Okay so I sadly don't have a mother-in-law. She sadly passed away years before I had our daughter. I loved my Fianceé's Mom. She was very sweet and kind to me. She sadly passed away due to bone cancer. We have a photo of her that now my baby likes to carry around the house.
My Mom on the other hand… she is A LOT. So I've always been a little over weight in her eyes. Even waaaaay back in middle school my Mom would tell me to sit straight and suck in my gut. My freshmen year in High school my Mom dressed me in 40 year old clothing. Button up t-shirts with your grandma's floral pattern on it. That off brown and off whitish yellow color. You know the one that looks like it belongs to a house lived in by a chain smoker. Along with bright teal square shorts… While my younger sister was bought in the same trip, cute trendy tank tops, fitting shorts and jeans.
Let's just say I stole/barrowed my older brothers clothing a lot. Bagging t-shirts, white undershirts, and cycled through my four to five pairs of jeans. But she's not the only one to do something crazy about my weight. I had a surprise Birthday party for my 30th and my fiancee was meeting my Dad for the first time. Mom and Dad had been divorced for 10 years and my mom cheated on him with her new husband. So us kids all thought they'd cause drama… but no.. it kicked off after my Mom left. My Dad sat us kids down… We all thought the worst, he was going to die due to his colon cancer coming back. But thankfully no….? "You guys make fun of your sister. But who is helping her? She is getting to fat." Damn! I was floored. No one aid anything . I took a deep breath and tried brushing it off. But the whole next day on my real birthday I cried.. I couldn't eat without hearing him, without thinking about how no one but myself came to my rescue. Looking in the mirror I became sad. I have that video, of me dressed up nice for dinner out With my fiancee crying in a Japanese bbq restaurant. I don't like showing people my emotions.
So why tell you all that..? Because my Mom bullied her way to being at my house for the first week after I gave birth. She was helpful with my daughter. She crossed the line immediately trying to put me on a no-sugar not fiber diet as soon as we got out of the hospital. My mom wanted me to do keto. But I was getting sugar withdrawals, I wasn't producing milk, and got very moody. Thankfully my fiancee and I would go to the doctors visits and eat while we were out.
I'd rather avoid confronting her, so we just waited out her staying with us. The few times I've tried to talk with my Mom about issues. Instead of talking about things or apologizing she likes to try and make up for things by buying me things.
Which makes me feel guilty…? Idk. I've just given up on talking about my feelings or issues. I'm the happy go lucky kid that they don't have to worry about. So good luck to you. Your in-laws or parents might try to make rules or try and parent you parenting. Just know you are the parent and what you says goes. Sometimes listening to them is all they want doesn't mean you have to do what they tell you. Might seem problematic for most but it works for me. Actually writing this out seems like I avoid the conflict. I completely do.
Just know the first few months your baby can't really see, so talk to them sing to them. It will take time for them to roll over, crawl, and start babbling. We had a very quiet baby, she doesn't talk untold she knows how to say things. Just one random day she said "momma" and "dada" then as she gets it was "milk" "up" "more" "bottle" the most shocking one was "juice". You become great at understanding baby talk.
But once they start crawling and walking say good bye to privacy. I used to babysit my brothers kids and was used to them calling out through the bathroom door. "Are you pooping Auntie?!" But now my little monster can open doors, guess who has a new bathroom buddy? moms. So while you are trying to do your business you are also trying to keep them out of things. Have you seen a car playing with toilet paper…? Or a puppy shred one? Welp that's what you get. A baby or toddle unraveling the toilet paper or shredding it into confetti. Or better yet they bring you toys. Throw things in the laubdry hamper or bath. My daughter loved bringing me books. Sometimes they try and throw things into the toilet, dig threw rhe bathroom trash. Go into the closet. So you will have your hands full. Unless you don't mind hearing them cry for a moment and put them in baby jail. Their pack in play or play pen.
I gave up because it stressed me to much hearing her cry, now she just runs in and out as she pleases. See I don't think this was on a book or ever explained to me but I'd rather share and prepare you the readers for this exciting experience. I can't cover all the things you might encounter because each kid is different, each house, each country and each culture.
I have to say my Daughter is only 20 months old. Trust me I don't like the month thing. She is a year and some change old. I am still learning, she is learning it flys by super fast. I'm lucky to be a stay at home mom at the moment.. I wouldn't change that because I got to be here with her for all her biggest milestones. It's sad that others can't. That we pay family, friends or strangers to raise our kids here in the US because bother parents have to work.