"I'm not going back to work, okay? Cause I'm sick... No, what are you saying? Don't be stupid, don't call me anymore."
I wake up to Iwamoto's voice.
As I rub my eyes and sit up on bed, I find that Iwamoto is already looking at me from the other side of the door.
"Good morning."
"Good morning..."
Today is Monday.
Yesterday I felt bad because I fell asleep next to my pregnant husband. But this morning, I am beyond happy because I remember I could feel him in my embrace, I could hear his breathing, and I like how he moved in my arms with his eyes closed.
My ulcer burns and my appetite is non-existent. Iwamoto still cut me some canned peaches into quite small pieces. He feeds me. I chew in silence, can't distinguish the sweetness because of the fever, but their freshness and softness are chilling my throat.
I had told Iwamoto that when I was a child and sick, my grandmother used to do that, so he laughed and said he wanted to try it at least once. The corners of his eyes had little crinkles in them when he smiled, so I thought it was a cute thing to see.
Afterward, Iwamoto wipes my burning body with a warm towel, strokes my head gently, and lay down next to me.
Iwamoto's abdomen is swollen.
I haven't noticed it until now because of the clothes he wears lately. But now, sideways and very close to me, the reality of pregnancy seems quite overwhelming.
I gently touch his belly with my whole palm. I caress it...a perfect circle.
Iwamoto seems to get shy but stays just as he is.
"He's grown up."
"...You haven't noticed?"
Actually, I've been running away from this.
It is an important moment---important yet quite scary. Just as I had feared.
***
By the afternoon, I am doing much, much better. Maybe because the medicine was finally kicking in when I rested as recommended. I still have a stomach ache, but my fever is not so high anymore. And although I can't eat much, I've been forcing myself to shove something into my mouth.
"Hey...I don't think I'm going to return to the company after the pregnancy," says Iwamoto suddenly.
"Huh?"
Is this because of his previous call? He sounded troubled there. Is he okay? Is there something I should be worried about?
Iwamoto smiles at my worried face.
"Oh, take it easy. It's nothing important. I just think it would be best to go to a place that pays better. Anyway, the president's wife can get me something else."
"...I see."
But just as I am about to say more, my stomach rumbles.
"Are you hungry?"
"Well, guess I am."
"Good. I made porridge yesterday and some pears with honey. There's boiled fish too... Do you want to eat in bed, or can you come to the table?"
"I'm coming to the table."
Once I get to the kitchen, I notice that the porridge has seedless plums in it, and rice. It seems my dear husband did a lot of research on healing foods.
"I don't think it's good for you to eat them all at once. I prepared hojicha too, it's on the stove."
"Oh man, thank you so much."
I love hojicha. I think it's something I can drink always and for the rest of my life. My stomach hurts a little, but it is much better than Friday and is definitely nobler than the hellish pangs I had over the weekend. Looks like I can go to work tomorrow because fortunately, there are no surgeries scheduled.
"Your complexion is getting better."
Iwamoto looks at me and exhales deeply, looking quite worried about me. So inside, I swear I'm not going to ever work straight with no breaks again. If possible, maybe do some work out too to get a bit fitter. Not as fit as Iwamoto of course, but at least enough to not look so useless.
After eating, I take the medicine and lay back down on the bed. Soon, without me noticing, sleep hits me hard. Hard enough to make me think that I am still very sick after all.
Very sick.
"..."
I awake to an overwhelming sense of silence. It is quieter than usual. It's already dark outside but there is no sign of Iwamoto in the living room or kitchen. Did he go shopping...?
As he had recommended earlier in the day, I put on a knit sweater over my pajamas and put the hojicha on to warm up before heading to the bathroom.
I am washing my hands when I hear a voice from outside the window, shouting.
"I said get the f*ck off here!"
"Then talk to me!"
A bad feeling creeps up my body.
I rush to the entrance as fast as possible. I am only wearing sandals but does not realize that. I also forget the key, and the plastic on my foot suddenly buckles. I go back to put on shoes, grab the key, and finally open the front door. My wilted legs are tangled and several times I feel like I am about to fall face first to the floor. I manage and run down the stairs of the apartment in a rather desperate and odd way. I go out into the parking lot and look around.
Where is Iwamoto?
"And who gave you the address?"
Iwamoto stands by the dumpster near the entrance to the parking lot. He seems to be fighting with a man who has a quite similar build to his. He is muscular, wearing a towel around his head and safety shoes like the ones Iwamoto has. He is a little shorter, with dignified eyebrows, big eyes with double eyelids, and good features on his face. Is he a colleague? Does he work at the same construction site?
"I asked the boss... I told him I wanted to talk to you, about this."
The man presents Iwamoto with a bag full of papers, but is not taken. I am just staring at the man.
"Aizawa, please..."
The moment I hear the name, my body freezes in the worst way. So he's the guy who gave my husband food, taught him some cooking, and even dared to put his fingers on his bare skin.
"Well, the boss had no right to tell you that. And you don't have to come."
Aizawa doesn't even take a step back, despite the terrible aura Iwamoto gives off. His eyes are impatient.
"Why did you suddenly take a break?"
"...Because I'm expecting a baby."
"W-what...? Hey, wait a minute." Aizawa closes his distance on Iwamoto, his gestures absolutely those of someone young. "Well...it's ridiculous for you to take a break just because you got a woman pregnant."
Iwamoto doesn't respond, but raises his eyebrows and brings one of his trembling hands straight to his forehead.
He is quite angry. I know that. I've learned that nature of his. He would get annoyed quick, and always looked like he was about to punch the one who got him angry. Some of my colleagues thought that Iwamoto won't do that recklessly to protect the baby, but now I think they are more than wrong.
What should I do? Will my presence make things worse?
"You were so happy that you could be the field supervisor and suddenly you just went and turned it down. I...I'd like to know what happened."
Hearing that, Iwamoto's eyes, which should have been looking directly at Aizawa, close for a moment.
Oh...
There it is again, that damned frustrated expression. The one that said he infinitely regretted not continuing to work at what he loved.
But at the same time, he is looking forward to meeting the baby. He had told me so many times. He was happy about everything that is going on and even, seemed terribly excited when he found out he was carrying a girl.
I don't think his joy is fake, but I can still feel his sadness.
Iwamoto is still young, an MFUU who loves being a carpenter. However, even though it was hard and he cried on me, he decided to swallow it all and will never ever complain about it again.
What self-control he has.
Sure, Iwamoto is in a lot of pain.
Now, regardless of what is going on, I want to rush over there to ask Iwamoto if he is okay. I want to hold him and tell him that I understand, that he can trust me completely. Hopefully, he can just talk to me and tell me again everything that he still finds difficult. If you feel about to fall, just come and hold me tight.
"I was really looking forward to working with you! It's not an exaggeration, I looked forward to it every day..."
"I enjoy working with you too." Iwamoto does not lose control. He repeats, in a calm voice, "I just can't anymore."
I want to stop him now before he ends up overthinking. So I slowly approach them and wait.
"Please, please go back to work..."
"Aizawa," Iwamoto interrupts. The harsh tone has disappeared from his eyes. "I've said it many times, but I'll say it once more. You're a good friend, and I only see you that way, okay? It's not good for you to be so delusional about someone like me."
Aizawa looks away, startled by Iwamoto's words.
Oh...
Turns out my wild jealousy is unexpectedly reliable! My sense of danger was working right! I wasn't exaggerating!
"Iwa..."
"Look, I'm an MFUU okay? I'm a man, but I have a uterus. I'm the one who's going to have the baby, there's no woman. I'm 5 months pregnant now, no, I'm almost 6."
Aizawa does not look at Iwamoto.
"Such a joke, just to get rid of me..."
"It's not a joke. Why would I joke about something like that? It's not much of a laugh."
"Yeah, well...if that's true, you..." Aizawa's voice is so weak. His fingers tremble.
"I married a man."
"I don't believe you. That's...impossible" Aizawa finally looks up, his voice almost shatters. "That is absolutely stupid!"
"I am not stupid...I don't even know why you can't seem to understand! I love a man, and I married him. It's simple."
"Don't say it! Stop it!"
Iwamoto looks uncomfortable but stays still. Not even when Aizawa grabs and shakes him hard by the shoulders.
I sympathize with that man. It must be painful to love someone yet they don't feel the same way about you. Like having your chest ripped apart.
Then Iwamoto realizes I am here.
"...Takashi, what are you doing? You should be sleeping. It's cold, why don't you come back? I-I promise I'll catch up with you right away."
"I woke up and was surprised you weren't there. Don't worry, it's okay, I can wait for you."
Aizawa is also looking at me. His face is weird, like mocking. It gives off an air of superiority than resentment. Maybe he is surprised by my poor appearance. He can't believe that a guy like me will be the partner of someone like Iwamoto.
Aizawa points at me and shouts, "Did you seriously marry this one?"
Well, that goes without saying.
"He's my husband."
"A total pussy."
"Shut up."
Iwamoto speaks in a low voice. Furious.
"Well, it's just that he's weird! You're much more manly!"
I don't deny it...
"Seriously, shut up!"
Iwamoto's voice is almost a roar.
"Then why are you with him? Do you feel sorry for him? Or...is it he who feels sorry for you? Did you ever think about it? That he chose you as his husband to get you out of poverty in exchange for sex?"
Iwamoto reaches his limit. I've never seen him this furious.
"What do you know about Takashi-san?! What do you know about me or anything else to do with me?! It's not even like we're great friends or like you're a good worker! What do you want me to supervise you for? Most of the time you're so idiotic and useless that I think you're the one who's pitiful."
No. Don't.
This is wrong. Those sound like the words Iwamoto should never say to Aizawa.
Aizawa's lips are trembling. His hands... It seems like he can't even breathe anymore.
The moment I rush forward and stand between those two, it is just as Aizawa is lunging forward to punch Iwamoto.