ALANA'S POV
When I couldn't get a word out of Lucian, I just shook my head.
"I'm so stupid .." the tears which I had been trying really hard to hold in causally rolled down my cheeks. "I'm so stupid .." I whispered again, this time, a pained chuckle escaping my lips as I turn away to leave.
This time, Lucian doesn't follow me, and when I reach the stairs, about to climb up, I turn to see Lucian still standing there, his eyes fixed on me.
"Diana will bear her child out of wedlock, because she will not and can never be your Luna."
I don't wait for a reaction and I turn and skidded upstairs, my hands gripping the railings tight.
I was so blinded by the tears in my eyes that I don't see where exactly I was headed to until I bump into someone.
Sniffing, I rub my eyes and my eyes grew cold seeing Diana standing there, wondering what she was doing on my floor.
The worry in her eyes sickened me, and I so badly wanted to give her a piece of my mind, but I respected the fact that she was pregnant and only intended to side step her and go my way without speaking to her.
"Is it Lucian?" She asked In a whisper, looking into my teary eyes which concealed the genuine hate I habored for her.
I pull my arm from her grip.
"Why do you even care?" I snap at her, realizing that she probably didn't know I knew her dirty secret was out and that she was the reason I had tears in my eyes.
She sure as hell looked confused at the 360° change of attitude towards her, but I wasn't sure I wanted to tell her I knew of her pregnancy. I wanted to know just how far she'll go to keep me in the dark like a fool while pretending she cared about me and Lucian.
Well, I knew who she genuinely cared for now.
"I care because we're best friends, Alana. What's wrong? What did Lucian say to you? Did he hit you again?"
I just pushed her away with the side of my arm before walking off, holding in the anger brimming in me like a larva boiling in a volcano, about to erupt. And I feared I might badly hurt Diana if I stayed more than a second with her at that moment.
She-wolfs were mostly vunerable when they were pregnant because they'll be unable to shift and they'll need to rest most of the time they were pregnant in other not to stress the baby. Out of ten pregnant she-wolves in labor, only three survived, which showed how crucial it was to ensure a pregnant she wolf did not go through the slightest stress, emotionally, physically or mentally.
I hated Diana now, and I hated she had a baby for Lucian, but I would never stoop so low to hurt the baby growing inside of her because it had done nothing to me. And honestly, that would just be stooping low. Even for someone like me- I could never go that far.
When I enter my room, I shut the door behind me before dropping to the floor, my back sliding against the door as I let all my tears out, my eyes like a well which let out over flowing water from its mouth.
My heart ached so much that I wanted to wring it out my chest and throw it away. But what use will it be if I died now? Lucian would not even shed a single tear. I doubt he would even notice me until after some weeks when I must have rottened up. He'd be happy- obviously, and make Diana his Luna without hesistation, marking and claiming her like he supposed to do to me but didn't. And they'd have the baby and live happily ever after.
Tears dropping down to my hands which I held out Infront of me, palms facing the sky, I whispered.
"Of all the people to torture... Why me, moon goddess? Why did you have to make someone like him my fated mate? Why did you have to ruin my life? Have I really done anything to you?" My sobs got louder and I just didn't care if everyone in the mansion heard me. I was so fucking tired of pretending like everything was okay when it was not. "If I have, then I'm sorry. Just please end this. I'm tired. I'm tired of being the stupid, used, under rated pawn in the chess game. I'm tired of being made a fool out of."
But as usual, I was left with the silence in my room. I would be surprised if the moon goddess had even said anything. She never did. Legends say she watches down on us from the moon, and everything she did, she did for a reason, but how could she stay up there and watch all these things happening to me and not even say a word about it?
I had believe the moon goddess was in existence, and I had prayed to her to give me a mate who would and cherish me, who would accept all my flaws and not even dare to look at another woman behind my back.
But now, I doubted her existence. I doubted if she was even real in the first place because I hated her. I hated her for giving me a mate like Lucian. Couldn't she see that Lucian already loved someone else? Couldn't she have made them mates? Why was I so unlucky?
Did the moon goddess just enjoy torturing me this way? Did she mistake me for Diana or something? Wasn't she as great as Legends had said?
Tears in my eyes, I didn't know when I slept off, still leaning against my door.
All night I dreamt about Lucian and Diana standing side by side, ludicrous, evil smirks on their faces as they watched me burn in raging flames.