A gasp startled him, prompting him to turn. A gasp that had seen something she shouldn't have. When her eyes flashed a look at the bare back that was no longer bandaged, her heart ached at the bruises that littered it. The scary cuts that left memories of previous injuries were covered with new bruises. The gasp scared her, and she knew she shouldn't have looked. Her eyes looked away the moment they caught his. The gasp startled Kai, who was analyzing his own injuries at that moment. The gasp that startled him made him angry; how could he be so careless? He turned to lock eyes with her, but at that moment, she looked away. She stood at the door motionless, and he knew that she was scared. He made a motion towards her, and she ran from the room.
Her chest felt like it was being stepped on, and she could not process what was going on at that moment. She walked to the door, her thoughts being flooded with scenes of blood, unsure of what she should do at this moment. Her words were silent, and she had not continued walking. Her body was paralyzed with fear as thoughts of what she should do haunted her brain. Thoughts of how this could have happened to him, she needed to know. A hand landed on her shoulder, shocking her back to the harsh reality. She turned to see him in a shirt, covering up what had already been seen. He noticed the tears that had painted her face. This was not a conversation that was going to be easy, and he knew that. His hands went to her face, wiping each tear as he sighed.
"Don't cry. I can't see your beautiful eyes." That was all he could think about to say.
He tried to hide his thoughts and emotions from her, and she did not need to know right now. He searched for the words to say, and her eyes searched for any sign that he was truly okay. He wanted to tell her, but this wasn't the time. He kissed her forehead, trying to think of something that he could tell her for the time being. He knew he needed to reassure her that everything was going to be fine, but the only thing he could do was hold her. He pulled her into his arms, his hand lightly caressing her head.
"Trust me." The words came from his mouth as he held her close. She pulled from his grasp, trying not to hurt him. She let out a sigh, shaking her head and trying to think.
"This is too much." Her voice was strained.
She had not been able to process at that moment, but she didn't know how to act. Where did all those marks come from? Why did he have so many? Why would he not tell anyone? She looked at his pleading face.
"How did you get those? There's so many." Her voice dropped with her gaze. The black shirt covered every scar and bruise.
"Let's talk later, I promise." He let her go and let out a deep sigh as he walked away. "I don't have the strength to tell you now." She watched him stumble away, getting to his backpack and placing it on his shoulder.
"Where are you going?" The tears still in her eyes, she tried to wipe them away quickly before he turned.
"With you." Her heart skipped yet another beat, staring at him. He stood up straight. "Are you going to make me repeat myself?" He asked, taking a deep breath and ignoring the pain.
He held on with all his might, the guilt forcing him to carry it. He could not continue to show her this side of him; she was already weak and vulnerable, and this was not what she needed. She needed him to be strong because she still needed someone to run to. And that someone was going to be him. Soon, the puzzling look on her face turned desperate.
"Why?" She whined the word. His words were moving her heart in one direction, and his actions were moving it another. She just wanted him to be okay.
"I will be okay if I'm with you. If you don't want me, I'll go to the library." These were the only words that made sense. These were the words that he knew would make her give in a little, but her eyes were not convinced. "Monggu is still at your house." He tried pointing out. "He probably hasn't been walked."
There was no fighting this, and she could tell. After all these years with Tae, she learned just how stubborn some people can be. He was standing there, pretending like everything was fine, and that was killing her. She was standing there, and all he could see was the pity she felt for him, and that was killing him. He began to move towards the door, and she stepped closer.
"Wait," she whispered the words as they came out. "I'll study here." She looked to the floor, and he tried to hold back a smile. "But I can't leave Minji out again." He nodded.
"Bring her here, and we can all study together." He let the smile dissipate as she looked up again.
"But you can't do this." His confused expression prompted her to continue. "I can't run to you if you always pretend to be okay." She shook her head softly, and for the first time, his heart melted at her words. Her eyes started to water as she tried to lock their eyes. "I learned that it's okay not to be okay."
He was stunned by her words, and they were completely off guard. His mind was trying to process too much, and in that moment, there was more. He watched as she walked to him, and unable to move, he stood as she wrapped her arms around him. He felt her head lay against his chest, the warmth from her arms as she held on to him. He could feel at that moment why she caught his attention.
The moment he saw her, there was always something in her eyes. There was something in the way that she carried herself. There was something about the way she would handle herself. There was something about the way she would allow herself to feel. And there was something about the way that she held on to him that knocked him breathless. He wasn't in pain, and his broken ribs were completely numb in comparison to this feeling. This feeling came from his chest, and he could sense that he was right. She was the one that he saw to complete his life, and this was what he wanted. He wanted someone that he could be with who understood what life had to offer. She was not afraid to show how she felt but to embrace it and understand that it is what makes her keep going.
The moment she felt was different. Everyone who was around her always comforted her this way and encouraged her not to hide it. She would watch her father bring home his frustrations, but his face would change in her presence. She could never help that she was fragile, but why couldn't everyone else be? She was always allowed to feel while everyone else pretended to be okay around her. She was never more special than someone else, and they should be able to feel. He had made her feel all types of emotions with his words. She would feel like she was on a cloud when thinking of his words. They were always pretty. She needed to do the same for him, and his words carried. 'Don't cry. I can't see your beautiful eyes.' She wouldn't cry if that's what he wanted, but she wanted something, too.
"Let's not be okay together; then we'll be okay." The words that filled her brain left her mouth as she buried her face in his chest. He finally came to his senses, letting his arms rise to wrap around her. He lay his hands on her back, and she felt electricity. His arms wrapped tightly, laying his head on hers gently.
"Fine. Let's be okay together." He let his lips kiss the top of her head and pulled away for a glance at her face. Her eyes were puffy with tears, and his face with a small smile that wanted nothing more than to see her smile. "How about this? I'll lay in bed for a while, and you can bring Minji and Monggu over." She nodded, giving a small smile.
"Fine. But there needs to be food." He held up his hand.
"I'll handle it. Now go so you can come back quickly." He motioned to shoo her from the home, walking her to the door. She watched as he closed it, and he watched as she walked down. And as they both departed ways, it was as though they'd gone underwater. For a moment, it had gotten hard to breathe or function with how much time they had been away from each other.