POV: Currently Unnamed Protagonist, Unknown Location, Unknown Date
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The blinding light hit my newly developed eyes so much that I had to close them. It was a slow process, but overall, leaving my new mother was not the worst day I've had. That would be my death day, or is it reincarnation day now? Focusing back on the current situation, I was being lifted by cold clamps, or were they claws? I assumed I would be delivered by a doctor; maybe I'm my world's future if a machine had delivered me. Anyway, the machine made some funny bleeping noises that I barely heard, then swiftly cut my umbilical cord. It was such a fast cut that I didn't even feel pain. It then moved me into the warm arms of who I believe is my new mom. She felt sweaty, but what woman wouldn't sweat just after giving birth? I didn't really mind the sweat—not that much, maybe a little.
My ears picked up a familiar sound; it was a female's voice: "Hello, baby, it's me, your mommy." I struggled to open my eyes. But eventually it did, and the first thing I saw aside from the flickering white light above me was a young woman. This was my new mother overall; she didn't look that bad, not that I wouldn't mind. She had a light skin tone with brown eyes and hair. Pretty average face, but none of this interested me as much as the strange feeling I got again. I literally felt the love she felt for me somehow, like how I knew how long I was in her womb for.
I wanted to try something, and whatever this thing I had was, whether it was magic or a superpower, I wanted to communicate with my mom. Given that I couldn't vocalise myself, maybe I could use this power to talk to her, so I tried to project my thoughts into words and pass them to her. 'Hello, mother.' I tried to imagine constantly repeating that phrase; it was simple, short, and straight to the point. It must have worked because her eyes widened. I didn't have very long to celebrate my new ability. We were interrupted by two hideous-looking creatures. What in the hell are these two pig-looking motherfuckers? They stood at an equal height of 1.8 meters. They have sickly green skin and boar-like features such as a snout, fangs, and tusks. Hold on, these guys look strangely familiar... Are they cosplayers? No, that can't be it. They looked too real, like actual living creatures, but they had the identical appearance of Gamorrean Guards from easily my favourite fictional universe, Star Wars.
But how is that possible? First, the whole reincarnation fiasco now right in front of me is Jabba's palace guards, if it wasn't bad enough. The guards gave way to a giant slug. Have I gone insane? IF I HAVEN'T GONE MAD FROM THE GREEN EGGS AND HAMS, THEN THIS SLUG HAS TAKEN THE LAST STRAW! calm down, deep breaths Okay, there are only two logical explanations. First, I'm in a state of near-death delirium; that does happen, and that would explain everything; or second, I really am actually in Star Wars, in which case I'm totally screwed.
Star Wars wasn't one of the worst universes to be reborn; in truth, it was mid-tier in terms of danger. The really dangerous universes I'm really thankful I'm not in are Warhammer 40K and The Walking Dead. Those two are brutal unless you're reborn, like, say, the Emperor of Mankind or Daryl. Because at least here there's a chance to avoid death or torture anyway, this Hutt female (how did I know it was female because *she* had breasts, or at least I think they could be man breasts) had given me the stink eye, then spat, yes, spat, on the floor beside her.
It wasn't long before she left with her two guards. Good riddance, I'll say. Then my darling mother held me in a big hug and spoke to me, "Now that Gardulla's gone, why don't you give you a name?" I looked at her again, confused. 'Was she really asking me to name myself?' honestly, I couldn't think of a good name. So I just tilted my head a bit. I think she got the sign because she burst into laughter. "Okay, sorry, I was just teasing you. I already came up with a great name for you. Anakin Skywalker."
My only thought after that name was, 'You have got to be fucking joking'.