I didn't pay attention to anything today, I just thought about my dreams. It was mentally draining, and the school day seemed endless.
Everyone seemed to as me,
"Are you ok?" or "What happened?"
I brushed them off by using the good ol' "I didn't sleep well", but Hermia didn't buy it.
At the end of the school day, she approached me.
"Koyuki, tell me what happened right now." She demanded.
"Wh-What do you mean? I'm fine." I smile awkwardly.
She stared and I looked down.
"I'll tell you while we walk." I mumble.
We were walking, getting comfortable by the second, until a delinquent wannabe was walking by. And everything seemed to be a reference from my last dream.
I hold Hermia's hand tightly, and she looked at me.
"Did he hurt you?" She whispered.
"No." I shake my head.
"Then what?"
I hesitate before telling her my dream in detail, and her face grew concerned with every word I say.
"Oh my." She whispered.
She hugged me without saying anything, I hug her bag, sobbing quietly.
"Let's sleep together tonight." She said, "Maybe the nightmares will stop."
"At my place or yours?" I ask.
"At my place. I used to read psychology books, if you want to change your subconscious's atmosphere, change where you sleep."
I nod.
That night, I went to Hermia's house. As we walked into her room, I found out that there was only one bed. I looked away in embarrassment.
"I have a mattress." Hermia said.
I nod.
She take out a big mattress and we both lay down. She was wearing a white night gown, and I was wearing an Osamu Dazai merch shirt and a mini skirt.
I close my eyes, and as you may have expected, nothing changed. I wasn't surprised, just disappointed.
I stop time and walk to my mom, I enter the car sighing heavily as I resume time.
Mom was surprised, but as the car approached the crashing spot, we started fighting over the driving wheel.
"God damnit! Let go!" She shouted.
"Over my dead body!" I shout back.
She scoffed as she kicked me in my stomach and I fell out of the car. And she crashed.
I got on my knees, touching my stomach in pain, and some tears drop in my hands, I wipe them and start walking.
A man stopped me.
"Excuse me, why are you rather blue?" He asked.
At that moment, I told him everything, breaking down, and he listened patiently.
"I'm so sorry to hear that, would you mind following me?" he said.
My mom always told me not to trust strangers, but I don't trust her either, and thinking about it, I have nothing to lose.
I follow him, we walked a lot, and legs started hurting.
"Wait here." he ordered, pointing to a spot next to big recycling bin.
I watched him open a door and enter inside, he left the door wide open. I couldn't help but look.
I saw a girl tied to an operation chair. 'Is he some kind of doctor?' was my first thought. He was performing a surgery on her, and it seems like he didn't use anesthesia.
And looks like she didn't give consent either.
I felt like throwing up. I knew I shouldn't left, but curiosity got the better of me. The girl was screaming so loud, I could've guessed that she ripped her vocal chords in the process.
"Seems like I messed up." The man sighed.
He carried the girl to the recycling bin on the other side and covered her with a white sheet.
When he was out of sight, I tip-toed to the scene.
I gulp before raising the sheet a little before covering it back. She was still alive and breathing heavily. He was performing a surgery in her intestines, so you can imagine the scene, he didn't even bother to close the wound, it was out there in the wild. Her hands instinctively started touching, and she starting weeping slowly.
"Oh my god, that is horrible." I whisper, covering my mouth.
I felt some breeze that tickled my neck. I look behind slowly, it was the man, he was staring at my soul.
"O-oh um." I stutter.
I get up and ran as fast as I can. I was practically sprinting, I take a glance behind me me, and he was catching up. I look for my ring in horror, only to find it gone.
While running, my shoes came off, and I couldn't careless. It was raining and in fact very slippery.
I felt a sharp pain in my foot, a glass shard. I pause to get it out, but the man only approached faster. I had to suck it up, and kept running.
My leg got caught into a mini bear trap. It wasn't strong enough to amputate it, but it was extremely painful. I let out a scream.
The man removed the trap, and I was too tired to fight back, but I had enough energy to clench into a tree.
He took out a bat and smacked me in the head.
I woke up on the same operation chair the girl was on, I look around in horror. He approached me with a needle and a hammer. Am I about to get lobotomized?
And it hit me, I was in fact about to get a lobotomy.
"No! Stay back!" I shake my head.
He laughed maliciously before positioning the needle in front of my eye, followed by a tap from the hammer.
I felt immense pain wash all over me, I wanted to cover my face, but my hands were tied. Lobotomies usually take from six to fifteen minutes, but it can't kill you.
After it was over, my eyes were dry, blood spilling from right eye.
He inspected my face, "I think I failed again." He shrugged as he carried me to meet the same fate as the girl.
I got out of the bin. I can't see properly, it' all blurry. I look around, a piece of glass was on the floor. I pick it up as I look at my self. I lit my throat with it, a pool of blood grew around me.
I woke up, Hermia was staring at me, and I almost had a heart attack.
"Sorry, you were moving a lot, so I decided to look at your facial expressions."
"I-it's ok." I say, touching my neck.
"Tell me, what was thou dream about?"
I broke down and told her everything. She listened closely, and patted my back. She listened in the same way the man did. I was scared, I knew Hermia wouldn't hurt me, but I can't help it.
"It's ok, let's watch a movie, shall we?"
And we didn't sleep that night.
I am grateful that I have someone who listens to me, but I don't want to be in this situation, I'd rather be dead.
My God, what sin have I committed that I deserve such a punishment?