The sun is going down as Airi and I stroll along the riverbank. Warm orange sun rays colour the river in a glimmering band of warm shades.
It is peaceful and some other people are walking or sitting by the river as well, enjoying this in-between time of day and night.
"I really wanted them to be together." Airi breaks the silence. "However, now I understand how that wouldn't be possible without disregarding their emotions and actual circumstances."
She looks up to me. "I never thought or even considered that you could decide against your feelings, especially against your fated love."
"This is a form of love as well. Their relationship couldn't possibly be truly fulfilling if they got together now. Wouldn't that have been worse?"
She thinks a little about my statement. "It wouldn't have been a good foundation for their relationship, indeed."
"It is better this way. I'm glad they each got their own resolution and conclusion to it."
"Forcing people fated by the red threads isn't the right way to progress either." Airi mumbles that more to herself in a way of confirming the recent situation again.
I also never encountered that before as well. I assumed that wanting to be together with your destined partner is an inevitable consequence of being tied by the red strings. A natural result out of our control. Still, under certain conditions this reign over our destination can be defied.
Airi sighs loudly in frustration. "What's the point of learning and understanding love anymore?" Naturally, she picks up from the conversation with Ryousuke and the possible needless suffering throughout the numerous centuries. She turns around looking at the slowly rising moon in the sky. "What was the point of all of this?"
I can't imagine what feelings and thoughts are going through her mind right now. If Ryousuke's information is true and for most of her life she had to suffer in vain just to play into a scheme, then surely this isn't something to digest easily. The resentment and bitterness must be immeasurable.
"It's only a hypothesis so far. We will get behind it." I try to ease her frustration a bit.
"I'm not sure if you can come along to the gates of heaven." She looks at me with doubtful eyes.
Despite the expression, the brown within her eyes appear to glimmer.
"Oh." I hesitate. I just assumed that I could come along too.
"Well, Chiye was able to enter… so I thought, I could as well."
"Your assumption is correct, but those were different circumstances. She didn't go there voluntarily."
"I guess so." I'm a little bit taken aback. I thought I could get Chiye this way, returning to the earthly realm together. That would have ensured her safe return.
"Humans usually can't leave their realm. Except for their passage from life to death."
"Do you think there is a way for me to come along?" I want to exhaust all possibilities before giving up on the idea to join Airi to the gates of heaven.
"We will have to ask Ryousuke, I'm not familiar with such things, for I'm too disassociated with the way the realms work." Her tone is aggravated. Airi's resentment seems to grow relentlessly, which is only a matter-of-course.
"We still have three days until the preparations are done. Maybe there is a way to collect some evidence to prove your predicament? We can start by sorting out all the deities or spirits that might have a grudge against the lunar kingdom or your parents in particular."
My suggestion sparks a glint of curiosity in her eyes.
"Let's do that." Her expression finally softens up again, losing the distressed furrows.
The moon is almost at its highest pinnacle as we agree to go to Chiye's bedroom to bring some light into the potential intrigues that messed up Airi's course of life.
We lay out a large piece of paper on the wooden floor of Chiye's bedroom.
"So, who comes to your mind when thinking of other deities or spirits having an obvious grudge against you or rather your family?" I write down 'Lunar Kingdom' in the middle of the paper, circling it.
"Well, the most obvious is the sun kingdom."
"What is the story behind it?"
Airi looks at me with a puzzled expression. "Didn't you learn that in school or by just simply being with Chiye at the temple?"
I shrug my shoulders in embarrassment. "Guilty."
The folklore, myths and tales of the ancient past were always Chiye's favourite subjects, but I honestly never gave that much thought. It was more enjoyable seeing Chiye's excitement rather than paying attention to each story. Oftentimes, my neutral indifference allowed Chiye to cheerfully explain the stories to me again and again. I'd listen to her attentively, but the words never stuck. Solely her lively expressions and gestures remained in my memory.
She would randomly mention about the similarity of a current situation to one of the tales, which I wouldn't see and though she is unseriously upset at first, she would still proceed to explain everything in detail to me. It was our way of teasing each other. I continued to not try to remember any of the tales and she would then punish me with all the necessary and unnecessary specifications.
Airi chuckles. "Even though Chiye told you the stories so many times." I snicker playfully.
"However, I hope you are paying attention now, this would be helpful to you when you can join me for the gates of heaven." Airi punitively points her finger at me and smiles mockingly.
"You have the entirety of my attention." I solemnly hold up my right hand and then press it against the left side of my chest. She laughs brightly which makes my heart flutter.
"Then I shall begin where everyone and everything found their origin."
"It was after the great kami of creation conceived their offspring forming the current lands and earth. One of their offspring then bore the sun goddess Taiyou-Okami, the moon goddess Tsuki-Okami and the goddess of the ocean Umi-Okami. The Tayiou-Okami is the ruler of the entirety of the heavenly realm. All other kami, deities and spirits are under her mercy. She is what brings life to earth, she is undeniably the centre of everything and everyone. Tsuki-Okami on the other hand, whose descendant I am, was designated with ruling over the sky and the night. Umi-Okami then ruled over the ocean, all water and seas. Before human life prevailed on earth, all three sisters were close to each other. It was harmonious, truly a time where the kami solely ruled. However, it is said that Tsuki-Okami committed two grave sins, first sending the kami of willful force to Taiyou-Okami's celestial hall, killing her innocent spirits. Secondly, piercing the kami of harvest with her heavenly spear simply out of spite. That enraged Taiyou-Okami so much that she forbade Tsuki-Okami to ever appear in front of her again. Consequently, day and night were created, the age of humankind was therefore ushered in. Thenceforth, the severance between the earthly and heavenly realm was irrevocably deepened. Simultaneously, the sisterhood was tainted and ultimately destroyed. Tsuki-Okami scrupulously followed her punishment, not once trying to upset her sister ever again, hence becoming a compassionate ruler. This diligence is what obliged many other kami to scrutinise the raw malicious premeditation imputed about her. Which is why Tsuki-Okami isn't obstracised within the heavenly beings, solely the deities and spirits from the sun kingdom are rather opposing."
Airi finishes the rough explanation with an agitated expression. "Tsuki-Okami is a benevolent goddess, those two sins attributed to her are amiss. Isn't her repentance until now sufficient enough to be at Taiyou-Okami's mercy again?" She sighs in frustration. "When I was banished from the heavenly realm the current situation was actually quite tense, this much I can remember."
"Why was it tense?"
"It must have been associated with my birth. It was as if the entirety of the heavenly realm awaited me, but were eventually displeased with my inability to understand love." Airi frowns.
"However, I'm originally not a really distinguished or important deity myself. My birth couldn't have changed the dynamics of the heavens." She looks at her hands. "Presently I'm only a mere human whose soul has lived far longer than any other on this earthly realm. My powers are long gone and I can't even perceive other heavenly beings anymore. The detachment is far too great."
She clenches her trembling hands in fists. I place my hand on one of hers softly.
"You are still a heavenly being and I believe that you are far greater than any other deity or kami, since you lived with us humans for such a long time. You are more knowledgeable about the earthly realm as probably a vast majority of the gods who never left their celestial seat. That doesn't make you weaker, just stronger." I look at her and her eyes widen in surprise. Even inside this room with the warm light, her faint blushing is visible.
"Thank you." Her voice is bashful and I can see her delight in the twinkle of her eyes. She smiles in a dazzling way and I can feel the heat rushing to my cheeks.
Her tension eases up and she now holds my hand, intertwining our fingers. I'm a little too embarrassed to look at her directly, so I just stubbornly stare at our entangled hands.
"Is there any other deity or god who might harbour some ill-will against the lunar kingdom?" I try to divert the attention back to our original topic.
Airi chuckles, indicating that she saw through my plan and lets go of my hand. She takes the marker and writes 'Sun Kingdom' beside my written words. It is the first time that I see her writing something and I'm mildly surprised by her obviously different handwriting. It is vastly distinct to my style as well as to Chiye's.
It's just as the other subtle characteristics that make it apparent that someone else is within Chiye's body. Her handwriting also has an air of elegance and sophistication about them.
The most fitting word is probably 'heavenly'. There is something godly about Airi, even if she believes herself to be detached from it.
"I'm not sure about any other kami who might be harbouring any malevolence against us." She ponders.
"What about other tales where Tsuki-Okami is involved, maybe on that basis we can make out another culprit?"
Airi tilts her head more trying hard to think about that.
"Commonly known tales aren't passed on where Tsuki-Okami is playing a role, besides the lore on her sins and origin. Even within the lunar kingdom other stories are not really told, fearing to upset Taiyou-Okami by feeling more solidarity and pride towards Tsuki-Okami. As her descendants we are bound by her fate as well."
"You are not allowed to be proud of being a lunar deity?" I frown.
"No, we can't." The way Airi says this with absolute certainty and unquestionably makes me feel somewhat upset.
She is a heavenly deity from the lunar kingdom, ruler of the sky and night, but her overly noble descent is something frowned upon. Regardless of the fact that she didn't commit any of the grave sins causing the hostility from Taiyou-Okami. Teaching future generations about the past is important to avoid repetition, but stripping them of their pride and forcing them to be humble is excessive, especially after so many centuries.
"How do you feel about it?"
She smirks and leans forward to whisper into my ear. "I'm not allowed to upset the sun, but I see myself in high self-regard for being from the lunar kingdom and having Tsuki-Okami as my ancestor." Her whispering voice close to my ear sends goosebumps throughout my body. She falls back and gestures with her finger at her lips to keep this a secret. She grins mischievously.
I chuckle and gesture an 'okay' with my hand. We joke around for a little while more until continuing with the conversation.
"Can the sun kingdom really have this deeply rooted disdain towards you, enough to force you into banishment and eventually destabilising the power relationship within the heavens?"
"My parents are an essential pillar of the lunar kingdom, hence it would make sense in regard to striving to weaken the lunar spirit."
"But doesn't Taiyou-Okami and her associates already have the predominant role within the heavens?"
What's the point of diminishing power if one already has the most powerful and influential position? In the eyes of me as a human that would make perfect sense, human greed knows no limits. But great kami's succumbing to these vile human desires sounds inappropriate. Or it's just me holding the gods in much higher regard than they are in actual reality. I should get used to being surprised and having my assumptions contradicted.
"She does, however maybe the grudge resulting from the two grave sins might run just that deep."
I ponder for a moment. A grudge that is so deeply rooted that the sun kingdom still to this day has to ensure the subordination of the lunar kingdom? And in an attempt to destabilise it further, they make up this entire scheme around Airi, being born with the inability to love, just to upset her parents? Well, that actually sounds plausible in a way.
"We need evidence to back up this theory." I write down the key points of our conclusion.
"Evidence that would prove that my situation is a result of some solar deities conspiracy to weaken the lunar kingdom?" She raises her eyebrows pensively.
"If you would lay out our notion, how would you think the heavenly community would react? Is there even some kind of trial or jury to explain our suspicion? Someone or something that is neutral and not biassed to any of the kingdoms?"
Her expression shows that she is trying hard to think about my questions before answering rashly. "The only trial is the one after the death of humans, judging whether they can go through the gates to heaven or the abyss of hell. But I wouldn't claim that these judges will be held for a dispute between other kamis."
I shudder a bit by the thought of an existing hell. I'm kind of curious about what hell is exactly and what it means for a human to be there, but at the same time I'm too afraid to know it as well. Ignorance is bliss and I think I can enjoy my life without knowing what could or couldn't await me after dying. Though, I wish for all the people most dearest to me to avoid a sentence to hell.
"Then the verdict about our claim is probably made by Taiyou-Okami?"
"I'm not sure if the sun goddess herself would do that, but she would definitely have the last and most influential opinion on it, assuming that we will be allowed to speak before anyone at all."
Airi frowns. "I wonder what other deities are on our side. Ryousuke mentioned that there are some other supporters in favour of the lunar kingdom. There must be something that triggered them to think that way."
"Separating from the dominating dogma of deeming Tsuki-Okami and her descendants as sinful and banishing them for eternal atonement can't be a plain coincidence. Questioning and challenging the existing fundamental mindset is nothing that appears out of nowhere."
She nods slowly in agreement. "If Ryousuke can create an opening for us to get in contact with those in question, it might help us prepare for the actual confrontation."
"I'll text him." I take out my phone and ask him about the possibility of meeting the sympathisers as well as a way for me to join the passage to the gates of heaven.
After putting the phone away I look at Airi who absentmindedly stares at her hands.
"What's wrong?"
Is there something that I can't see?
"If I had my divine powers, then I would at least be able to see other heavenly beings who mingle with the humans. I could've gotten the necessary information on my own, without having to rely on someone else."
"Once in a while it's just fine to confide other people who have your well being in mind. And I'm saying that as your trusted tool and as our friend, that it really is a pleasure to be involved with you and the possibility to help you is even better."
She smiles warmly."You are not a tool."
"Whatever I am, I want to give it my best to support you."
Her smile brightens and she blushes a little bit before hesitatingly speaks. "It's been quite a while since I had a friend."
I can't help but burst out laughing. "Then I should feel even more honoured to call you my friend. Hopefully, I can fulfil my role as your friend to your utmost satisfaction."
She blushes even more and slaps my arm lightly. "Stop that!"
"Your wish is my command." I salute her dramatically and her embarrassed outrage is written all over her face.
"There is no way you could ever be a bad friend."
I stop with my teasing and smile at her. "You shouldn't hold me in such high regard."
She returns my gaze with serious eyes. "I might have lost my divine powers and most of the other aspects that make me a deity, but my judgement of the human character never fails me."
I lean forward provocably. "What is your judgement of my character then?"
She doesn't fall back, but instead firmly holds her position with a confident expression. "There is only so much space inside your heart and mind for the people around you, which causes you to be able to separate those dear to you very easily from those who aren't. Simply put, you only have a limited amount of capacity to love other people. However, those you may enter your closed off heart are held in a much higher regard than anyone else. Even your own self. You love unconditionally and selflessly. It's almost altruistic."
"How can you be so sure about that?"
"I can see it through Chiye's eyes, but I can feel it from you and that's the deity inside of me who says that." Her eyes are unwavering.
My expression softens up and I smile at her warmly. "You are right. Though, I wouldn't really define it as such a noble attitude."
"For each their own."
The buzzing of my phone breaks the serious atmosphere and we both lean over my phone screen to look at Ryousuke's reply.
"There is a weaver who is willing to get in contact with you to explain her opinion. Please come to the riverbank. I also have some information if you can join the passage to the gates of heaven." We exchange a brief look at each other and nod in agreement.
"Let's go." Airi takes my hand and I pull her up. It's been a while since I heard so much motivation in her voice which also makes me feel the excitement and optimism.
"Over here!" Ryousuke already awaits us at the riverbank as we arrive. Besides him is the small figure of a young woman. She hides behind him as soon as she sees us.
We get closer and the young woman looks rather like a child with raven black hair and golden glittering eyes. "Airi, my dear, such an honour to be able to see you twice today!" Ryousuke's voice is joyous but less exciting than before. "This is the weaver that I mentioned." He steps aside for a little and the girl makes a clumsy bow towards Airi.
"I-it is an honour to meet you. I don't have a name, for I am a simple weaver of the celestial garments." Her voice trembles.
"We don't have much time, she can't hold the human form for a long time." The weaver looks at him and he gestures to her to continue speaking.
"S-so, I am here now to tell you about the incident tha-that I witnessed."
"Please speak freely." Airi's tone is friendly and warm, the girl looks at her in awe.
"Well, I was asked to bring some silk to the hall of the divine Taiyou-Okami as I passed the silk fields, I overheard an exchange between spirits who weren't from the sun kingdom. They talked about your current situation on this earthly realm and ho-how glad they were for your unsuccess on your tasks. 'Our plan is foolproof' is what they said. That surprised me since i-it would imply that your banishment was a plan?"
As she speaks, Airi maintains a warm expression, probably to ease the weaver, but I can see the subtle anger within her eyes.
"How is it that you are willing to think that about me?"
The girl looks up to Airi, less fearful, but hesitantly. "I don't have a grudge against you personally. Sometimes, the cries from the lunar kingdom are echoing within the heavens and I-I feel bad for your unfortunate situation. Bu-But I'm not saying that I pity you! How dare I!"
Airi nods slowly and smiles lightly. "Thank you for your great heart, you have proven that you have something that most deities don't even have themselves."
Airi's praise makes the girl blush and she vehemently denies that. Her humbleness is astonishing, or it's just Airi as a divine deity with a strong aura that causes that.
"Will you be willing to repeat what you witnessed when I come to the gates of heaven to plead my innocence?"
The girl's eyes get bigger and she nods. "Yes, yes of course!"
"Very well, I'm very grateful for that. However, one last question remains. Do you know from which deity or kingdom those conspiring spirits were?"
She shakes her head. "I'm afraid, I only know that they weren't from the sun kingdom or the lunar kingdom. Please overlook my own lack of knowledge. I haven't met many other spirits from other kingdoms." She makes an attempt to kneel down before Airi, but she stops her softly.
"You don't have to apologise for that. I'm already endlessly grateful for your courage."
The girl avoids Airi's warm gaze and simply nods, fidgeting with her fingers.
Suddenly, some sparks begin to emerge from her feet. "Time is up. She loses her human form and returns to the heavenly realm."
Airi carefully takes the hands of the girl and holds them within her palm. "Thank you so much, have a safe passage." The weaver looks up and finally smiles at her.
She dissolves into numerous sparks and Airi stands up straight again, turning towards Ryousuke.
"You have my utmost gratitude."
He smiles at her happily. "You should thank me when everything is completed." He turns to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "I have good news for you. You may join the passage to the gates of heaven, but for that you have to be willing to pay the price."
"What is the price?" I can't imagine that the heavens could be bothered with human currency. It must be something connected to me being a human.
"That is something that I can't tell you. You will pay after arriving there. So first, you have to have the firm will to pay something to enter the gates of heaven."
"Okay, I will make sure to be full of it." I smirk a little and he returns my smile.
"Then that's settled. I will have to return to continue the preparations, I will contact you again soon."
The will to pay a price to be able to enter the gates of heaven is something that I should already have. My will and firm belief of getting Chiye back from there should suffice. Though, the thought of the price being something that might hinder me in my goals spark a little concern within me. However, it is just as Airi said. When a person enters my heart, then my love and care for them is selfless. I'm willing to give the heavens everything in my power to bring Chiye back to the earthly realm.
With the new information of the weaver and our own conclusion I can feel how our fates are inevitably tangled up with each other, making a disentanglement impossible at this point. Who knows what really lays behind all of it?