He took her hand, holding on to it tight as he pulled her along behind him. Soyeon tried to pull away at first, using her other hand to free herself from his grasp. Chan continued to look straight, determined to fix the situation. He was willing to do anything; he just needed to find out what was wrong. As she slowly stopped fighting back, he pulled her to the open staircase that led outside the building. He climbed down, pulling her each step. She twirled her wrist, trying to escape his grasp before freeing herself when they reached the bottom. He turned quickly, a slap hitting his face as his eyes looked at her. Maybe he deserved that. He accepted it, his eyes noticing the hurt she held.
"Why?" She screamed; the embarrassment was filling her with rage.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked, his voice was trying to remain calm when speaking with her. He never raised his voice at her, and he couldn't. In his heart, she was and forever will be his first and only love. She looked down at the ground, no answer. "What's wrong, Soyeon?" He asked, his hand reaching out to her.
As she stood there in silence, he wondered if she was closing her heart to him. His mind wondered if she could easily erase the love that they'd built and shared for the past few years. Was it that easy for her? While she stood there, her eyes adjusted to his face. They were cold and showed her broken heart. He saw that there was no longer any love in her eyes, and he wondered if it had been his fault. He watched her lips part; they were ready to speak, but he wasn't ready to listen.
Chan looked into the eyes of his first love, watching her spirit crumble under him. He watched her eyes roam and no longer look at him. His thoughts carried him to the past few days and how everything seemed normal. He went through each day, his mind trying to pinpoint when things began to take a turn for the worse. Was it last night? Was it yesterday morning? Was it the first day of finals? Her eyes contemplated as her lips prepared, practicing what she wanted to tell him.
"Is there someone else?" He didn't want to ask, and this would shatter his heart. This was the only thought that made sense unless he really did do something. She stood silently while his heart anticipated the heartbreak. He watched her head shake softly.
"Chan, stop." She said, her voice getting caught in her own throat.
"Then tell me." He demanded. Chan stood in front of her, his eyes watching hers. "Tell me why you're taking your love away!" He tried to keep his voice calm while his heart silently continued to break at her expressions.
-
He had been wanting nothing but her heart. After all these years of chasing, he wanted to know what he did to make her run away. As a young boy, he watched her in class. She was always determined to work hard, and he would work harder to have her. His heart had been captured by her when she passed by him in school one day. He was running through the halls, and he had been tripped by her. She did not care who he was but was frustrated that he was not following the rules. As he lay on the floor, he turned to look at her. She flipped her hair, looking back at him on the floor.
"We're supposed to walk. Don't you follow the rules?" She asked him before walking away. His heart jumped at her turning as he quickly scrambled to his feet; she disappeared into a classroom. He waited outside the room, pulling her by the backpack when she tried to walk past him.
He had never had anyone who treated him like this, and no one had been so careless before to do or say anything to him. He had grown up with workers who listened to his every move and never denied him of anything. His parents had become the same, encouraging him to do better but being okay if he didn't meet the standards. His dad would excuse the behavior, stating he was young and bound to make mistakes. While the mother made his behavior worse, spoiling him at every chance she could. If there was something he wanted to have, say, or do, he was always allowed.
He looked at the girl who had the audacity to treat him otherwise, her hand swatting as he tried pulling on her backpack. He was curious about if she knew him or if she was playing some cruel joke. The look on her face told him otherwise, and he wondered where she came from. He pushed her away from his grasp, stopping her from hitting his hand. She turned around with an angry face, poking his chest.
"Who do you think you are?" She poked again, rolling her eyes at him. He looked at her hair that was pulled up in two ponytails, her eyes locked on him.
For a moment, he was caught by surprise at her finger poking his chest, his hand rising to touch his heart. He had felt a tingle in his chest and found himself unable to speak. He looked at her, his face filled with confusion while hers was annoyance. How had she done this? He was about to speak when he pulled her one more time. This was the first time that someone had treated him this way, but he was no longer angry. He was more amused and confused.
"Why?" She yelled. Her hand swatted his once again as he pulled her backpack.
"Why are you walking away?" He asked, and she rolled her eyes.
"Are you the president?" She asked, her head turning slightly at an angle. He watched as her eyes looked him up and down.
"No." He stated simply, and she crossed her arms.
"As Vice President of the school, I told you to stop running. Now let me go." She turned to walk away, but he grabbed her again. This time, he held onto one of her ponytails. "Ahh." She turned, her eyes angry and glazed with tears. "Why?" She screamed again.
"Do you know who I am?" He asked, dropping her hair before she had the chance to swat at him again.
"No, I don't care. Can I leave?" She spoke so harshly, and as he watched her walk away, he tried to hold back his soft smile.
She had no idea who he was or cared to know, and that was a first for him. He watched her walk away; the girls at the end of the hall waited for her. He watched as they walked away, whispering in her ears. He waited for her to look back but watched as she brushed away her friends from beside her. He smiled a little more, his heart being moved at how different she was. He couldn't help but want to repeat the interaction; her carelessness towards him was endearing instead of annoying.
He would slowly find out her schedule, the classes they would share, and the love that would soon blossom from the interactions. The indifference she held felt nice, and there were so many things he adored about her already. She could have easily ignored him like everyone else in the halls had done. She could have become submissive when he came to talk with her, but she didn't back down. She could have fallen for him like all the other girls in the school, but she could have cared less for that type of thing.
-
As Chan looked at her, he noticed the look on her face was similar to the look that she shared the first time they met. Her eyes could have cared less about who he was, and there was more than just him. Was this the problem? He was so focused on her, while there was more than just him that she was focused on. She was focused on her future, her finals, and her life, and he only cared about one thing. As she stared at him with those cold eyes, it began to make more and more sense. Maybe he was moving too fast, his focus on the present while she was preparing for her future. He dropped to his knees, looking at her feet that were in front of him. His head drooped, his hands sitting idly on his knees.
He had given up the fight and was ready to submit. He wanted to submit to whatever she needed, and he was ready to give it up. She looked down at him; her cold gaze had not faltered in the slightest. He contemplated reaching into his jacket pocket, feeling the box that lived within the seams. He had been holding his heart back, but what else was there to do? What more could he do? With his stance not budging, Chan took a deep breath. As he let the air escape from his lungs, his head rose to meet her eyes.
"Soyeon, please," He started, looking back at the ground. "I-I'm sorry for what I did if I hurt your feelings or-" He was ready to ramble but stopped himself. This wasn't what she wanted to hear, and he needed to try harder.
He looked at his fingers and clutched his pants, the fabric helping to soothe his uneasy heart that continued to break slowly. He just wanted her to see that he was serious, but he was unsure of the outcome. Any other time, he knew when to give up or keep going, but this time was different, and he knew that. Chan held his breath, his eyes darting back and forth before he looked up at her. Her expression was still cold, and that was breaking his heart. The love that they shared had it really disappeared overnight.
"I will do better, and I'll do more." His voice broke mid-sentence, prompting him to clear his throat. "I-" He let the words fall when her eyes showed no emotion. "I can't give up on us." He let the words spill, his eyes falling to the ground.
Chan knew he might have fallen for her too hard, but what was he supposed to do now? She was the only thing that kept him going, and he wanted to do well for her. His whole life was crumbling in front of him as he sat on his knees. He knew she wasn't this heartless, and there had to be something. The images from the past few days of them being together were good. She had been smiling, and they had been enjoying themselves. He remembered their walks, their meetings, and even the week of tutoring. Everything had been normal, and now she was pushing it all away.
"Chan-" She started, and his eyes looked up at her. He wasn't expecting a response, and the surprised look on his face worried her, so she spoke quickly. "I need to get to class." Her words were so harsh, and he knew it was because she wanted him to hurt. She turned, trying to make her way back into the school before he pulled her. She turned around, his hand dropping to prevent her from getting angry.
"Soyeon," His voice faltered, falling softly as his hand tried to touch hers before pulling away. "Is this it?" He asked, and she had no words. Her gaze let him know that she was no longer interested in the conversation.
She was ready to leave once more before he yelled her name, falling to one knee this time. He was breathing heavily, his eyes filled with tears as he looked at her feet. He watched her feet turn towards his body, working up the courage to move his arms. Chan's thoughts were everywhere as he tried to think of the best solution, but he knew he couldn't grab her. He wanted to steal her heart again, but he knew how stubborn she was. He had worked so hard, and he wanted her love to go to him. He forced his hand, reaching into the pocket to present the box. He opened it in front of her, his eyes staring at her feet. His heart couldn't take the pain if he looked at her eyes.
"Soyeon, I promise to stay by your side. To make you happy. I really do love you. Please." His voice stopped as he waited. There was more he had prepared, but it would mean nothing at this moment. He spat the sentences out of order, hoping that one would capture her attention in the slightest. He waited, his feet still on the staircase.
Chan's eyes finally looked up, and he just wanted to know if he had at least made her heart stir at the words. She stood there with a cold look as he waited for her response.