that case, I should inform you that we may need to call on you as an eyewitness against your teammates. All of you are likely going to suffer repercussions. Kim, you've told us about all the others but not Sarsen. What has he done?"
My headache intensified.
"I don't want to tell on all my team members. I don't want to be a traitor and act as a witness against them," I wiped my eyes again. They kept overflowing and blurring my vision. "They're going to near kill him as it is when they realise I've been telling tales."
I could imagine the lengths to which Flint and Mary Belle might go through in order to get revenge. If Sarden was upset enough, he might want to get back at me too. He was that kind of person. Big Brother was the only person I didn't think I'd need to worry about. He'd probably have guessed what was coming the moment he knew I'd been called away for a private chat.
I was scared. So scared of what the others might do. I couldn't stop shivering.
I didn't want to say anything but somehow the Director got the information out of me. She was very persuasive. Besides, she had the authority. I didn't want to go back to a life where I was no more than a piece of flotsam but neither did I want to stay and be their target practice.
"Have you ever done anything that could be constituted a crime?"
The only thing I could think of was being pressured into not reporting certain things or not informing Mr Holt of certain things. That sort of crime was already pretty bad. But what I suffered if I dared to write a report that said something different other than what the team had agreed upon was too frightening to contemplate.
"Tell us in detail what sorts of punishments and things they have done to you and who took part in these events. You've told us how they bullied you. Tell us how they punished you."
I felt cornered and stuck in between rocks and hard places. It was getting hard to breathe and concentrate and to ignore my throbbing head.
"Don't push her too hard," Shigure's voice said. I could feel his fingers on my wrist, feeling my pulse. "She's on the verge of passing out again. Give her a bit of space first. Let her calm down."
When I got myself under control, I felt a cold, light pressure on my temples. A mind probe machine? That was their solution to the things I couldn't express in words? That was even worse. The last time someone had used one on me, they had - they had - they had…
"Take it away," Shigure's voice said from a distance. "It's making things worse. She's panicking too much. I'm guessing someone has tortured her with a mind probe before. Take it away. I'll use my ability."
"No, Kimi. We know what using your ability does to you. You're too important."
"Why did you call me here for then, if you felt that you wouldn't need my ability?" Shigure asked. "Relax. I don't think Kim will fight me too hard. Will you, Kim?"
I heard his voice go from being external to become an internal voice at the edge of my mind.
*"I won't intrude. I won't go where you won't let me. All you need to do, Kim, is show me. Show and share with me what happened. I will then turn it into words that others will understand. There's more at work here than just finding evidence against your unruly teammates. There's another enemy we've been searching and chasing for a long time, hiding within the Agency. We're hoping you will have picked up some traces of him. Kim, won't you share what you know?"*
I thrust the memories out toward his direction, where he would be able to access them on his own. I didn't want to look at or remember them. Instead, I closed myself in and huddled in a ball, waiting for him to be done. My memories that he wanted to access were lined up along the outer edges of my mind, ready and waiting for him.
*"Kim,"* Shigure said in an abnormally gentle voice. *"There are locks on some of these memories. Would you please unlock them for me?"*
Gnashing my teeth at those memories, I wavered. I felt Shigure hold my hand in reassurance and took a deep breath.
Recalling a disgusting, hateful smell was the key.
The memory sucked me in and Shigure dragged me back out before I could completely fall in and drown. Before I could become immersed, he pulled me out and hugged me tight, placing me somewhere safe. Then he strode boldly into that group of memories. They bombarded him hard. I felt him reel with shock and confusion at the strength and clarity of these particular memories.
Worried for his safety and risking drowning in my own memory again, I reached in and dragged him out.
Shigure lay still for a moment outside the memory before he twitched and smiled at me. It was a smile that could stop a nation.
It was then I realised he wasn't wearing his face mask. He was so handsome without it. No wonder he wanted to hide his face. A person this good looking would be hounded by men and women alike. Beauty could be a curse. In this case, I should help protect him in the future from superficial people who might never look beyond his face. Yes, I resolved. I would be his protector.
Look at that smooth skin. How young was he? He couldn't be as old as Mr Holt, right?
*"The mind is indeed a dangerous place,"* he said, catching his breath and ignoring my thoughts on his good looks. Maybe I was able to hide them from him well enough. *"Thank you, Kim."*
Patting my shoulder, I felt him erect a stronger shield around himself. His identity. Whoa. Look how robust and thick the shield was. When would I have one as strong as that?
Even so, with such a shield, would it be enough to protect him? My memories were like war zones. They weren't safe. They might wear his barrier down quickly. If they did, he might get entangled and lost. If that happened, would I be able to rescue him in time again without getting trapped myself?
*"Don't worry,*" he patted my cheek. *"I'm prepared this time. It won't harm me."*
Nervously, I waited for him to finish strolling through the chain of memories and thoughts of that time. Anxiously, I monitored the thickness of his shield to make sure it didn't break. I wasn't sure how long he was in there but he finally emerged, looking weary and travel worn.
*"I'm done,"* he told me, allowing me to lock those memories up. I retracted them and filed them away back where they belonged. *"I'm done. Thank you."*
The sound of vomiting and the smell of blood mixed with vomit made me crinkle my nose. Opening my eyes, I saw Shigure holding a rapidly reddening tissue to his nose while he threw up into a bucket. The window had been opened to help combat the smell. When he was done, Shigure gave me a wan smile and allowed himself to be laid down on the other couch. He covered his face again, closed his eyes and seemed to pass out.
On the table were reams of paper, along with a recorder that Mr Holt and the Director were putting away.
"You've had it rough, Kim," Mr Holt patted my head. "You should have told me all this earlier so I could nip it in the bud."
"Close your eyes and have a rest," the Director gave me a tight smile, "while we process all the information and wait for Kimi to wake up. Ah. I should call him Shigure now. Otherwise it'll start getting confusing."
"Did he find what you were all looking for?" I croaked. "Is he ok?"
"Yes," the Director told me. "He's fine. Just needs a rest. Don't worry. Have a good rest first."
Feeling hugely relieved, I closed my eyes and let myself fall back asleep.