She looked up to see me. She was shocked. I bent down and helped her up. She was gaping at me in shock. She grabbed my arms and traced them with her hands. She was convincing herself that I was real.
" P...Princess....." She said in her tired voice.
" I am real." I said and hugged her. She wrapped her weak arms around me. I felt the familiar warmth. I felt like I was home. The cloud of memories bursted in me and I was left with tears only.
"W..Why are you suddenly here? Are you alright?" She bombarded me with questions.
" Princess....." Amy shouted.
She was pale and worried about something.
"Amy...." Nanny whispered.
She was shocked to see her as well. She once looked at me and then at her. She was confused. I knew it was a lot to take in.
" His majesty is coming." She said in a tensed voice.
He must have known by now. I was afraid. What would he do? I heard several footsteps. My breathe came in more deeper breaths. I was afraid. My face was warm but my limbs were cold. Amy came and stood beside me. It was just silent and we were waiting for what was he going to do? I was afraid of this situation.
His majesty came in with several knights. He was frowning hardly and was looking angry. He stood before me and I shrunk like a cat in front of him. He yelled,
" You.....What the hell did you do? I sent you to live there peacefully and couldn't even do that. You ignited a fire there. I just can't believe. What were you trying to do?" He sighed and shaked his head. His eyes were red and fists clenched. He continued,
"From now, you are imprisoned in this palace......You should have died like your parents. Good for nothing garbage. Such a useless thing I have in this castle."
He muttered the last lines to himself but everyone heard that all. He went away but his whispers were echoing in my ears. The last words striked me hard. What if I would have died like my parents? This wouldn't have happened.
Nanny bombarded me with questions but I couldn't answer them. She asked again and again but it was really hard. I had no answers. I ran away from there.
Amy and Nanny called me from behind but I didn't stop. I ran upstairs. It was really dusty and spider webs were everywhere. I ran down to end of Corridor and opened the door to a room. It was my secret place. Nanny and Amy didn't know about this. I coughed due to the dust in the room.
When I missed my parents I used to come up here in secret. This was a safe, a room filled with the objects related to them that contained thousands of memories. After their death, I stole some things from their room because I wasn't allowed to keep anything with me. Uncle William or should I call him His majesty? He never once even tried to understand the heart of an eight year old kid.
" He wants me to die...." I whispered in my dry voice and sighed.
Pain was choking my heart. I felt more helpless than before. I stepped forward leaving the traces of my foot on the dusty marble floor. I could felt that dry sand stuck on my foot but I didn't care at the moment. I stood in the middle of the room and looked around. It was the biggest room of the lone palace even bigger than the one in wisteria palace. I opened the closet and put out every box and papers from it. I didn't dare to see most of the things before because I wasn't prepared. I was scared because I thought that I won't be able to see these things without breaking down.
But now, I felt like I was ready to face them. I opened the first box with my shaky hands. It contained a pendant and there was a photo of my parents on that locket. I thought I wouldn't be able to see them again even in photos. Their image from my mind was fading slowly. I could only sense them in my memories but this pendant saved it all.
I would be able to imagine them from now on. My mother was so beautiful. Nanny was right I looked like her but my eyes matched my dad. I immediately put that around my neck. I wanted them near me. I opened the next box and was shocked and confused to see that there was a seal inside it. It looked like a royal seal. I locked that box for now. I opened several boxes and some of them contained jewelleries of my mother and some used fountain pens.
The sunlight filtrating through the tainted glass was getting dim. The room was getting darker. I put the things back in closet and walked back. The lone palace was gradually blending into shadows and this was my life from now on. I was imprisoned in this palace forever. I had only memories to live between these cold walls. Amy and nanny was being punished for no reason.They just wanted me to be well and happy. It wasn't their fault or my fault that my parents died. It was just my destiny and luck. To say, I was a princess but only my status was rich, I was poor in all other aspects. From my parents to Alaric I was really unlucky. I had them one moment and in the next moment everything was crumbling. Their hands from mine slipped so easily.
I still remembered that Alaric was holding my hand untill the last moment. Cold and brutal memories took the place of memories that was once beautiful and dreamy.
I went into my room and sat there on bed. I was tired from the vicious cycle of being abandoned. No matter how beautiful was my attraction, it abandoned me too. I was feeling really lonely.
Nanny entered my room and sat beside me. She had that look of pity in her tired eyes. She was pitying me and I hated that. I looked down to hide my anger. I was angry at her for not teaching me the reality of this cruel world.
" I always knew you went to library to read romance novels and fairytales at night." She said in a gentle tone.
I felt betrayed. Tears gathered in my eyes threatening to spill at another word.
" I know everything about you and Prince Alaric."
I looked at her with anger in my eyes. Tears spilled down my eyes.
"Then, Why didn't you tell me that there is a world outside the books. THE REAL WORLD and it's so cruel....Why didn't you tell me that world of books isn't real? ( I choked and inhaled through my mouth) ...I..Instead, you created a bubble for me and made me believe that I am born to be loved......"
She grabbed my face with her hand and emphasized,
" YOU are born to be loved."
" No... I am a princess that doesn't mean I get to live the fairytale life. I know you don't get to control whom you love. You just love them without asking for anything in return but sometimes, LOVE IS A CHOICE."
" Princess, don't think like that everybody loves you....."
" Then, why did king William abandoned me? Why did he make me a nobody in my own palace ?"
She was speechless and I grabbed her hand gently and said in a low voice,
" I am princess by birth not by choice. If I wasn't a princess you wouldn't have glanced at me even once. Your loyalty is to the crown and I am nothing not even a princess now ."
I got up and turned my back to her and emphasized,
" I am just a prisoner."
" No, princess..." She said in a desperate tone but I interrupted in between and said,
" Nanny please, I know you love me and I love you too but I am not the ideal princess born to be pampered and being loved... and you know that. I have accepted my fate and if you can't accept me anymore then you know you aren't obliged to stay with me. You can leave anytime."
I said the last lines in a sad tone. I knew it was harsh but necessary. She said nothing and just walked out of my room. I hate to fight with her.
I locked the door and looked at my room. My room was still clean even after all those monthes, even after I abandoned it, more like was forced to abandoned. My small room with small bed and a small window on the wall opposite to the door.
I went and stood near the window. The wood of window was cold. The moon was dim and it felt like everything was hidden in shadows like my emotions in pain.
Alaric and I used to like sat under the moon and talk for hours. Was he watching the sky too? Was he remembering me too? But, Why was I remembering him after all of this? It wasn't like I loved him. If I was there and everything was alright, then he would sneak into my room to spent some time with me. I smiled to myself and whispered to nobody,
" Atleast, I know the difference between like and love now."
I breathed audibly. My body shivered from cold. My limbs were almost numb but my soul was bathing in those warm memories. I smiled to myself. Atleast, I liked him enough in the past to remember him now.