Devu finished speaking, and the car abruptly came to a halt.
"What did you just say?"
I couldn't believe what I heard, so I asked again.
"I'll go to my house, Nandu..."
"Hey girl, don't just..."
"No, Nandu, I'm serious. I have to go."
Her response was resolute.
"Then what happened? What's preventing you from going?"
"I can't stay at Nandu's house anymore. I just can't..."
"Devu, tell me what's wrong. Why can't you stay at my house? Did someone say something to you?"
"No, everyone there cares about me. Like a daughter... like a sister..."
I sensed her struggle.
"And what's the issue then?"
"No issues, I can't pretend anymore, Nandu... Please understand. I can't be there..."
"Hey, I don't understand what you're saying. Let's go to my house and talk calmly. Whatever the problem is, we can work it out."
"Nandu, please... no..."
I tried to move the car forward, but she stopped me. I halted the car again.
"Don't mock me, just tell me what's happening."
I was losing my composure.
"Hey, I've been asking you, why haven't you come to my house for so long..."
My voice reverberated in the car. She was taken aback by my forceful question. Tears started welling up in her eyes. I was shocked to see it.
"Hey, you know I can't go back to my house without you. What are you trying to achieve? That place isn't safe for you until your father returns."
She had no response.
"Whatever Nandu says, I will go," Devu assured. I looked at her with concern, not understanding what was wrong.
"Devu..."
She looked up at me.
"Listen to me. Whatever's happening at my house, we can talk it out."
"I have no problem there, Nandu..."
"So, did I do something wrong?"
"I was the one who did wrong... it's me..."
Her sobs grew deeper. I stood there, feeling lost.
"I can't continue like this with you, Nandu... You are my problem, Nandu..."
"Me?"
I was momentarily shocked. What had I done to her to warrant such a statement?
"It's my fault... it's all mine... It was wrong for me to see you that day, to enter your room, to not object when everyone talked about marriage, to hope to be your wife, to come to your house... It was wrong to know about you... It was wrong to talk to you... It was wrong to love you knowing I had no place in your life... All the mistakes are mine... all mine..."
Devu yelled from inside the car. Her words reverberated in the confined space.
"Devu, you..."
I asked, struggling to believe what she was saying.
"I fell in love, Nandu. I loved you... deeply... not just today, but since the day I first saw you in college. I made sure no one knew. I can't pretend in front of you anymore."
Devu's words were about to shatter my heart.
"Don't look at me like that, Nandu... I can't..."
Devu covered her face, unable to meet my gaze. Her sobs intensified with every word she spoke.
"Even though I knew I wouldn't attain it, even though I was well aware it was beyond my reach, even though fate placed the life I desired in my hands, I clung on for so long. But sometimes, I forget and tremble. I feel as if you belong to me. After all, I am a girl... I too have desires..."
I sat there, stunned by her words, something I never expected to hear from Devu. I had no response to what she said. A mixture of sadness, anger, and happiness swept through my mind. It seemed like Devu was waiting for a reply from me, but I was at a loss for words.
"I understand that Nandu will never accept me. But I yearn. When I see that face, I long to be with you forever. I can't, Nandu, keep pretending inside. Take me to my house, Nandu... I won't enter your life. You won't be troubled. Whether Father comes or not, I'm no longer in that house."
Seeing my silence, Devu continued.
"It's my fault for desiring... mine..."
Devu's words were interrupted by her sobs. Many of her words were muffled.
We sat in the car for a long while without exchanging words. I didn't know what to say or do for Devu. She had bowed her head forward, covering her face with her hand, still crying. A few moments passed with only the sound of Devu's weeping. We both remained in that state for a long time, without even making eye contact.
"Let's go."
It took me a long time to summon the courage to ask her. When she heard my question, she lifted her head and awaited my decision.
"To my house. You're not leaving until your father arrives."
I stated my choice and moved the car ahead. Devu looked at me, not saying anything further.
That Devika is in love with me. It's been quite some time... I can hardly believe it. Something I never anticipated from her. Something that was never expected. I'm not even sure if what she said is true or not. However, in these two days, I've felt that Devu's proximity has brought about a lot of changes in me. It's like I forget everything around me when I'm with her. As if everything revolves around her. Yet, I must have questioned whether it could be called love at least a hundred times in this short span. There are still numerous questions lingering in my mind. Is everything Devu said true? But I didn't sense even a hint of deceit in her words. The sentiments she expressed are now imprinted in my heart.
To be continued...