I rolled again in my bed as I begged my eyes to just close so that I could get some sleep. I really need to sleep if I continue staying up my mind will blow up. I could hear Jane snoring in her bed and I wished it was me sleeping that peacefully. Why was all this happening to me and within the same week this is crazy. I need a break from all this and for the first time the thought of going back home for a break crossed my mind. I thought my freshman year was a disaster but at least that period of time the thought of going back to Texas never crossed my mind.
"Hey Jane wake up! Hey Jane!" I shrugged her trying to wake her up from her deep sleep.
"Sandra what's wrong? It couldn't wait till morning?" She complained as she sat up in her bed where I had already tucked myself in.
"No it couldn't." I said strongly. She stared at me with her red sleep deprived eyes. She held me tightly and all of a sudden I couldn't control my emotions and I started crying. "I want to go home. I cannot stay here any longer." I murmured as I wiped my tears with my sweaty palms.
After explaining what had happened she was more angry at me than she was at Jayden and Spencer. She could not hide the rage she had at me for keeping such things from her. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?" She asked a bit angry but concerned.
We sat there in silence as she held me. By just sharing what I was going through with her, I felt like a heavy load had just been lifted from my back and I felt like I was strong enough to continue staying here. I peeped at her face and I could see she was deep in thought. She hardly blinked and I completely understood her as the situation had made me almost lose my mind.
I woke up the following day in Jane's bed curled up close to her and I thanked myself for sharing my burden with her even though I knew I had dragged her in my mess. I don't remember the last time I felt this good, it felt strange. I jumped to the shower and promised myself not to think about anything negative that would ruin this bright day. How I wished Jayden was here to wake me up with the smell of the cup of coffee he usually brought me everyday and I could tell him what was bothering me. Yeah there goes my mind again with the thoughts. But how could I do it when he was the one who I was angry with though I knew pretty well he was not wrong for expressing his feelings. But why did he have to complicate my life this much.
"You know what, today we are not attending those boring classes. Dress up I have a surprise for you." Jane said cheekily. I am always terrified of her when she becomes cheeky but today felt different, I needed some different kind of madness.
I wore my sundress and some sneakers and I was ready for the day ahead. We visited the *park where I had the best time of my life. I never thought playing around would be this fun. I felt like a child again with no worry of anything in the world and for the first time in a long time I was truly happy. I giggled like a child as we went around in the merry go round and jumped high on the trampoline. Jane tried getting a bunny for me in the shooting game but her aiming was as awful as mine and we had to leave the shop with nothing after about ten tries.
The evening met us at the ice cream shop. As we enjoyed our cold vanilla ice cream we shared stories of our childhood and I realized, I knew very little about her. Unlike I who had grown in a small village in Texas she had grown up in the busy streets of New York. Most of her life she lived with her drug addict mother before her father came back and took custody of her. When she lived with her mother she had learnt to take care of herself from a young age as most of the time her mother was nowhere to be found. With those difficulties I now understood why she was so tough and nothing ever seemed to bother her.
I told her of my small village where everyone knew everyone and she couldn't believe it as she had grown without any friends and no one ever seemed to care what she was going through. No wonder she protected me like her small sister and couldn't let anyone play around with me and I even feared what she would do to both Jayden and Spencer. I remember one evening she had locked a girl in our room's bathroom for the whole day without any food for calling me a hoe and since that day I was also afraid of her.
The walk to school was so therapeutic. We joked of how our lives were so different while growing up. I wished every single day could be as refreshing as today and when we entered our room I was so sleepy that I jumped in my bed with my shoes on and went straight to sleep.
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