******
It was 6:30pm already and I still wasn't sure if I wanted to honor this silly invitation. Invitation? It was an order.
I could fuck around and find out the worst that could happen if I sat my pretty ass back, totally disregarding the order.
I honestly was in no mood to be dragged around. So if a few heart-wrenching moments is all it takes to have my peace back? Then it's a decent game.
I sighed for the 1000th time today, got up, and walked into the shower. The water here was a lot more different from the one that ran in town.
This one was perfect for my skin. Unlike the one at my house, this one didn't strip my skin of the oil.
I looked up as the warm rain-like droplets cascaded on my face. Shower time was reflection time. I really had nothing to lose, nothing to go back to, no one to miss, and no one who would miss me.
I had no fight in me because really what exactly am I going back to, best believe by the end of June my rent back in town would be due.
I was already in huge debt from paying for the previous year. That's besides the other debts I had incurred by simply just existing.
Where would a fight to have things different stem from? This is really the best I have had in a while ironically.
I got out of the shower and stood at the door taking in everything in my room once more before stepping into the closet and looking around.
The first thing that caught my eyes was a black short flay dress. It looked comfortable and immediately ended my scan for something to put on.
I took the blue and white colored Air Force to pair with the gown and left the closet to throw my outfit on.
I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself for the first time in years and tilting my head in approval.
I put on the jewelry and admired myself some more. It was so beautiful. The pendant looked like it was crafted specifically for me and the stones glimmered under the minimal ambiance of my room.
I allowed my hair to drop over my shoulders as I ran a brush through it. Mid-brushing I decided I was going to tie my hair in a ponytail and so I did. I swatched some lip gloss on and looked in the mirror one last time taking in the entire look.
Amidst life's turmoil, the least of my concerns was how I looked but I really took my time today. I stepped out of the room and made my way to the terrace of the house. I could see the garden from where I stood but there was no one waiting out.
It was already 7:50. I was expecting grumpy pants to be waiting outside.
"Hello beautiful" I heard behind me.
"Who are you?"
"Ouch, I didn't make so much of an impact the other day?" I suddenly recollected where I had seen him.
"Um, I remember seeing you but I don't know your name" well yeah you didn't make an impact, I thought to myself but making an effort to keep my face straight.
"Xavier" why he was all smiles and giddy beat me.
"Okay? What do you want?" I asked, now that we were done with the uncalled for introduction.
"You didn't get my message?" he asked.
"Your message?" I asked, squinting my face in confusion.
"You were the one that...…."
He laughed, "oh you thought it was ol' Luky boy?" He laughed some more.
I just stood there staring at him. Wondering why he thought I was supposed to think it was someone other than the person that brought me here in the first place.
"Lucas Ivanov has no time for such shenanigans" he continued in between laughs.
"Why am I here?"
"I just want to have a chat".
"What chat? Look It's already enough of a hassle that I have to deal with Luca. I honestly want nothing to do with you".
"Hey hey hey, pipe it down, little miss".
"I'm nothing like Lucas".
"Oh please you are everything like Luca" I thundered. I was beginning to get irritated by this constant display of power all around me.
Every single person was bossing me around every chance they got. I am not a pet.
"You got into my room and dropped a note that had an order in it as opposed to a request. Since you claim to be nothing like Luca" I rolled my eyes.
"You basically brought me out here against my own will So please spare me that crap" I concluded.
He just stood there staring at me.
"Dang! Who hurt you?"
"How about this? If you don't want to be here, You can go back to your room, I'm not going to stop you and I apologize for bringing you out here like this".
Well, that wasn't what I was expecting. I'm sure it was written all over my face how unexpected I thought his answer was.
"What do you even want to chat about? You don't even know me".
"I honestly just find you interesting and thought to invite you out to dinner" Someone finds me interesting? That's a first.
"Interesting? We didn't even have a conversation" I answered him. Yes I was totally calling his bluff no way you find someone you know nothing about "interesting".
"Oh we didn't need to" he said as he walked forward motioning for me to join him on a walk.
"You know, restriction or oppression has a way of placing a limitation on personalities".
"People get scared to speak their truth knowing fully well that the next day wasn't promised".
"But they want to take their chances, you strike me as one heck of a daring woman" he said, turning to me and stealing a glance before continuing.
"Been a while I encountered anyone with such profound individuality". He concluded.
All the while I was just there wondering what he saw that made me deserving of such eulogies.
"I still maintain, you know nothing about me". I said, not knowing exactly what my reaction was supposed to be.
We stopped walking, just in front of us there was a blanket laid out with food baskets spread on it.
"A picnic?" Guess we have another delusional brother on our hands.
"Yes, first date?" He laughed. He knew for a fact that would spark a reaction from me and he wasn't wrong.
"I'm not on any date with you, escape the abyss of delusion".
"Gosh, loosen up! You are always so defensive everytime".
"Whatever" I replied.
He walked forward first and settled on the blanket, before looking over at a skeptical me and prodding me to join in which I did.
He heaved a deep sigh staring straight at nothing.
"I look around sometimes and see various stages in my life play out".
I said nothing. "Sometime early in life when people spoke of childhood I usually felt displaced".
"Why?" I asked.
"Because I can't remember it".
I looked at him but he was still smiling. "I can't remember being an innocent child".
"I can't remember feeling any other way other than grown-up".
"I grew so fast, the minute grains of what could have been a childhood fizzled out light-speed".
"Uhmm sorry?" I really wasn't sure if I felt sorry for him but something had to be said.
"It's okay, you don't have to say anything. I just want to talk". He answered, still smiling. Did he ever keep a straight face?
"What was it like for you growing up?" He asked me.
"I thought we were talking about you just now" I wasn't interested in talking about me.
"Now we are talking about you" he answered.
"It was nothing too serious", I said. What? Oh yes, my childhood was serious. But then who cares about my sob story.
"Hmmmm" he was obviously dissatisfied with my answer but decided not to push it.
The rest of the evening he kept walking on eggshells and treading carefully. It was like he didn't want to provoke me not even by mistake.
Xavier was a chatterbox. He had no issue talking about himself the whole night but it wasn't in a narcissistic way. He just had enough to say.
Honestly, these were the kind of people I liked to be around. People who had no problems being the center of attention just so shadow lurkers like me could enjoy some peace and quiet.
I just sat and watched him ramble on about anything and everything. I took a second slice of pizza and began munching on it. I felt a presence behind us and I turned to dislodge the eerie feeling.
And there stood what appeared to be an angry Luca standing behind us for God knows how long now.
"Oh hey Luky boy!!" An unphased smiling Xavier called out. Luca shot a venomous glare at him then turned to look at me again.
"Let's go" he said.
"Let's go? Just like that. It's just a harmless picnic". The look he gave me suggested "you had better shut your rathole".
"I warned you" he said to Xavier who had a mischievous smile playing on his lips.
"I told you I could do whatever I want, you're not the boss of me" he said back.
What? So I was just an item again? I looked at Xavier. I didn't know why I felt disappointed in him because what was I really expecting.
I was just a pawn used by him to rile up his brother. I just looked at him with heavy disgust and walked out.