I've been sleeping more since I'm pregnant and have a lot of dreams. However, it was rare for me to remember those dreams, but one day, when the moon was almost over, I had a really vivid dream.
'Huh? This smell is. . . .'
There's smell that had been forgotten it for a long time, but I didn't forget at all. It was the smell of the stairwell of an old multi-family house, damp and humid.
"Damn, ahh, really, Damn it!"
Someone was mumbling. For some reason, I felt like I knew who the person was.
"Is she really dead? Oh, I'm going crazy!"
As expected, that person is my brother. Every time he opened his mouth, I could smell alcohol from him. My brother came down the stairs and put his hand under my nose, which was lying on the floor. He went back up the stairs and walked around there.
"Calm down, let's calm down. First. . . . I have to run away from here."
Then, my brother, who was looking around to see if there's no any witnesses the incident, turned his gaze toward my beg that fell on the floor.
'There's no way I can just go with empty hands.'
I looked down at my brother, who was rummaging through my bag, as if i expecting something like this would happen. Even though my brother was trembling, he found my wallet and ran away, holding it in his arms. He didn't even feel any affection towards me as his blood relative. But as expected, my brother was quickly caught. He withdraws cash from various places with my card, so there's no way he won't get caught. My brother was caught on CCTV in a convenience store with a CD machine. He even bought cigarettes with my card at a nearby convenience store early in the morning after gambling all night. . . . .
'Ugh, that idiot.'
My brother ran away from the police who came in, but after he was caught, he was obediently dragged away, as if he had given up on everything. The scene changed, and the familiar place unfolded in front of my eyes. It was the company I worked for.
"What really happened? This is the first time in my life that I have known the person involved in the incident that appeared in the news."
All the workers whispered each other. But, their facial expressions are closer to interest and curiosity than regret or sadness. On the other hand, Ahn Young-eun, who stabbed me in the back and Manager Park, who was annoyed with me, somehow their expressions looked worse.
["i-i feel so bad. The day suna died, i did something really bad to her.]
["What? What happened?]
["There is such a thing. But I didn't know that it would be my last times seeing Suna. "]
["Hey, it's already happened, even if you regret it, she won't come back. Just move on about it."]
Ahn Young-eun sighed while talking to someone via company messenger. At that time, Manager Park hung up the phone with someone and slowly got up from his seat and looked around, then said.
"Look, I'd like two or three people to come with me to Suna's funeral after work today as a representative. . . . Is there anyone who wants to go with me?"
Then Ahn Young-eun raised her hand.
"I'll go."
"Uh, yes, Young-eun. Then, me and Young-eun. . . . Is there anyone else who can go?"
But everyone just looked at each other and didn't raise their hands. Eventually, newbie workers who didn't know me well joined them to my funeral.
'This is funny, to think that, None of the people I thought were close to me came.'
I half expected it, but when I saw it with my own eyes, I was a bit disappointed. They said nothing the entire way to my funeral.
"Why did I get so annoyed that day?"
"Yes? When did the chief?"
The newbie who knew nothing seemed to be trying to please the manager with his opinion.
"The day before Choi Soo-na died. . . . I was really angry over something that didn't matter at all. Even though I could see that child waa panicking, I was so annoyed at that time. . . ."
"Chief. . . . "
Ahn Young-eun, who was sitting next to him, couldn't even say any words that she blamed me on that day. She just chewed her lips.
"I really didn't think it would turn out like this. . . Haa. . . .Still, i said something so rude to the person who worked so hard since joining the company. . . . I feel so sorry."
Manager Park's face looked really messy. At that time, I heard a whimper from the side. Ahn Young-eun was about to burst into tears.
"I also feel sorry for Suna a lot. . . .Ugh. . . ."
Manager Park nodded as if he understood everything and tapped Ahn Young-eun on the shoulder a couple of this, and leaving the newbie who knew nothing in confusion. As expected, there weren't many guests at my funeral. I didn't have many friends, so most of them, who came at my funeral, were relatives. My father was just smoking a cigarette, and my mother was crying and complaining to my aunt.
"I don't know why my fate is so unlucky. I only have two children, one was born sick since child, the other is troublemaker and brings a lot of problems. . . . Oh my gosh, what should I do, sister."
"Ugh. . . .Don't ask me that, Suna is already gone, but what are you going to do with Suhan?"
"I heard that if his family members plead for leniency, the sentence will be reduced, but how much. . . . ."
No one mentioned the fact that my brother killed me. I was just anxious about my brother waiting for trial.
'I didn't expect anything great, but. . . . . It's bittersweet.'
As I sighed, the scenery in front of me blurred, and another familiar place appeared. It was my room. Maybe the funeral was already over, and my mother and dad were organizing my luggage.
"Oh my poor child, it's Suna. . . . Suna. . . ."
"My poor child. . . . !"
I suddenly wondered why they were acting like that. My mother was crying when she looked at my expense book, and my dad's eyes were red as he opened my closet. In my expense book, it is written when and how much money my brother stole from me and how the money was spent. Sometimes, there's a day when I couldn't resist my desire and order something expensive, so I'll put an asterisk on it to emphasize it out of guilt. . . . .
"Ugh(sob). . . . you only buy pizza outside once a month that's only worth 10,000 won pizza, oh my poor daughter. . . . !"
My mother wiped her face with a handkerchief and cried. There are some of my clothes hanging in the closet that my father was open to.
"My poor daughter. . . . You did even buy any clothes. . . ."
My father cried while looking at the coat that he bought it for me when I graduated from middle school.
'Thinking about it, i been wearing that for over 10 years. . . . .'
That khaki coat that I purposely bought in a large size because I thought it would fit quite well. It's a piece of clothing that I sparingly wear and take great care of. That plain coat that hanging there It was the first and last expensive coat my father bought for me at that time. it's a coat that has a simple design but is still wearable for me. However, the sleeves and hips of the coat are already quite worn.
"Oh, Suna, I'm sorry! I'm sorry that I couldn't be a good mother for you, suna!"
My mother hit the floor and cried bitterly, and my father also covered his eyes with his hands and turned his head. It seemed like my parents were finally feeling my absences. The sight rather made me feel at ease.
'I'm so grateful that they still think of me. I . . . .I thought i wasn't meaningless for them.'
I felt sorry for my parents, but I felt all the resentment i felt from my past life finally relieved. As I was smiling with satisfaction, the scene before my eyes changed again.
'Uh?'
That person was my ex-boyfriend who broke up with me right before she died. He was sitting blankly in his room with a stiff expression. His cell phone kept showing notification messages.
["Hey! I heard that, miss. C, who lives in 00-dong, died. Doesn't your girlfriend live in 00-dong too? It's definitely not your girlfriend, right?"]
["The news said she was killed by his own brother. But didn't your girlfriend have a brother too? It's a bit creepy!"]
["Hey, by the way, what are you doing today? I heard that you did go at your work today."]
His friends joked about the story of Miss C, who was murdered by her brother, which spread on the Internet. They seemed like I had no idea that Miss C was me. But my ex-boyfriend seems to realize that miss C that they talked about was me.
"Suna. . . .please answer the phone, please. . . ." He picked up his phone and called me again.
At first glance, the screen read "Choi Soo-na (42)". It seems that he already called me about 42 times.
[The phone you're calling it's turned off, so you will be connected to voicemail with the sound. . . . ]
He hung up the phone after listening to the operator voice he heard several times, then reopened the last message I sent to him again.
[Baby~ I'm just confirmed that i have to work overtime this weekend, which is today. I'm sorry ㅠLㅠ See you next week. I'll buy you something delicious ❤️. (6:08 PM)]
[Pretty suna❤️: Hmmm, okay. I'm fine, so don't overdo it. (6:09 p.m)]
[Yup. Thank you for understanding (6:09 p.m.)]
[Pretty suna❤️: You said you are working overtime today, but it looks like the woman you're holding hands with must be your boss at work? It seemed that the two of you were working really hard. Just bury your bone on your work. Please don't contact me again in the future. (7:42 pm)]
A tears fell on top of it. "Suna, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. . . . . I was really wrong. . . . .Suna. . . . . Ugh, what should I do, what should I do, Suna. . . . ." He held his phone tightly and shook his body and cried.
I've never seen him crying like that before. Well, if I had gone on a date with that him that day as planned, I would have been able to avoid my fate dying on my older brother hands, even if only for a little while. Because of that, he seemed to think my death was his fault. But it would have happened at any time unless my brother came to his senses. I stood there for a while, and listening to him constantly apologized.
'Thank you for being sorry. I'm doing well, so forget about me and live well.'
For some reason, my tears welled up in my eyes. but I know these people will eventually overcome the sadness of this moment and move on. It's just like i did.
Then I woke up from my dream and slowly opened my wet eyes, Killian was sleeping beside me. He massages my limbs and feet until I fall asleep, but i sure it's not an easy thing for him to do after a tiring day at work. But Killian gave me a massage without missing a day.
'That right, This is my man.'
If it weren't for my past life experiences and memories, I might have missed this person, too. An enchanting love that I've never dreamed of in my previous life. Now that I have get this kind of love, I don't have any regrets about my previous life. I lightly kissed Killian's sleeping cheek.
"Umm. . . . ? Edith. . . . ?"
Killian, who called me in a deep voice, was lovely.
"I love you, Killian."
"I love you more. Edith."
Killian didn't even wake up, but he told me he loved me and hugged me warmly.
'I'm really going to live this life without any regrets. Even my past life as choi soo-na also hasn't regrets."
I felt overwhelmed and made up my mind.