Alice
I grabbed my shopping bag from the counter and nodded. I said a simple thank you to the girl who was standing behind the cashier. She smiled kindly almost as if she pitied me. Maybe because she felt horrible seeing a young girl who bought so many high-dose medicines at the same time. I believe she thought I was a person who was on the deathbed - waiting for The Grim Reaper to pick me up.
But the truth was less cruel though. This madly expensive prescription was for my Mom. She was the one who lay in bed all day and was always on the verge of death. Mom has always been sick since forever. I believed I couldn't even grasp any memories when she was healthy.
The only memory of how she looked was a single photo from her youth. She was extremely pretty in that picture. A hazel-eyed girl with brunette hair was smiling happily to the camera. Other than that, Mom was practically a living corpse every day.
And I, as her only child, was the one who was responsible for her. Ranging from her medical treatment, medications, and even her day-to-day upkeeping. It's me and only me who did it every day.
No, I wasn't complaining at all. I love her with all of my heart so taking care of her wasn't a big deal for me. It was just sometimes, everything seemed to take its toll on me. Just like today.
Although the weather was extremely nice, my inside self was raging with a bunch of negative emotions. Maybe I felt tired because I needed to juggle my job in the restaurant and my task of nursing Mom at home. Or maybe, it was just a periodical hormonal problem that made me more sensitive to everything.
After all, a female was an unpredictable human being, right?
I strode lazily to my home. It is located at the end of the street. A shabby old house with leakage here and there. Its brown paint chipped and showed the bare concrete behind. The fence was only made from a bunch of rusty bars lined into one. At a glance, this was indeed a haunted house in disguise.
Ah, what a perfect place to grow up.
I pushed the gate open and it made a loud creaking sound. I walked toward the door and unlocked the key. My hands immediately pushed it open and another loud sound was created.
"Mom?" I called my Mom when I was entering our home.
No answer. Of course. Mom wouldn't be able to speak louder than the sound of buzzing static. She only let out a tiny voice occasionally. When she was happy and told me that I was pretty, for example.
Stupid me. There was no use to call her when she couldn't reply to you.
I quickly moved to Mom's room and I saw her sleeping peacefully in her bed. I sighed. I didn't know whether should I pity her inability to do everything, or if it was better to envy her because all she did was lie on the bed all day. I knew that she also despised her condition. So, it was better for me to bury all of my thoughts deep inside my head.
"Mom? Wake up and have a meal first."
She didn't budge. Maybe my voice wasn't loud enough to wake her up. I tried once again. This time, I also shook her bony body lightly.
"Mom, wake up. You should have a meal and take your medicines."
She groaned a bit before blinking her eyes slowly. Her dull hazel eyes opened and stared at me with an empty look. She smiled for a split second - signaling that she was indeed, awake.
I let out an exhale and forced a smile despite feeling aches all over my body. I took a spoonful of porridge and fed her carefully. She chewed it a few times and swallowed it with so much effort. As if she didn't have any ability to do that simple task anymore.
"Mom, you good?" I asked her. A wave of panic washed me seeing how weak she looked right now.
She nodded while smiling at me. Her signature smile that had been missing for a long time.
"I'm okay, Dear."
Silent again. I fed her quietly and so did her. Then she turned to face me as if she remembered something important.
"How old are you now?" She asked me.
Ah, her dementia must have worsened. For these past two years, her dementia had made her condition worsen so much to the point she would occasionally forget my name. At that time, she would think that I was a nurse who had been paid to take care of her. Or an unwanted visitor at the other times too.
So, getting a question like this from her wasn't a strange thing though.
"I'm seventeen, Mom. My eighteenth birthday is coming in a few months."
She pulled out a smile. An insanely happy smile that would usually appear when someone has the greatest blast in her life.
"Ah, I don't think I can be on your birthday, Dear. But, I'm happy knowing that he will be coming soon."
"He? Who is he?" I played it out with her. These conversations had been replayed a thousand times between us. This same exact conversation. Words by words.
"He. The man who will come for you on your eighteenth birthday, Dear. He will be coming soon."
I nodded my head and smiled. What else I could do anyway? Telling her that her words are straight-up bullshit and sent her into cardiac arrest? No. No matter how tiresome taking care of her, she is still my Mom. I love her will all of my heart. And I like to think of her words as random gibberish instead. After all, she had always been sick and never been in the right state of mind.
"Yes, Mom. He will come."
***
The work seems to become tougher each day. Yesterday, I was assigned to move those ridiculously heavy boxes from the truck into the freezer. I did the loading for so many hours until my body felt sore and my back aching so much. And today, he told me that I needed to work overtime to cover my coworker who was suddenly absent from her job. Apparently, she also went out of town with that nasty old man for a "business trip".
Moron. Did they even realize that their affair become the hottest talk among us? And what is that old man thinking actually? Banging a young girl who was the same age as her daughter? Woah, the world is indeed crazy.
Well, that's not my business right now. The only thing I needed to do was stand behind the cashier and register orders for the whole day. With probably ten minutes rest at lunchtime.
Fortunately, the day went slowly. I could steal some time to rest my sore feet by sitting for a few minutes. At midnight, my shift was finally over. I checked all the transactions and counted every penny so it made into a correct amount. Then I moved to the kitchen and helped my coworkers who still did some cleaning in there.
Today was the toughest and the most tiring day since I'd worked here two years ago.
Finally, I could head back home at almost 1 AM. My mind kept worrying about Mom who was being left alone at home. I usually would dash to right after my shift ended to check on her. But today, my daily schedule messed up because of a certain girl who decided it would be fun to seduce her boss and go on a trip with him.
Damn, I sound like an ignorant bitch who always thought the world is unfair. But the truth was the world indeed would never be fair. Just look at my miserable life. I wouldn't be living like this if the world was fair, right?
I walked in silence and glanced at my surroundings a few times. I must admit that I am a little bit of a scaredy cat. I had so much paranoia going on in my head. So, walking alone in this late night gave me some adrenaline rush.
The road was practically empty and the only light source was from the street lights. And because of our slum neighborhood, many of those lights had shone poorly. Blinking a few times then shut off for some minutes and turned on again. Didn't help to ease my fear at all.
Just when I thought everything was safe, I heard some rustling coming from the bushes across the road. I stopped and glanced at it.
Nothing.
There was nothing on those bushes other than the wind sweeping them. I definitely should be running right now. My brain kept making strange scenarios and the only way to solve it was to go inside my home. Feeling safe and sound.
So that's what I did. I dashed so quickly that my underpants were on fire. My vision was only focused on one point - our house which was only two minutes away. I didn't care even when the howling sound blaring so loud at my back. Or even when the light practically turned off and the only one was coming from the moon.
I'm scared. And if I stop, I might piss myself in here.
After what seemed like an eternity, I arrived at my house, unlocked the door, and slid quickly to enter the place. My breath ragged because of that running thing and I could feel cold swear drenched all over my body. My legs finally gave up and I fell to the floor while staring at the empty corner like a fool.
I hate the night shift! Seriously!
I'd spent ten minutes contemplating my choice to work at that restaurant. It didn't pay me well and the boss was suck. The only good side was I could take some meals back home and it helped with cutting the expense. But after tonight, maybe I should reconsider my option of resigning.
The house was strangely quiet tonight. I couldn't even hear Mom's cough which usually became frequent when the night came. A sense of uneasiness crept into my heart. I suddenly felt a bolt of panic struck me. I instantly jumped on my feet and ran to Mom's room.
And what I saw with my very own eyes was probably the most painful sight I've ever seen.
"Mom!"
It was horrible. She was lying on her face on the floor. A ceramic bowl broke and scattered around her. It was clear that she fell when she was trying to get that bowl. And that blood. I'd never seen so much blood pooling in one place in my entire life.
I bolted to her in a hurry - making an effort to turn her body and put it in my lap. It was easy. Mom was only skin and bone and she almost weighed like nothing.
"Mom! Wake up! Please!" I yelled to her.
But I got no response. Her face was full of blood. Some because of the crash and some because of the glass sherd. And it was the same with her body. So many injuries in one single body.
And it seemed like all of my life crumbled into pieces.
We arrived at the hospital a half hour later. And the only thing I could do was stare blankly at the operation sign that was turned on. My mind went blank and I couldn't think about anything other than my Mom's safety.
How was she now? Will she safely finish her operation and live happily with me again?
No matter how hard it was to take care of her, Mom would always be the most important person in my life. The only relatives I had in my lonely life. And I couldn't bear any pain of losing her.
One hour passed like forever. The operation sign had turned off and just when I thought everything would be better, the worst had come. A man in a white gown, definitely the doctor, was walking toward me.
"Please tell me everything is alright, Doc. My Mom, she is fine, right?"
That man took off his mask and showed me his tired face. I didn't know what happened inside, but his face told me that there must be a tough battle before.
And to my horror, he shook his head. His eyes shot a pitiful look at me while his lips told me the scariest fact that made my limb go numb.
"I'm sorry, we can't save her. Your Mom had a cardiac arrest the moment she entered the operation room."
I froze. What kind of buffoonery was this? It must be a hidden camera prank, right?
"We've tried to save her with all of our might, but it was clear that her body had already given up all of the efforts we've done to save her. We're truly sorry, Miss Knox."
And just like that, he nodded lightly and strode away from me. I feel limbless. I instantly dropped to the floor and bawled my eyes out. Crying.
Everything scattered like that ceramic bowl. The only person I dearly care about and hold tightly in my heart now has passed away. Leaving me alone in this cruel world.
I'm alone now.
***
Mom's funeral was being held by her only brother. My uncle whom I didn't even know existed. He appeared right on the night of her death, hugging me tightly while telling me that everything would be okay. And he told me his name was Jeff.
My mind was too baffled by everything that happened. I couldn't even process the fact that this mysterious man, who looked nothing like my Mom, came to our home and said that he was my Mom's brother. The one I even never heard any stories about.
And I was too stunned by the messed up situation so I couldn't realize how this man practically smelled like a wet dog being drenched in rain for two hours.
But, no matter how horrible it sounded, I felt relieved to have him now. I didn't think I would be able to do the funeral by myself though. It was indeed too hard for me to bear it alone. So having him for a while was a really good way to keep me sane.
There wasn't much to see at the funeral. Hell, Mom didn't even have any friends, and neither do I. I thought I only saw four people who said they were Mom's friends and how they greatly felt at a loss for Mom's departure. And those people were kind of strange. The same wet dog smell and hunched back signaling tough labor work they have done.
I believe Mom used to be working in that field back then.
And I thought there were two of my coworkers who came to offer their condolences. They came to bid goodbye to Mom and gave me a light pat on the shoulder - assuring me that everything would be okay and they would help me with anything. Being told like that so much to the point I didn't feel any assurance anymore.
I knew I wouldn't be okay. But that's fine. I never be one too.
I was trying to find Jeff because he seemed to disappeared suddenly. After searching for like fifteen minutes, I found him talking with a man. A distinctly different-looking man from the ones I've seen today. That man wore a black suit behind his nice body and at a single glance, I knew he was an important person. A rich one maybe? Because his aura screamed money, gold, and power loudly.
Both of them were talking seriously. He told me something I couldn't make out for while Jeff listened to him with full attention and a casual nod a few times.
I wondered what happened between them. And I wondered what were they talking about. Was it possible that they were talking about Mom? What if Mom turned out to have a huge amount of debt that I didn't know and needed to be paid right now?
Damn, I'm in a big trouble then.
I inched closer to them and they quickly shifted their head towards me. I gave them an awkward smile. That mysterious man stared at me behind his dark sunglasses. Although he was wearing that expensive-looking shades, I knew he was eyeing me from head to toe. And he pulled out a smile and light nod to me. He back at Jeff again and this time, I knew what he was talking to him.
"Don't forget our agreement, Jeff."
Jeff nodded again and that man casually walked away from us. He moved passed me and for a split second, I could feel the time had stopped ticking. As if the only things that matter at this moment were only him and me. I caught him looking at me for a second before he marched his way out. His smell, the musky aromatic smell, still lingered even after he left.
And my dumb heart skipped a beat without any reason.
"What are you doing here, Alice?" Jeff asked me with a worried look.
"Everything's fine?" He asked again.
I bobbed my head and scratched my hand unconsciously.
"All is fine. I just wondering where did you go because you suddenly disappeared. Who is that guy?"
Jeff smiled and patted my shoulder.
"Someone important, Alice. You'll know it soon."
I raised my eyebrow and stared at him with a confused look.
"I'll know it? Is he supposed to be related to me in some ways?"
I hope Jeff will give a clear answer and not some ambiguous statement now. But no, he just shrugged his shoulder and left the room.
And now, here I was. Alone with the biggest question mark in my head.
"Who are you?"