"So, the two of you confessed to each other and you're acting like you're dating but you're not dating yet"
"How could they, she just broke up with Jace"
"I just think it's stupid"
"Just because that's what you do Galene doesn't mean everybody can do it too"
"Hey, no need to make life complicated. If you like each other then you can just date them. You're single anyway"
Serenity listened as Quincey and Galene argued in front of her. Today was the third day of the Mid-year festival and they were on their way to buy traditional Japanese clothes. Their class had picked Japanese clothes mainly the yukata and kimono for the traditional wear that would be worn on the last day of the festival.
She had told the two of them about the arrangement between her and Malkiel. The reason for their ongoing argument is that.
"Hey Galene, remember you wouldn't date anyone you like too anyway"
"Hey too much!"
"Well, Quincey's not wrong. You always only dated for a short term and you go out with guys you find attractive, not guys you genuinely like"
"Plus you always confess to guys you like first, what's up with that?"
"Hey don't judge me, I confess so that the 'like' won't turn into 'love'. Confessing my feelings is a way for me to quickly deal with it."
Serenity only shook her head at her friend, their argument carried on until they had to go their separate ways.
When she got home, she took out her phone and quickly saw Malkiel's message. She smiled instantly.
From Malkiel
The practice took longer than expected. Have you picked out a kimono already?
The three of them went ahead to pick clothes since according to the guys, girls picking clothes takes too much time. The guys proceeded on their practice and would just pick their clothes later. Serenity closed her bedroom door and laid out the one she bought before taking a picture of it.
To Malkiel
We bought a Yukata instead. Galene said it's much more comfortable given how hot it'll be during the festival.
Then she sent the picture along with the message. She hadn't had the chance to put down her phone when the notification showed that Malkiel had already replied.
From Malkiel
That's beautiful, I bet it'll look good on you. I can't wait to see you in it.
Serenity felt herself blush at the sudden compliment. She continued to message him and would always be surprised at how fast his replies would be. She was happy at this development but she could also feel herself worrying that it might not last.
Then the image of Jace together with Hyacinth at their school's festival flashed through her mind again. She heaved out a deep sigh before checking her social media. She typed Jace's name on the search bar and saw that she was still blocked from him.
She was angry when she noticed this. She had vented out to Galene and Quincey about how he had the nerve to block her when he was the one who cheated.
That night sleep didn't come to Serenity, she was worried and anxious that Malkiel's feelings might change and she hated that she was already doubting him. It had been like that ever since she confessed to him.
She didn't know why this kind of thoughts would invade her when she was alone. She was genuinely happy whenever she was with Malkiel, she wouldn't deny that. It went up to the point where she didn't even think of Jace. But when she's all alone, all she can feel is the fear of being left behind and being betrayed once again.
It took her by surprise when her phone rang and it was Malkiel's name on the screen. She quickly took it and answered the call. She inhaled sharply when she heard his voice, somehow hearing his voice over the phone was different.
"Did I wake you up?"
Serenity smiled at the sudden worry in his voice.
"I'm not even asleep yet, why did you call"
"I don't know I just felt like I had to call you, and I couldn't sleep either"
Serenity chuckled
"What if I didn't answer your call?"
"Well, if you didn't answer after five rings I would've ended it, because it meant you were asleep already"
Serenity fell silent on the other end of the line. Sometimes Malkiel's kindness and caring attitude were too much for her. Like he wasn't real and was just a figment of her imagination.
"Serenity is something bothering you?"
Serenity grew silent as she heard him ask her that. A realization hit her.
"Serenity?"
"Yes, and I think I just knew what it was"
"Care to share?"
"Maybe sometime later."
"Sure I'll wait so how did your day go?"
Serenity felt her tears welling up but she wiped them away and talked happily with Malkiel on the phone. She held it all in until they both finally said goodnight and turned off the call.
There Serenity let all the tears out as she sobbed and wailed silently.
The reason why she doubts the kindness and care that Malkiel is showing her is because she never experienced it with Jace. She had always received the bare minimum of his attention which was why she was questioning everything that was being given to her now.
And that made her mad at herself, mad for doubting the love that Malkiel was showing her.
Mad for letting her fears get to her first, instead of letting herself love Malkiel the way she should have.
The way he deserved to be loved back.