Cameron watched as the sun fell from outside of the window, the lights being closed off and turned into darkness. He was left alone in the room once again, only this time, he didn't feel so sad and scared. He just talked with his doctor, Susan. She promised him that he won't have to see his parents again if he didn't want to.
Cameron wanted that. Maybe he didn't have to go to school as well. He doesn't think he can handle going back to the Delinquent Cord.. alone…
Alone. He was now going to be alone with them. They truly were gone.
It took time, a lot of mental images and memories of replaying what happened until Cameron knew for sure that they were actually gone. A small part of him tried to fight back against it. Tried to stop thinking about it, all it brought was pain and misery.
He hated feeling like this. It made no sense. Yes, he was bullied by Kim Seo, teased by Loire, ignored by Vinh…
But… They were still all he had, all he would ever want. Because they were there, they were going through the same thing he did. They witnessed and were put into that place of pain, paying the price in death. Cameron as well, but he lived. He still doesn't understand why he was the only one to live.
He believed he didn't deserve it. Why should he?
He was and still is a nobody.
At least they made him feel like someone… Only, they were now gone.
The soft sounds of trees moving around from wind outside into the darkness slowly allowed Cameron to shut his eyes. It still unnerved him that he was alone in this room, though Susan promised him that she would come anytime he called. If he needs anything, Susan will come for him…
Why did she care so much? It didn't make sense to him, why should she care so much to do that for him. Maybe it's better not to question it. He didn't mind, it felt nice to have someone finally care for him..
His eyes slowly fell close, watching the silence from the window, darkness consuming his vision as he slowly fell into sleep. He let it happen, his eyes finally shutting.
It was dark. Of course it was, it was nighttime. The forest was pitch black, only the light fluff of the green background could be seen. His fists tightened, the cold metal in his grasp sinking into his flesh, almost making a print into him.
He looked around, he didn't know what he was looking for. But it was something.
He continued forward, passing the trees as he walked in a straight line, there seemed to be a path on the dirt, leading him off into the darkness. Where was the moon? It should be there, of course since it was night time. Where was he?
Small moments caught his eye from up front. His eyes widened, body slowly freezing into place on the dirt. He gulped, lips trembled softly at a figure slowly emerging from the darkness. It seemed like the perfect time for the moon to finally show itself. Casting down from behind him, Cameron had a view of the person..
The mask, the stupid mask that sent a shrill feeling in his chest. He sucked in his breath, vision going foggy as he was threatened to sob right there, right in front of him.
Why should he? That man was a monster, the soft glimmering of the red blood smeared into the mask only brought out an angry feeling within Cameron. It was so obvious, the zero feeling of fear as the killer zoned in on him. The slow, menacing steps slowly making its way in front of him with deliberate slow steps. He did stop, only inches away from Cameron.
The strong urge to throw up and run was strong, watching the man that had destroyed his friend and himself stand strong and tall in front of him. It didn't feel fair, because it wasn't fair…
How could he…?
He could just stand there. A proud stance, able to show such fierceness to someone he had just ruined.
It wasn't fair!
Cameron shakily lifted the gun in his hand. Both his hands gripped hard onto the metal, the cold feeling sinking right into his flesh as the barrel of the gun pointed right at his heart. He didn't move, he didn't flinch or even look away. The black abyss of his eyes staring back at him.
No remorse. No fear at all.
Cameron gritted his teeth, feeling even more angry that he wasn't reacting. A gun pointed right to his chest, yet he made no move to stop the actions.
It wasn't fair!
How could he just stand there and take it like a fearless being after what he did to him? After what did he do to them?
The shaking gun was still directed right at him, face hard as stone and heart beating faster and faster. He just wanted to do it, to kill him and make him pay for what he did. He watched as the man slowly lifted his hand to the mask on his face, the skull gripped in his hand before he slowly moved it off himself.
The gun in Cameron's hand shook harder, the end of it slowly wavering only slightly away from the man's heart. His legs wobbled out from under him, his finger slightly twitching along the trigger.
Still. The man didn't care, the slow and precise movements of him slowly taking the mask off with ease only seemed to piss the teenager off more.
It wasn't fair!
It wasn't-
The mask was lifted, forcing Cameron to stand face to face with…
Nothing.
There was nothing there. He stood by, his eyes staring off into darkness that was the killer's face. He realized.. he had no face.
There was nothing, just a body standing tall and proud with nothing connected on top. There was nothing, there was nobody. He just stared at the never ending darkness that was nothing, only the hood of the ripped clothing sucking in any life that was never there to begin with..
His heart reached levels the more he stared at it. A lump in his throat began to grow, his body trembled so hard that he could no longer feel the grip he had on the gun. He didn't have it anymore, it was just him and.. him?
The loud thumps of his heart suddenly reached his ears, pounding loud and hard, creating circles to run around in that was a never ending loop, it was driving him crazy, the sway of his own vision that couldn't focus on anything in front of him. He felt so useless, so powerless.
He had the weapon. He had the upper hand.
Now he was nothing but a shaking mess that looked back at death himself, arms reached out, only inches away from his hair. The slight graze, the slight feeling, the coldness consuming his senses until he was once again numb.
Numb and alone.
His fingers twitched, the darkness slowly fading away into a dim light that hid behind his eyelids. He felt compelled to open up, to open and face the word that was swarming around his head and threatening his own existence.
The dread was slowly washed away when the familiar scent of his doctor came in. She wore a sweet smile, the look in her eyes slowly falling when making contact with the small boy. She was over by his side in seconds, reaching for the monitors for signs of something.
Cameron gulped down the lump in his throat, his body feeling both sticky and hot. He was extremely uncomfortable, moving slightly only to stop when pain shot up his head. He cried a little, making Susan turn back down to him. She kneeled down, taking the IV from his skin before placing in another one.
Cameron looked away, feeling queasy at the sight and feeling. "What- what is that…?"
Susan sighed softly, a pinch from his side caused him to wince. "I am sorry Cameron. Your body is not taking the medication so well, your body is rejecting the malnourishment.."
"Is.. that- bad?"
"No-" She sighed softly, gently patting his arm before placing the bandage back over it with smooth fingers. "Well, it can get bad if I don't get you a new medication." She sighed, sitting down near him, Cameron finally turned toward her, his puffy red eyes making her own eyes go wide. "Cameron? Were you crying?"
"I-" He coughed, his throat scratchy and dry. "I don't know. I-I had a dream.. nightmare.."
"Oh sweetie…" She ran a gentle hand through his head, feeling it hot and sweaty. "Do you want to eat something sweet? I can get you some apples if that's alright."
"Sure…" He silently answered, turning into the touch with a desperate sigh of comfort.
Susan nodded, standing to call for a tray in Cameron's room. She sat back down when the door soon opened with a nurse carrying apples over to them. Susan thanked her, taking the 2 apples and a small cutting knife. She sat back down just as the nurse left.
"Do you like the crust?"
"Oh- uh…" Cameron felt his face heat up, confused at the kind gesture of his doctor carving him an apple. "I don't mind…"
She nodded with a soft smile, using her skilled hands to slowly carve the skin from the apple, twisting her fingers around along with the apple so the skin was slowly peeled away and off.
"You seem to know what you're doing…" Cameron observed, slowly lifting himself to lean against the wall behind him.
Susan gently tugged the rest of the skin off and onto the tray on the table beside the bed. "I am actually a talented chief."
"Wait- really?" His face lit up, looking for her reaction with sparkling eyes.
She giggled. "No- I'm just joking, I'm not the chief. Though I did take culinary classes during my college years when studying health."
"Oh-" He gulped awkwardly, tugging his knee up to put under his body weight. He hid the wince, feeling the normal numbing feeling from the medication slowly fade. Weird, was he growing resistance against it?
"I do think of myself as talented though." She smiled, slowly cutting up small curls of the apple into bits, she turned up to face the boy. "Maybe I can make you something you like once you're all better?"
She handed the cut slice to him, he took it, slowly registering the words. "... But.. I don't know where I am going to be. An orphanage? How will I be able to see you again?" He looked back up to her, taking a small nibble from the juicy fruit.
Susan looked back down, her fingers slowly tensing up with nerves as she continued to cut the apple into pieces. "Well.. I don't believe you actually want to go to an orphanage? Maybe foster care will be better?"
"None of them sound nice.." Cameron gulped the rest of the fruit, his body slowly relaxing at the sweet juices entering his system.
Susan continued to hand him the apple, finishing with the cutting as she reached for the second apple. She thought for a second, a crazy idea entering her mind. It was just an idea, and the thoughts of actually saying it outloud to Cameron scared her slightly. She knew it probably wasn't a possibility, but she wanted to do it…
But could she?
Cameron continued to gobble down the apple slices, relishing in the sticky sweetness with a joyous feeling. A knock on the door sent his body flinching, eyes training over with fear. Susan was about to stand when the door opened with Ms. Chirp entering.
Cameron slowly relaxed, along with Susan who stopped with the carving to greet the therapist. Cameron couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy, she was here to ask him more questions. That is what a therapist does, so it shouldn't be a surprise, though it made the teenager slightly unnerved. He liked just him and Susan in the room, it made him feel safe and at ease.
"Hello Cameron." She came over, pulling a chair on the other side of the bed before sitting.
"How are you doing today?"
"Better…" He gave a slow nod, finishing the last of the slices.
"That is wonderful to hear," she smiled warmly, tossing the paper on the clipboard over while making a quick contact with Susan, a knowing grin on her lips. Susan shyly smiled, cutting up the other apple into pieces. "So, I am going to ask you some more questions alright?"
Cameron nodded, making a small sound that earned a giggle from the therapist. "So, I wanted to ask, do you have a favorite subject in school?"
Cameron gave a weird look to her, not expecting that question. "Uhm.. no not really, when I was in the Delinquent Cord, we weren't allowed to have electives. So I didn't have one, all of it was boring."
"Hm," Ms. Chirp nodded. "Alright, do you have a hobby, something you enjoy doing in your free time?"
"Oh…" Cameron lightened up a bit, turning his head from Susan who peeled a piece off. "I- I like cooking."
Susan smiled lightly, handing the piece to Cameron who shyly took it.
"That sounds nice, what's your favorite food?"
"To like… Cook? Or eat?"
"Whichever," she nodded lightly, tapping her pen on the clipboard.
Cameron gulped slightly, feeling the sticky substance of the juice lining his jaw. "I like fried rice? I enjoyed making it and eating it."
Susan watched Cameron take small bites of the apple, an idea forming in her head.
"Alright, do you cook by yourself or with others?"
"By myself.. I haven't been able to in a few years though."
"Are you an only child?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any favorite animals?"
"I like owls.. I guess?"
"Do you have a favorite season?"
"Spring."
"How about a video game? Have any favorites?"
"I don't play video games."
The questions continued to go one, Ms. Chirp going a bit smoother with the questions, they were easy to answer, it didn't freak Cameron out at all. He was calm, relaxed with both women in the room.
He did however have a question he wanted to ask the woman. He waited a while, allowing her to ask more questions until she stopped to write something down. He had then finished eating all of the fruit, leaving Susan to clean up the stuff on the desk beside his bed.
"Uhm, do you know.. if there were any charges pressed against him?"
"Sorry?" She looked up to him, causing the boy to suddenly gulp with uneasiness. "Who?"
"The man who killed my friends…" He silently let out.
The women in the room froze, the silence clearly growing by the second after Cameron asked. He took a look at them, not understanding the words he used that made the grownups so uncomfortable.
"Cameron…" Ms. Chirp silently put the board on her lap. "That man. He has not been found yet since the police have not been able to contact you."
Cameron stared back at her, his eyes slightly prickled at a wet substance. "So he is still out there free?" He gritted through his teeth. The woman looked away, the clear evidence of what he said was true. His fingers clenched the bed shirt, anger overtaking him. So the bastard who did this to is still out there? He is still living free without facing the consequences of his actions?
He looked back down trying to calm his racing heart, his mind jumbling up into different thoughts that just messed more with his head. He shouldn't be freaking out like this, there was nothing to be afraid of. It's not like he will actually show up like he did in his dreams. He knew he was safe here, but why did his heart pump so loud as if he didn't believe it?
"I- I want to make a report with the police."
Susan shot up from the seat. "Cameron, are you sure you want to do that? Last time they just stressed you out more, you should wait until you're healed."
"I am better-" He looked over to her, his brows furrowed with deep thought. He made eye contact with her, trying to at least sooth the tension. "I am better," he turned his eyes to the worried woman. "I want him to pay Susan."
The woman gulped, seeing the fierce anger come from the young boy. She knew it could possibly end bad for him, but she had no say in his decisions about this. She was not his legal guardian.
Thinking about that, the doctor took a glance at the therapist, Ms. Chirp was calming the boy down, continuing to ask questions in hopes it would cool him off. Cameron followed her words, lowering himself, answering the questions with low enthusiasm.
Susan waited until it seemed that she was done. Patting her skirt, she thanked Cameron before turning to leave. Susan came over to her side, motioning to the door as she followed her outside.
"Is there a problem Susan?" She asked, closing the door behind them.
"I actually have a question I want to ask. Or, well an idea.."
Ms. Chirp gave her an eye, lowering the board to give the doctor her full attention. Susan took a gulp, feeling her palms grow sweaty and heart pick up in speed.
"I was planning on, well, I want to take full care of Cameron."
Ms. Chirp's eyebrows slowly lifted up, the small but clear expression made the doctor feel nervous again. She didn't know if she looked wrong, or if she said it in the wrong way. She had felt nervous before, but with the therapist studying her, she felt worse somehow.
"Okay," she finally stated, sighed loudly. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well- I want to be responsible for him. I don't think sending him to foster care or even an orphanage is the best option. He can come with me, I will be responsible for him."
Ms. Chirp looked at her, a small look of pity in her eyes. "Doctor, Cameron is almost of age. I don't believe at that age you can adopt him."
The doctor let out a pained sound, crossing her arms with a feeling of defeat. "I can't just let Cameron go off alone. I feel like that will just cause him more pain than good. Do you think there is a way I can take him with me?"
"Is that what you really want?" Ms. Chirp suddenly asked seriously. The doctor looked back at her, unable to read the expression on her face. "Taking care of traumatized teenagers is more difficult than you think…"
"I-"
"Are you sure you're up for that? You don't have any kids do you?"
Susan let out a hard sigh, trying to find something else to look at. "I have nephews that I had taken care of before."
"How old?"
"..." She looked to the ground, her voice going low. "About 4 to 7."
Ms. Chirp set the board to her side, placing a gentle hand on the taller woman's hand. She turned to her, seeing the soft and serious expression. "Look. I think it is best if you think hard and long about this. Taking care of someone that had gone through what he did will be hard. You have to be willing to put in the effort. To put in the time and money."
Susan didn't respond, frowning her eyes down and onto the floor. Ms. Chirp moved away, nodding goodbye before she left the doctor alone. The doctor leaned her back against the patient's door behind her, hearing a few shuffling from the boy and the small noise coming from the TV.
She remembered what he had said, what the boy had asked for during the session. She didn't think it was a good idea, but she had no choice. If it did possibly make Cameron feel better, it was worth trying.