Chapter 19 - Chapter 019

A gust of autumn wind swept through, and a few dried leaves danced like fluttering butterflies, leaping over the wall and into the courtyard of the Yan's house.

"Hi girl, sweet..."

A middle-aged woman's voice echoed from the other side of the wall.

Jun responded, "What's the matter, Aunt Fen?"

"In my courtyard, there's a maple tree, and it's already autumn. The leaves are falling heavily, and when the wind blows, they all end up in your yard."

"No problem, Aunt Fen. I'll sweep them up in a little while."

"That would be great, but don't throw the leaves away..."

"Why not, Aunt Fen? Are you planning to burn them into ashes for fertilizer?"

"Cough, no, it's, um, a bit embarrassing to say..."

"Come on, Aunt Fen, we're like family here. Tell me, I promise not to laugh."

Jun promised not to laugh, but Yan, hiding in the study in the east wing, couldn't help but chuckle. He thought that girl was indeed very friendly; it had only been a few days, and they were already like close neighbours who had known each other for ages.

This is quite similar to Jun's temperament," Yan sighed. His girl used to be universally adored, with even the notoriously difficult Empress Dowager Cixi smiling upon seeing her.

However, after his death, Jun underwent a drastic change in personality. Yan witnessed her scolding palace maids repeatedly, and on one occasion, she even grabbed a teacup and hurled it at someone.

It's not surprising that Jun changed. He died so abruptly and tragically that there wasn't even a chance to bid farewell.

Yan quickly shifted his gaze to the courtyard. Only by diverting his attention could he pull himself out of the endless pain and self-blame.

The girl was laughing heartily.

After her laughter subsided, she said, "Aunt Fen, are you trying to imitate Lin Daiyu? But she mourned for flowers, not tree leaves."

"What's wrong with tree leaves?" the confident voice from the other side of the wall replied, "Even though I've been a green leave enhancing a red flower all my life, I still think I'm not inferior to anyone. Everyone should return what's pure in the end, right?"

"Wow, Aunt Fen, I really admire your wisdom. Can I be as insightful as you?"

"Insightful ? Girl, if you grow old and ugly like me, sooner or later, you'll have such insights too."

These words made Jun feel both embarrassed and awkward. She muttered, "Aunt Fen, what are you saying?" and quickly began sweeping up the tree leaves.

"I said you're beautiful. Even though we haven't met, I bet with your looks, you must be incredibly captivating," Aunt Fen continued.

Jun continued to sweep the floor vigorously, pretending not to have heard Aunt Fen's words.

"So why are you in such a hurry? If he's yours, he won't escape. If he's not yours, with your looks, he won't escape either. He'll come back to you sooner or later, going in circles," Aunt Fen said, clearly referring to Yan.

Jun knew Aunt Fen was talking about Yan and quickly leaned over to peek into the east wing room.

Through the window, Jun's gaze met Yan's directly. She was startled, quickly moved away, and there was no sound for a while. Finally, she mustered the courage to look up.

Yan was still sitting by the window, his gaze fixed, clearly lost in thought.

This time, Yan's dilemma wasn't about Jun's change in temperament. He was torn over Jun's scheme to send the painting of the "Immortal Maidens in the Peach Garden" out of the palace.

The girl in his heart was pure and virtuous, never using her beauty as a weapon. She seemed oblivious to her own attractiveness, as she never participated in competitions of charm, unlike the other ladies who sometimes put on extravagant shows.

It was all due to an impromptu idea from Empress Dowager Cixi, who had a well-known passion for Peking opera. Everyone knew it was a golden opportunity to gain favour with the old lady.

The palace ladies gave their all, transforming themselves into famous beauties like Xi Shi, Yu Ji, Yang Guifei, and Liang Hongyu, regardless of whether it was fitting or not.

When it was Jun's turn to perform, she dressed up as a mischievous little monkey from Mount flower and fruit, scratching her ears and cheeks, jumping up and down, and even hopping off the stage, claiming she wanted to pick lice for Empress Dowager Cixi.

Everyone in the audience was worried for Jun. Firstly, the behaviour of a palace lady jumping around in front of Empress Dowager Cixi was deemed inappropriate. Secondly, offering to pick lice for her was seen as a sarcastic jab at the old lady's cleanliness.

To everyone's surprise, Empress Dowager Cixi burst into laughter. She chuckled heartily while pointing at Jun, expressing her fondness for such rascally and mischievous behaviour.

Yan remembered that he laughed in sync with Empress Dowager Cixi and planted the seed of "Jun is really adorable." Unfortunately, the girl who used to be "as pure as the clear water, naturally without adornment" had turned into a worldly woman who used her beauty to dominate others. Yan was truly puzzled about what had happened in the meantime.

Yan cast his gaze back to the courtyard, where Jun had gathered the tree leaves and wrapped them up in her red scarf. She stood on her tiptoes, trying to pass them over the courtyard wall.

"Oh, is this your scarf?" a voice from the other side of the wall exclaimed. "Why are you using it to wrap tree leaves? What a waste, such a shame."

"It's alright, Aunt Fen, you can keep it. I don't need it," Jun reassured her from behind the wall.

"So, you two are already married? Then why is he still..."

Jun knew that Aunt Fen had swallowed the words, "Then why is he still running around and eyeing others?"

Seeing Jun's silence, the nosy neighbour from behind the wall decided to share her own experiences.

"Don't be too upset, dear. Men, you know, they're all like this. My husband married me in the morning and took a concubine in the evening, and not just one, but two..."

Jun was shocked and couldn't close her mouth. She was grateful that there was a wall separating them. If Aunt Fen had seen her reaction, it would have been so embarrassing.

"As soon as the concubine came into the house, my husband started nitpicking everything about me. He said I was too tall, hunched my back, had buck teeth, and was boring to talk to, making him sleepy..."

"Dear Aunt Fen..." Jun felt a deep sympathy for the woman behind the wall.

"He blamed me for being too tall. Why doesn't he blame himself for being short? What's wrong with having buck teeth? It makes it easier to eat watermelon..."

Jun didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"Dealing with such men, the key is to have an open mind. What's the harm in favouring a concubine? No matter how much he loves her, she's still just a concubine. When she sees me, the rightful wife, she has to show respect. When I'm standing, she can't sit. When I'm wearing pants, she can't wear a skirt..."

"But Aunt Fen, to live a life like that..."

"To live a life like that, is it really dull, right? Girl, you're still young. When you reach my age, you'll understand. Love, or the lack of it, is just like that. All that talk about 'lofty as a mountain,' 'heaven and earth united,' 'thunder in winter, snow in summer'—it's all nonsense."

"I know that what's written in poetry is often nonsense, but in one's lifetime, you still have to experience passionate love at least once."

"Passionate love? My husband loved his concubines passionately, and what happened in the end? My mother-in-law didn't like it, so she found a way to get rid of one of the concubines. My husband was heartbroken but couldn't do anything. He died miserable and alone."

Jun furrowed her brow, feeling like she had heard a similar story before.

"It's true that my mother-in-law doesn't care for me, my husband doesn't love me, and the servants don't like me. But I've lived a long life. I'm three years older than my husband, and I've outlived him by four or five years."

"Living like that, it doesn't seem worthwhile even if you live for another four or five hundred years," Jun whispered softly.

"Who says that?" the nosy neighbour on the other side of the wall had sharp ears. "Living for another four or five years means I get to enjoy so much good food, wear nice clothes, and experience new things. Oh, and I got my revenge..."

"Revenge? Aunt Fen, what revenge did you get?"

Jun seemed to hear a sound like someone being slapped on the other side of the wall.

"Well, in short, let me put it this way, a woman should treat herself well. Don't keep looking at a man all the time and making yourself unhappy. And, especially, don't go out there getting involved in any reform or revolution for no reason..."

Jun was about to ask Aunt Fen how the topic had suddenly shifted from men to revolution.

"Not having a revolution and letting an inept emperor rule the country, leading to poverty and weakness, and being vulnerable to attacks from foreign powers with no means of defence?" Yan, appearing out of nowhere, chimed in.

"Not having a revolution and allowing feudal customs to harm human nature? Men can have multiple wives and concubines, but women are forced into chastity even if their husbands die?"

"Oh, who are you?" The voice from the other side of the wall clearly carried some displeasure.

Jun was about to introduce Yan to Aunt Fen.

"I'd say you're worse than those men with multiple wives and concubines. At least they openly marry, unlike you, who already has one at home but still sneaks around outside," the neighbour behind the wall ignited a heated argument.

"You! What do you know? You're a married woman. I won't argue with you," Yan said.

"Oh, now I'm a married woman? Don't you revolutionaries advocate for gender equality?" Aunt Fen seemed to be quite the unconventional married woman.

"Alright, if you don't agree with me calling you a married woman, then I'll explain it to you..." Yan's neck veins bulged as he shouted.

"She," Yan pointed at Jun, "came out of nowhere, perhaps my father forced her on me..."

The phrase "forced her on me" sounded particularly harsh to Jun.

"I, here," Yan pointed to his heart, "have someone, someone who's been there since I was little, and has always been there. My heart is full of her, and there's no room for anyone else. Are you satisfied now?"

On the other side of the courtyard wall, there was silence. Aunt Fen didn't seem to grasp the details of Yan alternating between pointing at Jun and his heart, and whether she understood his words remained uncertain.

Yan turned to look at Jun, who had a face that alternated between pale and red, with expressions that shifted from embarrassment to indignation.

"I...," Yan realized he had said too much.

"Thank you for taking me in..."

Yan hadn't expected Jun to thank him at all.

"Don't worry, I won't overstay my welcome here. As long as I can leave and it's safe outside, I'll be out of here without wasting a second."

"Where can you go? Here, you only know me..."

Yan immediately regretted his words. He had unintentionally implied that she might linger and not leave.

"Well, I'll be more sensible from now on. I won't bother you anymore. Are you leaving now?"

Jun quickly closed her mouth, realizing that she had once again involved herself in Yan's affairs. She felt a bit awkward and could only lower her head and leave, feeling despondent.

Yan opened his mouth to speak but didn't know what to say. He was planning to leave again.

Two days ago, he arrived late and only caught up with Jun as she was leaving home. He stood at her doorstep and saw her off. This was Jun's home, and the mother and father were Jun's mother and father. Yan couldn't fathom why he was still doubting whether the living Jun was the same as the one in his heart.

Could it be because of this girl, who had only spent a few days with him, that his rock-solid love for Jun was starting to waver?

Yan quickly shook his head. He provided an explanation that he had been so engrossed in the whirlwind of youthful romance during this time that he had almost forgotten his once sworn commitment to a lifelong cause.

Ling burst out from the shadows and perched on top of Yan's head, grabbing his hair and giving it a good tug.

"Ling, what are you doing?" Jun and Yan exclaimed simultaneously.

"Why did you hurt Jun's heart, why? Why? " it turned out that Ling was defending Jun.

Jun quickly rushed to Yan, pulling Ling away, fearing that Yan would get angry and harm Ling out of embarrassment. She promptly tossed Ling into the air.

Understanding the situation, Ling flapped its wings and flew away.

A stone suddenly appeared in front of everyone's eyes, and it was aimed straight at Ling. Both Yan and Jun were baffled by the situation.

Jun was the first to react, saying, "Aunt Fen, this is my parrot. I'm sorry, it accidentally flew over to your side..."

Before she could finish, the second stone was thrown and once again headed for Ling, ignoring any attempts to stop it.

Jun was about to explain again when they heard a scream.

"Oh no, Aunt Fen got hit by the stone she threw."

Jun quickly rushed to the wall, but the wall was high, and no matter how many times she jumped, she couldn't see the person on the other side.

Yan walked over to Jun, bracing his arms against the wall and squatting down.

Jun was puzzled.

"I don't think you're as clever as you think," Yan interrupted Jun's attempt to argue, patting his thigh. "Step on my thigh, then onto my shoulder, I'll give you a boost."

Jun hesitated.

"Don't treat me like a person; just treat me as a ladder, that'll do," Yan saw through Jun's hesitance in a glance.

Finally, Jun sat on Yan's shoulder.

They saw the neighbour on the other side of the yard holding onto a tree, blood streaming down.

"Aunt Fen, are you okay?" Jun asked.

"Somebody wants to harm I, the Queen..." Aunt Fen replied.

"The Queen?" Jun carefully observed her Aunt Fen after hearing that title. She was thin, hunched over, and had slightly crooked teeth. Honestly, a woman like her was quite distinctive in the crowd.

"Are you Empress Long... Empress Dowager Longyu?"

Upon hearing this long-forgotten title, Longyu couldn't help but look closely at the girl perched on the wall.

"Are you Er Niu? The second daughter of Zaiyi, the one who entered the palace with Yu Gege?"

A mix of emotions overwhelmed Jun upon hearing this familiar name.

Her "vehicle" became even more unstable, shaking more and more violently.

Jun heard Yan's voice filled with excitement, "The second daughter of Zaiyi, are you sure?"

"I'm not blind," Longyu expressed her displeasure from behind the wall. "By the way, Master Weng thought the name Er Niu was not elegant, so he gave her a new name, Jun."

Jun was immediately dropped to the ground like a bag of rice by Yan. She saw him leap over the wall in an instant. If she hadn't witnessed it with her own eyes, she wouldn't have known how vividly the phrase "a cornered dog will leap over a wall" could be illustrated.

"She's Jun, then who am I? Who am I?" Yan questioned.

To his foolish question, Longyu replied, "Why do you need to ask me who you are? Aren't you Yan, the one chosen by my emperor husband to stay by his side, the little troublemaker who constantly wreaks havoc in the palace with the second daughter of the Zaiyi family?"

Yan stood upright, staring intently at Jun, the one mentioned by Empress Dowager Longyu. His expression was far from that of a joyful reunion; instead, it was filled with doubt, confusion, and disbelief.

Jun felt her skin crawl under Yan's intense gaze. She had initially been a little excited, thinking that now she could legitimately claim her identity to Yan. She even remembered a poem, "searching for something everywhere and suddenly looking back."

"No, you're not Jun," Yan said firmly.

"You, child, are you deaf ? Didn't you hear what I just said? Yan is my husband's person, and Jun is my mother-in-law's person. That Forbidden City may look vast, but in reality, it's just a small place when you keep going in circles. Do you think they don't know each other?"

It turned out that Empress Dowager Longyu behind the wall was still observing the lively scene on this side. Moreover, she occasionally wanted to join in on the conversation.

"Hold on, I said they know each other, I didn't say Yan likes Jun..."

Jun felt like she had been hit with a blunt object and was utterly embarrassed.

"That boy likes Yu Gege. Once, when my mother-in-law had nothing better to do, she teased him with a child's plaything, a jade ruyi. She told him that whoever he wanted to marry in the future, he should give the ruyi to that person. Without hesitation, he handed it to Yu Gege. We all had a good laugh, thinking it was the beginning of a good match."