Just like that, he kissed me. Trying to make it all better, but it made things worse.
I pulled back as quickly as it happened, and I slapped him.
I grounded out, "Get out."
He turned, not looking back once; he opened the door forcefully and left. The door became blurry, and my sniffles filled up the empty room.
"Lexi?" I heard my brother speak softly from the staircase.
I squeezed my eyes shut. I forgot he was here.
Another knock at the door with a familiar pattern.
I knew who it was. Not wanting visitors, I asked Alex to answer it and turned into the kitchen to fix a cup of tea, trying to admire the vase of unopened dahlias from this morning's harvest.
I heard silence as the door opened and closed—soft footsteps came closer to the kitchen. The kettle popped as they stopped in the doorway, creaking as they leaned against it. I refused to turn around.
I swallowed before answering, "Don't tell me you could hear that from across the street?" I asked bitterly, filling the cup.
Nothing was spoken as a reply; I took it as a 'no'.
"Tea?" I asked, holding up an empty cup.
"Lex."
The whisper of his voice made me pause and blink back more tears. I abandoned both cups and turned. He had seen me in this state before; my eyes were red, and my voice was scratchy and the lump in my throat would not shift. I expected to see sympathy, which I didn't want.
"Are you okay?"
I looked into his eyes. The ones that would make me feel better, ones that were free of pity, just concern. Taking steps towards him, I shook my head no and, hugging him, buried my face in his chest. He returned the favour and squeezed.
"Did you spy on me, Leo?" my voice was muffled by his shirt.
"A little," he admitted, "That was some anger. I just caught him leaving the house and decided to check on you," he murmured into my hair.
He moved us forward, not letting me go, to the counter and filled the other cup.
"Want to talk about it?" he asked.
I pulled back slightly, one hand clutching the back of his shirt, and I took my drink.
"It was stupid. Hopefully, it won't happen again. I can't believe his nerve… He was angry because he caught us kissing yesterday. He can't let this crush go and let me be happy."
He rubbed my back calmly, "Sorry. I seem to have upset the balance. I should have asked first if anyone was in the picture. I didn't realise you were in a situation-ship."
I rolled my eyes at the term, and he began to untangle himself from me. I grabbed his arm before he pulled away and looked up at him.
"He is not. It was a non-runner from the beginning. We tried dating, years ago, but it was too weird. He is like a brother to me," I explained, "You shouldn't be sorry. To be honest, Quinn has been encouraging him, her stupid plans to match us up."
"He still kissed you, though."
He made me pause for a second time, and his arm rested on my waist. His face never changed, as casual as talking about the weather.
Looking confused, I asked, "How do you know?"
He smirked, "With a red cheek like that, I say he provoked it. I didn't tag you as the violent type unless forced."
He placed his cup down after taking the last sip and putting it on the counter; I copied and flipped the kettle on again.
"So, how many times did he pucker those lips?"
Looking back at him with a sly smile, I replied, "Just once. You sound jealous."
His eyes flicked to my lips as a warning. He stole them with a small peck.
"That's because I am. Hey, you didn't faint this time," he joked.
Giggling, I held his shirt in a tight fist. In a daze, I pulled him down and kissed him again. This one was more passionate but had a hint of sweetness. Relief flooded through me, the anger and annoyance melted away, never did I feel happy at the fire erupting through my body.
I became aware of our magic. I didn't force it; It flowed naturally. The longer we stayed embraced, the more our magic became intertwined.
The kettle popped, making us pause. He didn't let go of me; he looked at me as if waiting for something to happen,
"I'm not going to faint, promise."
He glanced above us and to see the purple haze around us. Closing his eyes briefly, small petals floated around, tulip petals and the Dahlias in the window opened in bloom.
It made me laugh in delight.
The haze faded, the petals vanished, but the flowers stayed the same. He smiled at my response and kissed my third eye.
"I'm guessing you've done for all your girls?" I resorted.
Grinning, he said, "No, I've seen Da do it a few times around Ma. I figured out the rest."
I smiled, 'How sweet.'
"Tonight is going to be fun for you."
I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Thank you for ruining my mood."
After a short while, Mum returned home from shopping, and Leo said goodbye after I thanked him… and he got a sneaky kiss goodbye. I immediately rushed up the stairs to my room and recalled the day's events in my book of shadows, tracing them onto blank paper.
17th March
They say that Sundays are days of rest. Ha! It's been the busiest day of the year so far. So much has happened all in 1 day.
Lathen finally pushed me over the edge. It's not even Lathen I'm seething at; it's Quinn. Too controlling.
I have to say something, speak up to her, But how will the coven fair? Friendships? Broken. A rift between us will cause lousy energy.
On top of everything already happening. To quote Shakespeare:
'To be? Or not to be'… selfish? Or selfless? as it were.
Blessed be,
~ Lexandria
We were cleansed for the night's 'festivities'. Putting on the black velvet cloak, I was ready. We had to be washed with salt and handmade soap in the bath. No shampoo or other products were allowed, so I let my hair hang down to dry.
I pulled up the hood as we entered the car; the night had already fallen, and we were shadows in the night.
I couldn't help but be distracted by anxiety. Quinn was lovely until you got on her wrong side. I prayed that Lathen had not said anything to her yet. I left my phone at home and turned it on silent. After Leo left, it was ringing non-stop. Most were Seri, but I couldn't bring myself to look.
"Lexi? Honey?"
Mum's voice brought me back to earth.
She chuckled, "Zoning out again, are we? With that look, I'm surprised nothing is on fire."
She referred to my short time with my full powers after Enmagica. I would zone out; books, candles, clothes, anything that could catch fire, did.
I still don't know how it would happen. Being absent-minded didn't help. The coven was concerned; having intense magic and being unable to control it made people afraid. It was challenging and dangerous.
I Am Dangerous.
As we arrived, I shook off my wondering brain and followed my family to the back garden of Seri's house. She lived away from the town and had very few neighbours around. It was perfect for privacy.
Collin, Seri's father, greeted me as I walked in.
"Hello, nice to see you again; it's been a while!"
"Collin! Did you have a lovely trip?"
Mum strode over to him and kissed both sides of his face in greeting. Seri's father was an architect and was often away for weeks.
We were the last ones to arrive. The large circle was prepared and needed closing on us when we entered. Salts, tree bark, incense and candles surrounded the circle's edge.
All of us gathered, and brief hellos, all you could hear was nattering. Observing the familiar faces around me, I noticed Lathen on the other side of the garden with Quinn; they were conversing. My heart sped up a little as the anxiety peaked.
Distance.
Sometimes, I felt so far away from all of them. My magic bound, perhaps forever. A secret I could never speak of, they would reject me. I took a deep breath and found Seri. I talked with her in hushed words about what had happened earlier.
A clapping took us out of the conversation; I focused on Nixon standing in the centre of the circle and calling us together. The Grimsbanes in the very centre, sitting ready for the rite to begin.
A rite of passage was a circle to welcome someone into a coven. You essentially 'showed off' your magic and synced your magic with everyone. Massive amounts of energy can flood the person.
Closing the circle, I stood between my mum and Alex. After grounding, we all moved as one. All sixteen of the current family coven, holding hands and moving in a dizzying circle. The Grimsbanes formed their smaller circle in the centre, moving against our clockwise. As the power increased, we sang, welcoming the family.
You have a place here in our hearts,
It will change and grow.
If you lose your way and can't find a way,
We'll send a storm to capture your heart and bring you home.
Despite the distance, you will see my footprints.
Yes, you have a place here, deep in our hearts,
You will depart someday, in some way,
But you will still have a home here in our hearts.
Freya broke free of the inner circle and lay on the grass, smiling joyfully with her. Then followed Cynthia; she looked a little more tired; perhaps it was the pregnancy. Lastly, Noel and Leo also joined them.
Leo looked in pain, but we didn't stop moving around the circle. Then came the flash.
It was brilliant ocean blue, Leo's magic: a blinding and a shout of pain.
The ever so familiar, gut-wrenching fear could be felt. Gasps all around and wide eyes held open on one person.
The circle immediately stopped.
The Shock.
I reacted without knowing it. Nixon moved, breaking his link, and I ran to Leo.
"No!" I fell, covering Leo's now small form with my body.
"I won't let you," I said with conviction; Nixon ground to a halt, "Not again."
Just behind Nixon, I noticed Quinn's face screwed in horror, but she stared off into her world. Nixon's spell was broken. Looking at Seri, she held a hand to her mouth, unshed tears filling her eyes. There was a stunned silence.
The Shun.
Lathen broke the silence, "What do you mean, 'Again'?" he asked no more than a whisper.
I closed my eyes and tilted my head down.
"Lexi. Move. It's dangerous. It's unnatural," Nixon persuaded with demand tight in his voice.
"Bullshit," I spat back at him.
As Noel began to stand, I turned to him and asked, "Did he grow up like this?"
Noel nodded solemnly. He was shaken from the reaction of the coven. Leo stirred under the silk cloak under me.
"Can he control it?"
"Yes. The old coven taught him to control it."
A natural ability to transform into an animal was a very rare occurrence. There are spells, but it takes a great deal of energy to accomplish. Our coven always taught this was Dark magic, another lie.
I glowered at Nixon. Daring him to start something, I saw the debate in his eyes.
The Judgement.
He huffed and walked to his daughter, who blinked out of her daze.
"You…You altered our memories," she accused, "Why?"
"Because you couldn't handle what had happened. Look at her; now that you remember, you feel different about her," he spoke loudly.
I felt four pairs of eyes staring at me. I looked up to Seri. She gave me hopelessness and pity. In the corner of my eye, I saw Devan take a small step. Regarding him with hope, he didn't move further; his eyes were down to the ground.
The Reject.
A lump formed in my throat as the silk rustled. I sat back on my feet and helped Leo out slowly. First, a small snout, a black ear, then two. He peeped out with two bright blue eyes. A cat and one I had met before. I swallowed the lump.
I warned him, "Move slowly. You'll freak them out."
He tightened up at the sudden message. As his family moved closer to him, I got up and looked at my mother.
Her eyes were sad but held pride. Holding out her hand, I fell into them.
"Please, I want to go home," I asked in a small voice.
She turned with me under her arm, and Alex held my hand as we walked away.
"Leo! Don't run!"
I turned to the sound of Cynthia's voice. I spotted a black blur shoot into the bushes, heading for the forest. I made no effort to move until my mother ushered me away.
"Let this pass. It will turn out okay," Mum said softly, "Believe in the goddess's plan."
I closed my eyes and silently cried.
'Goddesses plan? No. Nixon's plan. I've just thrown a spanner into the works.'
Forever bound by fear.