I felt no peace upon hearing that Devu was unwell during the day. I can't even recall my actions. What prompted me to take her and head to the hospital? She's not someone I'm particularly close to... at that moment, anyone might have done the same... my conscience whispered to me.
"Hey little one, have you not slept at all?"
My sister-in-law entered as I tossed and turned in bed, unable to find sleep. Upon arriving, she directed her attention to the spot where Devu's books were stored and began searching for something.
"What?"
"What?"
"What is my sister-in-law searching for..."
"Oh, those two books of that girl. She's with me today. What if she doesn't feel well tonight? You're too busy to tend to her..."
"Mmm... fair point."
Upon hearing my response, my sister-in-law regarded me with a stern expression.
"What are you doing? You should sit with that girl when she's sick. She's lying here, in discomfort. Don't force me to say more..."
"Isn't that what both you and mother are for..."
"Are you comparing yourself to us with her?"
I didn't grasp my sister-in-law's words.
"So what, do I have horns?"
"Horn... You go, little one... But these men are oblivious to their wives' problems... Older brother and younger brother are just the same..."
As she continued her search for the book, my sister-in-law spoke without addressing anyone in particular.
"Buddy, blame me if you must... but spare my naive brother..."
I spoke those words to merely provoke my sister-in-law, but it genuinely angered her. She gripped a hefty book in her hand and confronted me alone. Due to her absence of mind and my fortune, I managed to evade the book's impact on my person. Nevertheless, she remained incensed and advanced towards me with another book in hand.
"You don't address your wife with respect, and then you mock me when I suggest that it might be better if I offer some advice?"
She attempted to strike me with the book in her hand, but I managed to snatch it away from my sister-in-law.
"Sister-in-law, I'm sorry... I just said..."
Though my apology lacked much sincerity, it seemed to cool my sister-in-law's temper.
"Hey, Nandu, why are you behaving like this? She trusted you and came down for nothing... and you're still acting like a child..."
Seated beside me on the bed, my sister-in-law resumed her counsel. Despite my efforts to explain the truth to them numerous times, I found my sister-in-law's words vexing, but they paid no heed. I sat there, absentmindedly flipping through the pages of the book in my hand, paying little attention to their conversation as I voiced my protest.
Despite this, my sister-in-law continued to speak.
As my focus shifted from my sister-in-law to the pages of the book, I realized that she was holding Devu's diary. I hesitated to open it, fearing Devu's reprimand, but the compulsion to look was too strong. Now, she wasn't here to take it from me.
I turned the first page, and my heart skipped a beat.
A tulsi necklace adorning her neck... the wedding chain hidden on her chest... vermilion on her forehead... Devu stood beside me, her smile capturing everything beyond compare... our wedding photograph... the very one she had kept hidden from everyone was now in my hand. I trembled.
"Sister-in-law, look at this..."
I asked, holding up the photo.
"This is your wedding photograph... so what?"
"When was this taken?"
"This is quite amusing... It's a picture of you taken as you left the registry office after the wedding. Do you have any idea how much I had to insist for you to pause?"
I couldn't even recall such an incident occurring in that state at that time. My mind was somewhat numb then. I was little more than a marionette, moving in accordance with the opinions and desires of others.
"It's been a while since I gave it to Devu to show you... haven't you seen it yet?"
She must have intentionally kept it from me. She knows well that had she shown me, I would have torn it up and discarded it.
"What's so special about looking at the photo? Anyway, sit here and look at it. I'll go."
My sister-in-law exited the room, clutching all the books she had gathered.
The specter of old memories still haunts me. Everything remains as vivid in my mind as if it happened just yesterday. Even the frightened expression on Devu's face as she rushed into the hotel room that day is etched in my memory.
Yes, that hotel, it changed my life. Why did she come rushing into that room? Don't I already know everything? It's time to find out.
I gazed at that photo for what felt like an eternity. I sensed that Devu had concealed a joy capable of conquering worlds within her smile. Even if it wasn't entirely genuine, I was smiling for some reason, almost as if compelled by an unseen force. Was it truly a wedding? Could we ever label that event, which occurred without our minds aligning, and without both our consent, as a marriage?
★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 🗑️ 🗑️ 🗑️ 🗑️ 🗑️ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Upon waking, the first thing that met my gaze was Devu's visage. It seemed she had entered the room in search of something. I surmised it must be the photo I had seen the previous day. Her expression held a fear that I might destroy it.
After rummaging through my desk and books, Devu glanced at me in despair, catching my gaze. We exchanged looks, bearing the scorn of one who's caught a lie in the act.
To my unspoken question of 'what,' she responded with a similar gesture of 'nothing,' then hurried out of the room.
I chuckled at the sight.
"Poor girl..."
I murmured, holding the photo I had kept beneath my pillow, gazing at the Devu captured within it.
To be continued...