Chan lay in bed, wondering if there was something he could do. Did she really need space, or was there something more he should be doing? He couldn't just let her continue to be this upset, could he? He took her home as she asked; he didn't speak. Unsure if the words that he would speak were going to be the right ones. He watched her get out of the car, and he should have stepped out. He watched her walk into the house, and he should have stopped her. The possibilities played in his head. Chan would find himself lying in bed before his alarm would wake him up.
Even though last night might not have gone well, Chan held out the hope that he could at least take her to school this morning. He pushed himself from bed, getting himself ready. He had repeated it in his head at least 20 times, and now it was here. He checked his pocket for the box and looked in the mirror. He needed to make sure his confident face was ready. With a big sigh, he left the room. He walked from the clubhouse and to the car, driving to her home. He parked outside of the gate, his heart pounding. He stepped out, walking to the bell.
He was answered by her mom, asking if she was ready to go to school. Soyeon's mother told him that she left earlier, saying she needed to study. As worry began to set in, he wondered if he was doing the right thing. Maybe she needed the space, but why couldn't she tell him that? He went back to his car, continuing his routine and going to school. Thoughts of seeing her in the hall made his heart rush, while his brain said to give her space. He wanted her to feel loved, not smothered. But why was she holding back?
Chan pulled into the school, heading straight to class to prevent her from becoming more upset. He wanted to give her the space, but there was something about not knowing. There was more bothering her, and she was holding it back. He was sure when he saw her face last night, but it wasn't the first. He sat in the back of the classroom, waiting for the class to begin. It was unusual for them not to talk this long, and he wondered if he had become the problem. Was he still not the best for her? His thoughts went to the rooftop, wondering if that would be where they could talk things out. They'd always go there, and maybe she would be waiting. Maybe it's because of finals, and she's just stressed.
As the test began, Chan tried to focus on getting the best scores. He had been studying extra hard and would binge-study when he could. His goal was always to show her he was smart, and he wanted to go to college with her. He stared at his test, filling in the right answers. As he grew closer to the end of the test, he felt excited and anxious. He worked hard to convince himself that he could make things different for her. As he finished his test, he took a deep breath. He stood up with his backpack, handing in the test before leaving.
Chan walked through the halls, giving himself time to think. He wanted to prepare for the worst, but he felt there might be a chance. He thought about it, and if she needed the summer, he was willing. If she needed more time, he could give that to her. He knew he might have pushed them too fast, but he was willing to slow down if it meant keeping her. He had been thinking about how focused she had been. She was always talking about being her own person, and maybe she needed the time. He was willing.
He knew he was going to college with her, and he could give her what she wanted. He could, and he knew that. He climbed the stairs, his watching showing 15 minutes before the next class. He opened the door to the rooftop, scanning it for any sign of her. He sat down on the ledge, his eyes locked on the door. Chan tried to focus on keeping his thoughts calm. His mind was everywhere, and he wondered if she was really done. He looked over the ledge at the campus below; the empty campus below was just as lonely as him.
With 7 minutes remaining, Chan decided to give up. His chances were better to go to her than sit there looking helpless. He picked himself up, exiting the stairs and moving down to the hall. His body bounced at every step, his mind wanting to move with haste. He appeared at the bottom of the stairs, and he could hear all the whispers. The hall sounded frantic with the talk of finals that slowly subsided as he began to move through the halls. Eyes followed him when he looked towards her locker, which was empty and surrounded by her friends.
"Move." His voice was stern, her friends looking at him with confusion. The whole time he and Soyeon had been together, even though her friends were annoying, he would be nice. It was different now, and he needed his girl. He needed her, and he was prepared to push everyone out of the way.
"Excuse you!" Chungha yelled, her voice being carried through the hall. Chan ignored her, his back planting against Soyeon's locker while he waited. Changbin came over, his hands reaching out between the two. He looked at Chan, who was ignoring the situation, and then at Chungha, who was giving Chan an evil side eye.
"Chan, you okay?" He playfully slapped his chest, Chan giving him a disapproving look that made him back away.
"Leave." His words were serious, and Changbin had known better than to bother his friend. The two had been friends since they were 7, and he knew when something was wrong with Chan that the world could shake.
"Okay." He responded, looking towards the girls who were annoyed. "Here, let's move." He tried to push them away, but they were adamant about staying. Chan tried to keep a level head, his eyes focused on the hallway. Felix walked over, his eyes checking Changbin before he even made a motion to help.
As the two exchanged glances, they knew that the only way to solve the problem at the moment was to move the girls. They took turns trying to persuade each girl to walk away. Each gave a different argument as to why they should not move, even though their lockers were nowhere near Soyeon's. Each girl yelled a different reason why Chan should leave, but he ignored them, his eyes staying sharp. Soon, all the boys had come to his aid, forming a crowd around them as the girls called them 'gangsters.'
As the girls began to grow angrier, their words grew harsher. The boys tried shushing them, knowing the temper that Chan held when it came to Soyeon. There was one time that another guy in the school tried to date her, knowing how Chan felt, resulting in Chan getting suspended for a week. The kid soon changed schools thanks to Chan's father, who 'took out the competition' for him. The boys knew how scary Chan was, but they also knew how his father would react to him. Chan had finally had enough of the words, and his body took a deep breath before his fist struck the locker next to Soyeon's.
"Leave!" He let his hand fall, his knuckles beginning to bleed from striking the hard metal locker. The girls looked at the dent, deciding to turn away and let the boys guide them away.
Chan didn't have to wait any longer as Soyeon appeared down the hall. He waited at her locker, his eyes locked on her every move. She was working hard to ignore him regardless of the quiet hallway that was watching the entire scene unfold. She tried to act like she had no idea about what was going on. Her eyes stared at the ground as she walked while the girl next to her ran back to her group. She had gone to get Soyeon, letting her know that Chan was waiting at her locker. Soyeon knew this would happen and was trying to skip going to her locker, but now she was forced to pay attention to him. As she approached, he watched her ignore him as he stood in front of her locker.
"Soyeon, talk to me." The halls began to whisper as she motioned for him to move, and he obliged. He stepped to the side, letting her access her locker. Her eyes looked towards the dent in the locker next to her and then at the lock. "Let's talk, please?" He asked, the hallway filling with whispers as she said nothing. The silence was hurting him more than the fact that she couldn't even look at him right now. Was he this bad?
"Go away." She spoke clearly, the whispers heightening and conversations starting as the other students focused on them. He continued to listen to the whispers, his heart and pride both shattering. He was not going away.