Darkness. That was all there was inside. I felt like a floating spirit, unable to see or feel the parts of my body. I tried to open my mouth but it was sealed shut by an unknown force. The flower of fear began to bloom inside me, trying to envelop my body and soul.
As though sensing my impending death, a hand grabbed my own and the environment suddenly turned white. I turned to my right to see Mitsuha with an earnest expression, different from her angel-like appearance, gripping my hand tightly. "This place is dangerous so don't let go, okay?" she advised. I nodded in agreement.
Step. Step. Step. We continued forward with only the sound of our echoing footsteps filling up the empty space. The world inside was white but somehow Mitsuha knew where to go.
"Okay, we are here." She then snapped her fingers, which caused a brown oak wood door to form from thin air. Scratches signifying its age littered all over its surface. I could never forget this door: the front door of my house, though it seemed more damaged than usual. Mitsuha tried to open the door but it was locked shut.
"Seems like we can't get through," I commented.
"Yeah, it needs a key."
She looked at me and suddenly shot up in excitement like a little girl. Although she was acting different now than when she was at school, it seemed her nature was still that of a high school girl. The mysterious girl stared at me like I was some sort of object. As though she was a telepath, I understood what she wanted me to do. I took my house key out and inserted it into the keyhole.
Click! I twisted the door knob and opened it carefully. A slit of white light emerged from the minuscule opening. Many questions ran through my mind, but before I could even think of answering them, a force from behind pushed me forward into the abyss.
The sight before me blanked my mind. I somehow was back in the Yakushima Flood Plain with its luscious green grass and crystal clear river. Three young children were playing a game of tag along its bank. I immediately recognised the kids: Yuki, Ren and I,, and I warmly smiled at the memory.
"You remember this, don't you?" Mitsuha asked.
"Of course. We three used to play every day in this bank when we were kids."
"Anything running through your mind?"
"It makes me wish I could just be a kid again. No responsibilities or troubles at all. We could just keep on playing without caring about the world. Now we have to constantly worry about our futures and whether what we have now is really enough."
"What do you mean?"
"Are our grades enough to go to the university we are aiming for? Was it a mistake to choose this field? Is staying where I am now the right decision? I could go on and on."
"Right. Okay, let's move on to the next one."
We continued to walk forward through the empty abyss until another image appeared. This time it was in the lake near my house. It had frozen in the winter so my family decided to skate there for fun. While this memory should make me happy or nostalgic, it did the opposite instead.
This was because this was the last time I spent with my father…
Seeing the three of us happily enjoying our time made me jealous. I had tried to forget all of these memories so that I could hide these emotions erupting inside me. Every time I remember him, I stop having control of my mind. The wall I erected in me was starting to break through. As I stood still, shivering from my conflicting feelings, a warm hand rested on my head.
"Let it all out."
I couldn't do it anymore. Tears burst out of my eyes like a raging tsunami as my bottled-up emotions emerged in full force. My painful screaming echoed throughout the space as I continued to watch my father's smile through my distorted vision. Mitsuha brought my frail body closer to hers and enveloped me in her warmth. If it weren't for that, I would never have recuperated.
"My father was an amazing man. He would always smile, no matter what happened to him and would help anyone who was ever in need. It's no exaggeration to call him the fibre of life that held the family together. When he died, the fibre disappeared and everything fell apart."
Mitsuha remained silent, listening to each and every word.
"It took some time for me to return to reality, and even longer for my mother. But it still isn't the same. Honestly, I don't even know if we can go back to how we were before."
"Do you have to go back though?" Mitsuha all of a sudden spoke.
"Huh?"
"Keep that question in mind. You have to answer it yourself."
"Before that, why did you show me this?" I asked in a stony tone, still not recovered from the emotional whiplash. I was sure she foresaw these events but I could not deduce what good it would do.
"I know that you could never accept your father's death. There was no reason for him to die for all the good he had done. I'm showing you this so that you could remember all of the good times you had instead of locking it away."
"So you must know already, huh."
"I know everything there is about you, Makoto. Including your true wish."
An expected, but terrifying answer. However, I felt at ease. Out of everyone, maybe it was okay that it was Mitsuha that I could open up. I was afraid that my thoughts would push everyone away if I revealed them but if it was an outsider…
"Wrong. Your friends and your family are your greatest gift. If it is anyone you should trust, it's them, not me."
The memories of my life played in my mind like a recording. The times that people I cared about most helped me whenever I was in need every single time. There was no reason to push them because they were the ones that would always be there for me. What a fool I had been.
"Are you ready, Makoto?"
"For what?"
"For your true wish to be granted?"
Mitsuha let out her hand. Without any hesitation, I grabbed it tightly. It was now or never.
Suddenly, all the images disappeared and the world was pitch black. The only sensation I could feel was Mitsuha's warm hand as she tugged me forward in the blindness. Fear was growing inside me, not knowing what to expect. But with Mitsuha by my side, I was ready to face it.
The dark world transmogrified into breathtaking scenery. The sky above was light blue painted with patches of white fluffy clouds. The ground was completely covered by crystal clear water that reflected the sky. The environment was nothing short of ethereal.
Mitsuha motioned for me to continue walking forward. At first, I was hesitant but I decided to oblige her order. My feet slowly carried my lethargic body to what was in front of me. I kept on moving until Mitsuha was out of my sight. I tried calling out her name but I got no reply. Just as I turned back, a familiar figure far out in the distance entered my vision. Without thinking, I dashed towards the person with all the energy I had left. My eyes couldn't believe what I was seeing but I knew I had to reach him.
My feet finally gave up on me and I fell face-first to the ground. I tried to reach for him but my vision was slowly turning black. I could faintly hear the man's gentle voice but I lost consciousness before I could comprehend it.