Mikkeli POV
The pain of the rut was bearable, at least at the beginning.
My skin was burning, my insides were twisted, and my heart was hammering in my chest, but the worst was hunger. Hunger to have something, desire needed to be sedated right now. Byron was pacing in my unconsciousness, whimpering in pain, begging me, demanding me to go to her and just take her.
After some time, the pain... stopped being bearable.
The first shot of silver made Byron calmer, but at the same time, I had to endure as if my bones were all broken. The more time passed, the worse it became. My body kept burning up, and at some point, I was almost sure I have lava in my veins. I could feel Byron trying to push me, ready to break loose and free himself from the confinement I put us in.
More shots of silver, Byron and I crawling in pain, Byron burning with lust viciously attacking my mind, me clawing my own chest just to make this hot, painful sensation inside of me go away.
I remember I was screaming. I remember my body twisting. I remember crying.
I remember strong hands chaining me to the wall, Gideon, Hayden, and Tony whispering that I can do it, and Byron whimpering in pain and begging me just to let go. At some point, I was hoping for more silver, it made my consciousness numb, and it was painful but more bearable than the fire inside me.
And then the scent, the most beautiful and delicious fragrance I have ever encountered.
Suddenly she was so close to me, and even though my consciousness was screaming that she shouldn't have been so close because it was dangerous, all I could've thought about was that I didn't want her to leave. Somehow I knew that I would've died if she'd left me.
When she touched me the first time, I still had small control over my body, but the moment I felt her lips on my body, it was over. Every moan, every thrust made Byron grow in power more and more. I tried not to look at her; I tried not to participate; I tried not to give in to her intoxicating smell and touch, even though I knew I was fighting a losing battle.
When she unlocked my chains, that was it, the small strings of control over my wolf I still had were broken, and Byron was free.
I looked at her through his eyes and touched her with hands I no longer had any control, diving into her as if she was the only source of air on this planet. Byron's lust was my lust, Byron's pleasure was my pleasure, there was no point in thinking anymore, the beast was out, and there was no force capable of stopping it from feasting.
I had no idea how many times we took her. I had no idea how many times we thrusted in her, how many times she screamed, not sure if it was in pleasure or in pain. The only thing that mattered was that, finally, we got what we wanted, our hunger was satisfied, and our waiting was over.
When I wake up from my deep slumber, I feel no pain, no exhaustion, only bliss. I feel as if I was thirsty all my life, and finally, I was able to fulfill my craving. For a short moment, I hope it was only a dream, just the hallucinations caused by the overwhelming pain of rut and silver in my veins. But the scent I can smell on me, on the sheets, is unmistakable. She was here, all that happened. Fuck, where is she now!
I stand up and put some clothes on myself and start banging on the door with a fury. Soon it's opened by Tony, and I immediately press him to the wall by his throat.
"I gave fucking orders!" I growl. I see red, and I want to kill him ."You let me hurt her!"
"You didn't hurt her," Tony claws my hand. "She wanted this; she wanted you!"
I yank him closer to me and bare my teeth, tightening my grip.
"Fuck... Mikkeli, just go... to her, you... can... kill me... later," he struggles to speak.
Hearing this instantly, I let go of him, and in a matter of minutes, I'm already in front of her bedroom, barging through the door.
Everybody looks at me blankly; the twins are with Kyle on the floor playing some board games, Rosie is with Hannah on the bed, and they are playing with stuffed animals.
I look at her, she looks tired and a little bit pale, but except for this, she seems alright.
"You look funny, Mikkeli, and you stink," says Rosie, and her brothers start giggling.
I take a big breath and try to compose myself.
"Can you all leave for a moment? I think I should talk with Hannah alone," I say.
Kyle immediately stands up and takes Rosie and the boys, and leaves.
I look at Hannah, who still lies in bed but avoids looking at me. I sigh as I sit down next to her, but also do not look at her. For a long moment, there is only an awkward silence between us.
"How much angry are you with me?" she finally asks.
"I'm not angry; I just hoped that it would be under different circumstances," I say, gathering my courage, and turn around to see her.
She looks so fragile, and I have to fight with a burning desire to take her into my arms.
"Why did you do it? I wasn't going to die..."
"Well, you could have," she interrupts me. "I didn't want to take that risk, and you were suffering, and I didn't wish for you to suffer, especially since I could stop your pain. Please don't look at me like that, Mikkeli," her voice starts trembling. "Was it really that bad? Was I that bad?"
"Goddess, no!" I shout and take her into my arms immediately; I can feel her small frame shivering in my arms as I hold her closer, pressing her head to my chest and putting a small kiss on her head.
"That was the best thing that ever happened to me," I whisper as I feel her arms wrapping around my waist. "I just didn't want to force you; I didn't want to hurt you; I didn't...."
"You didn't hurt me, Mikkeli, and you didn't force me. If we think about it carefully between both of us, it was you who didn't have a choice. It was me who knew what I was doing, not you. I'm sorry I made this decision by myself, I'm sorry I didn't respect yours, but I couldn't bear it. Your pain was too much for me."
For a long while, we just hold each other; we just give comfort to each other; we enjoy our touch, our heartbeats, and our calm breathing. Then I move and slowly push her a little bit to reach for the blanket covering her to pull it off of her.
"Mikkeli?" she looks at me, confused.
"Let me see, let me see what I did to you."
I move her covers away, pull the sleeves of her shirt and sweatpants up, and try not to scream, seeing dark bruises on her inner thighs and the prints of my fingers on her arms. Her fragile skin is covered with hickeys.
I bite my lips, trying to balance two feelings in me. The first one is the shame that I was so brutal with her and probably made her scream not only in pleasure but also in pain, but the second feeling is pride. Both Byron and I are so proud we finally claimed our mate; we finally took what was ours to take.
I raise my hand and start caressing her face with my fingers, pulling her closer. This time I kiss her slowly, gently. I enjoy her soft and warm lips. I enjoy the sparks and tingles running between us as Byron keeps purring in contentment.
"I have to leave for some time soon, but before that, I want to do something," I finally say, and I can see the curiosity on Hannah's face.
"Since the beginning, since the first moment I laid my eyes on you, everything was not how it's supposed to be. So before the war, I would like to do at least one thing right."
"What do you mean by that?" she asks, and again I place a small kiss on her head.
"Hannah, will you do me the honor and go on a date with me?"
She bursts with laughter, and I cannot stop myself from giggling too, especially when she says yes.
Tony is waiting for me in my room when an hour later, I leave the shower. Rosie was right; I did stink.
I take a deep breath and try not to snap again; I'm still angry with him.
"Mikkeli, I wanted to say I'm sorry. I'm sorry I disrespected your orders" he looks me straight in the eyes, and I know that cocky bastard may be apologizing but doesn't regret anything.
"Before you snap at me, in my defense, I say that I'm your Beta, not because I blindly follow your orders but because I can think by myself and because I care about you, Mikkeli. We tried, we really tried to fool Hannah that you were alright, but she's not stupid, and I know you don't want to admit it, but it was very bad with you. I'm your Beta, I'm your friend, and I will always protect you."
I take a deep breath, I understand his reasoning, but still, nearly a thought of what I could have done makes my blood runs cold.
"I know what's eating you. You're afraid that you will be just like your father, but you are not Mikkeli," Tony says.
I sigh; for a long moment, I'm not sure what I should think.
"I respected my father; I know he cared for me in his own way. He admired my strength, he was praising my skills, and he thought I'm worthy of being an Alpha. I think that was the main problem I had with Hannah. If he were still alive, he would see her as something to be ashamed of, but I know she would also see him equally. Since the day my first kill happened, when I was 14, everybody feared me and respected me, everybody except her. I handle it with difficulty when someone questions my judgment."
"I know what you're afraid of. You think that what happened between you two is the result of your suffering. She's a kind soul, so she decided to sleep with you to save your life, but that wasn't the case, Mikkeli. If she didn't have feelings for you, she wouldn't care about your suffering. She wouldn't let you touch her if she didn't want it."
There is a long silence after that, Tony's right; he's always right about me.
"So what is your next move?" my Beta immediately comes back to his cheerful personality.
"I'm taking her on a date," I say and turn around.
Somehow I feel embarrassed. Alpha of the Blackwood pack feels embarrassed about talking with his Beta about dating. Fortunately, Tony has no chance of teasing me any longer, and I'm sure he wants to because someone knocks on the door.
Honestly, I was expecting Hayden. I haven't spoken with him yet, and I am sure he must be pissed off because of the last events. No, this time is my younger brother who wants to talk with me.
I try not to look at him with pity; he doesn't need that. His bruises are gone, and he seems alright, but the way he looks around bothers me. It's a wounded animal look, Goddess if I could have, I would've killed them again.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" I ask him.
Kyle doesn't look at me; he plays with his fingers. I give him time, and I don't want to rush him.
"I want to tell you something because you are my Alpha and because you are my brother," he finally manages to stutter. "I am pregnant..."
I take a sharp breath.
"...and I want to keep the baby. I know you may not be happy; it's another shame for the family, for our bloodline, and..."
"Kyle, there is no shame in having a baby. You didn't do anything wrong; you have nothing to be ashamed of. If that's what you want, that is the only thing that matters. And you're going to be a wonderful parent," I say, and I put my arms around him.
It's the first time he allows me to touch him since then. He doesn't flinch; he is tensed at the beginning but slowly relaxes. I gently caress his hair.
"Kyle," I finally decide to stop the silence and let him go, "I'm taking Hannah on a date in three days. You are her friend; what do you think is the best idea?"
Kyle smiles at me, and I smile back. I was always so afraid of being seen as not strong enough, I was always so afraid of asking for help even with trivial daily things, and I was always so afraid of showing care about anybody. But then Hannah came into my life, and suddenly I want to let people in. I want to feel a connection. Yes, father was right, mate bond changes werewolves, but it doesn't mean that these changes are bad.