Montag rolled his eyes and sighed. Alex must've thought he was an idiot. Everyone could tell he was developing feelings for him. His face was an open book, he always looked at him with those puppy eyes and smiled excitedly whenever they were together. He could ignore all those signs and behave like a piece of shit, take advantage of him, and then leave him pretending he never knew about his feelings.
Like my father.
"Finish eating your pasta, it's getting late."
He took one of the sandwiches and mindlessly chewed on the bread, meat, and vegetables. It tasted like nothing, and he focused on the task of swallowing, pretending normalcy. Every time he saw Alex his resolve to end their relationship wavered. He knew he wasn't a good person and eventually he was going to hurt him, but he just couldn't stop himself.
"Do you like it?"
Alex's voice snapped him out of his thoughts. He was looking at him with smiling bright eyes, hazel pools that captured the light and warmed it up. He returned the smile, but he knew the gesture didn't reach his eyes. His self-recrimination and guilt corrupting all the good things Alex made him feel.
"it's a sandwich, kind of difficult to fuck it up."
"Do you want to sleep over? Andrea probably won't be home until after noon tomorrow."
Say no, make an excuse.
"Sure"
He immediately regretted the answer. Alex's smile got so big it was blinding and he could see him practically buzzing with excitement. He was disgusted with himself and at the same time he felt relieved, at least his self-loathing meant he wasn't entirely like his dad. The outcome wasn't going to change but he would be punished by his own conscience.
Together they cleaned up the kitchen and sat on the living room sofa to watch a movie. Alex rested his head on Montag's thigh, and he brushed his hair softly, with the tv's dim light his dark circles were more noticeable, and he worried about his rest. A movie wasn't worth his health.
It didn't take long for Alex to fall asleep. Montag noticed when his breathing got deeper, and he started snoring softly. Smiling, Montag picked him up in his arms and carried him to his room. He figured the one neatly organized and full of books was his.
"Please don't go" Alex's sleepy voice startled him.
"I'm not going anywhere" he whispered, "but I didn't bring clothes so I'm going to sleep in my boxers, is that okay with you?"
Alex covered his face with the blanket but answered "Yes."
Montag took off his clothes and folded them on the desk chair. He then borrowed an unopened toothbrush so he could brush his teeth, Alex followed him, groggy, and did the same. Then they both lay on the bed watching the ceiling.
"You were asleep minutes ago," he said softly.
"That was before you decided to sleep practically naked next to me."
"You said it was fine."
"Don't get me wrong, it's marvelous. I didn't even know you had tattoos. My body can't take all these stimuli and then just go to sleep."
"It's a big ass cicada, how can you get turned on by that?"
"You make cicadas sexy."
Montag laughed out loud and turned to face him. Alex's eyes were still fixed to the ceiling, and he was blushing and fidgeting with his fingers on his chest.
"Baby, look at me." The pet name came out without a second thought
Alex stiffened and turned to look at him fast. His eyes were as big as saucers and his mouth was opened in awe. Montag cursed himself for being careless with his words and getting his hopes up.
"Hmmm?"
"We're not gonna have sex. You fell asleep on the couch; I'd be a soulless bastard if I fucked you."
"Don't use that word, I'm so hot I'm gonna melt."
"it'll pass. Focus on sleeping"
Alex grabbed the blankets covering his body and threw them on the floor, out of the corner of his eye Montag could see the tent adorning the front of his sweatpants. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to ignore the issue. He was also excited, but he was experienced enough to control his urges and ignore his erection, instead, everything was new for Alex and Montag despised seeing him suffer.
"This is hell" Alex whined.
"I will not fuck you, but I can help you with my hands and mouth, deal?" He had lost the battle with himself.
"What do you mean your mouth?" Alex asked, panicked.
"A blowjob and hand job. They'll help you with your pent-up desire so that you can sleep."
"What about you?" His breathing was fast and shallow.
"I'll take care of myself later, let's focus on you."
Alex nodded frantically and Montag kissed him, their mouths open, their tongues intertwined. Their minty humid breaths mixed, Montag nibbled on Alex's lower lip and softly suck on it while looking for the hem of his shirt with his roaming hands. Alex didn't protest the action and held his arms up to facilitate his undressing.
When his hands caressed Alex's hairless chest, Montag felt the electricity rippling through his fingers, wherever he touched, his skin got goosebumps. He brushed his fingertips on his nipples and Alex moaned loudly.
"I thought you were going to give me a hand job and blow job" Alex talked fast and out of breath.
"This is how I give blowjobs, that way I can enjoy it too."
Montag buried his head on the curve of Alex's neck and inhaled deeply. Honey. So sweet and alluring. His hands traveled to his chest again and he pinched his nipples at the same time. Alex jumped and whimpered. Montag felt his dick jump against his thighs.
"What is this feeling? Help me"
Alex tangled his hands with his hair and tugged softly. Montag looked him in the eye and slid across his body until he could take one of his nipples between his teeth. Alex whimpered, which made him bite harder. The low moan that came from his lips surprised them both.
"Do you like this, baby?" he asked against his skin.
"Uh-huh. Please don't stop."
"Your wish is my command."
His dick was throbbing and demanding attention, but Montag ignored it. This was Alex's moment, to give him pleasure and satisfy him. The more Alex got out of associating with him, the less guilty Montag would feel when it eventually imploded. He traced a wet path with his tongue on his stomach until he reached the elastic of his pants. The fabric was so loose Montag could see the outline of Alex's dick, its wet tip leaving a stain.
Alex practically jumped on the bed when his mouth engulfed his cock through the fabric. The salty taste of his pre cum hitting his tongue, Montag sucked softly delighting himself in the soft cries of pleasure coming from his lover's throat. He took off his pants and underwear slowly. Alex's beautiful dick sprung out, slapping him on the cheek and Montag laughed softly.
"What's the matter?" The breathlessness was extremely sexy.
"Nothing, you're just gorgeous everywhere"
Alex blushed even more and covered his face with his hands. Montag nibbled the skin on his inner thigh leaving and moved slowly across his balls sucking them softly. He could see Alex's dick leaking precum and twitching but he was determined to prolong the pleasure as much as possible.
"I beg of you, please touch it." Alex's desperate voice was frantic.
"Touch what, babe?"
"You know, don't make me say it."
"I'm sorry, baby, I'm not following you." He smirked.
Alex groaned and tried to grab his dick, but Montag took both of his wrists with his right hand and made him stop. Without breaking eye contact he stuck out his tongue and gave Alex's cock a long and languid lick. With his hands restrained Alex couldn't cover his face and Montag could see the pleasure transforming his expression, with his eyes rolled and his mouth opened. He didn't know if he had the willpower to not fuck him.