5' 3"
"Are you going to say anything?" Michael Thomson asked in a husky voice. There was a picture of a woman on a gravestone. She had a beaming smile. Her eyes were sparkling with joy. Ethan remembered the day the picture, which had to be put on the gravestone, was taken. It was Audrey's twelfth birthday. She had a whole birthday party with event staff dressed up as princesses and a classical magician with a bunny in his hat. His sister said that she was too grown-up for this kind of activity; and then she spent the rest of the day taking pictures with princesses together with her grown-up friends and getting on the magician's nerves with her questions. The man even taught her an easy trick with a coin.
Ethan was throwing a tantrum since morning, upset that the birthday girl was getting all the attention. He was about to have a classical tantrum again; however, a birthday cake seemed to solve all the problems. In the evening, when all the event staff, Audrey's friends, and the magician had left, Thomson's family sat on the terrace and turned on some 'Tom and Jerry' cartoons while finishing sweet left-overs and helping Audrey unpack the rest of the presents. Ethan got stuck in a sparkling ribbon that was a part of one of the present's decorations, so he ended up in tears after all. Audrey, who was making fun of him the whole day, decided to show some mercy, so she put him on his lap and promised to give him any present he would like. The choice turned to a fashion doll, Ken. Ethan thought that the doll was really beautiful. The mother was watching her kids, choosing not to interfere in their building relationship. She would take part in their fights only when one of them was about to cross the line of hitting the other. Their mother always knew how to cheer them up or put them to the blush with a single word.
Their father took a picture that evening.. He captured the moment with their vintage P&S film camera. He captured the moment of her infinite happiness.
When the dark day came and they had to choose a picture to put on a gravestone, all three of them chose the same photo immediately. There was everything in the picture. Her smile. Her eyes, watching her beloved children. And the father's adoration that you could feel in the picture.
"I miss her," Ethan said, putting a bouquet of camomiles in front of the gravestone. Those were her favorite flowers. Mom would always put bouquets around the house throughout the year. The smell of these flowers was always associated with love and care in Thomson's family.
"Mee, too," his father nodded. Ethan was extremely worried about him. So many years went by, and Thomson-Senior still couldn't imagine himself together with another woman. Ethan thought it was wrong. What would happen if Ethan moved out one day? That thought kept coming back to Thomson. The same thought kept him in the house, even though his father had already hinted that Ethan should've started living on his own. Last night, after father's unexpected 'meeting' with Morgan, he decided to bring the issue up again.
"You're an adult, so you need your personal space," Michael noticed carefully.
"There's so much space in this house, so I'm more than happy with what I already have," Ethan answered.
"Well, so that the thing that happened half an hour ago wouldn't happen again—
"You should've listened to my whole answer before opening the door into my room," Thomson finished the sentence for him. His father probably understood that the son didn't want to leave the house, not because he was scared of adult life or wasn't ready to separate. He didn't want to move out because of Michael.
"What a handsome boy, by the way," the father said matter-of-factly.
"Don't pretend that you didn't know how he looked," Ethan smirked, sure that Duncan had already come over and shown his father everything he had on Morgan. When Thomson noticed Duncan spying on him the other evening, he burst into the house so angry that he almost broke the kitchen door. Michael had to listen to his son's yelling for forty minutes straight.
"Seeing him in real life is the whole other thing!" the father assured, not even slightly embarrassed. "When did you start dating?"
"We didn't."
"Really?" his father sounded surprised.
"Yes."
"But you tied him up. You…well, you touched him," his father almost whispered. It seemed that he could still see that picture in front of him. His son had touched someone! Voluntarily!
"So what?"
Father only rolled his eyes dramatically, showing that he thought it was absurd. Ethan was insisting on his point. They never spoke about it after, but now Thomson suddenly felt the urge to tell more about Morgan. Not to his father, though, to his mom.
"I think we should go," Michael said after being silent for about twenty minutes. His voice sounded husky. The man looked as broken as he did back at the mother's funeral.
"I'll stay," Ethan said, "I'm going to wait for Audrey," he explained, after noticing his father's lost look. Michael nodded quietly and then looked up in the gray sky.
"It might start raining," he drew his son's attention to the weather condition.
"The weatherman promised this morning it won't rain."
"Which doesn't mean it can't rain," his dad noticed with a sad smile, "You should've brought an umbrella."
"I'll be fine," Ethan said, staring at his mother's face in the picture.
"How long are you planning to wait for Audrey?"
"As long as I have to."
Michael only sighed heavily. He knew his son too well to understand: it was impossible to change Ethan's mind.
"Don't be long," he asked and headed to the narrow pathway towards the exit from the cemetery. Ethan sat down on the emerald green grass, not worrying that his expensive black pants and suit might get dirty. He took a deep breath, held it for a second, and then exhaled slowly. It was always hard to start.
"Hey, mom," Ethan finally spoke out, almost not feeling his tongue after being silent for too long. "I haven't talked to you in a while. I haven't seen you in a while, either. Sorry, it's been such a long time since my last visit." Thomson was silent for some time. "To be honest, there was nothing to tell you about. Nothing good, for sure," Ethan ran his hand in a glove across his light hair, "You see… I met someone. A guy. It's actually a funny story…" Ethan swallowed a lump in his throat, "Do you remember telling me about how you and dad met? It was a small town with conservative people. I didn't understand back then why the locals were so aggressive towards you, since I had no idea that Audrey was from a different man. Now I know. A young girl got knocked up by God knows who. I'm scared to think how much pressure you went through. Our father heard so much shit about you from them; however, instead of assuming who you were, he approached and decided to get to know you first. And he fell in love. And he married you. And you lived a happy life together. Unfortunately, it was too short," Thomson inhaled soundly, trying to cope with internal pressure that was getting bigger after every word. "You'll think it's funny, but I think I got into a similar situation. There was a guy listening to a bunch of shit people were telling about him at the party, but I decided to make an acquaintance. And I fell in love. Nobody's talked about marriage yet, as well as about moving in with each other," Ethan laughed exhausted, fixing the flowers, "The difference is that dad has always been perfect. I, on the contrary, was never so perfect…well…you know, I told you before. That's why I'm not sure I have a right…ugh…if I should…well…I can't hide it forever, can I?" there was silence instead of the answer. "I don't know what I should do. I don't want to spill it all out at him before I tell him about my feelings. If he dumps me, then a guy I haven't known for long enough will have an excess to my not so little secret. Of course, he won't walk around and tell about it to every stranger, but still," Ethan covered his face and groaned out of despair, "On the other hand, if I do tell him about my feelings and get a 'yes', and then I'll tell him something like, 'Since you already agreed to date me, I'm going to tell you about the shit you got yourself into'? That's wrong… Maybe, I should leave it the way it is. Or maybe… Maybe it'll be better if I just finish everything before I…"
A sudden gust of wind flew to the cemetery, so the leaves that already fell down flew up, and some maple leaves hit Ethan's face. Thomson put them away and stared at the gravestone.
"Okay, I got it. It was stupid. I'm not even sure that I'm ready to finish everything with him. Even if I had such a goal in my life. By the way, yesterday I told him I'm gay… Can you imagine that despite all the signs he was getting, he still doubted? I could tell it by his reaction to my words. You should've seen his face. It's a pity I didn't have a camera in my hands. He was looking at me as if I'd told him that I was Hitler's reincarnation."
Ethan wasn't dramatizing things. Morgan's facial expression was indescribable. Even if he was trying to hide his shock, he didn't do it well. It seemed that his thinking process turned in a different direction than it was before Ethan had told him about his orientation. Thomson could almost see how Noah was analyzing their previous meetings and talks. And, finally, he could understand that he wasn't imagining things.
Even though Morgan was clearly shocked after what he had heard, he didn't say a word and was silent the whole time Ethan was slowly untying him. Thomson even felt a bit sorry that he had come out to him before he untied him, and not after, because Noah didn't get all the vibe he should've while waiting to be set free. No. He was fully concentrated on the breaking news that no physical feeling could cover. The rest of their conversation was dry and rushed:
"I should go," Morgan said, not specifying why he suddenly needed to go somewhere.
"Okay," Ethan nodded, thinking that another provocation would be unnecessary here. Noah needed some time alone to process the information and decide how he considered their future relationship with Thomson.
But first he needed to find out about Ethan's secret.
"Mom… I miss you so much," Thomson said, reaching a gravestone with his hand and touching the face on it. "If you were alive, you'd definitely give me some advice on what to do… If you were alive, I wouldn't have made so many mistakes," Ethan admitted and shivered, feeling the cold raindrop fall on the top of his head.
It was starting to rain.
5' 8"-5' 9"
Noah couldn't sleep the whole night. He just couldn't calm down. He was thinking about Ethan's words over and over again, and then he started to analyze everything that Thomson had said or done before.
He said I've got beautiful eyes. And legs.
Noah did try to fall asleep, but emotions were so overwhelming, he would jump out of bed and, while being watched by two pairs of cat-eyes, start wandering around the flat, having no place to rest. Every time Peanut would get up from his pet bed and start following his owner, sure that it was feeding time. Sure, Peanut, it was just about time to chew on some cat food at freaking three o'clock in the morning.
Fluffy preferred laying on the table, where he wasn't allowed to lay down, of course, and flicking its tail sometimes, showing that Noah interrupted his sleep.
Who could possibly care about sleep when Morgan had finally understood that all this time Ethan had been flirting with him? BIG TIME!
He was flirting, right? Oh, he wasn't? Or he was.
Stop doubting, Morgan, Goddamn, he was flirting so obviously that only an idiot like you couldn't understand it till now!
As a result of these thoughts, in the morning Noah looked like he was one foot in the grave. Shadows of sleep deprivation were right there underneath his eyes. It was bringing out his paleness, also caused by the lack of sleep. On the way to the university, Noah was stuck between his wish to see Ethan and hide from him. Although he didn't need to hide. Ethan wasn't waiting for Noah with a bouquet of flowers at the front door. He wasn't waiting for him at the classroom door, either. He didn't save a seat for him at the cafeteria. At first Noah thought that something was wrong. Then he reminded himself that Ethan just told him about his orientation, not about his feelings towards Noah (even though it seemed almost the same). Later, when Morgan started to get more and more worried, he suddenly recalled that it was supposed to be his mother's anniversary of death this Friday. Ethan told Noah about it himself.
Of course! Of course, Ethan would skip today. He had other things to do, and it would be selfish to ask for attention from him on this day. After thinking about it, Noah calmed down and focused on his studies. However, he got anxious again at lunch. Dark clouds covered the sky; they seemed so close like they were about to swallow campus' roofs up. The air was moist. The chilly wind was rising, which meant that the rain was about to fall on the city.
Should he even bother Ethan with such stupid questions?
But were these questions really so stupid?
Noah was too shy to text Ethan earlier the other night. He was too busy processing ambiguous emotions. He would definitely go bright red with shame in the morning. But now Morgan opened the chat with Ethan with no hesitation and texted him.
Noah Morgan: 'Hello! Are you back home already?'
Noah stared at the screen, drumming his fingers on his knee anxiously. It was possible that Ethan was just busy at the moment. He shouldn't have hoped for a quick answer. Anyway, Morgan was still waiting.
Ethan Thomson: 'Hello. No, I'm not.'
Noah Morgan: 'But you're somewhere inside, right?'
Ethan Thomson: 'Why are you asking?'
Noah thought that everything was probably okay since Ethan was answering, and, besides, he needed some explanation from Morgan.
Noah Morgan: 'It's raining outside.'
Ethan Thomson: 'Valuable observation.'
Noah sighed. He wanted to ask Ethan another question, but Morgan felt it was too bold to ask it. Still…
Noah Morgan: 'Where are you now?'
Ethan Thomson: 'At the cemetery.'
Noah Morgan: 'In the rain?'
Ethan Thomson: 'No. I found an old crypt nearby.'
Noah flinched. His imagination drew a creepy picture: Thomson sitting in an ancient crypt with no way to get out, and risen skeletons were coming to get him behind his back. In this scenario, Morgan should've broken into the crypt on a white horse, brandishing his sword.
Noah Morgan: 'Are you planning to sit there till it stops raining?'
Ethan Thomson: 'I see nothing bad in this plan.'
Noah opened a weather forecast website, where you could monitor the rain map.
Noah Morgan: 'I see only disadvantages in this plan. You're stuck in the old, cold crypt. The crypt where someone is buried. There also could be insects. Tons of insects. And do you want to know the worst?'
Ethan Thomson: 'What's the worst?'
Noah Morgan: 'It's not going to stop raining till late night.'
This time there was no immediate answer from Thomson. Noah played with his phone for a couple of minutes before texting the new message.
Noah Morgan: 'Which cemetery are you at?'
Ethan Thomson: 'Why do you care?'
It was kind of rude. But Noah didn't get offended, not being sure but assuming why Ethan was behaving that way. Thomson didn't like demonstrating his weaknesses, and right now he definitely regretted that he had opened up to Morgan a little before.
Noah Morgan: 'I'm coming to pick you up.'
Ethan Thomson: 'I'm not a child. You don't need to babysit me.'
Noah Morgan: 'Ethan, people usually call it 'helping'. Have you ever heard about it? Do you know what it means? You should google it.'
Ethan Thomson: 'Don't mock me.'
Noah Morgan: 'Me? Mocking you? Look at yourself!'
Ethan was silent again. Noah shoved another pastry bun he bought for lunch and started typing even more furiously than before. He didn't plan to let Ethan go like that.
Noah Morgan: 'Okay, if you don't want to tell me where you are, that's fine. I can easily guess it myself. Forest Lawn, right?'
It was possible the trick wouldn't work…
Ethan Thomson: 'Look at him, how smart.'
…but it did!
Forest Lawn was one of the most expensive cemeteries not only in the USA but around the whole world. It wasn't surprising at all. It was extremely beautiful and amazed people so much it was possible to spot wedding ceremonies there! Another thing that surprised Noah even more was the fact that there were guided tours there. He knew that a lot of celebrities were buried there, though Noah knew only about Michael Jackson and Walt Disney, but it was still weird that you could walk around it with a guide.
Noah Morgan: 'Text me the directions.'
Ethan Thomson: 'I don't want you to come.'
Noah Morgan: 'Oh, really? How funny that I didn't ask your opinion.'
Noah hoped that it would make Ethan do something, not hurt him.
Ethan Thomson: 'Okay…I'll send you my location.'
It's a win!
6' 4"
Duncan Smith had been sitting for an hour hypnotizing Ethan's Mercedes. Michael insisted that the bodyguard should've stayed and ensured that the only son would come home safe and sound. Duncan didn't mind. Work is work. However, he couldn't imagine what a person could do for more than an hour at the cemetery. When raindrops started falling on the windshield, he darkened even more. Duncan was perfectly aware of how Ethan tolerated rain. He was also perfectly aware of Thomson's possible reaction to the fact that he had been followed by his bodyguard. Considering both of these situations, Duncan wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He would rather immediately go get Ethan, but he had enough after the last whipping from his boss, when the boy found out about the shadowing, he burst into the house and threw a tantrum.
After all, Duncan decided not to improvise and call the boss first.
"Is something wrong?" he heard a worried voice after the first dial tone.
Duncan described the situation briefly.
"Hm-m-m…" Smith couldn't see that, of course, but Michael was probably rubbing his chin, trying to find the best solution. "Have you seen Audrey?" he asked suddenly.
"I haven't," Duncan answered, apologizing to Michael in his head. He knew that Audrey preferred visiting her mother's grave early in the morning, when it was quiet and there were no people around, and leaving the flowers behind the gravestone, not in front of it, so that her relatives wouldn't know about her visit when they'd come. He doubted she decided to change her routine this year.
"Too bad. Problems usually unite people," Michael mumbled, not explaining what problems he meant and how they were supposed to unite his children.
"So what do I need to do? Should I go find Ethan?"
"Under no circumstances," Thomson-Senior finally answered, after thinking for some time, "Let's wait for another hour."
Duncan was about to groan out loud.
"What an hour could possibly change?" he asked carefully. Did Michael think it could stop raining? Then Smith had some bad news for him: the man had already checked the weather forecast and made sure that it wouldn't stop raining any time soon.
"Maybe he'll call his boy. Or the boy might call him himself. Let's not take away his opportunity to take care of my son."
What an old sly fox!
Duncan was about to laugh when he heard his 'take care of my son'. If only Ethan heard that!
"The boy's name is Noah," Duncan reminded him.
"Sure! You know I'm bad with names."
Michael was bad with names only when they weren't work-related. However, in court, all necessary names and details would easily appear like a charm. Duncan had never seen Michael doing his work, but, against his will, he had watched a couple of tapes together with Ethan.
"Don't you think these expectations might be…dangerous?" Smith asked insinuatingly.
"I think that my abundantly prod-hearted son wouldn't be thankful for rescuing him. On the contrary, he would be extremely offended and would be mad with us for another month."
"Like when he was fifteen and stuck on the tree, so I had to take him down?"
"Exactly."
"It was easy to tell even back then that he wasn't building a sweet character."
"Who does he take after to be so stubborn?" Michael sighed.
After you!!!
"You know better," Duncan answered respectfully, "Okay. I'm waiting for Morgan for another hour. If he doesn't come, I'll go get the boy myself. And God help me the moment we meet."
5' 8"-5' 9"
Noah never liked cemeteries. Others could see some sort of aesthetic and spiritual beauty. A sign of death could be inspiring and charming for some people. Noah couldn't stand it, however. All Morgan could see were lapidary names of dead, buried people with only some bones left. There was no charm or romance at the cemeteries for him. His eyes were constantly catching dates of death. Some of the dead were buried when they were younger than Morgan. Wasn't it eerie? Wasn't death just frightening, after all?
Noah, while checking the location Ethan had sent him, passed by the couple that was caring flowers, went by a group of rather loud tourists, and rushed to the other side of the cemetery. The further he went, the quieter it was around him. When the last sound of the voice disappeared, Noah felt uncomfortable. He would already run away from this place if he didn't know that Ethan was somewhere around.
The rain was getting harder. Cold autumn wind kept trying to steal Morgan's umbrella. However, Noah dealt with it heroically, walking through the puddles in his soaking wet sneakers.
There were a lot of crypts at Forest Lawn, but none of them were the same. Every crypt was unique. Some of them had exuberant, almost snobbish architecture; some were giving an eerie feeling; others almost seemed magical.
'There are two angels standing at the entrance,' that was the way Ethan described the crypt where he found his shelter. Noah was dying to ask whether they were The crying angels, and was about to advise Thomson not to blink. He wasn't sure Ethan would appreciate the reference to 'Doctor Who'. Even if Thomson watched the series (which was still questionable), they would probably be law-themed. But Noah could fix that. Ethan just needed to agree.
The angels weren't crying; they were just a piece of main entrance decor. Their wings were spread several feet out, faces turned to the door, hands holding a sword. It looked unusual. The crypt looked really old, so Noah had goosebumps for the second time after he had thought about the fine Ethan might've gotten for violating this place. Wasn't this place some kind of archaeological artifact?
Noah shifted from one foot to another hesitantly for a couple of seconds and then opened a squeaky door and stepped inside. It smelled really damp. The only way some light could come inside was through the little cross-shaped loopholes up in the ceiling. The walls were decorated with fretwork, which was impossible to look closely at because of how dark it was. Raindrops were falling from the ceiling. The roof was decorated with numerous patterns.
Ethan was standing in the center of the crypt, leaning against the tall sarcophagus. He was staring at the dull sunbeam coming from one of the loopholes. The unknown craftsman made the gravestone in the shape of a lying woman holding a bouquet of lilies. In the dark, it gave the impression that the woman was alive and they were gossiping about something with Ethan.
"Hello," Noah said, shaking the water off his umbrella.
"Hello," Ethan answered, standing in the same position and not even looking at Noah. His voice sounded dry and dull.
"Let's go towards the car, or are you planning to spend some more time in this woman's company?" Morgan smiled nervously, getting closer to the sarcophagus. Thomson pretended that everything was fine, but Ethan's paleness and the way he was holding onto his own shoulders didn't go unnoticed by Noah.
"I didn't ask you to come here," Ethan said heavily.
"You don't need to ask me," Noah shrugged his shoulders.
Ethan continued frowning.
"People don't just help each other," Thomson said, finally turning to Morgan and staring at him with a heavy look.
"They do," Noah assured Ethan.
"No, they don't," Thomson said, shaking his head, "Everybody has their own reasons. What's yours? Why are you helping me?"
Ethan wanted to fight. He wanted Noah to go away so that he wouldn't notice his bad condition. Probably, when he was sending him his location, Ethan had more control over the situation. He wanted to bring Noah to emotions and make him leave. One thing Thomson hadn't planned was Noah's answer that he gave faster than he managed to think about it:
"Because I like you."