"HUUUUAAAA"
Taking in a deep gulp of air into my lungs while simultaneously leaping out of the water like a dolphin, CO2 left my lungs in large breaths followed by them being replaced by oxygen.
Now thankfully I had the cheat which allowed me to replenish my breath almost instantly as if I was an instant oxygen to carbon dioxide converter otherwise I would've had to resurface even sooner.
Falling back into the water, what met me next were visibly swirling water currents which arced towards my body like spikes, the centre of it being my chest and the source of it being the eyes.
Those damned eyes.
'...'
Blinking once I thought about how those eyes were the source of all my troubles, several things that could aid me in my swimming venture appeared.
Greatsword instantly dragging me deeper into the water where the lasers boiled the sea surface above me, I held the Impaler in one arm in a motion that was similar to a harpoon.
And honestly, it was not so far from the truth.
Bringing the greatsword back into my inventory, I forcefully kicked against the sea water and sent myself tumbling towards the Guardian which I resolutely stabbed its eye.
I mean, in all honesty, if the eye was the problem, just remove it, plain and simple.
And plain and simple were the following moves.
Now realizing that I had now gained a stupid but workable form of movement in the water that allowed fast speeds, I turned into a killing machine.
The process was less then honorable though.
But who's going to judge me? God?
'...'
'He actually might now that I think about'
Sinking deeper into the water with the great sword, I followed it up by jolting upwards with the shield of Cthulhu and dodged the blast of heat whizzing underneath my feet.
Following it up by my legs kicking to the side as if it had hit a wall, the great sword disappeared into my inventory as it was replaced by the impaler that did what its name sake suggested.
Impale things.
Skewering the eyeball of the Guardian onto the Impaler I grabbed the reflexively shot out spikes and maneuvered my body to the surface of the Guardian and placed my legs just below its eyes.
'And I'm guessing you know what happened right God?'
'Oh who am I kidding, you definitely know.'
Kicking to the side all the while my waist was glanced at by a cyclops's laser, bubbles rose up in the water as I shook off the Eyeball skewered onto the Impaler.
Using the blood trailing from the monster, I twirled in the bloody cloud and relied on its surprisingly effective sight blocking capabilities and arced through the air like a dolphin.
Diving back into the sea water much to the disdain of my skin which was already beginning to shrivel up like a raisin I raised my left arm and punched it down instinctively.
And lo and behold.
Past the layers of glorious H2O infused with the salt of the sea, the steel head of the Impaler met the tough layers of scales and leather like flesh followed by my own body made up of various layers being penetrated in unison.
'Fucking hell that hurts.'
Eye twitching, orange light briefly filled the blue sea surface as a column of white frothing waves burst out up into the air followed by my own body.
'What the hell.'
Disoriented completely, a ghostly vision of a rough round ball of spikes swept past my vision all the while a dull grey angry eye stared at me from the air.
And almost simultaneously that just happened, I was struck by an unprecedented sense of fatigue which paralyzed my body like some sort of disease.
It really reminds me- *SLAP
'NOT THE TIME TO REMINISCENCE ABOUT SOMETHING SO FUCKING LONG AGO WHEN THAT THIS'
Eyes widening the very same rough ball of grey flesh and purple spikes burst out of the water from beneath me with a very angry glare that rivaled the ones that my happy go lucky sister gave when she was genuinely pissed.
'Actually, I think she was scarier.'
*Paaf!
Feeling a blunt force slap against the side of my body like some drunk driver had taken the wheel to a truck and slammed into the pedestrian who was actually me I spun out in the.air where I hit a very unlikely thing.
*CRACKLE CRUNCH BANG
"WHAT IN DAVEY JONES'S LOCKER!?!?"
'Oh, Funny Pirate man.'
Dazedly resting my head against the metal which I had slammed into, some unknown foul smelling liquid splashed onto my head and dripped into my mouth.
Eyeing the man who was in victorian era clothes without all of the frills and all the style, a thick black beard put together with a black eye patch really reminded me of the pirate from Spongebob.
Feeling my senses regain their... well senses, I dazedly recalled that I was splashed by a strange liquid which entered my mouth and smelled foul...
'Now that I think about it, I think it was yel....low...'
'...'
'Please God I hope that isn't what I think it is.'
Eyes widening as a chill which made me afraid even more than being gutted by a gigantic fish of the deep unknown depths I traced the path where the liquid came from.
'Jesus, Buddha, Allah, Zeus, Kratos, Set, Exodia-'
Praying relentlessly for the truth to be in fact be a lie, it thankfully was as I traced the yellow stream back to the small glass bottle it came from.
And seeing as it was labeled booze I guess I now know why it smelled so bad.
The slap that sent me flying back into the water where I was ping ponged around by very angry guardians did leave me questioning my life choice however.
And was I imagining it or did that pirate just say to kill me because I touched his booze?
---
"KILL THAT FUCKER WHO TOUCHED MY BOOZE!!!!"
"YES CAPTAIN!!!"
Angrily manifesting a metal flask containing a different variety of wine which was smoother than the rough yellow slop that just broke out of the booze bottle, Gunpowder took a swig of it right before he wiped his big bushy black beard and pulled out a metallic gun.
'Now come 'ere Whitney! Y'ere getting y'ere taste of blood today!"
Angrily holding the shark like gun with two hands he quickly jumped into the water where an orange shark opened its mouth open wide to let the several metal barrels spin in its mouth.
And when it hit the water, spin it did.
+++
Tree