My best friend is straight ( chapter 13)
The following day they were having early morning lectures...
Chigozie: oga wake up.. won't you go to class?
Mike: yawning... Leave me abeg....
Chigozie: don't tell me you're not going?
Mike: yes I'm not going.
Chigozie: you must be joking ah swearr..why ain't you going?
Mike: look at who is advising me to go for class..
Chigozie: watin you mean? So I can't advise you to go to class?
Mike: hahaah that is not what I mean uncle...stop changing your face for me abeg.... 😒
Chigozie: stand up from the bed and go and bath now! We're running late....
Mike: yawning again. Just go I'll come and meet you in class
Chigozie: no! We're going together so get up now before I carry belt on you!
Mike: before you do what?
Chigozie: flóg you na😂😂
Mike: 😂😂😂... See this igbo man? Na so you want dey flóg your friend boyfriend? 😂
Abi how did you put that English again yesterday night?
Chigozie: so you remember I said that?
Mike: why won't i..
Chigozie: okay. You want to be disobeying your new boyfriend?
Mike: 😂😂😂 see this werey! Boyfriend no go even fit you!
Chigozie: 😳..see you! I'll be the most caring boyfriend ever.. all my girls can testify to that..
Mike: testify to what? To you fvcking and leaving them? Yeye guy..
Chigozie: 😂😂😂see guy! You see that gender called females... That's the best way to treat some of them. Bàng them and go. The more you want to do something nice with them the more they fvck up...
Mike: now what is the difference between you and my boyfriend? Both of you na big liàr and chéat.
Chigozie: you're still calling him your boyfriend?
Mike: oh.. don't mind me jaree.. I have moved on from him....2 days of cryiñg is more than enough.
Chigozie: mumu guy...na woman heart you carry for chest.
Mike: smiles....yeah you're right.
Chigozie: ok okay... Stand up and go and bath.
Mike: hmm what's with you this morning? Why acting like a good person? 😒😒
Chigozie: I'm a good person na... I just don't want to see you safe again... Enough of the cryingg and sobbering....let move on.
Mike:hmmm... Looking a chigozie in a weird way..🤨🤨
Chigozie: what? 🤨
Mike: you have now turn to relationship adviser?
Chigozie: I go slaap this boy ah swearr...😠
Mike: 😂😂😂... Slaap me na? Yeye guy.
He said as he stood up from the bed..
Chigozie: use his leg to kvick Mike on his buttt!
Go and bath joor..
Mike: 🙄🙄 no dey hít my bom bom
Chigozie: 😂😂.. oga go bath we are running late..
Mike: enters the bathroom.. brushing his teeth. Hmmm why the sudden attitude, I'm finding this weird.. he said in his mind as he continues to brush his teeth...
About 10 minutes later he was done bathing...then he came out and met indomie on the floor..
Mike: 😳😳what is this?
Chigozie: coming out of the kitchen with spoon and fork..
Na bath you dey bath since? Rub cream so that we can eat abeg.. he said as he sat down resting his back on the bed..
Mike: wait.. na you cook this indomie?
Chigozie: what do you take me for? I can cook indomie na..
Mike: hmmm abeg eat your indomie I'm not eating..
Chigozie: you're not what? I cook this Indomie so that you can eat and now your saying what I don't know.
Mike: you cook for me? Why?
Chigozie: have you eaten anything tangible since you were doing your cryy cry..
Mike: 🙄🙄🙄.. hmm ok oo.
Chigozie: do Sharp now? Let eat abeg. I'm hungry
Mike: uncle calm down let me wear my boxers..
Chigozie: starting to eat...
Then Mike joined him... And they both started eating..
Mike: hmmm you try shaa..the indomie is quite spicy.
Chigozie: smiling... Normal normal me I be chef na.. I cook very well.
Mike: 😒😒 na my problem with you be this.. I don hail you small now, you don dey make mouth
Chigozie: 😂😂😂 this boy na foool.. I can cook abeg.. you can't tell me otherwise.
Mike: abi? Okay after we finish class today we should branch the mini market and get something..
Chigozie: okay sure! What are we buying?
Mike: soup ingredients...
Chigozie: we go cook soup? 😳😳
Mike: yeah...
Chigozie: shaking his head in jubilation... looking very Happy.
Mike: watin? Why you dey happy?
Chigozie: soup na! You know I like soups.. .fresh ones
Mike: na you go cook am oo!
Chigozie: huh? Cook what 🤨
Mike: guy na you go cook the soup and swallow for us today.. wait ain't you igbo ni? Igbo people are very good in cooking local soups I don't know where you drop from?
Chigozie: 🙄🙄🙄who told you I can't cook soup? Don't worry today I will surprise you.
Mike: hahaha ok o. I can't wait..
Few minutes later they were done eating and ready to go for lectures...
Mike: arranging his hair..while looking at the mirror.. omor normal normal I be fine boy.. he said..
Chigozie: I go lock you Inside oo...is like you don't want to go again?
Mike: I dey come na.. allow me arrange this hair?
Chigozie: who are you arranging it for? For girls? Definitely no..
Mike: watin concern you? I'm arranging to seducé boys....
Chigozie: whahala 😂..you never seducé me na boys outside you go seducé?
Mike: I don't find you attractive Oga.... So you're not even close to those I'll like to seducé.😒
Chigozie: omor no be small thing.. you better don't even try it.... I go bréak your héad that day!
Mike: Hmmm.... I won't oga. So don't bother. He said looking serious
Chigozie: hmmm I'm just joking oo please. Before you call me hómóphobic again....
Mike: abeg go awày....he said as he took his school and left the room..
Chigozie: whahala....
Then he locked the door and joined Mike..
On thier way going...
Chigozie: bouncing and walking in a very funny way!
Mike: watin be this? What are you doing? 🤨
Chigozie: I dey bounce na.. is this not how our fathers use to walk and bounce that year?
Mike: 😂😂 so why are you doing it now? Who are you bouncing for?
Chigozie: for you na? Abi you no dey feel me? 😂😂
Mike: you dey madd.. abeg shift from my front.... we're late already
If you continue walking like this when we go reach school?
Chigozie: 🙄🙄see person I dey bounce for dey iñsult me. Ok na...no problem....he said as he returned back to walking normal.
Few minutes after that they got to the lecture theatre and met the lecturer Inside the class already.
Chigozie: you see watin you cause abi?
Mike: what? How did I cause it?
Chigozie: I told you to do fast but you were busy doing make up like girl..
Mike: hmm let enter abeg...she won't Chase is out.
Chigozie: she's your mom abi Aunt abi? That you're saying she won't Chase us out 😒
Mike: go na... Let enter.. stay front..lead the way Inside..
Chigozie: hmmm ok
Then he started going and eventually entered the class..
Lecturer: Mr Man come here!
Chigozie: 😬😬....we Don enter troublè oo he said to Mike.. as he walks towards the lecturer
Lecturer: this is your room abi? That you think you can just walk in anyhow..
Chigozie: turned back and didn't see Mike..
Lecturer: answer me! Why are you turning your back?
Chigozie: sorry ma..
Lecturer: sorry for yourself.. sit down here on the stairs.. that is your punishmént
Chigozie: 😬😬 okay ma..
Some of the students in the class started laughing..
Then the lecturer continued with what she was teaching..
Mike: outside the class peeping through the window, laughing and looking at chigozie 😂😂.. now we're balance. I don révenge watin you do me for 100 level..he said in his mind while laughing...
About an hour later the class was over..
Chigozie: left the class very fast looking for Mike..
Ah swearr if I catch that boy Eeh.. he said while searching for him..
Not long after that he saw Mike sitting under a tree with a lady selling zobo and buns..
Mike! He shoutéd his name... angrilyy
Mike: sipping zobo! Looking around to see who was calling him..
Then he saw it was chigozie..
He busted into laughter immediately 😂😂😂
Chigozie: walking very fast towards Mike..
Mike: oga calm down and walk slowly.... See me here.. he said while laughing
Chigozie: got to the place Mike was sitting....
I dey play with you abi?
Mike: 😂😂😂😂 watin I do?
Chigozie: so you didn't follow me to enter the class..
Mike: 😂😂 I follow you na. You didn't see me?
Chigozie: you're laughing?
Mike: make I no laugh? I should cry or what?
The lady selling the zobo and buns was just looking at them and smiling..
Chigozie: betràyal!
Mike: have you forgotten? You did it first.
Chigozie: when?
Mike: 100 level. Our first day in lecture...that we attended the wrong lecture.
Chigozie: oh oh oh
Yes. 😂😂😂 I remember.. so you don révenge be that?
Mike: yes na... first to do no dey pàíñ.
Zobo seller: uncle make I give buns and zobo na...as una dey laugh they talk.... She said while smiling
Chigozie: na free? 🙄
Zobo seller: haahahha no he free oo.. just 200 naira
Mike: yes na free na... Because she bought the flour and zobo for free at the market 🙄🙄
Chigozie: I go slaap your mouth. Are you the one selling?
Mike: 😂😂..
Chigozie: give me two buns and 1 zobo please. He said as he sat beside Mike..
Mike: two buns? Why two buns? Na only one me I buy.
Chigozie: me and you na the same? You no dey see flesh everywhere for my body?
Zobo seller: hahaha.. na true my brother oo.. you self buy more buns so you go get flesh for body like your brother..
Mike: brother? Not my brother oo... Can't you see his úgly face😂
Chigozie: me úgly? Ma, please am I úgly?
Zobo seller: not at all my dear.. black handsome. Girls go like you Wella..
Mike: 🤨🙄.. story!
Then they all laughed..
After eating they paid and left for market to buy the soup stuff as they have planned before...
At the market..
Chigozie: which soup are we cooking?
Mike: I don't know oo... You cook anything you want oga... today I'm just going to watch you cook and eat....
Chigozie: hmmm..
Which kind set up be this? He said in his mind as they got to an Igbo woman shop.
Ma please I need egusi, stock fish, dry fish, ugu, and bitter leaf..
Seller: ok my son.
Chigozie: what again will I buy Mike?
Mike: I don't know. Shea you said be you chef.. buy what you know.
Chigozie: stop na.. no disgracè me for this woman front..
Mike: uncle buy let go..
Chigozie: hmm.. ok mama give me pepper, tomatoes,
Mike: busted into laughter 😂.. tomatoes ke? He said in his mind..
Chigozie: what is funny.. you said you're not helping me so keep quièt guy.
Mike: sorry sir.
Chigozie: give me🤔🤔... Hmmm? Water leaf, scent leaf, what again oo.. what again oo🤔🤔
Hmm.. give me uziza leaf too..
Mike: 🤭🤭🤭
Chigozie: looking a Mike 🤨🤨 what?
Mike: continue buying na...did I say anything
Seller: this your soup will be so rich oo.. what else my dear? Do you need ogbono too?
Chigozie: oh yeah... I forget oo put ogbono too..
Seller: ok my son..
Mike: ok oo..
Chigozie: 🤔🤔 give me periwinkle too..
Seller: ok for how much.
Chigozie:500 naira is ok..
Seller: for all this soup? It will be too small my son
Chigozie: oh really? Add another 500 naira oo
Mike: ahhh... Ok na..
Chigozie: today I go shock you cook better soup for you.... Not all those Yoruba method you have been using for us...
Mike: abi? Oya na... I dey see...
Chigozie: paid and they left the woman's shop..
I haven't but meat oo..
They bought some fresh meat and left immediately..
Scene 3( Mike and chigozie in the room)
It was about 30 minutes since they got back from the market..
Mike: nawa oo since you never finish cook? Oga chef..
Chigozie: calm down na.. why your bloood dey rush?
Mike: I dey hungry abeg.. I can't wait to taste the igbo method that you said is good..
Chigozie: don't worry very soon... Chill man. He said while cooking what he doesn't even know..
About 40 minutes later...
He was done..
Chigozie: turning the soup and noticing what he has never seen before..
Watin be this now? I don finally coom rúbbísh. He said and tested it.
Hmm the taste is manageable na.. he said and covered the pot of soup.
Then Turned semovita...
The semovita was very strong filled with lots of lumbs..
After bye was done... Sweating and breathing very fast like some that something Good 🙄
Chigozie: Mike! I'm done. The food is ready
Mike: almost sleeping on the bed.
Chigozie: came to the room and met him.. wake up guy. The food is ready.. go and bath first.
Mike; bath? Why?
Chigozie: yes... You need to relax your self so you can enjoy the soup.
Mike: hmmm is it your soup scenting like this?
Chigozie: na you see me finish me na... You thought I can't cook..
Few minutes later Mike was Done showering..then he came out and met the soup and swallow on the floor waiting for him
Mike: watin be this? 😳😳
Chigozie: oga sit down let eat..
Mike: hmmm.. ok oo
Then he sat down
You start first.. eat let me see you..
Chigozie: scoop some swallow and soup then ate it.. 😳😝😝😝 hmmm
Then he drank water immediately
Mike: what's it? It's sweet abi?
Chigozie: 😉😉yes na.. taste it..
Mike: tasted it...
Poured it out immediately. What's This? Na the igbo style be this?
Chigozie: 🥺😔😔..... I told you before that I can't cook but you forced me to cook now see what happened. It's your fault.
Mike: laughing... Omor this guy don créaze. How is it my fault? You say you want to use igbo style na..
Chigozie: 🥺🥺no! Not igbo style..
Mike: guy, then which style?
Chigozie: carried water and drink again..
Mike: how can you mix egusi, ogbono, bitter leaf, scent leaf, ugu, pepper and tomatoes together? Which kind soup be that?
Chigozie: 🙊🙊I don't me too.. I ask you to tell me what to buy but you refused. Now you allow me waste money..it's your fault
Mike: which one is my fault again 😂😂😂.. see this old man..
Chigozie: I no eat again.. he said and wanted to stand up.
Mike: held him back.. you no what again?
Chigozie: leave me na🤨🤨why you dey hold my clothes?
Mike: you can't waste this food oo.. you must eat.
Chigozie: guy stop na... I no eat abeg..
Few moments later..
Mike: good! You're almost done..oya finish everything.. just small remaining...
Chigozie: 😓😓😓 sweating while eating the food by force...
Mike: you should be smiling when eating it.. na you cook rúbbísh.. we can allow food to waste. God no like am... Abi is it good to waste food?
Chigozie: no😓.. he said as he continues to eat it..
Few minutes later he was done...Mike made sure chigozie ate all the rúbbísh he prepared.
Some hours after that chigozie started going to the toilet to and fro..
Mike: eyaaa Pele ( sorry)
Sorry oo... It's the food that caused it ba?
He said in a funny way.. pretending to care
Chigozie: 😏😏😏 devíl. Na devíl you be.. how can you force me to eat what is not good.
Mike: 😂😂🙊😂... Because you're my boyfriend friend 😂😂 I care for you so much.
Chigozie: ran to the bathroom again...
Mike: oga no full our toilet oo... Abeg reduce this shít..😂😂
Chigozie continue to visit the toilet over and over until Mike went out and get him a drug to help reduce that...
Around 8pm.. same day..
Mike was watching film on his phone.. while chigozie was sleeping after the drugs he took to relieve him of the stomach achè..
Suddenly chigozie woke up moáning in pàíñ 😩😩... Guy my stomach is still pàíñing me ah swearr
Mike: climbed the bed immediately.... Omor this is getting serious than I thought oo... Hmmm how is it doing you?
Chigozie: 😩😩😩 this my abdomen place..down down my stomach I'm feeling the pàín there..
Mike: oh sorry.. should we go to the hospital?
Chigozie: no.. no don't worry I'll be fine..
Mike: hmm which one is you be fine when you're not fine. Please let go to the hospital please.
Chigozie: 😩😩😩 breathing very fast while moáning in pàíñ softly.
Just help me press this my abdomen place.. press it gently. Once I do that I feel less pàíñ.. please press it
Mike: sat down comfortably on the bed..
Which side? Here? Or here? He said while you touching his abdomen region close to his diick..
Chigozie: 😩😩yeah... That right hand side.. press it gently..
Mike: pressing it gently and started feeling some of the hair on chigozie's diick region..
Chigozie: ahhh.. yeah... Press it that way.. softly and calmly like that.. ahh.. yeah.. do it that way.. he said as he closed his eyes.. trying to relieve the pàín..
Mike: do it softly as he was been told to do..
Chigozie: go down a little bit.. down small
Mike: here? I should press here?
Chigozie: yes go down a little bit more..
Mike: hmm.. I'll be touching your diick...he said in his mind as he moved down a little..
Like this?
Chigozie: yes! Press that place..
Mike: 😳😳.. omor I'm touching his diick oo..he said in his mind..
Chigozie: 😩😩yes..that way thank you bro.... Do it calmly
Mike: feeling so uncomfortable doing it...
His body was reacting to the whole stuff..
Chigozie: continue na....why did you stop?
Mike: no please I can't do this again.. he said as he stood up from the bed..
Chigozie: opened his eyes.... Why? What happened? He asked anxiously..
Mike: hmmm nothing.. I'm not comfortable touching you that way..
Chigozie: 😳😳oh oh yeah! Sorry I totally forgot you're attracted to man...
Mike: 🙄🙄 yes but I'm not attracted to you.
Chigozie: smiles but you just said you can't continue.... It means I'm making you feel uncomfortable 😐..
Mike: smiles....see who is talking.. abi I'm the one making you feel comfortable.
Chigozie: you? Impossible. How?
Mike: look at your...
Chigozie: my what? 🤨
Mike: see your diick! Standing...
Chigozie: raised his head and saw it... 😳😳😳. Chineke! He shoutéd as he quicky turned awày. So that Mike won't see it..
Mike: funny! Why are you turning away? Something I have seen already 😂
Chigozie: 🤦🤦🤦... Carried the blanket and covered his face with it immediately.... feeling embarrassed!..
Chapter 14?