He stepped back and turned around. He didn't even want to face me. He was heartbroken because of me. I turned around and somehow found my way out of palace unseen. I didn't want anyone to witness me in this state. I reached wisteria palace. Amy was waiting for me. On seeing me, she came running towards me. Jenifer and some other maids were also standing there. Amy watched me in horror and said,
" Princess, we heard there was a fire. Are you alright? You must be tired..."
Jenifer walked to Amy and touched her shoulder.
" Amy, it's okay." Amy looked at her " She is fine and need rest."
Amy looked at me and calmed down. She grabbed my arm and we walked towards my bedroom. I washed and changed into night gown. Jenifer gave me a soup to eat. It was tasteless for me. My body was in my room but my soul was roaming around him. How would he manage himself? I couldn't figure out what was more painful? His tears or facing the reality.
" Princess, you look lost. Did something happen?" Amy said while sitting beside me on couch.
I looked at her and just couldn't hold it in anymore. My emotions bursted in front of her. She was really worried and indifferent to all of this didnt know what to do? She went into panic mode. I didn't need anything. I wrapped my arms around her and told her everything.
" I didn't understand love. My emotions took control of my actions and I hurted many people around me." I told her while sniffing.
I continued,
" Why is love so complicated? How will I face him from now on? When I told him, he just turned around. He didn't even want to see me. Am I this repulsive?" I said.
Amy didn't say anything to console me just stayed beside me. She didn't know what to do? I told her to go and rest. She resisted but I insisted.
My tears dried but my pain never decreased. I was just feeling more hollow and emotionless with passing of time. To say, I was eighteen, but I acted like a child. My head was aching. My eyes must be red and puffy from all that crying, so I closed my eyes.
Alaric was just looking at me. His blue green eyes shining in faint rays of sunlight entering through the glass windows. His face had a warm glow on it. I was feeling cozy and warm with him. He put my hair behind my ear that must have loosed down from my bun.
His feathery touch sent me sparkles. I liked the way he touched. He grabbed my hand gently and lifted to his lips.
I was in the playful mood. Before he could do anything I got up from the couch and went to balcony. We were in my room. The sun went down and moon shined brightly. I sensed him behind me. He back hugged me . His warm breathe fanned my neck. My heart was thirsty for him like a fish for water. He whispered close to my ear,
" If you jerked away from me now, I will never come to you. You will never see me again."
I gasped and turned around to look at him.
" Don't say that...." I said and hugged him. He chuckled and said," I am just joking."
" Don't joke like that ever." I muttered into his chest.
I was safe and comfortable in his arms. I just wanted to stay like that forever.
I heard a sound and opened my eyes to see I was on my couch.
"It was a dream." I muttered to myself.
I must have dozed off. I was cold. That dream felt real. But, my dreams couldn't shape into reality.
I heard that sound again from balcony. I got up and walked to balcony. I was shocked to see Alaric there. His eyes were red and he looked restless. His platinum blonde hair were messy. He was a mess because of the mess I created.
My heart clenched more painfully now that I saw him. Why was he here? I was feeling more guilty. He walked towards me and grabbed my hand lightly. I looked on floor. I couldn't face him.
" You are not flinching anymore with my touch." He said in his dry voice.
I didn't respond to his touch because I wasn't feeling anything anymore.When I didn't respond he continued,
" Why are you looking down? You haven't done something wrong. It's not your fault you wasn't able to love me. Maybe I wasn't that appealing."
And laughed in a hollow voice. I immediately looked up. He was really blaming himself even after all this, just to make me feel better. What was he made of? I stepped back a bit and said," Don't ever blame yourself. It's not your fault that I don't know love and I think I won't be able to understand it my whole life."
" No, you are wrong. Attraction is just the beginning of love and you have already felt it..."
I looked at him and asked,
" How are you sure that you love me?"
" You really wanna know...."
I nodded. He went and sat down on floor leaning on the wall. He patted the seat beside him. I also sat down beside him. The floor was cold. But, it didn't matter now.
" I was fourteen when I first experienced it. I met a girl Gabreilla. She stayed in our kingdom for four months. She was so small and beautiful like a doll. When I first saw her in a tea party. I was attracted towards her. The urge to protect her came naturally to me.
Whenever I saw her I felt like yeah she is the one and I had to protect to her with my life on line. She was so delicate yet strong. I used to believe that she was my everything. My world started with her and ended with her.
She was my first kiss too. I used to think we would marry one day ( he chuckled) but I was stupid. I was possessive about her. I didn't like when she talked with other guys and even her friends. I wanted all of her to myself. I used to get angry and jealous. But, one day my heart broke....." He choked.
I put my hand on his hand gently to show him I was there with him. I wanted to listen more. He looked at me and smiled a little. He continued,
" She was acting weird. She felt more distant because She was seeing another guy. I saw her with that guy. They were so happy. I cornered her and she told me that she was sorry and her love for me ended. She didn't feel anything for me. I was heartbroken.
But, now I understand she neither loved me nor that guy. She didn't even know what love is. We were all children after all." grabbed my hand gently " But, when I saw you for the first time. I was sure I was in love. I thought you really loved me but I came to know yours was attraction too."
My vision blurred with my tears. He suffered a lot. I wasn't angry or jealous of that girl. I didn't hate her either.
" I am thankful to her." I said. He was frowning in confusion.
" It's because of her you became the lovely person you are ."
His features gentled and he smiled broadly. He was looking so divine while smiling. There was hope for me. I could love. I was relieved to know that.
" You know there is only one difference between attraction and love."
" What...."
" Attraction fades away with time but love.....love will bloom with each passing moment."
My heart did a little flip flop on that line. I understood some things and some weren't clear yet. What was stored for me in coming days? I was almost ready to face it. I felt more clear and stronger than before. I was growing.
" Thanks....."
" Why?"
" You made things clear from me. I am thankful to you."
I got up and asked," So, what are we now?"
He also got up and said," Maybe, just friends."
Disappointment was reflecting in his voice.
" I am sorry."
He shaked his head in a no.
" It will take time."
That night we justified us as just friends. I was feeling happy. I was enlightened. He was my best friend. It sounded adorable.
Alaric
" I told her about Gabriella."I told Rick.
" Really." He said in a surprised tone.
He leaved the work he was doing and came towards me. He was extremely interested in my matter.
I nodded and continued,
" She has changed. She told me she was thankful to her. She is strong and intelligent. We are just friends now."
" WHAT...."
Why was he exaggerating?
" Man, Are you alright?" He panicked.
I smiled at him and said," I am fine atleast for now."
" Really..." He cross checked.
I assured him I was alright and he went back to do his work.
I was really fine. A little heart broken and sad that we became just friends and set the boundaries. I had to lock my love in me somewhere. I couldn't roam like a heartbroken lover. I wasn't even allowed to think about her now. Not imaging her with me, not anymore. She was just my friend. I limited our relationship myself. I was regretting saying just friends. I sighed.
But, somewhere in my heart there was satisfaction and calmness that everything settled.
About love, I would make her love me for sure. I would for sure. I could talk to her and see her everyday. Touching her was limited now. But, I was planning to cross every limit with her and reach the epitome of love. I smiled maniacally on that thought.
She was my soul and just for today, I would dream of her. Only her....