Still no one at school really cared about Jungkook and at home Jimin was the only one that seemed to care, so even though all of this happened he still felt like he was burdening everyone around him, he still wanted to disappear but this time he was much more responsible about it and kept it all inside for no one to know, it hurt him deeply, but at least his family was happy, right?
Right?...
No, after only a year he was refusing to eat, he was hurting himself, not badly but the bruises on his arms and stomach were evident, he was loosing weight quickly but no one noticed. They didn't even bat an eye, and he was grateful for that.
And to make matters worse he was barely thirteen years old when his grandmother died of a heart attack, and only two years later his grandfather joined his wife in heaven meaning him and Jimin were forced back with the only other family they had, their father.
Luckily now Jungkook was already fifteen and knew how to defend himself or stop his father when he tried to beat him, but of course eit only worked that well. He was an alpha male and a lot bigger then the other kids his age, but he was still a kid that's terrified of his own father and at some point he just took the beating he got the first time instead of defending himself and getting an even bigger one.
And threw all of this Taehyung was still his greatest enemy in life, they had joined the same highschool and of course they went back to fighting every single day and started to physically beat each other at this point. It got so bad that the teachers had to actually separate them and their schedules so much that they didn't even take the right classes anymore and they still managed to create a fuss.
Obviously both of their family's money was significant to the school so neither of them got expelled this time, but punished severely instead. Sometimes physically, but the principle didn't agree with physically punishing kids so that didn't happen very often.
Except for this one teacher, Mister Song, he would often use physical violence to punish the boys, but the good part about this is Jungkook had massive daddy issues and a massive crush on Mister Song.
So he'd sometimes purposely make problems in Mister Songs classes, when he turned sixteen it was his peek. Instead of a simple crush, he was now realizing that all along he's been sexually attracted to the punishments and he started doing it more and more.
Mister Song unfortunately noticed he started taking advantage of him, sexually...
And Jungkook, being the horny, lonely teenager he was accepted it with open arms not even realizing how disgusting it was for a forty seven year old man to be having intimacy with a sixteen year old.
And threw all this his mental health had declined to the point of hurting himself with knives and eating disorders, so suddenly having so much attention that he considered was 'good' he honestly didn't even care about morals. Or the fact that it's illegal.
One day he came to class late and was held back by Mister Song to do 'extra homework', and Jungkook gladly agreed.
Mister Song being a beta Jungkook was the one that had him bend over the desk when Taehyung and Jimin walked in, 'forgetting their books from the previous class they had' we all know the story.
But I'm sure they were shocked to see such a lude and disturbing sight, Jungkook froze to look at them and made eye contact with taehyung, both of the seniors stared in shock and couldn't even move while the teacher hadn't even noticed.
He turned over to look at Jungkook not realizing what had made him stop and he too joined the cycle of simply staring at the two boys, Taehyung simply turned around at this point, "This is a conversation you should have with him." He said to Jimin, but Jimin only stayed a few seconds longer then turned around and left himself.
Luckily that kind of turned the two 'love birds' off and they quickly got their clothes back on and stopped, Jungkook going after Jimin and the teacher wanting to make sure Taehyung wouldn't say anything to principle, Taehyung assured him that it was none of his business and that he's simply disgusted by seeing his mortal enemy in such a stretch having his own teacher bend over a table with parts he never wanted to see in complete view.
But of course Taehyung was not about to let a pedophile go free with no punishment, and that very day Mister Song was fired and arrested for molesting a student that's not of legal age to consent, and much more evidence came to light of other encounters with more then a dozen other students coming forth and admitting to having been blackmailed or forced into having intercourse with the teacher, leaving him with a life sentence and a permanent banning of ever working with children ever again.
Given all the evidence that came to light that very day Jimin didn't even need to have a conversation with Jungkook, he already knew and understood how utterly stupid he was for believing that the relationship they were having had anything to do with love or any kind of affection at all, but he was so drained from having any besides what Jimin had given him it took the teacher to be arrested before he realized how badly he fucked up.
And at this point he felt so betrayed and violated that he was literally in his bedroom crying into Jimin's chest constantly just explaining how he didn't realize, or how he was simply desperate to be loved and touched, and how stupid he felt for believing it was love and how sorry he was for making Jimin worry about him.
Jimin decided that he should rather stay quiet and let the younger vent instead of calming him down, and luckily he did, he vented about all the things he's been feeling and thinking about himself for the past few years and how Mister Song made him feel so much better. When in reality he was just being used, Jimin was shocked to say the least, he never in his wildest dreams would've imagined that his baby brother was hiding such awful things from him.
At that moment he realized that even though he thought he was enough for Jungkook, he was still not helping him in the way he needed help.
So after that incident he started checking up on Jungkook regularly, he made sure he ate a full meal everyday, he checked his arms everyday and soon found out that in order to hide it, Jungkook had also been cutting his thighs and stomach too. So at least once a week he made sure there were no new cuts by checking up on him while he was in the bath or taking a shower, and Jungkook trusting Jimin with his life didn't mind at all and honestly enjoyed it when Jimin was with him while he was washing up. To him it felt intimate, but in a loving way that only Jimin could make him feel, he never really viewed his visits as sexual at all and always understood the deeper meaning behind it.
And he had genuinely gotten a lot better, but threw all this Jimin got drained emotionally, everyday when he looked at himself in the mirror all he could is 'what a disgusting, useless thing you are', he too joined the eating disorder club and thought that maybe if he was different, he would be enough, but Jungkook, already knowing the signs from experience quickly manage to stop Jimin, but he still got to a point where he weighed only 36 kilograms, he was weak and frail and was honestly insanely sick. He fainted almost once every three to five days and felt it physically difficult to move his body and get up in the morning. But Jungkook had gotten better, so it must've been that, right?
That's what was going on in Jimin's head, and though it was true Jungkook was better, he still felt disgusted in what Jimin was doing to himself.
"Look at you Jimin! Do you honestly think this makes me happy?! You look like a damn skeleton, it's disgusting if anything else!" Jungkook yelled at his brother, after yet another fainting spell Jungkook had completely lost it this time.
Jimin was crying and clinging onto jungkooks arm, begging him to just shut up but Jungkook felt that he needed to make Jimin believe he thought he was disgusting before he would stop and have a meal, "After everything you've said to me about my disorders you have the fucking nerve for this?! You're a liar and a hypocrite, Jimin!"
Jimin fell to his knees, grabbing jungkooks leg and holding it tightly and crying into his thigh, Jungkook grabbed his hair and forced him to look at him, "How stupid do you have to be Jimin... What? Are you trying to tell me that you liked me better when I was sickly skinny too?" Jungkooks cruel words made Jimin flinch and immediately exclaim, "No!"
"Then tell me, WHY THE FUCK YOU THINK ID BE HAPPY??!!!!" Jungkook bend down slightly and shouted into Jimin's face, still harshly gripping his hair, and with that sentence jimin seemed to regain his brain and realized how stupid he was for letting himself get this bad, knowing how horrible Jungkook looked when he starved himself to loose weight. And Jungkook hadn't even gotten there, the lowest jungkooks weight got was 54, but I suppose jungkooks normal weight is still 132, while Jimin's is 68. Jungkook is a lot bigger then him after all.
Luckily that arguement put Jimin back on earth, and he started working on his disorder, but it was difficult, his body had gotten so used to not recieving any food that he pucked when he ate anything sweet or any kind of a big meal. He had to take it slowly, at some point eating a normal amount made him more physically ill then not eating anything.
But he still pulled threw and within about a year and a half he was back to being a healthy, happy man at 84 kilograms. He considered himself very overweight, but seeing how Jungkook looked at him, and how he stared at his thighs and chest in almost every conversation they had Jimin understood that even though he didn't like it, it was far more important that he was healthy and no longer ill from his weight.
Though insecurity still exists, and he was an omega, so when he gained weight he gained it in his chest and thighs and ass, meaning his body was far more feminine then he liked, at times he was even mistaken for a woman by strangers.
And seeing how many times he's been called ma'am instead of sir was overwhelming, he wasn't even that feminine, but the give away was certainly his chest, it wasn't very big, but they were noticeable in tight fitting clothes, which is why he was wearing baggy and oversized clothes every time he went out.
But when he wore it at home he noticed that Jungkook was getting worried as to why he felt the need to hide his body, and not wanting him to think that he was hiding weight lose he simply dressed the way he normally would knowing that Jungkook loves him no matter how feminine he looked.
As for Jungkook, he no longer had bad thought about disconnecting himself, he had a streak of a year and a half of not hurting himself, he ate everyday and worked out to get his body in shape he wanted it to be instead of forcing it to be frail and skinny, he had gained weight and he wasn't hating himself for it, and he worked in a much more healthy way to get himself to a point he was genuinely happy.
And by the time he went to college you never would've thought that anything was ever wrong with him, besides the scars on his arms which he showed off with pride not wanting to hide them anymore. He wore short sleeves, he barely ever hid his arms behind his back, he wasn't ashamed of them at all. He saw it as a trophy of overcoming a difficult time in his life, and that's exactly what it was.
A trophy to prove how much better he had gotten.
He still had times where he looked at his old scars and wondered if there couldn't have been a better way to deal with his emotions, but at the end of the day it was simply a way to coap with everything that was going on.
He felt that it was a way to control the pain he was feeling, because he was the one causing it in his mind.
But nonetheless he didn't let that stop him, he reconnected with his childhood best friends, after they started their third year of highschool they kind of drifted apart, but now the trio was back together and he loved Hoseok and Yugyeom with his whole entire being.
At some point his mental health declined again and he got a bit worse, but it wasn't noticeable and he was still fine, but he got jealous easily, he started overly obsessing over the way his body looked, constantly wanting something different.
He'd eat a lot and workout to gain muscle, then stop eating and stop working out to loose the weight and become skinnier again. But at the end of the day he was still doing it in a far more healthy way then when he was a teenager, and this time he understood that changing his body and appearance just to please himself wasn't worth risking his health, so he always made sure to eat at least one full meal a day, and he physically worked out and went to the gym and changed himself at a decent and healthy pace.
But that still didn't mean that he was perfectly stable and mentally healthy, he was still over obsessing over his diet and how it'll effect his body, he was never happy with what he had currently and always had goals for something else, "I'll be happier when I loose weight" "I'll like myself more when I have more muscles" "That's too much muscle, I need to tune it down" "Now I'm too fat, I need to go on a 'healthier' diet" You know, all the good stuff that really hurts in the middle of the night.
And to make matters even worse he was full on, absolutely, obsessively in love with Jimin, and embarrassingly jealous and possessive over him and his other friends, he was always worrying that someone will come and take them away from him.
And as you can imagine over the course of his college days he at some point went right back to having bad thoughts about how he was a waste of time and effort, how he was never good enough or even worthy of being loved at all.
But he was still better then before and trying hard to keep it that way, even though he acknowledged that his mental health was declining again. And just to be sure he promised himself that he would talk to Jimin and ask him for help if he ever noticed thoughts about ending his life and he wasn't able to help himself anymore. Besides, it was Jimin that got him out of that bad place after all, he couldn't possibly think of a reason he wouldn't be able to do it again. Beside maybe the fact that he's in love and obsessed with keeping up a fake confidence so he doesn't 'bother' anybody again.