When comfort comes from the most unexpected place, it is not only surprising but also suspicious. At least, that is how it works for me. So, when Lazarus sits beside me silently as I sob, allowing me to cry my heart out, it makes me doubt his intention. It makes me feel precious, like I am the center of his world, but it also fears me.
I know Felix and Art are there too, somewhere in the room, giving me enough space but also watching me like a hawk. I don't need to look at them to feel their gazes on my skin. Rayo and Orion have left the room, excusing themselves for something important to look for. Alp has left to attend some important meeting. That leaves me alone with the three of them. Surprisingly, it does not create any kind of discomfort in me.
When I feel somewhat better, Lazarus asks me, "Do you want to go out for some air?"
Like a ten-year-old, I shake my head and sniff. The hot chocolate, well, what is left if it, has turned cold. "Where is your kitchen?"
Lazarus extends his hand to me. "Come with me." I don't know what comes over me, but I give my hand to him and push myself out of my bed.
The moment I touch him, a chill sweeps over my skin. Not that his touch feels foul or alien; the warmth in his skin makes me feel alive. I can't help of different scenarios where he tries to hurt me.
"What is it?"
I look at my feet and mutter, "I just remembered the first time we met."
"I must have scared you?"
"A lot," I admit and start walking with him. I send a glance towards Felix and Art, to make sure that they are following us. Silly, but I feel safe around them.
"Will you believe me if I say we were scared of you?" Lazarus asks, and from his grim tone I gather, he is not trying to console me. He is serious. "No one ever has been able to do what you did that night."
"You all keep mentioning that night, but the fact is that I am completely clueless." I can guess they talk about the woman and her doings, but that cannot be the only thing.
"We can influence humans. Hypnotise, or compel, or just manipulate their thoughts, however you put it. It didn't work with you." I narrow my eyes to him. I don't want to try to hide my indignation.
"I know, it is not a healthy practice, but you have to understand, it is a common practice in our world, and a girl like you in rare there. probably once in a century we come across someone completely immune to our influence, and who can beat the shit out of us. That night, we could have died."
Lazarus is not joking, or making it up. I don't know about my rare abilities, but I can definitely say that the woman would have killed them if I asked her to. I don't have any excuse to defend myself other than the most obvious one. "You were going to sacrifice me. God knows how. Besides, I didn't do any of that."
Lazarus hold my hand tighter. From my peripheri, I can see Felix and Art walking closely. "Not consciously, I believe, but it WAS you."
"It was not me."
"Can you swear?"
"I swear," I press.
Suddenly Lazarus pulls me closer to him. The abrupt movement makes me shriek. He grabs a fistful of my hair and tilts my head. His face looms over mine, his breathe heats my cheeks. "Are you sure?"
"I am," I say in a whisper. My lips quiver in thrill and tension. Lazarus watches me for a while, then kisses me.
I had read many things about first kisses. They are fireworks, they are world shattering, they are life changing... nowhere, ever did I read about the comfort it gives. With that thought, I surrender to his lips.