5' 8"-5' 9"
The words that Noah had just pronounced gave him chills. They bounced off the crypt's wet walls and flew back at their owner like an avalanche of regret. It definitely wasn't what Morgan wanted to say. He didn't have a chance to prepare himself for it. This rushed confession turned out to be so tough to bear that, for a moment, Noah felt like he was about to be pressed against the dirty floor. Morgan froze like a condemned prisoner, waiting for the executioner to chop his head off with an axe. Ethan was supposed to be the executioner who was now gimleting Noah with his dark-gray eyes. Thomson continued standing beside the eerie-beautiful sarcophagus while also wearing an eerie-beautiful, expensive black suit, white shirt, black tie and shiny men's leather shoes. The black mask and the gloves were a perfect match for the outfit of a handsome, rich hermit who didn't want to have any sort of connection with the open world. Especially now, after hearing Morgan's words.
'You should just tell him that it was a joke,' his inner voice suggested, 'Or just correct yourself and say that you like him as a friend or a person. Be quick!'
Noah felt this idea was disgusting. Yes, a love confession at the cemetery inside the nasty, dark crypt wasn't his dream, and there was nothing romantic as well. There was only dampness and frowziness. However, he was responsible for what he said; he couldn't lie about it. Besides, Morgan had understood a lot about their relationship with Ethan the night before.
"You're aware of it, though, aren't you?" Noah added, after being silent for a couple of minutes. Ethan, just as Morgan thought, didn't look surprised. Astonished. Anxious, maybe. Or what else was a person supposed to feel after hearing a confession like that? Noah didn't know for sure. He had never been in such a position before. Still, if Ethan hadn't known about Morgan's feelings, he should've at least gasped. Thomson didn't gasp. He had known about it, and maybe he had known about it even before Noah understood his own feelings.
Ethan was staring at Morgan with his gray eyes, not saying a word. He was looking at Noah so carefully, like he was trying to spot a lie or self-profit. Didn't Thomson believe him? Or did he react like that to anything that wasn't a part of his conception of the world?
Noah thought that demanding an answer from Ethan was too cruel at that moment, considering how awful he looked. Neither Ehtan's perfect black suit nor his white shirt or shiny shoes could hide how vulnerable he was. Thomson would've never admitted that he was going through an emotional crisis. The worst thing Noah could've done in this situation was to dump his pathetic, irrelevant and needless confession on Ethan's head. Morgan, what have you done?!
"Now, since we've dealt with everything, how about we start walking towards the car?" Noah smiled forcefully, even though the storm inside him was getting bigger and bigger after each second. He was desperate to find out Ethan's answer. Right here, right now! Immediately! Then, another thought hit Morgan's head: if the affection was mutual, Ethan would immediately tell him about it. He would, wouldn't he? And if it wasn't… Anyway, there was a reason why Thomson was silent. Then it was a 'no', wasn't it? Or a 'yes', but Ethan wasn't in the mood to talk about it right now?
Of course, it's a 'yes'! He was flirting with you, after all!
Or maybe it was a 'no'. Maybe he just liked watching your stupid reaction.
Ethan didn't make a single move after Noah's words. Neither did Morgan.
"You don't understand what you're talking about when you insist that you like me," Ethan finally said, frowning. Morgan was even surprised that Thomson decided to get back to the subject and not just move on after Noah had given him such an opportunity, while suggesting to go towards the car. Though he even flinched after hearing Ethan's utterance.
"I understand everything," Noah answered back.
"You don't know me," Ethan grunted.
"Yes, I don't know much about you," Noah decided not to argue, "So what?"
"Hasn't life taught you anything?" Ethan asked, tapping his right eyebrow, hitting on Noah's scar that he got from his ex-boyfriend. It was a low blow. The other question was: who was offended more by this comment—Morgan, who was reminded about this unpleasant situation, or Thomson, who had voluntarily put himself on the same level with that bastard?
"There's nothing bad when you want to trust a person, even if you don't know everything about them," Noah frowned, "What do you suggest, hiring a damn detective every time I think I like someone, so that they can find all possible dirty details?"
That's not how it works, Thomson.
"It would be nice," Ethan said, "You're just awfully naive."
Thomson wanted to get into a fight with Noah. Not the worst strategy. It was the easiest way to get rid of a person: just make him disengage from you, regret they had feelings for you, do everything to make him disappointed about you so they'd never look in your direction again. However, this strategy didn't work on Noah. Even though his feelings could sometimes appear unexpectedly, for no good reason, they were never shallow. Every time he was in love, Noah was getting over it painfully for a long time.
"You're acting like a crybaby," Morgan snapped back. Ethan seemed puzzled after this answer, and, for a moment, you could see a childlike confusion. Noah understood that Ethan was trying to alienate him. Why? Was it because he wasn't into Morgan? Or was it because Ethan didn't know how to build a relationship with another person, even if he really wanted it? Well… Noah didn't know, either. He wasn't experienced enough. However, he didn't have any skeletons in his closet that were pulling him back, not letting him step into the future. Ethan had those skeletons, apparently. So what?
"Morgan, you're getting pretty brazen," Ethan stated.
"So, that's how you call it now, huh?" Noah smirked, "Let's get out of here. I'm getting goosebumps from this place," Morgan shivered demonstratively, showing that place wasn't the best to sort out the relationship.
"No," Ethan continued being stubborn.
"Don't tell me I need to use force to take you out of here," Noah sighed.
"Touch me and I'll punch you," Ethan suddenly snapped. Again, it all just showed how terrible his emotional condition was.
"I'll punch you back," Noah answered calmly, not even thinking about touching Ethan. Okay, definitely now without his permission. Moreover, Morgan didn't want to get into a physical fight at all.
"Wow, so romantic," Thomson said sarcastically.
"You think?" Noah acted like he didn't catch that sarcasm. "And I think it's weird. Smells like an abusive relationship."
"There's no relationship."
"Then there's only abuse?" Noah laughed nervously. Ethan just mumbled something Noah couldn't get as an answer.
The sound of the rain was getting louder outside the crypt. Water drops were falling more and more from the stone ceiling, and the air became moist and cold. The time went, and Ethan didn't seem to look ready to get out of the crypt together with Morgan. He didn't look ready for a normal dialogue. What was it better to do in this situation?
"Okay, here's a compromise," Noah suggested, going deeper inside the crypt. It didn't go unnoticed for Morgan that Ethan stepped back unconsciously, unwilling to cut the distance between them. "I'll leave you my umbrella," Morgan put the umbrella on the edge of the sarcophagus, "You can go out when you're ready," Noah said, putting a hood on his head that definitely wouldn't hide him from the rain. Morgan decided not to wait for Ethan's answer. The guy got out of the crypt and, trying not to care about the poor weather, started walking through the puddles towards the exit from the cemetery. He had to walk under the pouring rain and wind for at least twenty minutes. Also, he probably had to wait for some time for an Uber to arrive. Well, at least Noah had enough time to enjoy self-castigation and cry over his pathetic confession.
5' 3"
One thing was to know about someone's feelings, though, hearing about them from the person was a whole new deal. Did Noah really just tell him about his feelings? It just doesn't make sense! So, Thomson didn't come up with a better idea than start showering this person with a bunch of sarcastic phrases, even though he actually had feelings for him. If Ethan hadn't had his difficulties, he would've probably shaken Morgan's shoulders and said, "How can you possibly like me? What the hell are you talking about?! Do you even have the slightest idea what you're taking yourself into???" It was the worst time and the worst place to talk about feelings. Ethan was down in the dumps because of his mom and the rain. That's why these new emotions, even though they were positive, sank in the negativity he had already experienced, so it all just turned into depressive facts with an ashy aftertaste. Ethan was mad at Noah. Ethan wanted to yell at him. He wanted to tell him everything he had been hiding inside so that Morgan would get terrified and leave, showing Thomson that he couldn't be loved. Ethan was panicking. Quietly. There were no tears, sobbing, or breaking things. Ethan was going through this episode silently and internally. And it was way worse than if he had uncorked his emotions.
Noah's confession felt like a low blow. It felt like the universe had slapped him in the face, ruining his plans completely.
Only when Morgan left had Ethan finally understood. His behavior was awful, and his accusations of Noah were just pointless. Besides the rest, his internal voice decided that it was the right time to compare Ethan with Noah's ex-boyfriend. While Thomson was thinking about that bastard after hearing Morgan's stories, he just couldn't grasp how Noah, who was such a sweet, nice guy, could be bullied. However, that was what he was doing at the moment. It was disgusting.
"Fuck!" Ethan said in the heat of the moment. He rushed to the other side of the sarcophagus, grabbed Morgan's umbrella and looked at the crack between two slightly open doors of the crypt. It was pouring rain. Ethan shivered a little. The sound of the rain didn't bother him the way it used to, since he always played it in his room or in the car. Though it didn't feel cheerful, either. Raindrops were striking furiously on the ground, lawn, trees, gravestones and the crypt's roof. The small water thread got inside the wet room and ran right towards Thomson. Ethan stepped aside unintentionally, not letting the water touch his leather shoes. Although he wouldn't be able to escape all the water outside. Considering the rain, doubtfully the umbrella could help. Morgan didn't even have that umbrella.
Noah.
Ethan stepped in the water aggressively. Did he really want to hide in the crypts for his whole life, jumping away from the rain and letting the person he liked get soaking wet outside?
It ends now!
Ethan got the umbrella and opened the rusty doors of the crypt. The gusting wind was bending trees and bushes to the ground. The rainfall was so big that it was impossible to see anything a couple of feet away. Thomson held on to the umbrella's handle like it was a lifesaver. Ethan's fingers felt numb because of it. Thomson swallowed anxiously. He forced himself to take a step, but his legs didn't move. The urge to hide in the corner of the crypt was unbearable. He couldn't control his body; his mouth was dry, and his heart was pounding.
'Why are you torturing yourself? Just get back inside the crypt and wait for the rain to stop. Nothing's going to happen to Morgan. He won't melt,' his scared internal voice whispered.
Get out, God damn you!
He felt a spasm in his knee.
Morgan's going to get all wet because of you! He's alone there!
Ethan finally made a move. His leather shoe dove into the soft ground. The grass touched his naked calf, leaving a wet mark on it. Ethan shivered, but he, after exhaling soundly, made another foot move forward, too. The rain attacked the umbrella so hard that Ethan flinched after the sound he heard. Several drops hit his face with the wind, and Ethan, holding a scream, moved back towards the crypt unintentionally. However, he didn't step under the roof. He was so irritated by his own cowardliness that Thomson slapped himself in the face. The mask couldn't soften this punch. The cheek was burning. Not only the pain sobered Ethan up, it also made him angry. And anger was the best motivator for Thomson.
"I should've dealt with it a long time ago," Ethan mumbled, stepping forward bravely, "Coward," he said.
That hate speech was perfect fuel for the rage. Anger was spreading across Ethan's body, making him move further through the rain towards the path.
If he gets sick, it'll be your fault.
It was the last straw. Ethan rushed across the cemetery, trying to see something through the fog. The sense of resignation came after the rage. So, Ethan decided that this walk under the rain could be counted as progress. Even though Ethan was still holding on to the umbrella as much as he could.
Thankfully, Morgan was found quite fast. Right after he had noticed his blurred silhouette, Ethan ran towards him, not caring much about shoes being completely wet. Noah wasn't on the road, like Thomson assumed. He didn't seem to care about the bad weather. He froze near one of the old gravestones. Ethan caught his breath first, so that Morgan wouldn't understand that Thomson was technically running after him, and only after that he reached him and covered his head with the umbrella. Morgan sighed, like he had just come back from his dark thoughts and then he slowly turned towards Ethan. Water was running down from his soaking wet hood onto his cheeks and his nose. Wet hair was curling. His eyes were red because of the rain, or maybe he was…crying.
"What are you doing?" Ethan asked dryly. Noah just shrugged his shoulders instead of answering, like he also had no idea what. Thomson shifted his gaze to the gravestone, where there was someone's name and date of birth and death. Ethan knew nothing about that person, though he made two conclusions. Number one: the girl that was buried here died in the beginning of the previous century. Number two: she was the same age as them.
"Do you know the girl who was buried here?" Ethan suggested carefully, even though he couldn't spot any connections between her and Morgan's names. Noah shook his head.
"I don't know her."
"Then why did you stop here?"
Noah just shrugged his shoulders again.
"That's not the answer," Thomson noticed, trying his best to behave casually. He wasn't bothered by the sound of the rain. He wasn't bothered by the water in his shoes. He wasn't bothered by the piping wind, making raindrops fall on his feet. He wasn't bothered by his own helplessness. No, he wasn't bothered; he wasn't bothered; he wasn't bothered at all.
"She died so young," Noah answered after a while. "I've never been to the cemeteries before. I've only seen them in the movies or in the pictures. I've never thought that they're so…eerie."
"Well, actually, this cemetery was designed as a park because its founder thought that such places shouldn't cause only grief and sorrow," Ethan mentioned.
"What else are they supposed to cause?" Morgan couldn't understand. "There are thousands of dead people here. And yet some people even get married here! It's terrifying!" Morgan exclaimed, truly shocked.
"I think you overthink the concept of death," Ethan said, not knowing how much more he could handle.
"Isn't death frightening, after all?" Noah was struck, "Whenever I think that my grandma…or Fluffy…or my mom—
"Or you," Ethan said coldly, "I don't want to be rude, but we're all going to die one day," he said. "Instead of wasting your time thinking about the death of your loved ones, you should better spend this time enjoying their company while you can. There's no time like the present; don't screw it. Don't make the same mistakes I made."
Noah sniffed his nose. This time he was wise enough not to start arguing with Ethan.
"Now, let's go to the car, or else this stupid wind will make us part of this cemetery."
5' 8"-5' 9"
Ethan said that he needed a moment to catch his breath, and now he had been sitting still for ten minutes, holding on to the steering wheel, his forehead pressed against it. Noah didn't bother him, waiting until Ethan recollects himself. Time was going by. The rain was falling on the city. There was almost zero visibility. Of course, it was way more comfortable in the car than in the crypt. But still…
"Ethan, how can I help you?" Noah asked in a quiet voice.
"You can't."
"That's not true. There should be something I can—
"No."
Noah frowned. He didn't believe there was no solution to the problem. Probably, Ethan refused to accept help from Morgan.
"Maybe I could drive?" it was a weak try, but what if…
Ethan turned around to look at Morgan.
"Do you have a driver's license?"
"Well… yeah," Noah answered, looking confused. He could drive, but he wasn't skilled enough. Any other person would probably never risk driving in such weather if they had the same driving skills as Noah, since it could be dangerous. However, Noah was way more worried about Ethan's condition at the moment.
"Then we should go for a drive some day," Thomson said, sat straight again and started the car.
'We should go for a drive some day?' What did it mean? Did Ethan accept Noah's feelings, or did he decide to ignore them?
Noah didn't risk asking this question while Thomson was driving. They were both silent during the whole ride. Ethan was looking at the road, while Noah was looking through the window, watching raindrops running down the glass. Only when Ethan parked near Morgan's house, Noah, who had been deep down in his thoughts the whole time, suddenly said:
"You should know that my feelings won't—
Noah was about to say, 'won't be a problem for our friendship,' but Ethan suddenly interrupted him with a rude:
"Get out of the car."
"Huh? I mean I…" Noah mumbled in confusion, not ready for this reaction.
"I said—get out of the car," Ethan uttered, and Noah, swallowing the offense, stepped outside the car under the rain that was finally getting smaller. "Take it," Thomson handed Morgan the umbrella, but he just closed the door and bent towards the passenger window.
"Keep it," Noah said, hoping that Ethan, in case he didn't hear him, could at least read his lips.
Ethan shrugged his shoulders and threw the wet umbrella to the passenger seat, where Noah sat just a second ago. Then he pressed his feet on the gas and left before Morgan could say goodbye to him.
Ethan said that they should go for a ride together with Noah driving, but now he behaved as if he decided not to spend any other second of his time on Morgan. Ethan didn't say farewell, but it seemed like he still drew a line to finish their relationship.
Noah entered the hall on the first floor. His heart was pounding, and, just as it was at the cemetery after he had told about his feelings, he felt a lump in his throat. Noah couldn't even go up the stairs, not to mention going to his flat. He just leaned against the wall and slid down slowly on the floor, feeling the water mixed with his teardrops running down his cheeks.
Noah took the phone out of his pocket and tried to wipe the water off it. Nothing worked, so he just started tapping the screen aggressively to make the touchscreen work. He succeeded only half of the time. Noah opened TalkPanik and clicked the chat with Andrea, which he last opened the day when they had a talk with Scott.
Noah Morgan: "Hi. I wanna talk to you. Call me when you see it."
Noah Morgan: "Hi, Andrea. Are you okay? You just disappeared. I'm starting to worry about you."
Noah Morgan: "Hello. Please text me when you can. We need to talk."
All three messages were marked as 'not delivered', which meant that the phone was either turned off or the app was deleted or blocked on purpose. If that was the case, Noah could wait forever for the answer. Still, he was trying to find a way to release his feelings.
"Hello again," Noah typed with his shaking fingers, "I told Ethan about my feelings today. At the cemetery, if you're interested. And, I think, I got turned down."